Work Text:
Through half-lidded eyes I stare at the clock on the wall.
In bright blinking lights it tells me its 4:26 AM, great.
Yet another night with no break from consciousness.
You might wonder what I do on nights such as these.
Blasting music and lying on my back staring at the roof is the best way to overcome boredom. Sometimes I get up and look at my dishevelled form in the mirror and wonder what happened?
My purple eye bags give the illusion of two dark, sunken bruises dominate my face. Even more prominent than my frown that always seems to be hanging around, unless I'm with other people. When I'm with other people the frown disappears like like it was never even there, I don't want to chase anyone away because they think I'm gonna snap at them any second.
I think I would chase people away, but in reality I would just blend in with the rest of the class.
They all gave up on fake smiles at the end of our first year.
All the smiles have been gone for a year.
We all have a tiredness thats has been resting in our bones for too long, its found a home.
I can hardly will myself out of bed most days, the other days I just lie there, if anyone else came in they would think I was dead with how shallow my breaths are.
The whole class wants to enjoy life, but with villains on our back 24/7 we cant.
Me and Kacchan haven't left the campus in months.
Last time we did I nearly died, we were in the ICU for a month.
The way things have gone so far I don't think most of us are gonna make it to graduation.
Denki has lost nearly all of the feeling in his fingers, each week someone else In the class has to copy their notes and give them to him. He can hardly even grip a pencil long enough to take notes.
Kacchan ordered hearing aids that should arrive next week, he picked them to be orange.
Momo clearly has an eating disorder. Whether its from her parents incessant need for her to 'look perfect' or because she genuinely just wants to be skinny, even if it hinders her quirk more.
Kirishima's joints have locked up at least three times this week, it gets worse when its winter.
My arms and hands have locked up plenty of times before as well, but that doesn't matter.
We're only children for gods sake! Why are we here, learning how to throw our lives away for some strangers?
We should be at parties on a friday night, not sharing out the heat and ice packs to help with pain of training as hard as we do!
I lifted my hands up to my face but they came back wet.
Was I crying?
When did I start crying?
There were tear tracks streaming freely down my face, dampening the pillow my head was resting on.
My feelings seem to have caught up with me.
The sorrow, wishing this didn't have to be the way of life.
The anger, why can't the adults do this? Why does it have to be us training constantly?
The fear, of whats going to happen to my classmates in the year and a half we have left at highschool.
Who will to be the first to die?
Its hard being a soldier.
Its even harder when your just a child.
I glance back at the clock once more.
5:40.
Time for school.