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Leaning on the porch rail, Bakugou stares at the stars as the party rages behind the doors separating him and the dorms. He searches for constellations, but can’t seem to find any. Figures.
The hooting and hollering continues in the common room. He’s pretty sure the entirety of Class B showed up. In fact, he’s almost certain he heard Tetsutetsu screaming “LET’S GOOOOO” a few minutes earlier, followed by the sound of cheering. Whatever. He doesn’t want to be there anyway.
For a moment, the noises get exponentially louder, but are suddenly muffled again with a loud click. Bakugou turns to see Midoriya shutting the door. Fucking Deku. He rolls his eyes and hunches in on himself more as he leans deeper onto the porch rail.
“Go back to the party, Deku. I’m sure they’re all missing your skinny ass.” Bakugou tries to put some bite into the words, but he knows he just sounds tired.
“No, it’s okay,” Midoriya says, leaning on the rail next to Bakugou. “I needed some air anyway.” Bakugou glances at the boy and Midoriya’s right. He does need some air. Even in just the moonlight, Bakugou can tell the other boy’s cheeks are definitely pinker than usual. Bakugou scoffs a bit. As much as he wants to say that Deku never really could hold his alcohol, that’d be a lie.
At every party Bakugou’s seen Midoriya at, he has never seen the boy drunk off his ass. He has seen almost everyone else drunk off their ass, though. At a party earlier that year, Kaminari, Ashido, Kirishima, Sero, and Jirou got hammered on the roof and he had to help them all get down without any life-threatening injuries. Hell, he’s even seen Iida stumbling around after one too many shots, but never Midoriya. The green-haired boy controlled himself, never going farther than just being a little tipsy.
“Whatever,” Bakugou grunts.
“You should go in,” Midoriya prods. “They all miss you in there. Kirishima and Kaminari were going on and on about how much fun it’d be to play pong with you.” Bakugou doesn’t respond. He’s still staring at the sky, trying to find a familiar shape in the stars.
“Kacchan.” It’s not a question. It’s a command of attention. Reluctantly, Bakugou looks at him. “Come in.” Midoriya’s eyes are kind and it makes him want to vomit. Bakugou tears his eyes away from those giant green disks.
“No,” he says finitely. “Go back in. Leave me alone before I break your arm.” Again, the venom won’t quite reach his words. They sound like empty threats. Midoriya tries to catch his eye one last time but fails. The blond stares resolutely out to the stars. Midoriya shakes his head and reluctantly heads back towards the door.
“You assholes should just be thankful I got out of bed today,” Bakugou mumbles when he’s certain the other boy is out of ear-shot.
“What?” Fuck. Guess Deku was closer than he thought.
“Nothing,” Bakugou spits at him. There’s the harshness he lost. Deku’s coming towards him, shaking his head.
“No, Kacchan. What did you say?” There’s clear worry in his voice. Fuck, this is exactly what he wanted to avoid. He tries to reach for Bakugou’s shoulder but the blond smacks his hand away.
“Piss off, Deku. You didn’t hear anything. It’s not your fucking business.”
“Which is it? I didn’t hear anything? Or it’s not my business?” Fuck this smartass.
“Just go back and enjoy the fucking party, asshole.” Bakugou stares back at the stars, wishing he could float away into them.
“Is it getting worse?” Deku asks, eyes wide.
“Fuck off-”
“Cause if it’s getting worse, you need to tell someone,”
“Don’t fucking-”
“You need to tell your therapist or your parents or a teacher or someone,”
“It’s not your fucking prob-”
“Cause you can’t keeping forcing yourself through this,”
“Stop!” Bakugou grabs Deku’s shoulders, shaking him. “Fucking stop, asshole. This doesn’t concern you. I can take care of my own shit. Why do you even care?”
“I care because I care about you!” Midoriya yanks free of Bakugou's grasp.
“Fucking why?” Bakugou roars.
“I don’t know!” Midoriya screams back, just as loud. The two stand there breathless for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes.
“You don’t need to care.” Bakugou’s words come out strangled.
“I know,” Midoriya sighs. He walks over to the stairs and plops himself down on one. Tiredly, Bakugou follows and sits next to him.
“We don’t need to be friends,” Bakugou says, his voice barely above a whisper. “We can just let this shit go.” Midoriya sighs again, running his hands through his hair.
“Then why didn’t we, like, two years ago. We could have just been done with each other.” Bakugou scoffed.
“You let me in on your stupid fucking secret. That’s why we couldn’t.”
“Shut up, you wanted to know.” They sit in silence for a few moments, both staring at the stars.
“Do you ever get scared? About your… you know,” Midoriya asks. Bakugou rolls his eyes.
“Shut the fuck up, what kind of question is that?” They sit in more silence.
“I do,” Midoriya says, cutting the silence again. “Get scared, I mean.”
“Why do my mental health problems scare you, dumbass?”
“I get scared every time I get a call from your mom, asking how you’re doing because you haven’t called her in a month. I get scared every time Kirishima comes up to me and tells me what’s going on with you. I get scared every time you’re not in class on time,” Midoriya says, rubbing his eyes.
“Why the fuck is my mom calling you? Why is Kirishima telling you my shit?” Bakugou asks, not really expecting an answer. He gets one anyway.
“Because we have history. They all expect us to work this shit out and become friends.” Bakugou rests his head in his hands.
“They tell me about you too. Iida and Uraraka, I mean. When you’re not sleeping or not eating or whatever.” Midoriya looks at the blond boy, whose head is still buried in his hands.
“Then why are you surprised they tell me about you?”
“I expected them to give up by this point.”
“You need to stop acting like there’s no one in your corner rooting for you. People care. I care.”
“I care, too. About you.” They stare at each other for a minute, searching for answers in each other’s faces. They find none. Finally, Midoriya stands up, dusting off his shorts.
“I’m going back in. You coming?” He offers his hand to Bakugou, who stares at it. The blond’s thoughts are so loud Midoriya swears he can hear them. Coming to a decision, Bakugou grasps the shorter boy’s hand and allows himself to be hauled up to his feet. They go back into the house.
Things are not resolved. But, somehow, they are better.