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Modern XiCheng AU where the WangXian couple decided to go to an amusement park and invited Jiang Cheng along. Oh no.

Jiang Cheng stood beside a welcome sign with a permanent scowl on his face.

"I hate you, Wei Wuxian."

He had been coerced by Wei Wuxian to go to the amusement park that day.

When he had bought a ticket for the two of them, only then did Wei Wuxian mention that Lan Xichen was coming along as well, all because they couldn't bear to leave Lan Xichen home alone while they go on a date.

"It's not a double date, I swear. Just think of it as hanging out with friends!"

"I've not been friends with Lan Xichen for many years, Wei Wuxian!" Jiang Cheng hissed.

"Hmm, true. Instead of friends, it should be 'The Guy I Have A Crush On Since I Learned How To Play With Myself'," Wei Wuxian chuckled.

Very few people knew about Jiang Cheng's crush on Lan Xichen, older brother to Lan Wangji.

When they first met many years back during their parents reunion, he helped Jiang Cheng with his schoolwork and Jiang Cheng fell for him hard and fast.

Since Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji decided (demanded) to be with each other for all of eternity (stupid), their families decided that they could do a monthly gathering to catch up on one another.

And that's how they ended up having to meet each other every month.

It was considered to be puppy love. He was fourteen, Lan Xichen was eighteen. Jiang Cheng was a nerdy sass-quatch while Lan Xichen was everyone's wet and wildest dream come true.

He was polite, funny, had a sense of humor, a natural worrier and a voice that could melt butter.

Combined with that body and those hands, Jiang Cheng had trouble keeping 'Xiao Di' down sometimes.

Lan Xichen would always come over with Lan Wangji to their house whenever he had time and just spent the day lounging with both Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng.

They would joke around, Jiang Cheng would sass and snark at Wei Wuxian whenever he got to be a bit too much and Lan Xichen would always laugh at his antics.

Whenever Jiang Cheng had school homework or projects to be done, Lan Xichen would help him out and tutor him through it, giving encouraging words and friendly pats whenever Jiang Cheng did something good.

They would sit side by side at the table. Jiang Cheng would always feel fuzzy and dizzy after smelling Lan Xichen's cologne. It was not too strong, very smooth and soft. Just like Lan Xichen himself.

Jiang Cheng would blush whenever he finds himself zoning out from smelling that cologne.

He'd seen Lan Xichen be with other people, both men and women. Jiang Cheng knew of only two people that Lan Xichen had a relationship with.

The woman Lan Xichen had dated was petite and pretty but she was as dumb as a doorknob.

There were times where Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian would try to play pranks on her, and was surprised when Lan Wangji would join in to try and get rid of her.

"She does not deserve him," He had said.

Jiang Cheng didn't remember how long their relationship lasted but all he remembered was Lan Xichen turning up with someone new to one of their family monthly gatherings.

That someone was Jin Guangyao.

Jin Guangyao irked Jiang Cheng a lot. He was always smiling, always helpful, always cheerful. Jiang Cheng hated it.

Lan Xichen was always smiling back, giving him soft touches, loving looks when they thought Jiang Cheng wasn't looking and it really sucked.

And when they kissed, that's when Jiang Cheng experienced his first heartbreak.

It was considered to be puppy love. Or was it? He didn't experience this kind of feeling before with the woman that Lan Xichen had dated but this? This was…

Painful.

Maybe it's because Jiang Cheng had thought that Lan Xichen would have never fallen for a man, let alone a boy like him. Maybe it's because Lan Xichen hadn't looked like that when he was with the woman, all fuzzy and doe eyed.

Maybe it's because he really liked Lan Xichen a lot.

At eighteen, Jiang Cheng asked for his parents permission to pursue his studies elsewhere after that day.

Somewhere far. Somewhere he could hide and not watch Lan Xichen be in love with someone else.

Someone that was not him.

It was selfish and stupid. But people do stupid things when feeling's involved.

Years passed by, once in a few months, Jiang Cheng would come back home to meet with his parents.

He would stay for a few days, hang out with Wei Wuxian, eat the food that his sister made, and leave before the Lan-Jiang gatherings occurred.

He wasn't running away. He really wasn't. It's just that he doesn't feel strong enough to see Lan Xichen anytime soon.

Everytime Wei Wuxian would talk about Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao's name would crop up.

How he and Lan Da are still seen together, how they would meet up at cafes and sometimes end up staying the night over at each other's house.

Everytime Wei Wuxian would talk about it, Jiang Cheng would feel his chest tightening up, leaving a sour taste in his mouth.

Why was he affected so badly? It was considered to be puppy love. Was it just a simple crush? How did it turn out to be like this?

He decided to not pay attention to any of that and threw himself into his studies and work. He would go to the gym and work out but nothing ever extreme.

Months passed by and he developed a lean body and grew a little taller by then. Many people were interested in him but according to one of his friends, his permanent scowling face turned them away.

One of the times he went back home for his 22nd birthday, it was the gathering week. Jiang Cheng spent his days worrying and on the edge, trying to make his visit short and simple.

The day he left, his parents had grumbled a lot but he ignored most of them, promising to come back soon after.

He had driven off in his rental car for about ten minutes when he received a text message saying that he had left behind his passport and boarding ticket on the kitchen counter.

That was odd. He remembered having it in his bag before he left the house. He sighed before turning back to the house.

When he reached home, he noticed three extra pairs of shoes in the foyer and his heart started beating hard. He swallowed his fear back and just continued on.

He entered the dining and kitchen area without even bothering to look around. He saw Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji lounging by the kitchen counter. More like Wei Wuxian lounging on top of Lan Wangji, by the kitchen counter.

In the corner of his eye, he could see two other people sitting by the window. He can recognise Lan Xichen's shape anywhere.

"You are so clumsy, Jiang Cheng. How could you forget your passport and boarding pass at home?" Wei Wuxian tutted under his breath as he held out the passport and boarding pass to him.

Jiang Cheng heard a slight gasp coming from the table by the window. It took everything in him to ignore that gasp and march up to Wei Wuxian in faux anger.

"It's your fault, isn't it?" Jiang Cheng took the items and smacked Wei Wuxian on the arm, "I distinctly remember I had it in my bag and you just had to play this prank on me. What if I'm late and lose my flight?"

"You're not late. You're like three hours early till the flight leaves anyway." Wei Wuxian chuckled.

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and turned to walk away, promptly ignoring everyone else. "You're a piece of shit. I'm leaving."

"Don't I get a goodbye at least?" Wei Wuxian yelled at him.

"No." Jiang Cheng deadpanned as he walked away to the foyer to put his shoes on. He could feel himself sweating on every part of his body. How is it that even something simple like a gasp could affect him so badly?

"Move on, Jiang Wanyin. You should move on. This is getting to be unhealthy." He sighed to himself.

Jiang Cheng hurried back to his rental and drove off almost immediately.

The day he graduated, his parents flew down to celebrate his graduation with him. Wei Wuxian and A-jie couldn't come along with them and they stayed behind. Jiang Cheng decided to do a video call instead.

"A-Cheng, I'm so happy for you." A-jie said with a beautiful smile.

"Congratulations younger brother! I'm so proud of you! See, I knew you were a genius. I kept telling everyone about how clever you are. Right, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian rambled.

"Mn, clever. Wei Ying is clever." A voice said off screen.

Jiang Cheng felt like reaching into the screen and just shook both of them for their idiocy.

"Thanks, Lan Er Gongzi." He deadpanned.

"Haha! Lan Zhan is so cute. Anyways, when are you coming back? You are coming back right?" Wei Wuxian asked.

Jiang Cheng stopped to think about it. If he returned, then he would see Lan Xichen again.

Wei Wuxian stopped giving him updates on Lan Xichen for quite some time so he has no idea what's been going on with him and his… partner.

"A-Cheng? Are you worried about…" A-jie trailed off.

Jiang Cheng blinked his eyes a couple of times before shaking his head. "No."

"You don't have to worry, A-Cheng." A-jie piped up, "Just come back home, please? We've missed you a lot."

"We do. Someone here misses you a lot, you know?" Wei Wuxian said with a glint.

"Too bad. You just have to wait until I come back after the vacation days." Jiang Cheng said while pointing a finger at Wei Wuxian.

When Jiang Cheng came back, he threw himself into looking for a job and an apartment. Peacock and A-jie had a baby and they're using his room as their cot room, so he couldn't really be an ass about that.

Unless it's Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, he'll definitely throw them out of his room in an instant.

There were times when he would hear Lan Xichen's voice drifting through the house and he would freeze in both fear and excitement. To hear his silken voice again… Jiang Cheng shook out of his reverie and ultimately made his escape once again.

This continued on for many months. Jiang Cheng visited his parents' place, hanging out with his baby nephew, banter with Wei Wuxian, ate some good food and escaping before Lan Xichen could even make an appearance.

That is, until today.

"I hate you so much, Wei Wuxian." Jiang Cheng grumbled with his arms crossed in front of him.

"I'm sorry! Really! Truly! But Lan Zhan saw how miserable his brother was at home, all alone and thought it'd be better if he followed us instead."

"Why was he miserable? His beloved boyfriend couldn't come and visit or what?" Jiang Cheng mumbled while scuffing the toe of his shoe on the ground.

Wei Wuxian made a face. "You could say that. His so-called 'boyfriend' wouldn't even see him let alone talk to him for the past few months."

At that, Jiang Cheng frowned. "Why not?"

"I don't know. You tell me." Wei Wuxian deadpanned.

Before Jiang Cheng could retort back at Wei Wuxian about what's that supposed to mean, he heard the familiar voice of Lan Wangji calling out for them.

He froze. Then he mentally shook himself. What the hell is wrong with him? It's been years, snap out of it! If he wants to move on with his life, now would be a good start to do so.

"Lan Zhan! Xichen-xiong! You guys are finally here!" Wei Wuxian made a big deal out of it by waving his arms around.

"Mn. We're here." Lan Wangji regarded Jiang Cheng with a slight nod, "Hello Jiang Wanyin."

"Oh, Lan Wangji. Yo." Jiang Cheng acknowledged the guy.

Jiang Cheng took in a deep breath, bracing himself before turning to meet the other Lan that has been the bane of his sanity.

He did not expect having to look up into the eyes of Lan Xichen, who stood a few metres away from him with a serene smile on his face. They used to be of the same height but apparently, someone has been eating their vegetables and it's not Jiang Cheng.

"Wanyin." Lan Xichen called out with a smile. "Finally." He said reverently.

"Oh," Jiang Cheng blinked, "Yo. It's been a while, huh? Long time no see."

"Too long. Years actually." Lan Xichen replied, still smiling at Jiang Cheng. "You look very…" Lan Xichen struggled for a while, "... nice."

Jiang Cheng blinked again. He was wearing black jeans with an indigo knit sweater on top of a white shirt. Nice? That's it? "Thanks."

Jiang Cheng kept looking around slowly, noting all the promising exit strategies he could take if it gets too much for him.

"How have you been?" Xichen asked.

"Hmm? Me?" Jiang Cheng clears his throat, "Good. Been good."

"Only good?"

"Well, what else did you expect me to be? Miserable?" Jiang Cheng huffs.

He had been trying to avoid looking at the man in front of him, which was why he missed the forlorn look on Lan Xichen's face.

"Ah whatever," Wei Wuxian chimed in, "Listen. We should go on all the rides here today, okay? I heard that the park will close and move to a new area by the end of this week so this is the only time we can experience the rides."

"Wei Wuxian, are you a child? Amongst all the other places you could go to, you chose an amusement park."

"Yes, I am a child. Xian xian is three years old, okay?" Wei Wuxian pouted.

"Then you are not of legal age to ride any of the rides in this park." Jiang Cheng retorted with a smirk.

"You—"

"Wangji, which ride would you like to go on?" Lan Xichen asked his brother.

Lan Wangji took a good look around before pointing to the largest, highest roller coaster ride that was available. "That one."

"Wow, Lan Zhan, aim high indeed. Why that one?" Wei Wuxian asked.

"It looks fun." Lan Wangji said with a blank look on his face.

Jiang Cheng stared at him like a weirdo. "You sure have a funny way of expressing yourself."

"It's all in the eyes, Jiang Cheng. Anyways! Let's go!"

Jiang Cheng blanched, "Go where?" He asked.

"There of course! To the rollercoaster!" Wei Wuxian beamed before pulling on Lan Wangji's hand and running away.

Jiang Cheng took a look at the ride and gulped.

"Are you okay?"

Jiang Cheng flinched away before clearing his throat. "Yes, of course I'm okay. What made you say that? That's ridiculous! I'm not afraid of the rollercoaster. Who said I was afraid of it? Pah!"

Lan Xichen blinked. "I… didn't say anything."

There was a pause.

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Ah… okay. Um. What are we still standing here for!? We're burning daylight! Let's go." Jiang Cheng briskly walked away.

He can do this. He's Jiang Cheng. He's going to be okay.

He is not okay.

Being strapped into his seat, Jiang Cheng's knees started bobbing up and down as he struggled to keep himself in check.

They were seated at the front where they could see everything. It was Wei Wuxian's bright idea to do so and Lan Wangji agreed to it.

The thing is… Jiang Cheng is afraid of heights. Actually, he's okay with heights. He can ride the plane easily as long as he is in the aisle seat. He can go up a building and walk along the corridors without looking down.

But this…

Front seat view. Of the ground.

He's dead.

Wei Wuxian made Jiang Cheng the first to sit down. He then pushed Lan Xichen to sit beside him and then Lan Wangji while he took the last seat.

So now, Jiang Cheng not only has the frontal view of the ground, if he turned his head to the side, he had the full view of the ground.

Yay.

Death.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lan Xichen asked once again when he saw Jiang Cheng's knees doing the macarena.

"Hmm? What? Me? Yeah. Fine." Jiang Cheng blinked as more people got onto the coaster.

"Are you still afraid of heights?" Lan Xichen asked.

Jiang Cheng swiftly turned to look at Lan Xichen and realized that the only one who knew of his fear of heights was Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen had once brought Jiang Cheng up a very steep hill for some cool air and had to climb back down with Jiang Cheng piggybacking him when he froze in fear trying to climb down the stairs.

Jiang Cheng's wide eyes bore into Lan Xichen's worried gaze. He nodded.

Lan Xichen took in a deep breath and started to look around. "Do you want to get off? I can call for someone to—"

"No, it's fine. It's… eve—everyone's on the ride. Would be a has—hassle if I were to get off. And then they'd have to fins som—someone to take over my place." Jiang Cheng stammered.

Just then, the coaster hissed and started moving forward. Jiang Cheng gripped on his seatbars tight.

"Don't look down, okay?"

"Tch, easier said than done." Jiang Cheng grumbled with his eyes squeezed tight. The coaster rattled as it slowly ascended the tracks.

He was startled out of his mind when a hand reached over and took his own hand into a tight, warm grip. Looking down, he realized that it was Lan Xichen's hand.

"Squeeze my hand, focus on it." Lan Xichen said as the ride reached the top and stopped.

"Focus on my hand. Close your eyes."

"Don't think about anything else but my hand."

"You're doing great."

"You're doing great, Jiang Cheng!"

Jiang Cheng remembered the praises Lan Xichen gave him when he was young. It sounded exactly like what he's doing right now.

Even after all these years, he would still praise him for something small.

Jiang Cheng missed him. He missed him a lot.

Jiang Cheng gripped on to the hand as a wave of sadness washed over him.

"It'll be fine. You'll be fine. I am here, okay? I'll always be here." Lan Xichen's softly said.

"Liar." Jiang Cheng mumbled.

Before Lan Xichen could even ask, the coaster suddenly dips forward, and with a whoosh! The coaster fell 60 metres down, accompanied by the screams and shouts of so many.

Jiang Cheng accidentally grabbed both the handlebars and Lan Xichen's hand so tightly that he swore something broke.

"I HATE YOU WEI WUXIAN!!!"

—————————

"Why didn't you say anything before we got on the ride?"

Once the ride had stopped, Jiang Cheng quickly scrambled over everyone else and wobbled his way all the way down towards the exit area. He slumped over a bench and continued to dry heave as the tears ran down his cheeks.

Lan Xichen quickly rushed over to pat him on the back with the other two not far behind him.

"I thought I had it… I—" Jiang Cheng heaved again, "Ah man, never do that again. I hate you… you… all of you."

Lan Xichen was taken aback by that.

"Are you going to be okay for all the other rides?" Wei Wuxian asked, "Or would you rather go home instead?"

Jiang Cheng wobbled on shaky legs as he tried to stand up, like a baby deer learning how to walk. Lan Xichen had to admit.

That was cute.

Jiang Cheng gave a glance at Wei Wuxian and, curiously, at Lan Xichen before turning back to Wei Wuxian. "I'll go home. I'm not exactly the right person to be here anyways."

"Maybe get Jin Guangyao to come over instead of me. I'll go." Jiang Cheng turned to leave.

"Wait." Lan Xichen reached out to grab onto Jiang Cheng's wrist, preventing him from leaving.

Jiang Cheng stopped to give Lan Xichen an incredulous look as he switched back and forth from glaring at Lan Xichen to the hand that was on his wrist.

Lan Xichen gave Jiang Cheng a determined look before turning back to the other two.

"Wangji, Wei-gongzi, why don't you go and have your date while I stay with Jiang Cheng to make sure he doesn't faint or anything. I'll get him some food to eat before going home." Lan Xichen smiled.

"Are you sure, Xichen-xiong?" Wei Wuxian asked worriedly, "We can stay here and accompany you—"

Lan Wangji nodded in agreement. Lan Xichen chuckled.

"It's fine, you guys can go ahead. I have something to ask of Jiang Cheng anyways." Lan Xichen's lofty gaze landed on Jiang Cheng.

Wei Wuxian caught on to what Lan Xichen was saying. "Oh, uh hahaha okay! If that's the case then," He took Lan Zhan's arm and dragged him to the other side of the park, "Lan Zhan! Let's go this way!"

"Hey!" Jiang Cheng yelled, "Where are you going?! Wei Wuxian!"

Lan Xichen stared at Jiang Cheng with a frown. "Jiang Cheng."

Jiang Cheng blanched and avoided his gaze. "What."

Lan Xichen sighed softly. "We need to talk."

"What talk. We don't have to talk. There's nothing to talk about—"

"Jiang Cheng." Lan Xichen's firm tone stopped Jiang Cheng's tirade immediately.

Jiang Cheng swallowed dryly as he began to panic internally. What does Lan Xichen want? Why wouldn't he let him go? He blinked multiple times trying to stop himself from tearing up, which Lan Xichen noticed with a heavy heart.

"Let's go get you something sweet to eat before you leave." The older man sighed once more before taking Jiang Cheng's hand in his own and walked on, ignoring Jiang Cheng's attempt to escape.

Both Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng sat on a picnic bench by some food trucks with their table half covered by some snacks and desserts.

Lan Xichen was staring at Jiang Cheng with his arms crossed in front of him while Jiang Cheng was doing a good job of ignoring Lan Xichen for his snowcone.

He mushed his lips into his blueberry snowcone and sucked the ice and juice away while looking around the area.

Ah, the exit is right there. If only he could just distract the man—

Lan Xichen heaved out a heavy sigh which caused Jiang Cheng to flinch and feel guilty for nothing.

"Tell me what's wrong." Lan Xichen finally said.

"Nothing's wrong." Jiang Cheng replied.

Lan Xichen closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before slowly letting it out again.

"Fine," Lan Xichen uncrossed his arms and leaned forward instead, "I'm going to ask a few more questions. Hopefully, you'll answer it properly this time."

Jiang Cheng frowned. "Why should I?"

"Because I have questions that only you have the answer to." Lan Xichen's face was devoid of any smile, which scared Jiang Cheng.

He's never seen Lan Xichen without a smile.

Jiang Cheng shrugged before turning away, still sucking on his snowcone.

"Back then, Why did you leave?"

"For studies, duh?"

"Why were you avoiding us when you came back for the holidays?"

"I wasn't avoiding you guys. It was just a coincidence that we didn't meet."

"Are you angry at me?"

That was an understatement.

"Tch, no? Why would I be angry at you?"

"Then why are you avoiding me?" Lan Xichen asked sadly. "What did I do to make you hate me so much that you're doing everything you can to avoid being in the same room with me, let alone the same house."

Jiang Cheng paid special attention to his snow cone. His snow cone was devoid of any colors since he had sucked the juices out of them and was just melted ice by now.

"You didn't even say goodbye to me back then. When I heard you were coming back for the holidays, I was thrilled. I thought we could meet up again and hang out like before but then when I came by, your parents said you were already gone."

"The next time you came back, I went over to see you again but then you were not there. And it keeps repeating again and again, every time I try to see you, you were not there." Lan Xichen's voice cracked a little.

"When you made video calls back home, that was the only time when I could hear your voice. The only time I could listen to you talk and not disappear on me."

"Whenever I try to get you to talk to me, someone from your family stops me from doing so. Something about giving him time to settle down and prepare himself for things which I don't get."

"I don't understand, Jiang Cheng. Why are you so mean to me? What did I do wrong? I thought we were close and yet…" Lan Xichen stopped talking to calm himself down.

"Why do you hate me so much? Tell me, please. I need to know why." Lan Xichen begged pitifully.

"I don't hate you." Jiang Cheng mumbled.

"What? What was that?" Lan Xichen leaned in closer.

"I said I don't hate you." Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.

"Then…" the expression on Lan Xichen's face would have been comical if they weren't in such a serious situation.

"What… I don't get it. What's wrong? What—" He placed a hand on the side of his temple and closed his eyes. "Jiang Cheng… explain to me why then. I'm confused, you know that? I'm confused as hell. One moment we were good, the next you avoided me like a plague."

"I kept trying to remember if I had done something wrong towards you, said something rude or anything… anything at all but I couldn't even think up of anything that I may have done to garner such atten—"

"Shut up, shut up," Jiang Cheng interrupted, "Just… shut up. Okay?"

Lan Xichen stopped talking, hurt glimmered in his eyes.

Jiang Cheng sighed before tossing his snow cone into a nearby trash can. He then crossed his arms and stared blatantly at Lan Xichen.

"It's nothing to worry about, alright? It's just… something I'm going through." He lied, "I just need to move along and it'll be fine. It's not you, okay? It's… me." Seriously, he's using that line now?

Even Lan Xichen thought that it was something ridiculous coming from Jiang Cheng.

"Jiang Cheng, please…"

"I'm going to go home. It's obvious that I'm the wrong choice of person to be with today. Go call Jin Guangyao or something and ask them to accompany you instead."

Jiang Cheng stood up from the bench to walk away when Lan Xichen suddenly grabbed onto his wrist once more.

"Lan Xichen, seriously stop it—" Jiang Cheng was about to berate Lan Xichen for the unnecessary use of force towards him when he saw his expression.

Lan Xichen was fuming. He was literally shaking. His eyes were red from either anger or unshed tears and it was obvious that he was gritting his teeth. He was angry.

He's never angry.

He was always smiling, happy, cheerful.

But this… this was new.

"Lan… Xichen?"

Lan Xichen got up from the bench and dragged a reluctant Jiang Cheng across the park floor.

"Lan Xichen! What's the meaning of this?"

Lan Xichen ignored him, his harsh breath and half crazed eyes scared off a few passerbys even. When Jiang Cheng saw where Lan Xichen was heading towards, he panicked.

It was a ferris wheel.

A huge ferris wheel.

"Lan Xichen! Stop!"

"Hello, for 2 persons please and no one else." Lan Xichen told the attendant and handed him fifty bucks, who nodded knowingly.

He let the two of them go into the booth and shut the door behind them. Lan Xichen pushed Jiang Cheng into the seat and took his own seat on the opposite side.

"Lan Xichen! Are you nuts?!" Jiang Cheng got up from his seat and was about to open the door to the booth when a leg slammed on to the chair beside him.

"Sit. Down." Lan Xichen growled between gritted teeth, his body shaking with controlled anger.

Jiang Cheng's eyes widened in return because one, Lan Xichen, had never gotten so angry that he growled with gritted teeth.

Two… It was hot. Honestly, that was spank bank material right there.

SNAP OUT OF IT, JIANG CHENG.

"I gave you… so many chances… and you just…" Lan Xichen growled again before turning to look out the window, forcing himself to calm down with deep, unsteady breaths.

The booth started to move slowly, startling Jiang Cheng out of his reverie. He saw that he was close to the window and beyond it, the ground was moving further away, so he scooted closer to the middle of the booth, knocking himself against Lan Xichen's leg.

Lan Xichen ignored it, leaving his feet up on the seat against Jiang Cheng's body, barricading him inside.

Minutes passed by. No one said a thing.

Jiang Cheng thought that maybe this was it. This was how he could move on. Lan Xichen rarely ever gets angry at anyone but he, Jiang Cheng, had done something that no one else has ever done before… and that was to make Lan Xichen angry.

Jiang Cheng tilted his head down, feeling sad and lonely at that moment of time.

"I missed you." The voice said so softly that the other swore it was the wind blowing.

"What?"

"I missed you. I missed you a lot." Lan Xichen said while still looking out the window. His feet still at an angle beside Jiang Cheng's hips while he leaned back into his own seat, he looked dejected, forlorned. Like someone took his favourite animal and made it into stew.

"When you left, you didn't even say anything. You just left. I thought maybe you forgot." Lan Xichen's voice was so soft, you'd think he wasn't brimming with anger not too long ago.

"When I heard that you left because of your studies, I thought ah… maybe he left in a hurry, so it's okay. Maybe he forgot to say goodbye."

"When I heard from Wangji that you'd return for the holidays, I was excited beyond anything. I thought that maybe we could hang out again. I thought of the things we could talk about. I thought of the places we could go."

"But when I went there, you were gone. You had left once again. And I thought… did he really forget to say goodbye to me… or did he…"

"When you came back for your birthdays, I went over there to give you your presents, but you weren't there. When you came back for a random holiday, I went over to celebrate it with your family…"

"But you weren't there."

"Everytime I'd go over to try and meet up with you and you weren't there. I tried and tried over and over again and you weren't there. You were always somewhere else."

"And I thought… Was he ignoring me? Is he avoiding me? But why?"

"For many years, Jiang Cheng, all I had to go on was your voice. Every time you'd do a video call to your family and all I could get was listening to your voice."

"Every time I try to catch a glimpse of you, your family members would pull the phone away and not let me see you. Not let me take one glimpse of you, not even a little bit."

"And I accepted it. I thought that, it's fine. At least I can get to hear Wanyin's voice after all these time, it's enough for me."

Jiang Cheng was startled at the name Lan Xichen used to call him by. It has been years since he's called him that.

By this time, the ride was already at its halfway point. It paused for a moment before it moved again.

"To ease the hurt from missing you, your voice was enough for me."

"Until I saw you that one time." Lan Xichen's heavy gaze shifted from the window to Jiang Cheng.

"You came to take your passport. And I saw you."

"And I just…"

"I wanted to hug you. I wanted to yell out your name. I wanted to just get up and shake you by the shoulders, wanting answers and all that. I wanted to do so many things but I couldn't. I couldn't."

"Because you left. Again." Lan Xichen's gaze bore into Jiang Cheng, causing him to look away in discomfort.

"You didn't say goodbye. And I knew by that time that it was deliberately done. I knew you saw me sitting there, waiting for you to acknowledge me and yet… You did not forget. You just didn't want to."

Lan Xichen turned away to look out the window.

"You hate me. And I have no idea why. And now when I have the chance to ask you why, you give me bullshit answers instead."

Jiang Cheng was really taken aback by Lan Xichen's choice of words. Who is this guy? What happened to him?

All Jiang Cheng could see was a man who was spread open with one of his legs on the seat, the other on the floor and yet, seemed so curled up into himself, as if he was hiding.

This sloppy look of his was not what Jiang Cheng was used to seeing. This was someone new.

The ride came to an end. The attendant stood outside the door, peering in.

Lan Xichen raised a finger lazily and made a circle, to which the attendant nodded and left. A few moments later, the booth was on it's way up again.

"I saw you kiss him."

Lan Xichen glanced over loftily. "Who?"

"Your boyfriend." Jiang Cheng looked down at his fingers, fiddling with his thumb. "Your Jin Guangyao."

"My family knew of my… unhealthy crush towards you for quite some time. I mean, you were always nice to me, you gave me praises, you were the only one who seemed to enjoy hanging out with me."

"And I liked that. I like you."

"When you got yourself a girlfriend, I thought that ah, of course. He's as straight as any good looking person could be and that there was no chance for me at all. And I accepted that."

"But then Jin Guangyao came along and I figured maybe… just maybe… I may have a chance. Maybe it was just a fling and nothing more."

"When I saw you kiss him, somehow, I just felt like my heart was… breaking or something. You kissed him and then you guys laughed. You looked so happy."

"And it hurts. It hurt so bad that I couldn't take it. And I thought that this is wrong. I shouldn't be feeling like this to someone that is in a relationship. A good, healthy relationship."

"And so I left."

"I thought maybe I could handle being away from you. Forget about you and such. But… fate is a funny thing."

"They say time will help make you forget and heal but time and time again, I kept almost bumping into you. Yes, I was avoiding you. Because I couldn't bear to see you and Jin Guangyao be a couple in front of me."

"I was jealous. I wanted what Jin Guangyao had. I wanted you so bad that it frightened me. And so I left. I couldn't stay because I'm not strong enough to see that."

"Everytime I hear your voice in the house, my heart beats fast. Everytime I knew that you were so close to me, I panicked. I told myself to move on and forget about you but I couldn't."

"I tried going out on dates but it didn't work." Jiang Cheng missed the frown on the other man's face. "I tried to go out with other men and it was a disaster."

Jiang Cheng raised his head up to look at Lan Xichen and almost immediately looked away. The man was oozing with lazy confidence so sexual, Jiang Cheng had to chant a mantra in his head to distract himself.

"They don't understand me at all. They didn't get my sarcasm, they thought I was weird, they labelled me as difficult to go out on a date with… and I believed that."

"I thought that was why Lan Xichen never took an interest in me. I was a difficult person to be with."

The ride was at it's halfway point. Jiang Cheng took a moment to look out the window and saw the half waning moon up in the sky. The booth then proceeded onwards after that.

"I tried to forget about you. I really did. I tried to ignore you so that I wouldn't do anything stupid. Yes, I was avoiding you. I had to."

"Every time I called to ask about you, I was told that you were with Jin Guangyao. I figured that you guys were still strong together."

"I keep telling myself to move on. To let you go. To forget about you. I keep telling myself that but no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I just can't do it. I couldn't do it."

"And then I realize that maybe the reason why I couldn't do it is because it's something more than a crush. After all these years, it's not a simple crush anymore."

"It's love."

"I'm in love with you and I just can't forget about you. I can't move on at all."

"But it's not fair to you at all. Me being in love with you. It's unrequited love, I know, it's why I'm trying my best to forget about you and leave you be. You don't have to do anything, you don't have to worry about it. I'll do this on my own and it'll be—"

It was sudden. The movement was so sudden. Lan Xichen had moved so quickly, Jiang Cheng had little time to react.

Jiang Cheng's eyes widened in shock when he felt Lan Xichen's hands gripped the back of his neck and head and pulled him in for a kiss.

Lan Xichen had knelt in front of him, moving his lips so sensually against Jiang Cheng's frozen ones, sucking and teasing it on his own. He nipped and laved on it, whining when Jiang Cheng didn't respond accordingly to his.

His lips still had the taste of his blueberry snowcone and Lan Xichen loved it.

Lan Xichen pulled back a little. He used his thumb to pull Jiang Cheng's lower lips down a smidge before diving in for a french kiss with tongue, impatiently. Breathing slightly harsher through his nose, Lan Xichen was kissing Jiang Cheng like a man out of water.

Jiang Cheng snapped out of his dazed state of mind when Lan Xichen's tongue snaked into his own mouth to wind against his tongue, and he responded with the exact same gusto.

After a few moments of making out, Jiang Cheng realized what he was doing and promptly tried to push Lan Xichen away.

"Lan Xichen, we can't do this. This is wrong. Jin Guangyao—"

"Who said that it was unrequited?"

Jiang Cheng stopped pushing to stare at Lan Xichen's face.

Lan Xichen, who was smiling beautifully at him.

There was a knock on the window that startled the both of them. It was the attendant, smiling politely at them.

"Another round?" He asked.

Lan Xichen stood up and took Jiang Cheng's hands into his own, shaking his head at the attendant. The door opened and they stepped out.

"That is all, thank you." Lan Xichen said before walking off with Jiang Cheng in tow.

"You're welcome," The attendant said before peering into the booth. After a quick check, he turned to wave at the two of them. "And thank you for not making a mess here! Heaven knows enough how much sex juice a man has to clean up in a week because of horny folks."

Lan Xichen walked on with a purpose while Jiang Cheng followed a step behind. Lan Xichen held Jiang Cheng's hands in his own tight grip as he tried to look for a place where they could talk. He found one and directed Jiang Cheng to it.

"Let's sit here." Lan Xichen said before settling down on the bench. Jiang Cheng slowly sat down beside Lan Xichen and waited. Lan Xichen swung his legs over the bench and sat cross legged, facing Jiang Cheng. He took hold of one of Jiang Cheng's hands and began playing with it.

"Jin Guangyao and I broke up almost immediately after that kiss."

Jiang Cheng's eyes bulged out in shock and his jaws dropped. "What?"

Lan Xichen smiled endearingly at Jiang Cheng, raising a hand to cup his face. His thumb rubbing against his bottom lip as he tried to shut Jiang Cheng's mouth.

"It didn't feel right. There was tension, yes but then… it just… fizzled after we kissed."

"I thought you guys were so in love with each other? What about the lovey dovey moments you guys had?"

Lan Xichen sighed once more, his hands patting and flipping Jiang Cheng's own as he thought of what to say.

"We did feel something for each other but… it was not romantic love. There was love involved but… we felt that we were more compatible as good friends than lovers."

"Besides, A-Yao mentioned to me after we broke up that I spoke about you a lot instead of anyone else. Every time we meet, it's always 'Jiang Cheng is great, Jiang Cheng is sweet'…"

Lan Xichen lifted a hand to push a stray strand of hair back behind Jiang Cheng's ears, tugging on the lobes a little as he smiled. "Jiang Cheng is so cute when he blushes."

And almost immediately, Jiang Cheng starts blushing. "Stop that."

Lan Xichen giggled softly to himself. His chest felt full and he was feeling happy and warm. He raised the hand that he had been holding on to and gave it a soft kiss.

"He did get jealous of you when I unconsciously talked about you. Said he felt like the other person in the relationship and that you were my boyfriend instead."

"You shouldn't have done that." Jiang Cheng chided with a click of his tongue.

Lan Xichen raised his eyes and pouted sadly. "How was I supposed to know? I wasn't even aware of it."

"I bet he hates me." Jiang Cheng sighed.

"Early on, yes… he did. He kind of resented you for being the only person I could think of and was obsessed with."

"Obsessed?"

"Mn. Keep thinking of you. Wondering where you were, if you had your meals, whether you'll be back for the holidays." Lan Xichen continued to play with Jiang Cheng's hand.

It's so smooth yet so strong. It was supple and bouncy, tempting him to take a bite and not let go.

"He didn't understand my obsession over you. Said that I was being stupid. That you obviously didn't care for me."

Jiang Cheng frowned. How dare that little maggot insult Lan Xichen that way.

"He didn't understand... until he himself fell for someone."

Jiang Cheng's jaw dropped again. "Jin Guangyao fell for someone else?"

Lan Xichen nodded with a smile, "Mh hmm. Then he understood why."

"In fact, he was the one who made me understand why I was so obsessed with you. Asking about you, wanting to hear your voice. Yearning to see you. " Lan Xichen glanced at Jiang Cheng, "He told me that what I had wasn't an obsession. It was love."

"The entire time I've been with A-Yao and the others, I was already in love with you. It's why I always felt so… incomplete being with them."

Jiang Cheng nibbled on his lower lips with a frown on his face. He was thinking hard and the expression tickled Lan Xichen's humor.

"But if you guys broke up after the kiss, why was Jin Guangyao still around you after that? I remember Wei Wuxian telling me that Jin Guangyao was always at the house when you're there."

Lan Xichen snorted softly. "You forget that Jin Guangyao is Jin Zixuan's brother. Jiang Yanli is his sister-in-law. Jin Ling is his nephew. He has every right to be there as an Uncle, just like you."

"Oh…" Jiang Cheng huffed, "I knew that."

Lan Xichen raised a hand to cup Jiang Cheng's cheek before leaning in to nuzzle the other one. He bumped foreheads with Jiang Cheng, nuzzling and rubbing against him like a lovable cat would. His other arm winds itself up around Jiang Cheng's torso, pulling him close toward him.

"After A-Yao told me about what I've been feeling, it all fell into place for me. It made so much sense that I started to dream about you. I dreamt about you every night, in a different way." He whispered huskily.

Jiang Cheng shivered against Lan Xichen as his words tickled his ears.

"I dreamt about having you in my arms once more. I dreamt about your eyes, your lips…" Lan Xichen softly kissed Jiang Cheng's cheeks and slowly made his way down the neck, "your soft, supple skin. I dreamt about kissing you, never letting you go."

Lan Xichen nibbled on the soft skin underneath him, occasionally sucking and kissing on it. Jiang Cheng had to control himself and stopped himself from moaning out loud.

Lan Xichen pulled away to kiss Jiang Cheng once more on the lips, a full french make out in progress. When he heard footsteps crunching nearby, Jiang Cheng pushed Lan Xichen away once more.

"We're in public, stop that." Jiang Cheng blushed.

Lan Xichen's libido increased a lot more when he saw that the blush went further down the neck and beyond the neckline.

"I can't help it. You're just too delicious." He smiled. "Besides, I finally have you in my arms once again. I don't think I can ever let you go."

He leaned in once more, this time, to kiss Jiang Cheng's forehead softly. He then trailed down and kissed him on the nose.

"I'm sorry, Jiang Cheng. I was such a fool." He softly exhaled.

"I was blind. I didn't know that I was hurting you so badly with my stupidity—"

"Don't say that. You're not stupid."

"But I was," Lan Xichen tipped his forehead forward on to Jiang Cheng's own, "I almost lost you. Without knowing that I was in love with you. Without knowing that you're in love with me. I almost lost you."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's fine now, A-Huan." Jiang Cheng blushed again.

Lan Xichen pulled away with a smile so wide, Jiang Cheng swore that angels were humming around them.

"I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"You don't have to. It's all in the past." Jiang Cheng pats Lan Xichen's cheeks lovingly. "Let's just focus on the future now."

"Mn," Lan Xichen nodded before leaning in to kiss Jiang Cheng once again.

"I take it that you guys settled your differences." An annoying voice called out. "Finally! After all those misunderstandings! I could feel my hair dropping off from the stress."

"Congratulations Xiong-zhang."

"Let's leave them alone. I'm hungry. Come Lan Zhan! Let's go eat!"

"Mn."

~ T H E E N D ~