Chapter Text
Midoriya Izuku wants to be a hero more than anything.
Midoriya Izuku wants to help people. Ever since he saw a video of All Might’s debut, he was entranced--and he was determined to become a hero, like every other child their age did.
He watched villain fights on live television; he played Heroes and Villains with Kacchan and his friends; he begged his mother to buy him hero merchandise.
When Kacchan turned four, his quirk came in. Tiny pops sizzle on his palms, and it became clear that his quirk was--nitroglycerin sweat, or explosion in simple terms.
Izuku thought it was so cool . So he took notes on it, and the quirks of all of his classmates who got theirs, and waited patiently for his own quirk to emerge. His fourth birthday was approaching, so it had to be soon. His quirk is probably either a fire-related one or a sort of telekinesis, like his parents.
And when it failed to emerge, Izuku was shattered, and heroes became nothing more than a distant dream, one that the Izuku in this universe couldn’t even imagine going near.
His mother cried at his side, held him close, and apologized time and time again. Doctor Tsubasa regarded him with sympathy in his eyes.
Stop. I’m not fragile.
Diagnosed quirkless at four. Diagnosed Useless at four .
Izuku thought having his dreams shattered was bad, so nothing had prepared him for the relentless bullying that hit him. Worst of all, Kacchan, his strong and brash but used to be nice friend Kacchan, was the ringleader of it all.
Useless, quirkless Izuku!
Hey, did you know that your name can also be read as ‘Deku’, the same as useless? I bet this isn’t just a coincidence!
You really are destined to be worthless!
---
A few weeks after Izuku was diagnosed quirkless, his father supposedly left for America, and never came back.
Izuku’s mother had, once again, cried apologies into his hair while she held him tightly. It was way more than what Izuku deserved. Izuku wanted to cry, but he didn’t. Not for the man who had abandoned his dear, sweet mother because of him . Because of worthless, stupid, useless Deku .
Mother has never said it outright, but it had always been pretty clear that this was all his fault. Because of him, father left. Father didn’t want to bear the burden of a quirkless child, who had no place in such a society.
Now it’s been so long, too long , and Izuku has long forgotten Hisashi’s voice. Hisashi has-used to be a good father. He used to be sweet. Izuku wishes he could forget his face sometimes sooner, too.
---
The first time Izuku managed to talk to a hero, he was eight.
It was stupid of him, he knew. There was no hope for him. After all, he was quirkless, and in this society, quirkless is just a synonym for useless and worthless . But there was just a small string of hope, a minuscule ray of light, and he chased and held onto it as if his life depended on it--and maybe it did.
He asked if he would be a hero without a quirk.
And when the hero shook his head in regret and patted his head, Izuku’s world crumbled around him for a second time.
But you expected it.
Shut up.
---
Over the years, the bullying has advanced to crueler levels. Far crueler. It’s not a rarity for Izuku to be heading home with starburst burn scars and holes on his gakuran . Katsuki and his gang seemed to like a human punching bag better than just dummies for their hero training now.
Izuku doesn’t like it, but it’s fine. After all, Katsuki is going to become a great hero. He’ll just pave the way for him. No, that sounds too great for a worthless nobody like him. A stepping pebble . Yeah.
It’s a good thing that they only started ruining his uniform after his mother took up an international aid job that required her to go on business trips often. After all, he didn’t know how he could pretend everything was fine to Inko, who is a trained nurse extremely efficient in her job.
At first, it was only small explosions as threats or getting pushed into walls. Sometimes getting tripped. Izuku knew that they won’t be so obvious with their bullying in case it ever does stain their records.
However, he was proven wrong close to the end of his second year of Junior high, when he was only fourteen.
Izuku had thought that he became more aware of his surroundings so that he could avoid the gang whenever they came near, but he was way too lost in his thoughts this time. He couldn’t help it! The quirk of the new transfer student was just so cool. But maybe he shouldn’t have been so vocal about it while he was still at school… it was bound to make Katsuki and his friends mad.
They pushed him down the stairs when he wasn’t looking, and Izuku had to be hospitalized for three days due to a minor concussion. His mother had curried back from a business trip to Hokkaido to Izuku’s immense guilt, to take care of him properly.
And that was when she saw the starburst burns and leftover scars.
“Izuku,” Inko began carefully, “Who pushed you down the stairs?”
“No one, mum,” Izuku lied through his teeth. He couldn’t stain Katsuki’s records. Plus, even if Mother believes him, the teachers would say otherwise. “It was just an accident. I’ve always been a little clumsy. It won’t happen again.”
His mother gestures to the pink hand-shaped scar on his shoulder, visible because of the large collar of the hospital gown. Izuku had grown used to wearing high-collared shirts to hide them. “And what are these?”
Izuku knows what his mother is thinking. And though he’s grateful that she hasn’t seen the starburst scars that screamed Katsuki so he wouldn’t get him into trouble, He needs to nip this in the bud.
“Also an accident,” He says.
His mother looks at him, eyes coated with something wet and unreadable.
“You’re getting homeschooled from now on. I don’t know what exactly is happening, but I can’t let you put yourself in such a vulnerable position like this anymore.”
Izuku would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel relief at the thought, but he needs to let his mother know that it’s not and never will be her fault and that Izuku has never been in danger. They’re just playing rough. He can handle it just fine.
“It’s not your fault, mum. I’m the one who’s being a burden for the both of us.”
Tears came streaming out of his mother’s eyes. “Izuku! I’m sorry. It’s never been your fault either. I was too negligent.”
So Izuku cried with her, and for a moment, it seemed as if there were only the two of them on earth, in this small hospital room with an IV still attached to Izuku’s arm, with the back of Izuku’s head still throbbing.
---
It turns out that Izuku learns surprisingly fast when he can do it at his own pace--namely, homeschooling(it may be because Katsuki and his gang weren’t here to ruin his homework, but since he hasn’t seen them in a while now, it’ll be best to just forget that overall). He hasn’t told his mother that he has already almost finished his Junior High course. He didn’t have a chance to because Mother has been going away an awful lot recently.
Izuku was happy for her, really. They needed this money because their living conditions have always been a little difficult ever since his father left. They weren’t poor, per se, but they were just slightly around average.
One day, when Izuku was still fourteen and would have been in his third year of Junior High, she had informed him that she needed to take a long-term job for two years at a well-paying hospital in Europe.
“I’m so sorry, Izuku… If I take this job, we may be able to move to a better apartment after these two years,” His mother said.
Izuku nods because he just wants the best for his mother. He’s irrelevant.
And Izuku knows that he’ll miss her a lot, he will miss her when he wakes him up in the morning and the times when they would eat Katsudon together for dinner. But Izuku also knows that he will enjoy the freedom that it will grant him since his mother has always been overprotective of him.
“Oh, and, if I’m going away for such a long time, I’m going to need to ask Mitsuki to check in on you every once in a while,” His mother finished.
Suddenly, Izuku realized that it would have probably been a lot better if she saw what Katsuki did to him, and thus wouldn’t have made him go to Katsuki’s mother, of all people.
Shit .
“Langauge, Izuku!” His mother reprimanded. Ah, he said that out loud. “And we’re going to meet the Bakugous later. It’ll make me feel better to know that there will always be someone here to look out for you when I’m gone!”
Well, Auntie Mitsuki was nice enough. She may be brash and crass like her son, but she’s fundamentally nicer and actually has a sense of morals. Okay, this may be better than what he had envisioned it to be. He will just need to avoid Katsuki in front of his own mother.
So, he and his mother visited Auntie Mitsuki that evening, and his mother told Auntie Mitsuki about their current situation.
“Oh, I would be delighted to have Izuku over for dinner once in a while!” Auntie Mitsuki says while stretching out a hand to aggressively ruffle Izuku’s hair. “He can teach my Katsuki some manners one in a while. Such a sweet boy!”
Izuku can feel his smile becoming more and more strained. Oh no. Please, don’t--
“KATSUKI! Get your lazy ass down here!”
--Please don’t call the devil himself down.
Breathe in, two three four, breathe out, two, three, four--
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, YOU OLD HAG!” Katsuki poked his head from the stairs. Oh, right, the Bakugous were rich .
Izuku didn’t so much flinch than jump a meter into the air, having not heard the voice for so long.
“YOU UNGRATEFUL BRAT! GET OVER HERE!” Auntie Mitsuki roared, and Izuku couldn’t help the survival instinct to cover his ears. He watches his serene mother smiling beside him. Must be the experience.
And then Katsuki stomped over to the sofa and froze when he saw Izuku and his mother. Then, he screamed in homicidal rage.
After getting Katsuki to Calm The Fuck Down, Auntie Mitsuki sat him down beside her and explained the current situation. Katsuki was very pointedly glaring holes into Izuku’s forehead, and Izuku was sure that if Katsuki had laser eyes, he would be dead by now.
So Izuku responded in kind by shutting down entirely and drifted out of the conversation.
Until.
“Okay, it’s decided then! Izuku-kun will come over for dinner once or twice every two weeks. Sounds good?”
What? No. What just happened in the last few minutes that he spaced out on?
They must’ve taken his silence for a yes, because Auntie Mitsuki and Mother promptly shooed them to Katsuki’s room upstairs to hang out while they take about adult stuff.
Which is a very, very bad idea.
As soon as the doors closed, Izuku could feel bloodlust starting to leak out of every pore on Katsuki’s skin as if it were Nitroglycerin. Oh my god.
Izuku forced a neutral face and braced himself for the worst. Turns out, Katsuki probably wouldn’t kill him here and now, because he Very Calmly sat down in True Katsuki Fashion on his chair while Izuku stood stiffly by the door. Though Izuku’s almost positive it’s because if Auntie Mitsuki and Mother heard explosions from anywhere, Katsuki would be toasted. Otherwise, why wasn’t Katsuki blowing his head off right now?
“Stop fucking stuttering, oh my Fucking God!” Katsuki shouted.
Izuku flinched. He doesn’t talk. It wasn’t a good course of action, from what he had learned from the Days. Though that might have changed, because the last time Izuku saw Katsuki properly, it was before he pushed him to an almost demise down the stairs.
A very stale silence filled the air in the room, and Izuku struggled to not squirm. Turns out he didn’t need to fill the silence because Katsuki started first.
“Let me make one fucking thing clear, before we move on to playing fucking dollhouse with the old hag,” Katsuki snarls, “You better not think you’re any better than me now that you’re all fucking independent! ”
Ah. I’ve never thought I was superior to you, so I guess that’s just how it always has been. He lets Katsuki continue.
“I hope you’ve fucking given up on your stupid hero dream , because I’m the one who’s going to become the number one. Got that? You’re just a stepping pebble.”
Crystal, Izuku thinks. But it’s not what comes out of his mouth. Because he raised his head and looked Katsuki in the eyes.
“Of course, Kacchan. Sharks cannot swim with Minnows forever,” His voice was disturbingly calm, far more placid than how he felt at the moment. Oh God, why did he even say that?
But looking at Katsuki, he realized that Katsuki may be even more shocked than Izuku himself at what he had just said. And an explosion is going to come at any moment now…
At least, it seemed like that until he heard a roar from downstairs. “IZUKU-KUN! It’s time to go home!” from Auntie Mitsuki. Oh god, he’s saved. So he spared one last look at the furious yet uncharacteristically blank expression on Katsuki’s face before burying out of the door and downstairs.
This is not very good for my blood pressure.
But he goes with his Mother anyway and promises that he would come over for dinner every two weeks.
---
Mother didn’t have a lot of time before her flight to England, so Izuku volunteered to help her clean up her room. Because what could go wrong? It’s not like he would find photos of the man he hated the most.
But life hates Midoriya Izuku, and he managed the one thing that he’s been dreading the most anyway.
It was just an innocuous notebook. It was getting dusty in his mother’s bedside drawer, so Izuku decided to check if the notebook had anything important written in it before dumping it into the storage room.
So nothing had prepared him for the photo that fell out of it when he picked it up.
It was a photo of Midoriya Hisashi and Midoriya Inko, holding the newborn Izuku.
Izuku quickly turns the photo around, because he finally got to forget how his father looked like and life hits him with this now of all times?
However, something on the back of the photo caught his eye. Izuku realized that it was a morse code sequence after mentally checking a few times. He’s never learned morse code, so he couldn’t decipher it. Though, Izuku had to admit that there was just something about this entire thing that made Izuku think that there was something much, much deeper to it than just this.
Izuku flips open the notebook and carefully slid the photo inside, the side with the code upwards so that he doesn’t have to see the monstrosity, and checked through the notebook again. It was only then that he realized that there were some sporadic writings inside different and completely irrelevant pages of the notebook. There were number sequences, Caesar ciphers, other languages, and even more morse codes.
Now that’s interesting.
Could this be some kind of unsolved mystery? And, oh god, Izuku is invading his mother’s privacy right now. But if this somehow leads to a part of something bigger…
Suddenly, his phone rang and he snapped the notebook shut on instinct. He picked up his phone and went back to his room, filing the notebook away to investigate for later. He looked at the screen and saw that it was his mother calling.
“Izuku? I’m at the airport waiting to check in right now! Have you eaten? …”
Izuku smiled. It seems that Mother is doing well.
---
As if fate was taunting him, Izuku just had to go to Aldera the next day.
Even if he was homeschooled now and had finished the entire course, with extra credits even, his mother still insisted on him going to Aldera to sit for an actual exam. Since he didn’t want to take the exams in the same classroom as his former classmates, it was arranged for him to take all the tests in a separate classroom in a single day, so he’d managed to avoid all his previous classmates the last time.
This time, though, Izuku had to go to the class that he was supposed to be in, which is, unfortunately, Katsuki’s class, to retrieve his test scores. In front of the entire class.
Thankfully, most of the students were either different classmates who didn’t recognize him, or they didn’t want to talk to him at all after what they have pulled last year. Katsuki seemed content on just glaring at him as a serial killer might look at his next victim, but it was better than before .
However, two things that Izuku didn’t consider was that today was career consultation day, which meant that his teacher would read the Highschools that everyone had sent an application to.
Which meant that his plan of not letting Katsuki--or anyone else at this godforsaken school, really--find out that he was attempting UA, and the Hero Course at that.
Of course, he tried to ask the teacher to let him leave as soon as he realized that fact, but Good Old Mister Tanaka just pasted a plastic smile onto his face and told him that, Midoriya, this is career consultation, and it’s compulsory for every student.
Bullshit. He’s not even their student anymore. Please, let some miracle happen so I won’t have to worry about a homicidal Bakugou Katsuki trying to brutally murder me .
But of course. Mister Tanaka just had to list him and Katsuki out.
“Bakugou-kun is applying for UA! Along with…” The confusion on his face was both mocking and Izuku tensed. He noticed Katsuki stiffen with rage. “Midoriya-kun?”
Mother, I am so sorry that I was born.
Whispers broke out amongst the students. Useless. Quirkless. Worthless. Deku.
Nothing he hasn’t heard before. It’s fine.
As if to add insult to injury, Mister Tanaka quirked an eyebrow and looked up. “Bakugou-kun I could understand… But Midoriya-kun? Which course are you aiming for?”
“The Hero Course.”
Izuku regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth, because the temperature in the classroom immediately dropped a few degrees and the whispering stopped. Izuku didn’t try to look at Katsuki’s face, because he knew that there would only be the calm scowl before an inevitable outburst, usually accompanied by explosions and starburst scars.
Mister Tanaka must have seen something on his face, because he started gathering his things. And maybe it was an amendment for what fate did to him earlier, because the bell chose this exact moment to ring and the teacher scurried out of the classroom. His classmates must have sensed the impending doom as well, because the more timid ones are scrambling out.
Grazed by the Apocalypse.
The same Apocalypse that is about to hit Midoriya Izuku square on the chest, right about now .
“Oi, Deku. What is it that I just fucking heard? Is the shitty, useless nerd going to the Hero Course ?”
Izuku’s grip tightens on his notebook. Quirk Analysis #14 . It was relatively new, but he’d like to save it since there were some more interesting and detailed quirk explanations on there.
“Yeah,” He acknowledged evenly, voice surprisingly not betraying a hint of vulnerability.
“I thought that I’ve made this fucking clear with you yesterday? That I am going to be the only one worthy of going to a hero school in this hellhole? Did you just fucking forget that you are merely a stepping stool for me?”
Please, go and get some Anger Management Therapy.
“It doesn’t hurt to try.”
His mistake. He should not have tried to aggravate Katsuki. Even though his mere existence seemed to be the source of Katsuki’s infinite well of anger.
Katsuki snatched Quirk Analysis #14 before Izuku could react. Damn his reflexes.
“You’re just a useless nobody! A fucking quirkless Deku, that’s what you are,” He reminded him ruthlessly, as if Izuku doesn’t torment himself with the same sentiments as well. “You couldn’t even survive Junior High without dropping out. So don’t even think about it, Shitty Nerd.”
Well, he had a point. But that’s not important right now, because Katsuki was blowing up his precious analysis notebook, the tan cover and white sheets of paper getting scorched before his very eyes.
Damn. I worked two weeks on that one, too.
He should get out of here before Katsuki tries to use him as the scorch board next, even though he could just discard this Gakuran after today. He really didn’t want to end up with burn scars for his mother to see again.
As if adding salt to the wound, Katsuki tossed the notebook out of the window, with scary precision into the koi pond below. Well, as good as Izuku’s memory is, he can’t exactly remember two dozen pages of Quirk Analysis essays, so he should really upload his work onto his computer next time.
Oh, he can’t because of privacy reasons. And he can’t exactly type in code on his computer. People could use his notes for Bad Things if they ever find it. Well, not like anyone will ever want to use his notes anyway. But still.
“If you want to be a hero so bad, just take a swan dive from the roof and pray to get a quirk in your next life!”
Oh.
The remaining members in the classroom froze in their tracks, obviously not expecting the Model Student Bakugou Katsuki to suicide bait another student in a public place. Or maybe they were surprised that it took so long for someone o actually say it out loud. Or maybe they realized that Katsuki is, somehow, in the wrong .
Izuku knew this would eventually happen, too. So he smiles into the crushing silence, gathered his things into his bag, and says nothing.
The moment he is out of the classroom, he starts running down the stairs like a madman to retrieve his ruined notebook. And to nobody’s surprise this time, it is far too burnt, beyond repair.
Izuku pockets it. Maybe he can recycle it.
---
Things have been going to shit today, so Izuku didn’t exactly expect anything. Of course, he hadn’t predicted that he would be involved as the victim of a villain attack, but he has hit Rock Bottom, so he just…
Took it. And expected to die.
He’s not exactly crazy. He just doesn’t have the power to fight back. It may not be a swan dive, but death is death.
Until All Might himself appeared and saved him.
As Izuku coughed up the last bit of what he had for lunch that day to the sewers, the situation at hand suddenly dawned on him. But first, he searched for his bag, and found that it was there. A spare notebook had fallen out, and sweet surprise, All Might had already signed it when he was busy hacking stomach acid out.
But as he gathered up his stuff, he realized that All Might had already finished detaining the Sludge Villain into a plastic bottle.
“Young man, are you quite alright?” All Might asked.
Izuku somehow magically managed to keep his fanboy tendencies in check. “A-All Might! I have a qu-”
“Young man, I am sorry, but I must go now! Have a nice day!” And his only chance at salvation and his biggest idol prepared to take off right in front of his very eyes. No!
So Izuku, being clinically stupid, decided to hang onto his leg, if just to ask this question.
And while they were both shouting frantically in mid-air, Izuku suddenly remembered something, and the reason why All Might is in such a hurry; His time limit.
Now, regular people weren’t supposed to know about that, and Izuku only came up with the explanation because he had been on the Hero Forums a lot lately, and he, along with several other All Might enthusiasts came up with the theory, since All Might has been leaving crime scenes earlier and earlier lately.
And then All Might dropped onto the roof of a very tall building, and Izuku finally snapped out of it.
Let’s just hope that All Might still has some time left.
And he did, it seemed.
“Young man! That was incredibly reckless of you! What if you had--”
Izuku interrupted him rudely like the teenager he is. “Can I be a hero? Without a Quirk?”
The man in front of him is no longer the Symbol of Peace.
Instead, Izuku saw the melancholic and regretful skeleton of a man.
“I am sorry, young man. Without a quirk, I think it will be too dangerous for you out in the field. If you want to help people, joining the Police Force is also a viable option.”
He should have known. That it was just too unrealistic. Though, he was sure that not even the Police would welcome him.
And with that, Izuku let him leave.
Oh.
And now, a depressed teenager is left alone on a tall rooftop, having just had his already crushed dreams shatter into smithereens.
Well, of course. Izuku couldn’t blame All Might for not understanding. Quirkless people are just too rare nowadays, and the ones that All Might have known wouldn’t have gone through the same things as he did. After all, All Might has never been quirkless. He wouldn’t know.
So Izuku sat on the roof until the sunset. And he didn’t think about anything for a very long time.
But then, he remembered the notebook mystery.
---
He heard, the next day, that Katsuki had gotten caught up in the same Sludge Villain attack. It’s probably because he made All Might drop the bottle when he flew. Of course, it was Izuku’s fault that Katsuki would have died, had All Might not been nearby then.
He mulls over the possibility in his head for a while. He doesn’t feel anything, but it still stings.
Then, he remembered something. He realized that he needed to delete his Hero Course Application, and apply for UA’s General Education instead.
So he did exactly that.
And then, he picks up the notebook.
---
Izuku learned the morse code and deciphered the morse sequence behind the photo, which he still refused to even look at once. He found that the deciphered text is a Caesar Cipher in English, so he cracked that one too. It was all quite fun, and almost like a detective game. He could be distracted.
Until, of course, he actually read the text.
The HSPC Conspiracy.
And suddenly, everything became more and more complicated. What was this about? What conspiracy? Who even made this? Because Mother sure wasn’t into this, the last time he checked.
Izuku scratched the back of his head. It seems that this goes further than what he had anticipated.
He shrugs and flips to every page with a code written on it, and began to work on them. He couldn’t afford to think about anything else anyway.
---
AllMightFan15:
[ Do you know how to solve codes? ]
NoSympathy:
[ ....Yes. Why? ]
AllMightFan15:
[ I need your help. ]