Chapter Text
“So what’s the main issue here?”
Professor Yang Jonghoon’s trademark of a line sent goosebumps to each and every one in the room. Even after all the years that passed since their 1L class with him in Criminal Code, they couldn’t deny the fact that they would all instantly be back to feeling like his students who feared him way back their first day in law school.
Kang Sol A, Han Joonhwi, Seo Jiho, and Min Bokgi were all gathered in their old professor’s home after work at eight to discuss a high-profile case they all agreed to work on together, though not technically and directly involved but as professionals working in the same field the way they were once in the same study group in university.
Sol was the main lawyer assigned to the defendant, a man of powerful authority from the government, and she has personally reached out to the professor she’s always looked up to in order to make use of his expertise and strengthen her argumentative claims for the coming trials (with her client’s consent, of course). Jiho and Bokgi both had past records of handling cases relevant to the one she’s been shedding her blood, sweat, and tears over hence their presence in the same room. And as for Joonhwi— well obviously, who wouldn’t call the nation’s top prosecutor and ask for his perspective on cases to assure fool-proof defense statements? Luckily for Sol, he wasn’t just her “prosecutor friend''. He was also her husband whom she didn’t need to verbally ask help from. He was always in it for her no matter the time and place, high- or low-profile, he’d always give her his two cents without a price.
“Kang Sol A.”
Sol shivers at the professor’s cold deep voice. But she wasn’t 1L Sol anymore. She was an established lawyer who can now recite the whole criminal code without stuttering. This should be just casual talk with Yang Jonghoon at this point in her life.
But just as she was about to open her mouth to do a quick run through of the case, she felt the insides of her stomach knock on the doors of her throat, asking to come out. As a reflex, she immediately covers her mouth to stop it. Her eyes sting slightly at the nauseous feeling.
Jonghoon smirks at his old student, a sight he’d only show to his most trusted ones. Teasing Sol, he jokes, “This isn’t 1L anymore, Attorney Kang.”
Sol chuckles with everyone when she has slightly recovered. “I’m sorry, prof. I’m just... not feeling quite well lately.”
Joonhwi looked at her with nothing but concern in his eyes but she doesn’t give him a glance and continued to look down on her files to continue the serious discussion.
“So about the case—” Her stomach starts acting up again but doesn’t get to stop it this time.
With a hand over her mouth, Sol stands up and rushes to the nearest bathroom she could remember in her professor’s home. She vomits on the sink, tears falling from her eyes at the sting of it.
Joonhwi immediately came rushing to her, patiently waiting outside the door, uncomfortably hearing her struggles from inside. Jonghoon and the rest have told them to go home and that they could meet another time once Sol gets enough rest. She wouldn’t get to focus on their discussion in an unhealthy state anyway.
A minute later, Joonhwi hears running water and the splashing of it. Sol slowly comes out not long after, the back of her hand was still covering her mouth, her face was wet and her eyes were watery.
“Are you okay?” he asks her softly, his hands gently landing on either side of her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?”
She shakes her head, taking her hand away from her mouth and holding his. “I’m fine. We should head back—”
“Prof Yang and the others said we should just go home. You need to take a break.”
Joonhwi knew Sol wouldn’t fight against it if it were already her professor’s orders. She brought with her a look of annoyance, the usual pout forming on her lips, as they head back to the car, knowing that she could never stand against Yangcrates who always gets the last word (and who’s always right anyway). Not that she doesn’t agree about her needing to go home to rest. She just feels generally bad and guilty for wasting everyone’s time over her nausea acting up at this important time of the day.
“You look dull and weak lately. Are you sure you’re okay?” Joonhwi asks her after a moment of silence as he drives through the city.
“I’m fine. Maybe it was the meal I had in the office. I didn’t really feel like eating it either.”
“No, not just the vomiting.” He glances at her from time to time. She has her head on her hand, eyes closed. “You’re easily tired too.”
“Actually...” Sol sits back straight. Opening her eyes she says, “I also missed my period.”
Joonhwi feels his breath hitch. With how Sol was acting the past couple of days, they both knew this could be a possibility but they brushed it off thinking about all the other possibilities that came along with it instead. But now that Sol has shared one more symptom that could strongly point to their initial thought, they struggled to deny the feeling of sudden nervousness and anxiety as if this whole hypothesis was still unexpected enough to even be true.
“Should we… drop by a store and get a… pregnancy kit?” Joonhwi asks in between glances, eyes staring into Sol’s everytime.
She nods after staring back at him for a while. It was almost like a whisper when she replied, “Yeah. We should.”
Joonhwi and Sol have never sat down for a conversation solely about the thought of having kids. They admire children, they both do. They squeal at cute toddlers running around the parks where they seldom go for a walk to take a breather. Sol gives out candies to the children of her clients whom they bring along for consultation in her firm while Joonhwi literally still babies high school Byeol who gets embarrassed when he treats her with fruit-flavored ice popsicles instead of actual soft serve ice cream in a sugar cone. But that’s just about it. No one has ever tried to bring up the thought of wanting to start a family. They have never made love mainly for the purpose of trying to have a baby or with the thought of a greater future ahead. Well most of the time, at least, they always proceed with caution but some nights may have gone unprotected. But no deeper thought has ever come into this crucial milestone in their lives until tonight, when they least expected it.
Upon arrival to their apartment, Sol immediately locks herself in the bathroom, clutching two pregnancy kits in her hands. Joonhwi lets out a heavy sigh, situating himself on a seat in front of their kitchen counter, hands crossed together in deep thought. Howbeit, he was still feeling happy and excited. These two emotions he would generally categorize as joy were the ones dominating him at this very moment. Blessings that come unexpected are always the ones you would treasure most. Because you never asked for them, but you got them anyway.
Like how Sol was to Joonhwi.
Before law school, Joonhwi thought there would be no better word to describe him than lost . He grew up with barely anyone to even call a family. Losing his parents in the most tragic way, and at a very young age at that, was traumatizing enough, how much more when the only actual family he has left, whom he sees in flesh and form, chooses to abandon him and dissociate themselves with him as if he never deserves to be with them at all. His uncle stuck with him though, treating him like the son he never had and going through lengths for his nephew like how a father always does. But having only his uncle to rely on was never enough, not when he had a real family to attend to, the family that Joonhwi can never be a part of.
For years, it had always been Joonhwi trying to find himself. He had formed a growing passion for professions that deal with putting justice into place, a result of his tragic past. He wanted to embody the same principles that his uncle did. Not until he knew he eventually turned against them. What happens when the only person you have looked up to your whole life becomes a mere facade that burned into ash and you forget what they were like? When you lost the grounds you have built for that growing passion you had in you? Lost was an understatement. Joonhwi was wrecked, scarred, betrayed, and… alone .
And then he happens to sit beside a girl in 1L Criminal Code class with only a 2-feet aisle between them who looked lost and distracted, panicking at how her hair in a bun got called out by the professor. Up to this day, it was an unknown force that drove him to pick up the pen she dropped that day, bravely facing the professor in her stead. Maybe it was some kind of magnetic attraction that led her to bump into him during the break, and a slight sprinkle of courage to ask him for help when they’ve only just met. Or all along maybe it was just fate doing its job , Joonhwi thinks as he remembers the mishap they had way back in a bookstore.
Joonhwi never even asked to find a place for himself in the world but Sol somehow always makes him feel like he was needed. She insists it was for good grades but sticks with him on term breaks anyway. He never calls for her but she just happens to find him in times he needed the warmth and comfort of another. Christmases and New Years felt a little less cold when she invites him over to their home to celebrate.
When she told him she’ll be rooting for him in his uncle’s place, it dawned on him that she was his new-found family. He could finally— finally— be weak without being ashamed of it. Because he knows she would embrace it and carry it all behind her. All his life he was on a restless quest of trying to find where he really wants to be— and he never thought that that place would be beside her.
However, it was Sol who opened all of herself to him first. Maybe it was because of the fact that she’s gone through so much more in the span of her existence, each hardship involving a different person at different times.
And Joonhwi was her safe place.
Her whole life she thought there could absolutely be no one she could possibly share her scars to. Her whole life she has been judged not by the way she was but by the way the people around her were. Always inferior against her twin sister, she has never felt appreciated by her own capabilities. It had always been a Dan or Sol kind of thing; they were always mutually exclusive in the eyes of others despite having the ultimate connection most twin siblings have. What made it even worse was when Dan left without notice to secure herself a better future, leaving Sol to work to the bone for her mother and sister only to have all her hard work wasted by an abusive stepfather.
Getting in law school under a scholarship didn’t get rid of the feeling of being belittled. She was an outcast amongst her outstanding batchmates who got in because of notable achievements. But for the first time in her life, she never could have thought that someone as smart as a second round judicial exam passer would look at her as an equal. It was surprising enough for Joonhwi to be patient with her and respect her learning pace and even more so when he trusted her capabilities to defend him from what she believed were false allegations. He was all ears for anything that comes out of her mouth: rants, complaints, highlights of her day, struggles, things worth celebrating. He was never one to give out advice of any kind nor was he the type to tell her that everything was going to be okay. He just… understands her. To a whole other level that she herself could never explain.
When he told her he wanted to look out for her, it dawned on her that he was a new-found place of security. She could finally— finally— have someone to rely on when life gets too heavy for her own shoulders to carry. All her life she was her family’s source of strength— and now she knows someone whom she could gain strength from.
Where Sol and Joonhwi are now is a product of years and years of wrong timings, misunderstandings, false assumptions, and faulty corroborations for when they tried to prove to themselves that they’re just not meant to be. Like parallel lines together through infinity but destined to never meet . They’ve had a fair share of people in their lives that acted as significant others. They come and they go, some worth crying over while some were just worth a drink. And when they meet up to talk about them, they both always say the same thing— that there was something missing . All along they were idiots in love who believed that an imperfect being can never fill the void of another imperfect being. It wasn’t until they bravely gave it a shot that the world seemed brighter. Nothing felt more right than being succumbed to the fact they were all what each other needed and that maybe two imperfect souls form the perfect team.
Having Sol as his family was enough for Joonhwi. In fact, she was already more than he could ever ask for. On top of that, he also has his mother-in-law who showered him with the motherly love and care he has always longed for all throughout law school and up until now. Plus precious Byeol whom he guards with his life as the big brother he never was to anyone before. But the thought of having a little family of their own felt surreal to him, as if it was already too much to even ask with everything he has been given in the latter part of his life.
“Joonhwi-ah…”
Joonhwi finds himself sitting straight at Sol’s soft call of his name as she finally comes out of the bathroom. Noticing the warm drops of tears on his hand from the cherished thoughts, he wipes his eyes with the edge of his palm before standing up to face her.
Sol’s smile was replaced with a frown out of worry when she saw him. “What’s wrong? Are you crying?”
He knew it was pointless to even hide it. So he walks towards her and gently wraps her in his embrace, closing his eyes at the comfort of her warmth against him and resting his head at the curve of her neck where it fits. Sol waits for him to answer, snaking her own arms around his waist to bring him close, gripping the sticks tighter in one hand.
“Sol-ah…”
She just hums at his call.
“You know how much I love you right?”
She lets out a chuckle and he slightly tilts his head at the sound. She thinks it’s cute how he was suddenly all sentimental when she literally just came out from the bathroom after a self-done pregnancy test. Now that Joonhwi was about to know, he lets the nervousness take over. But he was more nervous over the fact that there could still be that other 50% chance they weren’t expecting.
“Just me?” Sol interrupts his raging thoughts that instantly shut themselves in his head. “What about the baby?”
Joonhwi bats his eyes open and pulls away, hands resting on her shoulders as he looks at her in surprise. He looks down at his hand which she takes, handing to him two sticks that showed the same result. He was staring at them dumbfoundedly, the feeling of his overflowing excitement inside failing his voice to even form a sentence nor to properly sink in what he was actually seeing.
“It’s two lines right there.” She points to the test window of the stick when Joonhwi brings it up to look at it closer. She fails to hide how happy she was when she flashes him her brightest smile, finally telling him.
“I’m pregnant, Joonhwi.”