Work Text:
Alumni homecoming at ito ang unang beses na makaka-attend si Jaehyun dahil sa ibang bansa siya nagtatrabaho matapos niyang makagraduate ng college. At pagkakataon nga naman, ang theme nila ay freshman night at ang dress code ay kung anong suot nila noong first day ng college. At anong suot niya?
Syempre ang usual getup niya – black tshirt, jeans, at sneakers.
Pagpasok niya ng venue ay bumungad ang iba sa kanyang mga batchmates at former blockmates, hindi na nga niya mabilang kung ilang beses na niyang nasabi na okay siya, na sa ibang bansa siya nagtatrabaho at single pa rin siya.
Oo, single pa rin siya. Bakit? Well..
“Jaehyun!” Napalingon si Jaehyun nang marinig ang boses ng kaibigan niya at nakita si Taeyong na kumakaway, agad naman siya nag-excuse sa mga kausap niya at lumapit sa kaibigan niya. Kasama rin pala niya si Doyoung, ang bestfriend turned boyfriend niya, si Yuta, at ang bunso ng barkada nila na si Hyuck.
“Grabe ‘di mo man lang ba kami hinanap muna? Nakipag-usap ka muna sa iba?” Madramang tanong ni Taeyong at humawak sa dibdib, acting as if he’s offended. “I was looking for you guys but they called me kase, nangamusta sila and stuff. At ‘wag mo ako artehan, Taeyong! Magkasama tayo kahapon!” Sagot naman ni Jaehyun.
“Grabe ‘di man lang kayo nagyaya?” Si Yuta naman ngayon ang umaktong naooffend, “Oo nga grabe ‘yan sila Kuya Jae.” Paggatong ni Hyuck, si Taeyong at Doyoung ay tinawanan lamang sila, “Uh.. you guys said you have work yesterday?”
If there’s one thing about Jaehyun that hasn't changed for the past years that they know him is that there are times that he still can’t distinguish a joke from a statement.
Kwentuhan, kamustahan, biruan. Sa ilang taon nilang ‘di magkakasama at bihirang makapag-usap dahil pare-parehas na silang busy sa personal nilang buhay, akala mo wala pa ring nagbago. Taeyong, Hyuck, and Yuta still team up to roast Jaehyun, Doyoung would just laugh at them, and Jaehyun is still trying to defend himself.
Nagsisimula na rin ang program, may pa-games, raffles, sayawan, inuman. The place was filled with nothing but laughter and music, at kung tatanungin si Jaehyun, this event was way better than some of the fancy parties he attended abroad.
“True ba? Wala ka pang jowa ulit? Bitch, you’re lying!” Jaehyun could only look at his friend with a blank expression before rolling his eyes at him. “You asked, I just answered with all honesty?” His answer came out almost like a question. “Edi ilang taon ka nang walang dilig?” Tanong ulit nito, “Gaga! Anong tingin mo sa’kin? Santo?”
“Ah puro one night stand.” Pagsabat naman ni Yuta, “Bakit ‘di ka pa nagjojowa ulit?” Tanong nito na may nakakalokong ngiti, “May hinihintay ka ‘no?”
“Hi Kuya Johnny!”
Sabay sabay silang napalingon dahil sa biglang pagsigaw ni Hyuck at nakita si Johnny na papalapit na sa table nila, the man has a smile plastered on his lips. Jaehyun was surprised, but then again, why would he? They’re from the same university. His mind was now wandering as he watched his former lover laugh with his friends as he greets them.
Kapag nameet mo ulit ang ex mo sa homecoming after ending your picture perfect relationship with them 7 years ago, ano ang una mong sasabihin? Hello? Kumusta? Meron ka bang mga tanong sa kanya? Mga bagay na gustong sabihin? O iiwasan mo na lang siya?
And Jaehyun has an answer for that – gusto lang niya kumustahin si Johnny at may isa rin siyang tanong sa kanya.
“Hey Jae.” Bati nito sa kanya habang nakangiti pa rin kaya naman nginitian din siya nito, “Hey.”
Pinaupo ito nila Taeyong sa tabi niya kaya sinamaan ni Jaehyun ng tingin ang kaibigan, maya maya pa ay tumayo na lang bigla si Taeyong habang at hinatak ang boyfriend nito. “Wait lang guys ha? May kukunin lang kami ni Dons sa kotse.” “Ha? Anong kuku–” “Basta may kukunin kami, d’yan na muna kayo!”
“So ano nga pala yung sinasabi mo, Yuta? You want to buy properties? I can connect you to some real estate agents I know.” Sabi ni Jaehyun, “Ah ‘yon? Tsaka na natin pag-usapan! Homecoming tapos business usapan.” Sagot naman nito sa kanya. “But you said–”
“Ay nako wait lang tumatawag si misis hehe” Nagmamadaling tumayo si Yuta habang nakadikit sa tenga nito ang cellphone nito, and Jaehyun was confused – his friend has a ‘misis’? E hindi pa nga ‘yon kinakasal at lalong wala namang girlfriend!
“Ikaw Hyuck? Kumusta naman sa work mo?” Tanong ni Johnny kay Hyuck kaya naman binaling na lang din ni Jaehyun ang atensyon kay Hyuck na hindi rin mapakali sa upuan nito, “Ha? Eh ano kuya hehe okay naman.” Sagot nito habang lumilingon lingon kaya naman ginaya rin siya ni Jaehyun habang si Johnny ay naka focus sa program.
“Sino ba hinahanap-”
“Ay andun pala si Taro, d’yan muna kayo mga kuyas!”
Hindi na nito na hinintay na makasagot sila at agad na umalis, now, they’re left there in silence. Technically, hindi naman tahimik, pero hindi sila nag-uusap at iniinom lang ang mga alak na nasa table nila.
And Jaehyun? Well, as much as he wanted to catch up with him, he didn't know what to say. O nahihiya lang talaga siya. Si Johnny ‘yan e. Si Johnny Suh – ang kanyang first everything at greatest love niya.
Jaehyun finds a timing and tapped the older’s shoulder, making the latter turn to him.
“Johnny, d’yan ka muna. I just need some air.” Pagpapaalam niya, and by air, he means he needs to smoke. But Johnny doesn’t need to know that because 7 years ago, he hated smoking, kaya nga tumigil si Johnny para sa kanya.
Ironic no? But oh well, loneliness in a foreign country does wonders.
“Ah yeah sure sure, dito na lang muna ako.” Sagot nito pagkatapos tumango, Jaehyun only smiled at him. Sinundan niya ng tingin ang nakakabata hanggang sa mawala na ito sa paningin niya, napabuntong hininga na lamang si Johnny.
For the past few years, he always wondered how Jaehyun was doing as he avoided asking their friends, and now that he had seen him, he knew that the younger had changed. But what didn’t go past him is the way he looks at him o assuming lang talaga siya. At dahil naging malapit na rin naman sa kanya sila Yuta kahit matapos nilang magbreak, parang open secret na sa kanila na hinihintay pa rin naman niya si Jaehyun kahit ang nakakababata ang tumapos ng relasyon nila pitong taon na ang nakalipas.
Mahaba pa ang gabi pero pakiramdam ni Johnny, nauubusan na siya ng oras nang maalala niyang aalis na nga pala sa makalawa si Jaehyun, sabi ni Hyuck sa kanya. Ilang minuto pa lang naman sa labas si Jaehyun pero bahala na, ayaw na niyang magsayang ng oras.
Paglabas niya ng event hall, hindi niya alam kung saan pupunta. Their former university changed too much so he starts walking to the places they used to go to.
Rooftop? Wala.
Gazebo? Wala.
Student’s area? Wala.
Field?
Doon niya nakita si Jaehyun, nakaupo ito sa bleachers habang nagyoyosi at mukhang malalim ang iniisip.
Yosi?
Si Jaehyun?
Nagyoyosi na si Jaehyun?
Johnny frowned, his former lover hated smoking to the bones. Iyon nga ang madalas nilang pag-awayan noon, nagagalit kasi ito kapag amoy yosi siya, lalo na kapag hinalikan niya ito. But then again, people change, and so does Jaehyun.
“Nagyoyosi ka na pala.” Ani niya nang makalapit siya, mukhang nagulat si Jaehyun at agad na tinapon ang yosi at tinapakan ito kaya muli siyang napailing bago naupo sa tabi nito. “I thought you needed air.”
Hindi na ito sumagot, Johnny didn’t want to ruin his mood, so he immediately changed the topic. “I heard you’re a branch manager now, congrats.” Jaehyun turned to him with a small smile, “Thanks.”
Silence filled the air again, only the sound of muffled music can be heard.
“Kumusta ka na?” Tanong muli ni Johnny, kinamusta niya si Jaehyun kanina pero ewan ba niya, pakiramdam niya ay marami pa itong ‘di nasasabi. Papanindigan na niya ang pagiging assuming niya.
“Okay naman, medyo nakahinga ng maayos kasi malayo sa trabaho.” Sagot nito sa kanya, “Ikaw? Kumusta ka?”
“Eto, nakakaraos na.” He honestly answered, Jaehyun turned his head to look at him again, eyes filled with worry. “I left the company I was working with, underpaid e.”
“Oh..” ‘Yon lang ang nasabi ni Jaehyun, of all people, he knows Johnny’s struggle the most back then. Hindi kasi ito suportado ng magulang niya sa pagkuha nito ng film production, malabo raw kasi ang future niya roon, lalo na at wala siyang connection sa industriya na ‘yon. At si Johnny rin ang inaasahan nilang magmamana ng kumpanya nila kaya madalas nila itong ikumpara sa mga pinsan niyang business major graduates at may stable nang trabaho. “Are you working somewhere now?”
Johnny chuckled and shook his head, “I've opened up a business.” Sagot nito, “Just a small studio for photoshoots, may gigs din minsan. Freelancer.”
“Does it pay well?” Johnny nods, “That’s good then.”
“Ikaw? How’s it like to work abroad?” Johnny turned his body towards Jaehyun, completely facing him. The younger could only shrug.
“It’s fine, less toxic than here.” Johnny hummed, urging the latter to continue. “But.. it does get pretty lonely since.. I live alone there.”
Naiintindihan ni Johnny kung saan nagmumula si Jaehyun as he was an orphan, already lose his mother after he was born and his father.. hindi niya ito nakilala dahil sabi nila, bago pa man manganak ang ina niya ay umalis na ito. Ang mga magulang ng kanyang ina ang nagpalaki sa kanya kaya bata pa lamang siya ay achiever na siya, kaya siguro hindi na nagulat si Johnny tuwing naririnig niya workaholic si Jaehyun. He always wanted to pay back his grandparents’ hard work, but before they graduated, he also lost them, just a few months apart from each other. Leaving him no chance to give back to them.
“Is that why you started smoking?” Tanong ni Johnny, the younger smiled bitterly. “Hm.. it really does relax me, somehow.”
All of a sudden, hindi na alam ni Johnny ang sasabihin. Kitang kita sa mata ng nakababata ang kalungkutan, pakiramdam niya ay naninikip ang dibdib niya. Matibay ang loob ni Jaehyun, alam ‘yon ng lahat ng nakapaligid sa kanila, pero hindi nila alam ang pinagdadaanan nito. The younger is working in a country without anyone by his side, kahit pamilya man lang na matatawagan. Alam rin niyang hindi ito mahilig magsabi sa mga kaibigan niya dahil ayaw niyang maging pabigat kung kaya’t ‘di maisip ni Johnny kung paano nakaya ni Jaehyun ‘yon, he’s way stronger than he thought.
Hindi namalayan ni Johnny na nakatitig na pala siya sa binata hanggang sa naramdaman niyang tinatapik nito ang kanyang hita, “Balik na tayo?” Pag-aya nito sa kanya.
“Pwede bang dito muna tayo?”
Tumango na lamang si Jaehyun at humarap sa field, hindi na ito kasing dilim tulad noong nag-aaral pa sila dito dahil may mga poste na ng ilaw sa paligid nito. Gaya ni Johnny, marami ring bagay ang umiikot sa isip ni Jaehyun, ngunit may isang tanong lang talaga na gustong gusto niyang masagot.
May mababalikan pa ba siya?
Wala pang ibang nakakaalam, ilang linggo bago siya magrequest ng vacation leave ay may offer sa kanya ang kumpanya – to manage their branch in this country – pero sinabi niyang pag-iisipan niya muna ito. Maganda ang offer dahil pwede siyang magsettle sa Pilipinas at mas mapapalapit siya sa mga kaibigan, pero kung tutuusin, wala na siyang rason para manatili pa dito. Pwede naman siya magbakasyon dito, pero magsettle? Para saan pa? Maliban na lang kung...
“Jaehyun.” Pagbasag ni Johnny ng katahimikan, “Are you.. are you dating someone now?”
Hindi inaasahan ni Jaehyun ang tanong na ‘yon, are they on the same page? He was hoping they were.
“Huh? I-uh.. no, no. I’m not dating anyone.” Nauutal niyang sagot, “Ikaw.. i mean why?”
Umusog papalapit sa kanya si Johnny at hinawakan ang kamay niya kaya napatingin siya rito.
“Can we try again?”
Walang preno.
Impulsive na kung impulsive pero bahala na, isinantabi na ni Johnny ang lahat ng pagdadalawang isip niya.
“Huh?” Parang tanga, Jaehyun! Pabebe ka?
“Can we try again? Can we give us another chance?” Nakatingin si Johnny sa mga mata ng binata habang hawak ang kamay nito, puno ng pagmamakaawa ang ekspresyon nito.
Jaehyun felt warmth in his heart, he guess he has a reason to come back after all. He removed his hand from Johnny’s grasp and placed his hands on the older’s cheeks, thumb rubbing over it.
“Kaya mo bang maghintay?” Tanong niya, Johnny nodded. “I waited for 7 years, what’s a little more waiting?”
“Let’s give it a try again, then.”
Napangiti naman si Johnny at tumayo tsaka humiyaw hiyaw, si Jaehyun naman ay natawa lamang at agad na inawat ang binata. Agad siyang hinatak nito at niyakap nang mahigpit kung kaya’t hinayaan niya ang sarili na lumambot sa yakap nito. And there he realized..
Being in Johnny’s arms feels like home. That no matter how many people he’ll meet, he knows that Johnny was, is, and will always be his home. His person. His constant. He was his first everything and hopefully, he will also be his last.