Work Text:
❝ 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗶𝗳𝘁. 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜'𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲. 𝗠𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗜 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗜 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘁, 𝗴𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀.
𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗢𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, ❞
⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱
It was difficult. To be such a silent individual, yet you're liking a person with such an explosive demeanor. You barely exchange words with him, does nothing like approaching him but observing him from far. Those smirks and gazes he gave you, even though probably doesn't mean much for the other, never failed to make your heart beat like crazy. How could he fell in love with a man with such a brash personality?
For a person who lost everything, looking at this certain ash-blond made him spirited once again. His will on achieving perfect at everything, trying his absolute best in facing any obstacle. Despite the way he always mistreated others, perhaps, there was something he was hiding. Shoto wanted to be the one who knows that. He wanted to be the person who could see through the contentious mask and embrace whatever outcome of Katsuki Bakugo. Katsuki was his inspiration. Katsuki's passion really outshone every flaw he had.
He wondered if he could be by the male's side before the time comes. The time that he will leave this place for good and never going to see him anymore. He wondered if he was brave enough to confess every feeling sealed within himself.
Shoto was always all alone. He heard some chatter of how the other workers complimented his look, which consisted of his extremely rare dual-colored traits. Most importantly, of how he was good-looking and additionally rich. He had watched every worker. Everyone, but this ash-blond ever talked about him. He doesn't feel left out nor assumed the male thought the less of him. Katsuki treated him the same as others. Of course, zero respect even to him- the son of his very boss. No constant or weirded-out staring on his eyes, hair, or scar. He treated him like other ordinary workers. It was what Shoto wanted to be treated like.
When was the first time Shoto had fallen for Katsuki?
It was weeks after Katsuki first began his work in the office. Shoto was inside the cafe, next to the transparent wall that made him could see the busy streets. There was Katsuki Bakugo. A headphone set on both ears and seemed to be waiting for the green light. Once the green light turned on, Katsuki walked slowly. Irritatingly slow as if he was trying to annoy the drivers on purpose when the green light turned back to red. Shoto inferred nothing was extraordinary, Katsuki was just being discourteous as how he usually is.
Regardless, that wasn't the case. The bi-colored latter was astounded. As Katsuki reached the end of the crossing path, an old man showed himself from Katsuki's behind. The ash-blond seemed to be acting ignorantly. As if the slow pace of walking he did earlier was not intentioned for helping.
Shoto by far knew it. Katsuki Bakugo was actually a very kind man.
"You're working till late hours, huh? Such a working maniac,"
The raspy voice of the one who used to be shouting often said that in quite a gentle tone. Shoto faced away from the laptop screen he was facing to the ash-blond behind him. Another rare time where they actually communicated. Perhaps, since what was left was the two of them inside the company building. The other seemed to be preparing to leave. "Work hard all you want, the best worker reward will no doubt be mine. Don't fucking care if you're the son of the goddamn owner," Katsuki huffed.
"Bakugo. If there's something you really want to do, what would it be?"
Such a question made Katsuki blinked. A permanent scowl on his expression deepened. "The fuck? We're not even close for me to answer that,"
That's right. What an odd question to ask. Is that a new way to know someone further? That's not it. It took almost an hour for Shoto to finally finish his undone work. By that time, a raged voice halted his steps to his car. It was Katsuki's. Seemed to be talking with someone, probably in a phone call.
"Give me some time, alright? I'll fucking give the full payment anytime soon, so you better watch my old hag and treat her well! I'll kill you if her disease gets worsen!!"
Shoto shouldn't eavesdrop like this. It clearly was a matter Katsuki doesn't want anyone to be involved with. He was talking about his mother having a disease? Shoto doesn't have a pleasing memory about that since his own mother died years ago while he was still a child. Now Katsuki was facing the same, the edge of losing his mother. He remembered the dark memories where he mourned for his mother. The embrace of hers that he still yearned for now. He doesn't want Katsuki to through that.
The call ended with multiple curses of frustration, he could see how pained Katsuki looked. The way he gripped his soft-looking sharp spiked hair and glassy eyes. He could hear the soft gasp when Katsuki turned his way, looking at him with shock. And that was when his look turned to annoyance.
"You didn't hear jack shit. Fuck off,"
Shoto hasn't moved from his position. He wanted to help Katsuki, but at the same time, he doesn't want to hurt the male's pride.
"Let's...make a deal," Shoto spoke out of nowhere.
"...Huh?"
Katsuki looked dumbfounded. Certainly. Shoto was too used to saying everything in his mind so randomly.
"Be my boyfriend. For three months, and I'll reward you by paying your mother's hospitality,"
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"Why me in all of the people? Doubt I would even be in fucking boyfriend material," Katsuki grunted. The 3-months boyfriend contract has been signed by both sides. Shoto had seen how reluctant was Katsuki to go along. They're nearly strangers, only Shoto was willing to be closer. Shoto was in dilemma whether this was the right thing to do, but this helps Katsuki and Shoto himself. A win-win deal.
"Not what you would call a good person either," Katsuki added and the bi-colored simply exhaled gently.
"You know. There's no such thing as a good person for me. It's all about making the best choice for each moment. But at least you don't force others to make that choice for you. That doesn't make you a good person. It just means you're strong. I don't judge a person by how they talk to know they're good..."
A soft hum and the bi-colored male gave a tiny smile. "It's by how they try to understand others. You've been trying to understand me to make this deal worth it for me, don't you?"
Katsuki turned red from such words. He didn't expect to be read easily like this. Grumbling, he mumbled a 'fuck you' and the chuckle that Shoto responded with made his world paused. The man who every girl- boy even would dying to date with now was chuckling before his eyes. He could see how the always so stiff shoulders moved, how so cold expression replaced with a relaxed pure delight.
"Is this some sort of plan of yours? You wanna get your fucking boyfriend jealous by making this contract with me?"
If only that was the actual reason. Does Shoto really planned to confess everything to Katsuki? Telling him every single thing about his feelings towards the other?
It came as a plan but as the time passes. The moments they had together and as how much it impacted Shoto, he knew it would impact Katsuki greatly once this contract ends.
He decided to not tell a single word.
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"You can open your eyes,"
Shoto does as told once the blindfold was pulled off. The very first date with his boyfriend. It was such a prepossessing sight. For being in a relationship with a wealthy man Katsuki didn't think of fancy restaurants nor costly dinners. But it was at ash-blond's house backyard. Since his home had a forest nearby, it doesn't seem like a normal backyard. Alluring colorful lights, glistening like the part of thousand stars in the sky. The lavender-scented candle was on a table with a small radio and the table dined with mouth-watering dishes.
He never knew Katsuki was a romantic man. It would be lovelier if their relationship wasn't because of the contract. Perhaps Katsuki would be further into this date.
"Which restaurant did you ordered these from?"
"Ha? I made these myself, dipshit,"
They looked so neat, so delicious. They looked like has been done by a professional chef too. He wasn't being excessive. How can he deserve a boyfriend this perfect? A temporary boyfriend, but still.
Shoto took a bite, a hum of pleasure left his lips. He wasn't fond of the western meals but this was too tasty to not be consumed every single piece. He ate like he was famished but still, in proper mannerism. "Have you ever reconsider opening a restaurant?"
Katsuki stared on the other, chin rested on one hand. "If I have that much money to open one, I wouldn't have been here dating you under a contract," Katsuki sighed. "But...I don't regret this. I never thought I was unfortunate. Everyone experiences hardships and carries wounds and scars, so I didn't want to say I had it harder or whine about how my pain is greater. You- kind of fucking saved me. So I want to make all these shits you through with me, at least memorable,"
Memorable, yes.
They danced under the slow jazz music. It was making Shoto felt at ease. With Katsuki's calloused arms wrapped around his waist and his own arms looping Katsuki's neck. Shoto couldn't help but fall deeper for this male. The dance placed him in a state of happiness, contentment, and light-heartedness.
"Never knew someone as you can be this gentle,"
Katsuki let out a scoff and he twirled the latter, which caught Shoto by surprise and pressed their chest together. Hands once again securing Shoto's tiny waist. "There's a lot more thing you don't know about me,"
Katsuki himself was having emotions he never thought he would feel. Ever since his mother was diagnosed, he did nothing but working himself to the very limit. He couldn't get a full education. For the city that wouldn't certainly straight away offering the best job for the smartest, Katsuki was lucky to be accepted to the top company of Japan. That came from everything he worked on till now as well but he couldn't deny he was grateful.
Let alone he had the time to feel love.
Shoto was fragile. At least that was what Katsuki could conclude with by spending his time with this latter. Shoto's emotion and as well as his state. For someone as aggressive as the ash-blond, he grew awkward at first. Shoto gave him comfort Katsuki had been wishing for so long. Affection Katsuki starved after his father deceased and his mother bedridden. He knew Shoto needed love himself, so he tried his best to repay the other. Accompanying Shoto during his nightmare, the gentle ruffle on the bi-colored locks, the simple handhold, and a quick peck on the lips and cheeks.
Those are only small actions that lovers usually do, Katsuki thought. But not for Shoto. He treasured them all. So much that thinking about every second of the sweet memories made him in tears.
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As for the being lover's part, there's one where they confessed everything. About their past, their fear, and what bothered them. He told the ash-blond didn't have to do so and Katsuki didn't respond, merely staring at Shoto while Shoto decided to tell everything. His family's tragedy, his siblings. However, he didn't tell Katsuki the whole thing of himself. There was still something he hides. Like the true purpose of the contract being made as well as his true feelings towards Katsuki. He simply told Katsuki was interesting and he took a liking to the male, wanted to feel how to actually be in a relationship.
"My mother passed away because of suicide. She was too overwhelmed that she thought it was best to end it all. I couldn't blame her nor judge her decision. While she was suffering, I couldn't do anything but cried. I was helpless just by myself. I hated my father as the reason for this. Though, he's been trying his best to make amends for his mistakes. Yet I'm still not sure if I'm ready to forgive him.
Perhaps, I really should. He's the only parent that left for me,"
The grip on his hand tightened by Katsuki as the ash-blond gazed at the hustle-bustle of the city, seemed to be in his own thought of his own reply. Unlike him, Katsuki didn't face any family problems but his own burden was too heavy as well. Deceased father, and now a dying mother. He didn't have any siblings by his side nor other family members. Katsuki probably wasn't certain either if his mother would make it out alive after the surgery.
"Neither forgive nor not forgiving is wrong. There's a reason for everything, and you can solve anything if there's a will. If you can't find a reason, perhaps you are meant to let it go. You're allowed to make any choices, Shoto. As long as the result won't give you any regret,"
"Choices, hm," the bi-colored latter leaned his head onto Katsuki's shoulder. The other male was so warm. His scent never failed to make him tranquilized. From the very bottom of his heart, never once he wished for this moment to end. This relationship, this calming atmosphere. He wanted to be by Katsuki's side and stayed as the reason for the ash-blond's laugher, comfort, happiness, and the remedy for his misery.
However, he can't.
As to how the world was beautiful to allow him to feel these wonderful feelings, it was cruel enough to make Shoto experience them in such a short period.
Yet Shoto wanted to shower Katsuki with everything he could do for the ash-blond. He figured love is the most important thing in life. A person would feel lonely on their own. How reassuring would it be to have someone on your side in this vast world?
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"You can't be kidding me. All this while, you haven't felt anything? Not even a bit of love for me?!"
That was the total opposite. Shoto loved him. So much that it was hurting him. He was in a quandary as to whether he was allowed to feel this happy. Everything will end very soon. The contract period has ended and today, the 3 months have passed.
"A deal is a deal. Our period together is only three months, you will receive what I promised to give and everything is over,"
It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. Katsuki had fallen in love with him and Shoto wasn't sure if he should be joyous or horrified. All the happiness he provided the ash-blond with would turn to a disaster. Would become the reason for Katsuki's agony.
"I don't fucking need this money, I need you! You're lying to me and yourself!" The paper contract was torn apart, the same goes for Shoto's heart. He was weak. Weak for Katsuki's love. But the feeling to make Katsuki attain his contentment in life was greater.
"I've told you from the very beginning. No longer relationship will stand after the months. We'll have our path starting from now.
Besides...I just wanted an experience to be with an ordinary man like you. You can't possibly think I would fall in love with you for real. You're nothing to me.
Absolute nothing,"
Shoto had given up once again. Rather than letting the man he loves suffered from his eternal disappearance, it would be better if he made Katsuki hate his guts.
𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦, 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦.
𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘮𝘦.
𝘜𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘭 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦.
This was enough.
Even if he couldn't have his happiness, Katsuki will have the chance to feel more with someone who could stay by his side longer.
𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶.
𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥, 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦.
His will to live has long gone. But because of Katsuki, now he wished to live even longer. He hasn't yet been satisfied with what they have. He wanted to experience everything as Katsuki's real lover. He wanted to...marry Katsuki and officially become his.
The calls were left unanswered, neither he was seen at his place. When Katsuki asked Shoto's father for his being, he simply answered he has been placed at his other corporation in a foreign country but Katsuki didn't buy it. He never did.
He looked for any single clue, none of the workers knew about his whereabouts, and Shoto's siblings have been avoiding him. This was too odd. If he's really in a foreign country, why do they looked so unhappy every time Katsuki questioned? It made countless bad thoughts roaming Katsuki's mind and Shoto's family attempts on making Katsuki gave up, riled the ash-blond more. Making Katsuki felt more need to look for Shoto.
And by the time he found out about the truth, it was already too late.
This was truly unfair. His mother survived the surgery, she's now getting healthier than before and Katsuki even planned to tell her everything. About Shoto included.
His knees felt tired, shaky and his hands clamped tight onto the hospital bed metal side rails. The same sorrow and grief were eating him alive. The deja vu when he was in such pain while his mother was bedridden, but this time. It was different.
It was Shoto who was on this bed.
There were no beeping sounds as to his heart was no longer beating. Face as pale as snow and his lifeless state.
Shoto still looked beautiful this way.
But it was nothing compared to him smiling.
"Why...didn't you tell me?"
A whisper with choked sobs. Katsuki loses a part that made him whole.
"You wanna know what I want to do the most, Shoto?" his voice broke. Sheds of tears that he never let fall during his father's pass, his mother's bedridden period and all his misfortune, now falling endlessly like a waterfall of remorse.
"I want to tell you that 𝗜 fucking 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂, dumbass,"