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As the helmetted figure walked around the med bay, healing the light wounds of the bedridden pirates, Kix’s face would twist in remorse. No one except Captain Ithano and himself knew how the beroya got her hands on a lightsaber. Every time he’d remember that… reason, his chest would tighten in pain.
A Jedi survivor.
A survivor from…Order 66.
The cursed order that made his brothers slaughter all of the Jedi – their own commanding officers, the ones that fought together with them throughout the war,… their comrades…
Dead.
They…the clones, his brothers had betrayed the Jedi.
And he had let it happen. By letting himself get captured… When he was already so damn close…!
The beroya noticed the medic staring at her with that sad face of his again. She managed a small, warm smile through the gap of her helmet before turning back to the patient. It was a secret exchange between just the both of them, letting him know that she would be available for a talk once his crew mates were fully healed.
Kix frowned while sorting out the medical supplies on the worn shelf. He knew that he needed to talk to her. It was part of the healing process. There was a deep guilt towards her people, the Jedi,… and her letting him know that it was already in the past,… it consoled him.
A Jedi was willing to forgive him. Even as far as saying that it wasn’t even his fault – though he never really believed the latter.
He had been clinging on that consolation of hers ever since they first met in this…new age.
But every time the medic and the jedi-turned-beroya found the time to talk, it would eventually end up with the man breaking down, apologizing repetitively for not being able to warn them of the damn plot. The order. The grand masterplan. Kriff. He was so close…
If it were anyone else, it would’ve been annoying – to hear someone apologize for something out of their control a bit too many times, over the same thing.
But not her. She had been very patient with him, very understanding, very sympathetic… She never even once looked at him with fear nor anger.
The beroya understood that it was out of his control…but also aware that he’d carry the guilt till the day he dies, no matter what she’d say to him.
She’d know.
The former Jedi master had her own fair share of guilt, anyway.
She had said that the wound from the guilt would leave a deep scar, but promised that it’ll be less painful as time passes. She also mentioned that being alone wouldn’t help.
Which was why she had encouraged him to continue his crusades with the Crimson Corsair. And she had even offered some Force mind tricks to help him soothe away the pain if she were around long enough.