Work Text:
Dark.
It was all I could see. At least it was what I wanted to see for now, as I noticed I was keeping my eyes shut. I did not want to see it, I did not want to believe it but I had to. It all reminisced in my mind, torturing me, I would see glimpses of what just happened or what I thought it had just happened. I do not know what time is anymore, what could have felt like a moment ago could be hours, days, years even. So I think of it one last time before I decide to open my eyes.
— We are ready for you ma'am - said one of the helpers of the so-called “ceremony” to remove the beast inside and pass on the burden to a child.
A child I have met for about a week but she is so beautiful and gracious, I have given her the best piece of advice I have so she can master the great responsibility she is about to bear. Love is the key, it has always been, though people want to believe otherwise to fulfill their fantasies.
As the massive wooden doors in front of us are opening, I take one last deep breath and start walking towards my end. On the floor I see the sealing jutsu and a few people, including my dear successor ready to start the ceremony. It almost feels like deja vu as I reminisce about the day I sealed the beast inside of me myself. The difference is, that day I was all alone except for the one person that mattered the most to me. I miss him, I would be lying if I said I did not, but his love for me was so deep that not for a day I have let myself overflow with hatred though I have many reasons to do so. However, until the moment my heart stops beating I will remain a good person like him and will continue to make him proud as I know he is still watching over me from somewhere I am soon to discover.
I sit in the middle of the scribbling, facing the sweet yet frightened face of Kushina. I smile at her, trying to reassure her that everything will be fine, but she is not a silly child, she knows what awaits her though something tells me she worries about me so I tell her I am happy I have such a great successor and wish her luck on the journey ahead of her.
We start the ceremony. In simple words, the beast called Kuraama is sealed inside me and I am too old to remain a vessel for it so it shall be removed from me and sealed again inside Kushina. As the words start being spoken, I feel the exact same feeling of that day and know the pain is about to start. Yet I cannot help but worry about young Kushina in front of me as she starts breaking down in tears. Will I make it? Will I be able to make it till the end? I tried to endure the pain with a plain face, I did not want Kushina to see it, it is not a pretty process but she needs to be here so we know the beast will not free itself and start running loose and threaten the village I adore so much. I came to this village and learned to love it as I got to know more of it and their amazing leader.
At this point I no longer know how long we have been performing this jutsu. All I can think of is the day I decided to become a vessel in order to lend strength to my husband.
Madara came in. I have heard of him from my husband and his brother. He co-founded and named Konoha but decided to leave as he saw he could not have his way. The tension was clear, he might return, we all knew this but we just did not know it would be so soon. Though Hashirama had prepared himself for this, we were all caught off guard. One of the workers in the Hokage office came rushing with the warning. Madara had arrived with company as he had possessed the Nine Tails. A legendary beast known for its untamable hatred. Hashirama could not risk any more lives than he already did for the sake of establishing this village so I accompanied him and we left all the shinobi to protect the civilians.
The battle is long and they are both hurt and struggling. I am far from the battlefield though I can still see it and feel it. I come as a support, Hashirama does not wish me to get hurt. As he had lost two brothers, I knew he could not stand losing me. And we can both be at ease as I was the one who taught Hashirama how to use sealing jutsu. My clan, the Uzumaki clan, feared for its mighty sealing power was wiped out as I was already living in Konoha. Hashirama came with a sad expression on his face, not the usual, almost comic one, but one that bore concern over me. However, I already knew it so I could only keep myself strong as I was almost everything that was left from the Land of Whirlpools.
I hear the Nine Tails growling as a glow appears beneath it. Hashirama comes my way and I already know what happened and what I should do now. At this point of the battle he obtained the Nine Tails but its power it’s too great to be let loose so I start the jutsu. Hashirama approaches me and with an expression of surprise and confusion he asks me what am I doing. I can only give him silence as an answer as I perform the sealing jutsu. I know he is feeling heavy, everything starts weighing on him as his adrenaline starts going down and he kneels close to me. I just hope I can be of help now. He is a strong man, I know he will not lose but even the God of Shinobi has some humanity in him.
I can feel the pain kicking in as Hashirama’s expression changes drastically and I cannot help but scream as the Adamantine sealing chains appear from my body and begin taming the Nine Tails. My body feels numb as I gasp for air and Hashirama comes and holds me, he tells me comforting words but I know my work here has just begun. I must help him reach victory for the sake of the village and I rush him for us to go back to the battlefield and settle this once and for all. And after struggling and fighting so hard, victory is here and we can go back to our home. This battle marked scars on both of us but luckily we still had each other and the village we protected.
Now, when I can finally open my eyes after reminiscing and fulfilling my duties as a vessel, I am startled. I cannot open my eyes now, I am too afraid of this not being real because I just started sensing it. That wooden scent, that brute and yet gentle caressing my face. It is him but I am so scared it might be some kind of hallucination. Do I dare to open my eyes and face reality knowing it may not be what I wish it was? I gather some brief courage and finally reality is kind to me. It is him, it really is him.
Welcome home - he said with such a gentle voice but I know him too well so I know he wants to cry. We have been separated for a long time. If only it meant that we just could not get along anymore but it was because death had done us part and now death had done us united again, it was what it seemed to me.
I was lying down on a black void but now I am sitting myself up facing my beloved husband that was sitting down on his knees. He is still caressing my face and even though I know we are not living beings I can still feel his warmth. But confusion will not leave my mind. I cannot grasp what is happening at this moment.
— What is this? Is this afterlife? Heaven? Hell? - I ask him while still trying to understand for myself what is now.
— This is heaven, my dear. And here you are finally. How long I have waited for you, how much I have missed you. Yet I am still so glad you did not come early. I hope everything is alright back home.
— I, I…
— It’s okay, you did your best and I am so very proud of you, dear. Thank you for being my wife and my pillar
At this rate, we are two old fools crying and simply enjoying each other’s company. He puts my hands on his cheek as tears fall from his beautiful eyes. I always loved looking into his eyes, despite seeing the horrors of living during times of war it still had its glow that would hypnotize you. Hashirama is such a beautiful man, I missed seeing his face every day and having him smile at me making sure I knew I was the reason why he was smiling. I do not know how long forever will last for us now but I will enjoy every single part of it.
— Are you ready to go, my dear? - He asks holding both of my hands
— Go? - I replied confused. We are sitting in a black void but I can see on my right a bright white light glowing from afar and he catches me looking at it.
— We have to go. I have been waiting for you so we could go together.
— Hashirama… - I am speechless. He waited so long for me that I did not know what to say at that moment. What do you say to the person who waited years and years for you to finally enter heaven just because he wanted to go with you? I cannot help but cry harder and he wipes the tears off my face with his gentle hands just like he used to do every time I cried. I’m not someone who cries in front of other people but Hashirama made me feel safe. I could be vulnerable without worrying about judgement because he would always validate my feelings and now they overflow as I can finally spend forever side by side with the love of my life.
Not for a moment, since I woke up, he has let go of my hand so I hold myself together and we get up still holding hands. Hashirama keeps looking at me as if I was some kind of mirage but reality is pleasing now. I share his feelings. We longed for each other so much, we spent decades separated in different worlds, wondering when would we finally see each other again without worries. This dream is now our reality.
We start walking towards the bright white light and I finally feel scared as we approach it. What is beyond that light? I do not know what to expect. So far I could only focus on Hashirama so I did not have any worry but now I feel them building up inside my mind and heart. Unknowingly, I squeeze Hashirama’s hand and he stops to turn to me and gives me that bright and warm smile, silently telling me that everything will be fine and that whatever happens we will not let go of me. I could understand so much even from the smallest acts because everything about him is comforting. The light shining so close did not shine as bright as he did so I gathered some courage and we started walking again until we were beyond that light.
And here we are in heaven, for you are mine at last.