Work Text:
Rachel was in the stage, practicing as usual. A little shyly, Santana enters the room.
"Look who's practicing. Not new..."
Her hands were low and together, showing insecurity.
Rachel looks at her "ex-friend" and sighs.
"Yeah, now that you want to steal my role, I have to practice a thousand times more, so you don't push me off the stage, right?"
Lopez looks down, swallows and smirks.
"I never wanted to steal your role, Berry. That was never my goal."
This time, the brunette lets go of her hands, proving to be less insecure.
"Then why, Santana? I really don't understand."
"Yes, you really don't understand, Rachel." She said with a sad smile.
Berry is startled by the answer, but before she can question it, Santana continues.
"I've given up on the role. I've already texted the director. Okay, not a friendly text, but it did the trick. You can be happy. The role is 100% yours. But don't think I did it for you. I did for me, becouse I noticed. Broadway isn't really my thing."
Without even looking back, Santana was about to leave the place.
"Wait, Santana."
A little surprised, Santana turns back, giving Rachel attention.
Berry didn't know what to say, that was what she wanted most, but something still didn't feel right there.
"We need to talk."
"About what?" A strange feeling invaded Santana at that moment. She turns fully to Rachel, annoyed. "I thought we were never friends, like you said. I don't know if there's anything to talk about, you've already got everything you wanted."
Rachel looks away as she remembers that scene.
"I just wanted to understand. Why? Why did you do this?"
Santana crosses her arms, and with her always mocking form, she lets out a cynical laugh.
"It's because I'm not a good person, and you know it."
Rachel takes a deep breath. She lived with Santana in her apartment for a long time, although she was a little difficult to deal with at first, she was starting to understand the brunette little by little. She knew she wasn't a bad person. A little complicated? Yes. But definitely not bad.
"Santana, you're not a bad person." Santana can't hide her face in surprise. Berry moves a little closer to Lopez. "But the truth is…." Rachel would have to swallow some of her pride now, and be honest with Santana. "I was really hurt by all this. I mean, this was always my dream, you know? Since I was born, practically. I've always wanted this, my whole life. And finally when I get it, the school ghosts come back to haunt me."
"I'm the school ghosts, is that it?" Santana uncrosses her arms, she was actually too curious to hear what Rachel was going to say.
"Yes, but it's not just you. You know that, even before I joined the Glee club, I was bullied. From cheerios, football people, Quinn and…" It was hard to say that looking into Santana's eyes. "from you."
Santana opens her mouth, wanting to say something, but quickly closes it. Rachel continues.
"For two years, you haven't been nice to me at all, and you know it. So to see you, who was always popular, beautiful, the girl who always had everything I wanted, wanting now the only place I fit in... it was too much for me."
Talking about all that was not easy for Rachel, and Santana knew it.
"You were always good at everything. You always had talent, friends, beauty, boyfriends and girlfriends. The only thing I had was glee club, my talent and...." Before continuing, she takes a long pause "And Finn. And I want to hold on to the only thing I have left: my talent."
Santana felt a strange sensation with the end of that sentence, and with the direction of this conversation. The truth is, she had never had a conversation this serious, other than with someone in her family or Brittany.
Lopez noticed that there was a little water in Berry's eyes, it was all too much for her.
"Rachel, I... Of course I'm not proud of what I did to you. I was a teenager angry with life, I didn't even understand my own feelings, and the only thing I knew how to do was take it all out. anger in others."
Santana looks toward the exits, making sure no one is there to hear.
"The truth is, I've always admired you." Rachel, who had a crying face, makes a funny face, doubting it. "Seriously. The way you had the guts to post your singing videos on the internet, without being ashamed to show you who you really are. Without being ashamed to show you how amazing your voice is. You joining the least popular club in school, and have stayed there, not caring what others think. I always admired that about you. Because I was never able to be like you. Santana sighs. Admitting it all sent a shiver down her spine. "I care a lot about people's opinions, so my personality is just a barrier to protect me. The only person who has managed to break that barrier so far is Brittany." Lopez uncrosses her arms again, as if she's actually opening up to Berry. "And now you." with a sad little smile, Santana finishes the sentence.
Rachel was sad too, but hearing all this from Santana made her more relieved.
“And Rachel, I never wanted to steal your role. I was confused, kind of lost in what I really wanted, and I thought it would be a good idea to try something new. That way we could practice together, spend more time together. I didn't know you'd look like this... That it would hurt you, after all I'd just be your understudy. Your reaction made me angry, of course. It was as if you didn't believe in my talent, didn't believe I could be so good as you. That's why I insisted. To show you and myself that I could, yes, be as good as you. That yes, I have talent and I can have a future as good as yours. "At this point, Santana did everything to hold back her tears. Being that honest about her true feelings was new to her.
"Santana..." Seeing Lopez crying was too much for Berry, almost like a mirage. "What are you talking about? You're super talented, and second best in the Glee Club, in my personal opinion. You get what you want."
"I know it. A star is a star, it doesn't matter where in the sky it shines."
The two laughed again.
"This is the Santana I know." Rachel opens her arms, finally waiting to hug her.
"As far as I know, we were never friends to hold each other like this," she said, making a mockery of it.
"Oh my God, I didn't know you were that dramatic. Learned from who, from your best friend Rachel Berry?"
"Let's say yes."
Putting her stubbornness aside, Santana finally hug Rachel, gathering her bodies.
"Oh, I missed that hug." Rachel hugged Santana tightly, she had been waiting for this moment for days.
"Me too, you're so short it looks like I'm hugging a hobbit, that's so cute."
"Santana...
"Okay, okay, I'll stop..."
The two were still together when they started to laugh. Maybe they never admit more than they admit, but the truth was, they both missed it. The two had wanted to talk about it for days, but neither had the courage to start the conversation. Their pride was enormous. However, putting it all out has done them a great deal of good.
"Oh, and forgive me for the slap, I really hope I didn't get a mark." Rachel said, breaking the hug.
"It's okay, I have to admit you are a genius slapper as much as Quinn."
"And is that a good thing?" Rachel laughs.
"Depends on the situation." Santana shrugs, laughing.
Rachel rolls her eyes, smiling.
"And…I'm sorry for tearing up our photo." Rachel makes a sad face of disappointment. "But to your surprise and our delight, I have a copy right here." From inside her bag, Rachel pulls out the exact photo she had torn up a few days ago.
"How?" Santana was surprised.
"It's always nice to have copies of photos."
"Why? Do you keep ripping pictures with your friends?"
"Of course not! Just extra security."
"I see... I bet you kept looking at our picture before you went to sleep, and you cried."
Rachel turns red.
"This never happened!"
"I'm kidding! I know you love me, but not that much."
Santana becomes uncomfortable again as she knew what she had to do now.
"Forgive me for making your high school worse than it should be, and forgive me for not talking to you before trying to be the understudy. I promise I will make up for everything from now on, because you are... "She looked at Rachel, a little nervous as she said that "My best friend."
Rachel couldn't help but smile at the phrase, she finally felt better after saying all that. Everything finally felt right. Except...
"We can end this discussion with a flourish, what do you think? Do you think that we could, maybe sing a song togheter in the Glee Club?"
"Fine. But I'm not gonna sing some tired old song that we've already done. Because Santana Lopez is way too badass for that." She said laughing "And our friendship deserves a worthy restart."