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Janet is checking Dr. Carter’s eyes when Major Carter walks in. “What is it? What’s happening?”
Janet doesn’t look away from her patient to answer., “Dr. Carter has gone into some kind of convulsive shock. I don’t know the cause and I don’t know how to stop it.” It starts again. Janet touches her arm trying to be comforting. “Easy, Sw-” she cuts herself off. Not showing her affection for Sam is always harder when she’s in pain. Apparently, it doesn’t matter which version of Sam it is. Janet’s eyes dart around the room trying to see if anyone noticed her slip. Major Carter has a bit of a sparkle in her eyes even if she’s clearly worried for her other self. Janet makes eye contact with her trying to silently communicate that she loves her. Any version of her.
“Not medical, Temporal. Entropic cascade failure”
Sam walks over and grabs Dr. Carter’s other hand, “On the cellular level?”
“Yes! I thought it would take years not days.”
“So it’s a side effect of travel through the quantum mirror.”
Kawalski interrupts the Sams from where he’s standing, “Then why don’t I have it?”
“I’m guessing Dr. Carter has it because I’m here. The increased entropy generated by both of us existing in the same reality might theoretically be causing a temporal distortion,”
Major Sam says, barely finishing her sentence before Dr. Sam chimes in.
“Not theoretical anymore”
Janet worriedly looks between the two versions of the woman she loves, “Okay, so then how do I treat this?”
“You can't,” Says Dr. Sam. God Janet hates the phrase ‘not medical.’ There’s nothing she can do. She has to watch this version of her lover with long hair and broken eyes gasp in pain as her face starts shifting eerily.
“The more time passes the worse it should get.” Her Sam is so not helping.
“So I’m going to die here.” Before Janet can say anything O’Neill speaks up, determinedly.
“You’re not going to die!” Janet is inclined to agree, even if she as of now can’t find anything medically to do.
“Actually Sir-” Jack doesn’t let Major Carter finish her thought before interrupting.
“Carter.” He looks at her admonishingly. As if somehow they can protect the other Sam from the knowledge she already has. Janet thinks that’s a little silly considering both Sams are geniuses and this one has had even longer to learn about the specific quantum physics of reality-hopping, or whatever she wants to call it.
“Well, the only way she won’t is if we send her back.” Janet stares at Dr. Sam helplessly.
Alternate Kawalski says, “If she goes back the Gou’ald will kill her.” and the Sams look to each other.
Janet hates the thought of any version of Samantha Carter going anywhere near a Gou’ald. She has nightmares about it frequently. She watches Daniel’s pain as he drinks and ends up talking about Sha’re sometimes, after work when they grab drinks together. She thanks her lucky stars every day that Jolinar let Sam go. Sam probably should get diagnosed with PTSD and the mindfuck of sharing a brain with a centuries old being with centuries worth of memories frequently messes with her. It worries Janet just as she worries about Cassie and if her teachers are any good. Janet is determined not to let either Sam get hurt if she can help it. And with this job she realizes she can rarely help it. The best she can do is make this Sam comfortable and watch over her the best she can.
When Major Carter lets go of Dr Carter’s left hand, Janet sees a both an engagement ring and wedding band. She’s very tempted to ask about it but she has a feeling it has something to do with that broken look she keeps seeing in this version of her girlfriend’s eyes. Janet doesn’t presume to know if gay marriage is legal or not in the other reality, or if DADT is in place. But she’s terrified that if she mentions the ring, Dr. Carter will burst into tears and tell her that in her reality, something awful has happened to Janet and she’s left Cassie with yet another dead parent and Sam with a dead love and best friend.
She also has a sinking suspicion that she’s not the one who this Sam loves. And it’s a thought that hurts quite a bit, but this Sam can barely look Colonel O'Neill in the eye, and she’s already mentioned that he’s dead in hers and Alternate Kawalski’s universe. Janet doesn’t think she’s a jealous person but she has noticed the way the Colonel looks at her girlfriend. And she knows that while he doesn’t have a pesky regulation about sexuality keeping him from making a move (and he doesn’t know that Sam is very much taken,) he does have rules about chain of command keeping him from saying anything. Janet knows they’re in love with the same woman, and she thinks Sam has some idea too, but she’d like to think she’s at least a more appropriate choice.
SG-1 meets in the briefing room with General Hammond, and the General nods towards Janet, implicating she’s expected to come with them, but Janet refuses to leave her patient’s side. She looks towards Major Carter for help but she doesn’t say anything to the general, just kind of smirks at Janet and leaves the room.
“Sir I realize there’s nothing medically wrong with her but if something starts I’d like to be here.” General Hammond nods towards her and leaves to breif the team. Eventually Hammond orders her to let Dr. Carter leave the infirmary to work with Major Carter on a way to make the gate in the alternate universe take them to find the Asgard. She wants to follow them and Jack into the room where Sam keeps her Naquada do-hickies, but Siler comes in with cut in his hand that needs stitches and Janet can’t find an excuse to hand him over to one of the nurses that wouldn’t cast suspicion on why she was so worried about a version of her “friend” that isn’t even the one she knows. She does find an excuse to leave the infirmary after Dr. Sam, Kawalski, Teal’c, Daniel and O’Neill have left for the alternate universe. She doesn't bother to say goodbye to Dr. Carter, doesn’t know if she could .
She enters the room the portal is in, watching Major Carter anxiously fidget with her sleeves. She touches her arm gently, careful to make her concern look friendly . Sam looks up, eyes worriedly checking Janet’s for something. Anger? Hurt? What would Janet have to be angry about? She tries to look back with only love, and makes a mental note to talk to Sam about it once they go home to Cassie, for what they tell the boys is “girls night.”
She’s called back to the infirmary before the team comes back. When they do she has to patch up various scratches and bruises. Daniel has a pretty nasty wound on his cheek that got pretty dirty that she needs to clean. When she’s checking O’Neill over she doesn’t look him in the eye a lot and hopes that he doesn't notice. Luckily he’s pretty dense and probably has a lot on his mind. Janet tries not to think about the fact that they’re probably both envisioning a possible future with the same woman. She also tries not to think about how she’d pick out a better engagement ring that suited Sam’s style better. Then she gets a bit of a headache wondering about what the other Jack O’Neill was like and if he knew that Sam better than the Janet in that world does. And if there is a Janet in that world, and if there’s a Cassie, if Sam never rescued their little girl and… yeah it’s a lot to think about.
They take separate rides home like they always do. Sam takes her Death Trap much to Janet’s chagrin but she can’t argue that even if Sam spends more time at her and Cassie’s than her own apartment it doesn’t hurt to be careful not to carpool to work every day that Sam isn’t off-world. They’re lucky they’re women. If two male officers had a “friendship” like theirs it would certainly make their fellow stoic military men suspicious. Maybe there is an alternate reality where they are men and have to be more careful. Though as a doctor Janet assumes if something like a chromosome was different in their dna the likelihood of everything else being the same would be pretty low. She supposes if there’s infinite realities there really is room for everything. Her head swims a little. She tries not to focus on the fact that Dr. Carter apparently told the team that their reality was one of the only ones she and Kawalski could find where the Gou’ald have taken over Earth. Anytime she thinks of the Gou’ald being on earth she worries about her daughter falling into the hands of someone like Nirrti again. Or Sam becoming a host, to a Gou’ald this time instead of a Tok’ra.
Sam uses her key to get into the house and startles her out of her thoughts as she wraps her arms around her from behind. She starts to pull away but Janet hurriedly grabs her hands and places them back where they were, needing the physical affection badly. “Sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. I thought you’d hear me walking in.”
“I usually would.”
“What were you thinking about”
“Um… alternate realities…” This time Sam does pull away and Janet tries not to mourn the loss of her warmth against her back. She turns to face her girlfriend.
“So uh… I don’t suppose she told you who she was married to did she?”
“Um… no but the way she looked at the colonel kind of gave it away.” Sam nods and looks down.
“Yeah I didn’t even know she was married until Kawalski said something about it. It didn’t upset you did it?” Janet smiles softly and gently touches Sam’s jaw.
“I know you love me Sam. I may have been invested in keeping her alive but I promise you’re the Carter I want.” Sam chuckles.
“Well good. Wouldn’t want Mark or my dad to get any ideas.”
Janet snickers, “Sam, honey, your father is not only in his 60s but he also shares a body with a Tok’ra symbiote.” Sam puts her arms back around Janet, her hands resting on her waist and Janet leans in closer, grateful for the resumption of contact.
“Janet he may be old but he’s not blind. And I don’t think Selmak is either.” Sam’s eyes are twinkling with mirth in that way that Janet loves and it’s been a hard day for both of them but she’s glad her girlfriend has kept her sense of humor.
“Well if your mother looked anything like you we know Jacob has excellent taste in women.”
Sam looks a little sad at the mention of her mother but she smiles anyway. “You charmer.”
“Sorry sweetheart.” Janet leans her head against Sam’s strong shoulder.
“No it’s okay. It’s been years. It would be nice to talk with you about her. Sometimes Cas and I talk about her.” Sam nuzzles her nose against the top of Janet’s head and clearly breathes in the scent of her shampoo. Janet tries not to giggle and her lover’s lack of subtlety.
Instead she sighs, “She doesn’t want to talk about her first parents with me.”
Sam sighs back, “She doesn’t want you to think that she doesn’t think of you as her mother.”
“I know. But I wish she knew that I’m not trying to replace them and I’d love to hear anything she’d like to tell me. She doesn’t say much about her old culture either. I think she may miss some of the traditions though and I figure our family is odd enough already that a few alien holidays wouldn’t be so bad.”
Sam presses a kiss to Janet’s head, “You should talk about it with her.” Janet decides that’s a matter for another time.
“Sam I don’t want you to think I’m mad at you for an alternate version of you being with Jack. That wouldn’t make any sense, sweetheart. She’s not actually you.”
Sam tightens her grip on the doctor. “Sometimes feelings are irrational.”
“Are mine usually?” Janet raises an eyebrow. Not that Sam can see it with Janet’s cheek against her chest like this.
“Well, no… but I didn’t want to assume you were impervious to jealousy just because you’re so perfect.”
“There you go sweet talking again,” Janet leans her head upward to look at Sam’s lips for a millisecond before making eye contact, “Do you wish I was jealous?”
Sam blushes and starts to let go of Janet, “Maybe? No not really I’m glad it’s not a problem” Janet wraps her arms around Sam and doesn’t let her pull away.
“You want me to stake a claim on you Major?” Janet whispers against Sam’s neck. She’s not tall enough to reach her ear without standing on her tiptoes.
Sam shudders a little, “I’m not opposed”
“Cassie is still awake.” Janet smirks smugly.
“After dinner?” Sam’s eyes are alight with so much hope and it’s really quite adorable. Sometimes her girlfriend reminds her of a puppy with how excited she gets over things like physics or apparently the promise of sex.
“Sure.” They maintain intense eye contact for a little while before Janet has to kiss her. It’s gentle and not possessive in the least but it’s sweet and when they pull away they’re both a little out of breath. “This you doesn’t feel anything for the colonel, does she?”
“Nothing like what I feel for you.” Janet raises an eyebrow again. “I care about him a lot as a friend and he doesn’t really feel like a brother the way Daniel and Teal’c do. But I don’t spend time thinking about how amazing he is or what a great mother he is and I don’t really enjoy the idea of doing anything more than kissing him.” Sam wrinkles her nose. “I don’t envision a future where I can get married to him and adopt more kids. I don’t think about coming home to a house with him in it after long missions, in fact I usually get tired of him.” Sam snickers.
“You want more kids?” Sam’s expression sobers immediately, as if she didn’t mean to say that.
“I uh… you know I think of Cassie as mine… and I’m hoping someday, DADT will get repealed and I can legally adopt her and live with you two for real.” Sam smiles and moves one of her hands to caress her cheek. “Hold your hand in public and kiss you in front of people. And I’d be fine if we never did but I really wouldn’t mind bringing more children into our home and giving Cassie a sibling or two. Maybe not children from space unless, you know, we happen to run into any.” She shrugs, “but… you’re an amazing mother Janet and I think there’s plenty of kids who need that.” Janet smiles and leans her forehead against Sam’s.
“That sounds nice.”
“Of course we’d talk with Cas about it. I wouldn’t want her to think she wasn’t enough or something… but anyway until DADT gets repealed, if ever… it’s kind of pointless to talk about isn’t it…” Janet kisses Sam gently again.
“Someday, Honey. Hopefully sooner than we think.”
“Hammond’s from Texas you know. I’ve always wondered how he’d feel if he knew…”
“Honestly Sam, it's possible he does know. The first part of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is Don’t Ask. He, Teal’c, Daniel and Colonel O’Neill are probably the people who know us best and I’m not sure about you but sometimes I feel like my love for you is so obvious the whole base knows.”
“You’re so sweet, but yeah I feel that way too. Hiding is really hard, especially when you’re checking me over and I can see your hands twitching to keep from feeling me up more than is appropriate.” Sam says slyly, a playful look in her eye.
“Major Carter!” Janet gently hits Sam’s shoulder, “You know damn well I can remain professional! I’ve never touched you inappropriately while on duty!” She scolds her.
“Yes but Sweetheart, I can tell you want to. I can tell because I find myself wishing you would,” Sam’s voice is soft like a whisper.
“God Sam, don’t put that image in my head… most of the time you’re probably too tired from your mission to even notice.”
“You’re always sexy, Jan”
Janet rolls her eyes, “And you should stop flirting when you know I should be making dinner.”
Sam just winks.