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Another day, another failed mission outside the walls. Except this time you could still feel the titan’s strong grip around your waist, pulling your body towards its massive mouth.
The cold sweat mixed with the drops of rain drips down your face, a bit of blood warming them up. If it wasn’t for Levi, at this time you would not even be here, you would be inside the titan’s stomach, your body dissolving before it is thrown back up.
Levi has always made sure you came back alive from every mission, even when you were still in the cadet corps. He would always look for you amongst the dead bodies and, once he noticed you weren’t there, he silently hoped that you were alive and not lost somewhere..
You’ve gotten close to death a good few times but something about this one was different. Maybe how close you actually got to being swallowed or because the only reason you nearly died is because of your own mistakes, either way the fear and guilt are still present in your mind.
Days have passed since then but the horrors you see when you close your eyes are very much still there.
When you realize it is yet again past curfew and you can’t close your eyes without being filled with a concerning amount of panic, you decide to head towards Captain Levi’s office in the hopes that he would be able to provide you with any form of comfort.
Quietly, you knock on the door a few times in a familiarly rhythmic way to let him know you are the one on the other side.
“Come in.” His voice is quiet but firm.
When you open the door, you are received by the image of Levi’s face being illuminated by the candles. His hair is messy, like he has been running his fingers through it in an attempt to focus, the bags underneath his eyes telling you the story of how he hasn’t slept in days.
“You look like shit.” You say and he rolls his eyes, placing down the papers that once rested in his hands as he turns his head to look at you.
But before he has the time to call you a brat or say anything teasingly in return, he notices the tears in your eyes and the slight tremble on your bottom lip and hands. He sighs heavily before standing up, heading towards his unused bed.
You don’t have time to say another word before he wraps you in his blanket, covering you from your head to your toes. You smirk among the tears and you can feel his arms wrapping around you as he places your face on his shoulder.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, smelling your skin through the cloth of the blanket.
“I can’t close my eyes anymore.” You say, nuzzling your face against him. Levi lets out a sigh and you can feel as he picks you up. Your head rests on one of his arms while your feet tangle from the other one.
You yelp but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he takes you towards his bed and places you as gently as he possibly can as if you were a doll made out of thin porcelain.
He places your head on the cold surface of the pillow and you clutch to his shirt, puppy eyes desperately pleading for him to not leave you alone. Levi plants a soft kiss on your hand before bringing his hand to your face.
His thumb brushes against the tears that stream down your cheeks and he whispers, “You’re going to be ok. I’ll be right back with something that might help soothe your nerves.”
When the door opens, a cold air current comes from the hallway made of stone and a chill travels down your skin. You pull Levi’s blanket tightly above your chest while looking for any kind of support in his absence.
The trees dance with the wind outside the window, the shadows tormenting you. With wide eyes, you look around the room constantly making sure no titan has made its way inside the barricades.
You can still hear it in the distance: the screams of your fallen comrades who lost their lives because you used the wrong smoke signal. Because of a stupid mistake you’ve made in a moment where it mattered the most.
The burden you carry from their lives, how were you allowed to live while their families just lost someone important? How were you allowed to come back when half the bodies didn’t? Why were you the only one?
Once you realize Levi has been gone for quite a while, paranoia starts to settle in and you are convinced something bad has happened to him. The worst part is that you don’t even know where he went so you can’t go looking.
You are fully aware that he is humanity’s strongest soldier but yet you can shake off the anxiety that comes with thinking that he was somehow killed or kidnapped on his way towards wherever he was going.
Even without knowing where he is, you decide enough is enough and the worry is too much to bear. So in an impulse, you drop the blanket from your shoulders and rush to the door, turning the knob and pulling it open in one swift move but there he stands.
Two cups of tea in his hands and the lantern hanging from his teeth, his foot is up in the air as if he was about to use it to kick open the wooden door. It takes a second but you finally realize he needs assistance so you remove the light from his lips.
He thanks you while you guide him towards the table resting by one of the windows. You place the lantern on the surface, far away from his papers, before Levi hands you a cup.
“It’s a very soothing tea, it’s called…” He says but you cut him off as politely as possible.
“Chamomile.” You smile softly, “How were you able to get this? It’s so incredibly rare.”
“I have my connections in the underground, directly from the stash on its way to the richer families who don’t know anything about appreciating good tea when they see it.” He replies, picking his cup up with the tip of his fingers.
Levi pulls the chair further up a bit as an invitation for you to sit and you gladly take it.
Your image is reflected on his cup and you notice how awful you look: your hair is now a tangled mess, the round circles underneath your eyes seem to get darker by the hour and you can’t even remember when was the last time you had brushed your teeth.
To keep those thoughts away, you take a sip of the sweet liquid. The warmth brings a comforting sensation to your chest and you feel as if your favorite person in the entire world has wrapped their arms around you.
It takes you a second to realize that he did, in fact, hug you from behind. The tea is still in one of his hands while the other holds your shoulders tightly close to his chest.
You feel the warmth of a few new tears as they make their way past your eyes. He doesn’t say anything nor does he need to, all you need in that moment is to feel protected and cared for and Levi has always been the best at providing you with that feeling.
He puts the cup down before kneeling beside you. He places his hand on your cheek and, with his thumb, brushes away the stubborn tears.
“You are safe now.” He says and you nod, feeling as he places his forehead against yours.
After moving away, he silently tilts his head towards the tea in your hands. You take a sip after the other until the contents of the cup have all disappeared. Once you place the cup down, Levi takes your hand and guides you towards his bed.
The blanket he once put above you now rests on his lap and he immediately uses it to shield your body from the chilly wind that comes through a crack on the window.
He wraps his arm around you, gently pulling you closer to him until there is no space whatsoever between your bodies. He is warm but especially his hands which touch you so delicately that you feel like a rare flower.
His face is buried on the back of your neck and you can feel his breath against your skin, awakening butterflies in your stomach in a way you have never felt before. But then again, Levi is quite the master of providing you with new sensations.
You can hear the footsteps outside the room coming from soldiers who patrol the hallways making sure everyone is safe. You can hear the flame of the candle as it dances with the wind. You focus on the sound of Levi’s deep breaths before he begins to hum a melody.
It’s a song you have never heard before and yet it feels so familiar. You feel the vibration coming from his throat and you smile, nuzzling your face against his hand. The melody is soothing and you can feel the peace radiating from the man behind you.
Your eyelids are now as heavy as bags of sand. Even with a wordless lullaby, Levi has managed to wash you with a sense of peace and tranquility. While one of his arms is still wrapped around you, the other reaches for your hair as he plays with the wild strands, combing your hair in the process.
“Where did you learn this song?” You ask quietly and you can feel as he smiles before planting a kiss on your head.
“My mother would sing it to me when I was younger.” He says, “It was the only thing that would help me fall asleep.”
“It’s a beautiful melody.” You acknowledge and he nods.
“Not as beautiful as you.” He says and you can feel a happy smile taking over your lips. In this moment, you have forgotten all about the dangerous situation you had just been put in earlier in the day, all that matters is this moment with Levi. “Blow the candle, let’s get you some sleep.”
You do as he says, quickly returning to his embrace. “Thank you for saving me.”
“I will never let anything bad happen to you.” He whispers softly in response. You close your eyes, focusing once again on his breathing.
Before you have time to fall asleep, you realize his grip around you has loosen up a bit and his breathing has a little more rhythm to it. You realize he has fallen asleep and you can’t help but smile.
You turn around to face him, carefully moving so he won’t wake up. You plant a kiss on his forehead before nuzzling your head on his chest, feeling as he pulls you closer to him in his sleep like you were his teddy bear.
For the first time, you are able to close your eyes and see a beautiful image of Levi taking care of you and you quietly begin hum the song he introduced you to, only stopping when you fall asleep in his arms.
A lullaby is a song known to put people to sleep and, thanks to Levi, you have now found a way to prevent the demons from your past from getting to you during bedtime.