Work Text:
Blair wakes up in a bed that isn’t hers.
She looks around the room, trying to place it, something familiar about it. It’s not until she spots the cabbage patch doll tucked away in a corner that Blair realizes with a start that she’s in Dan Humphrey’s bedroom.
In a panic, she looks down, and is relieved to see that she’s at least wearing what can serve as pajamas, a faded NYU T-shirt that he must’ve let her borrow and a pair of oversized sweatpants. She spots her shiny new engagement ring on the nightstand next to her and slips it on. It looks different in the morning light, but Blair is starting to feel sure that she almost certainly didn’t cheat on Louis with Humphrey last night.
There’s another ring on the nightstand, but Blair assumes Vanessa must’ve left it behind. In fact, Humphrey’s whole bedroom looks much more girly than she remembered from that Thanksgiving in high school. She assumes it was also all Vanessa’s doing, noting to herself that Vanessa has surprisingly good taste when it comes to interior design.
As she gets out of bed, the whole previous night comes flooding back to her. The party at the consulate. Chuck showing up and embarrassing her in front of Louis’ mother. Louis proposing to her anyway. Going over to tell Chuck and he had…
Blair quickly reaches up to touch her cheek, worried about the cut she knows is there, but she can barely feel it. She’s surprised that it healed so quickly, but maybe the glass didn’t cut her as deeply as she thought.
She can’t remember much of the night after that, so she figures she must’ve gotten drunk, showed up at Humphrey’s to watch a movie, and he put her to sleep on his bed and slept out on the couch. That makes perfect sense, other than why she would go to Humphrey of all people after the night that she had.
Blair walks out of the bedroom and sees Humphrey in the kitchen, making breakfast. “Humphrey- “ she starts to say, a question about just how drunk she was last night on the tip of her tongue, but he doesn’t let her get to it, interrupting her.
“Sleeping on the couch wasn’t punishment enough, now we’re back to Humphrey too?” he says coldly.
Blair’s confused. Punishment? If he had told her she could stay over, she’s sure it’s because he was willing to give her his bed. Plus, she always calls him Humphrey. “I’m sorry?” she replies, not knowing what else to say, not knowing why he’s being so weird about the whole thing.
He seems to take that sorry very differently than she intended, because he breathes a deep sigh of relief and comes over to take her hand. “No, I’m sorry. I was just being prideful and stupid; I didn’t want to admit that you had a point. But…I can’t stay mad at you. I hate it when we fight like that.”
They had a fight? Blair definitely doesn’t remember that, staring back at him with wide eyes.
He takes her confused silence as continued anger. “Okay, I get it if you’re still a little mad at me, I was an asshole, I know. How about we talk it out tonight? I don’t want to make you late for work.”
“What are you talking about, I don’t work at W anymore, remember?”
Now he looks at her in confusion. “No, I meant Vogue.” Vogue? “Are you feeling okay?” With the hand that’s not still holding hers (and what is that all about?) he goes to feel her forehead. Uncomfortable with this whole situation, Blair takes a step back away from him, which causes Humphrey to sigh. “Blair, it’s okay to admit it if you’re sick, you’re a human being.”
“I don’t feel sick, though,” she insists and means it. She’s not feeling sick, just very, very confused.
“Okay, okay.” Humphrey looks down at their still shared hands, giving hers a quick squeeze. “Hey, you forgot to put on your wedding ring,” he says as he lets go.
Her what? And that’s when Blair realizes that Humphrey is wearing a wedding ring too. What exactly did they do last night? Blair always assumed if she ever attended a quickie, out of nowhere wedding it would be Serena’s, not her own. “My wedding – wedding ring?” she stammers out.
Humphrey shoots her a glare. “Blair, we’ve been married a year, it’s not funny anymore.” A year? She would’ve definitely remembered that. Surely this must all be a dream then. A very surreal, confusing dream. She pinches her own arm, trying to wake herself up, but nothing happens.
And that’s when she catches a glimpse of a wall calendar hanging by the fridge. It is also open to May, but the year says 2016.
“Hump – Dan,” she corrects. “Where’s my phone?”
He picks it up off the counter and hands it to her. “You left it out here last night after you stormed into the bedroom. I assumed you were too prideful to come back and get it.”
Blair grabs it, but it’s not her Blackberry, instead an iPhone, and a newer model than what she’s familiar with too. She stares at it, not sure what to do. “I charged it for you, don’t worry,” he tells her. She nods as a thank you, before pressing the little button at the center. It asks her for a four-digit passcode, so she tries 0724, Serena’s birthday, and luckily that works. She goes straight for the calendar, hoping it will say something different, but there it is again: May 2016.
If that wasn’t enough of a confirmation, when Blair exits out of the calendar app, she notices her background image for the first time. It’s her and Hump – Dan, she mentally corrects herself again - him in a tux, her in a white dress, clearly their wedding day.
So, she’s woken up five years in the future. And she’s married to Dan Humphrey. And apparently works for Vogue too. Blair really, really hopes that she doesn’t have any children, this whole situation is strange enough as it is without Blair having to parent a child she doesn’t even know.
Dan goes back to the stove, so Blair hurries over to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her. She catches her reflection in the mirror and notices that her hair is shorter, just brushing past her shoulders, and she can tell that she’s aged a few years too.
Blair does start to feel sick now. She’s missed out on five whole years of her life. She’s no longer with Louis and Chuck must be out of the picture, too. And she fell in love with and married Dan? Sure, the two times they kissed weren’t terrible, and she is finally able to admit that’s he’s a friend, but that’s not enough to form a lifelong romantic foundation. What had happened during those years she had missed?
She unlocks her phone again and scrolls through her contacts. Serena, Nate, and Dorota are all still in there, but Chuck’s number is gone. She mentally debates for a few moments, before dialing Dorota.
Dorota picks up after the first ring. “Miss Blair, is everything okay? You don’t call on weekday, what has happened?”
Blair takes a shaky breath, happy to hear a comforting voice. “I’m fine, Dorota. I just…can we get lunch today?”
“Miss Blair, what are you talking about? I’m in Paris. With Mrs. Eleanor.” It does make sense that if Blair wasn’t living in the penthouse anymore, Eleanor would have Dorota move out to France to come assist her, but it’s still disappointing to hear though.
Blair tries to downplay. “Oh, right, of course. Well, let’s talk soon and give Anastasia my love.”
“No love for Leo?”
“Who?”
“Leo? My son?” Dorota had another baby? Well, it had been five years, Blair allows. “Are you sure you’re all right, Miss Blair?”
“Yes, yes, I’m fine, talk soon!” Blair hangs up and goes to dial Serena.
It rings and rings before finally going to voicemail. “Hey, it’s Serena, sorry I can’t come to the phone right now, but leave a message and I’ll try to get back to you.” Blair doesn’t bother to leave a message, dialing Nate this time.
He picks up at least but sounds sleepy and surprised to hear from her. “Blair, what’s up? Do you realize how early it is?”
Blair looks down at her phone, but it says it’s a quarter past eight. Typical Nate. “Wanna meet me for lunch today?”
“I don’t have access to the Van der Bilt jet anymore, remember? Can’t just hop on a plane and come to New York on a moment’s notice.” Well, clearly her life isn’t the only one that’s changed quite a bit in the past five years. “Everything okay with Dan? Oh my god, are you pregnant?” Nate gasps excitedly.
Blair pales. God, she hopes not, but her and Dan have apparently been married a year…
“No, no, no,” she says quickly. “I was just calling to catch up.”
“Okay, well, next time you want to catch up, can you not do it at five in the morning please?”
“Oh. Yeah, I’ll call you back later Nate, okay?”
“Okay, Blair,” he says, bemused, before hanging up.
So Dorota’s in Paris, Nate’s on the west coast, and Serena is god knows where. And Blair’s married to Dan. And she works at Vogue, which she realizes she’s probably going to be late for at this point.
She ties up her hair, hoping that the future version of her washed it yesterday, and hops in the shower, happy to see that her favorite body wash is in there. She showers quick and when she gets out, she’s grateful that there’s a robe hanging on the back of the door; the idea of walking around the loft in nothing but a towel in front of Dan makes her uncomfortable.
She goes back to what is apparently her and Dan’s bedroom, finding that despite her future self’s choice of pajamas, her taste in daywear fashion is still impeccable. She gets dressed, hastily applies make-up, slips on the forgotten wedding ring, and then heads back to the kitchen. Dan has prepared some lightly buttered toast and fresh fruit for her, which she scarfs down, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.
Dan looks up at her from his laptop, amused. “You trying to break a world record or something?”
“Just don’t want to be late,” she lies. “All right, gotta go.”
“Hey, wait,” Dan says, getting up and meeting her at the door. “We’ll talk tonight, okay?”
Blair nods, not knowing what else to say about a fight she doesn’t even remember. Dan then leans in and kisses her goodbye. It’s only a light peck but Blair is still weirded out about the casual domesticity of the moment.
“Goodbye,” she replies weakly, before walking out the door and heading downstairs. When she walks outside, Blair is relieved to see a town car waiting for her out front, telling the driver “Conde Nast” as she hops in.
“Sure thing, miss,” he replies, starting to drive. They cross the Brooklyn Bridge but then instead of heading uptown to Times Square, he starts to head downtown.
“No, no, Conde Nast,” Blair repeats herself.
The driver looks back at her, annoyed. “Yes, Conde Nast. Freedom Tower.”
“The what tower?”
“One World Trade Center.”
And that’s when Blair remembers that they were rebuilding next to Ground Zero. They must’ve finished. “Right, right, of course.” The driver mutters something under his breath but keeps going.
She’s dropped off in front of a very tall, very shiny glass building. A perky, young twenty-something hurries over, grabbing Blair’s bag from her and handing her a coffee. “Good morning, Ms. Waldorf.” Well at least Blair kept her own last name. “Your nine-thirty is running behind, and Ms. Wintour rescheduled the directors’ meeting for two.” Ms. Wintour. A little thrill goes through Blair hearing that name said to her so casually.
“Thank you…” Blair trails off awkwardly, realizing that she doesn’t know her own assistant’s name. But she’s appreciative that she apparently has her assistant come meet her every morning, since this way she doesn’t have to struggle to find her own office.
When they get all the way up there, the sign on the door reads “Blair Waldorf – Fashion Market Director” and she gets another little thrill seeing that. Blair dismisses the nameless assistant and takes a seat at her desk, deciding to use the extra time she has until her nine-thirty arrives to do some research, turning on her computer.
She googles her own name first, finding a Linkedin page confirming that Blair graduated from Columbia and has been working at Vogue since, a tabloid article reporting on the end of her engagement to Louis, a verified Twitter account with 150,000 followers, and a wedding registry for her and Dan. She googles him next, finding he has a verified Twitter account of his own, several published New Yorker pieces, and an Amazon link for some book he wrote called Inside.
Satisfied that she didn’t marry a gold digger, Blair bites the bullet and googles Chuck next. He’s still running Bass Industries and the Empire, is married to some Eastern European model, and has multiple children by multiple women. Blair touches the faint scar on her cheek again and wonders what Chuck Bass the father is like.
She googles Serena then, discovering a YouTube channel and a page for her on Instagram, something Blair vaguely remembers Serena telling her about a few months back – or, technically, six years back. She has millions of followers on each, both documenting her extensive travels.
Blair checks the most recent post, seeing that Serena is currently in the Maldives. She’s relieved to know that Serena didn’t answer her phone because she was ten hours ahead; she was kind of worried that Serena was pissed at her for marrying Dan, something Blair didn’t even remember doing.
She sees that she’s already following Serena and is able to navigate back to her own Instagram page. To Blair’s surprise, it’s absolutely filled to the brim with pictures of her and Dan. Her and Dan at the Met Gala. Her and Dan at their wedding again. Her and Dan visiting Nate out in California. They look head over heels in love and Blair wonders how she can’t remember feeling something that strong.
Her nine-thirty shows up then and Blair finds that despite missing out on five years of work experience, she still knows what she’s doing, the morning passing quickly.
It’s a little before lunchtime when Serena finally calls Blair back. “Hey, sorry,” she says when Blair answers. “I was out to dinner with Carter.” Ugh, Carter is back in Serena’s life?
“No worries,” Blair lies. “I just, uh…” Blair racks her brain, trying to come up with a believable excuse for what she’s about to ask. “I’m working on this piece about how to know when you’re with the one, and I was wondering when uh…when you knew I loved Dan?” Blair cringes and really hopes future Serena is totally okay with their relationship.
Serena doesn’t sound upset by the question though, just amused. “Probably when you told me you called off your engagement to Louis because you were in love with Dan.”
Blair is shocked. The article about the end of her engagement hadn’t mentioned a specific cause, just vague PR nonsense about how it “wasn’t right”, but it was dated November 2011. Meaning in just six months, Blair would be in love with Dan enough to be willing to end her engagement to a literal prince. How could that be possible?
“Oh,” she finally replies. “And uh…did you think I made the right decision? At the time, I mean?”
Serena sighs. “I mean…you know it upset me a little. The idea of you and Dan as a couple, after everything he and I had been through. But…” Serena trails off for a moment, like she’s thinking of what to say next. “But I had never seen you that happy before. Or him for that matter.”
So, Dan makes her happy. Blair had assumed so, she had married him after all, but it’s surreal to get official confirmation of that. “And what about Chuck?” Blair asks.
“What about him?”
“Did you think it was kinda weird? For me to call off my engagement to Louis for Dan, not Chuck?”
“No, of course not.” Serena says, as if the thought is absurd. “Not with the restraining order.”
“The what?” Blair asks before she can stop herself.
“The restraining order…” Serena repeats as if she was talking to a child. “That Nate was able to take out against Chuck on your behalf…you know, after that night. With the glass.” Blair touches the scar again. She hadn’t even realized Nate had been there, she just thought he was off with Raina. “I know it was a while ago, but did you seriously block that all out?”
“No,” Blair says quickly. “I just…don’t like to think about that night too much, that’s all.”
Serena’s voice gets soft. “B, I’m always glad when you call, but I think this might be a better conversation for your therapist.” Blair sees a therapist again? “Do you need anything else for your piece?”
Blair is confused for a second, before remembering the excuse she had given Serena. “No, no, that’s it. I…I really miss you, S.”
“Aw, I miss you too. I’ll be back in New York soon though, okay?”
After they say their goodbyes and hang up, Blair thinks back on the conversation she just had with Serena, able to put some of the pieces together now. So, Nate had taken out a restraining order against Chuck for her. She figures the last time she has probably seen him was what was the previous night in her world but was actually five years ago for everybody else. The legally enforced no contact probably was what finally helped break the repetitive pattern of their relationship.
Her and Louis had spent six months engaged, but then Dan had come into the picture somehow? She realizes that the only person who could give her real insight into that six months was Dan himself. She’s not sure how she’s going to go about asking him though; he’s better at seeing through her than Serena.
But then a thought occurs to Blair; there’s someone else besides him who might have some insight too: Gossip Girl. However, when she tries to search for it, she can’t find the website at all. Instead, there’s a Vulture article detailing how Gossip Girl posted a rumor about the wrong politician’s son, and the entire website was shut down. On the one hand, Blair is glad she doesn’t have to look over her shoulder anymore, but on the other, she’s disappointed; Gossip Girl blasts about her over the past five years could’ve really helped fill in some blanks.
She has her assistant bring her lunch and catches up on her future self’s emails, learning in the process the nameless assistant is called Madison. The highlight of the day is definitely the meeting with Anna Wintour, the whole experience feeling like a dream come true. The other directors do make a few references that completely fly over Blair’s head though, so she spends her afternoon reading up on world events from the past five years.
Halfway through an article about a missing Malaysian plane, Madison knocks on the open door and asks Blair if she would like to order dinner for her. Blair is surprised to see that it’s already six-fifteen; she doesn’t really want to go home and deal with the awkwardness of being married to Dan, but she knows he’s expecting her and not wanting to invite any questions about her behavior, she asks Madison to call her a town car instead.
When she gets back to the loft, there’s Chinese take-out sitting on the counter, Dan immediately coming over and taking her jacket for her. “Hey, I got your favorite,” he tells her. Blair’s never had a favorite anything when it comes to take-out, another change to her lifestyle her future self has evidently made.
They sit down to eat, and the food is actually incredibly delicious, at least. “So, how was your day?” she asks Dan awkwardly.
He shrugs. “It was all right, wasn’t the most productive writing day. I did work on my list of names though.”
Blair chokes on her chow mein. “Na – names?”
“Yeah. I know you wanted something out of like Breakfast at Tiffany’s or something, but since your dad already has a Cat, maybe we can do Holly or Capote or something.”
Oh, thank god, her and Dan are just getting a kitten. He must notice the expression on her face because he asks, “Are you okay?”
She figures that he is her husband, she can probably be a little honest with him. “Yeah, I uh…I thought you were talking about baby names.”
Now Dan chokes on his food. “You’re not…are you?”
“No,” Blair assures him, pretty confident that’s true now. “I don’t know why I thought that.”
“Well…do you want to have kids now? I mean, last time we talked about it, you said you didn’t even want to think about it until you were thirty.”
“No, thirty’s great, I love that!” Blair says quickly. Thirty gives her four and a half years to get used to her new reality before she has to worry about kids, assuming she stays stuck in the future forever.
Dan sighs and shifts in his seat. “Look…about last night –“
Blair puts her hand on his and cuts him off, no point in having a lengthy talk about a fight she has no memory of. “Dan, really, it’s okay, it’s all forgiven.”
“Really? But what about everything you said? You made it pretty clear that you didn’t want me writing about that.”
“You’re writing about me?”
He looks at her strangely. “Everything I write is about you, Blair. You know that.”
Oh. Blair had never been anyone’s muse before. It actually sounded kind of romantic…
“But look, if you don’t want me to write about you and your mother, I won’t,” he goes on.
Blair picks at her dinner. “What, uh, what stuff were you planning on including about her?”
“Just the typical stuff, how she made you feel, how she wasn’t around, that time she missed your essay competition – “
“Oh, I told you about that?”
Dan draws his eyebrows together. “No, I was there, remember?” Dan was there? “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You haven’t really seemed yourself today.”
No kidding. “Yeah, I’m fine. I…I talked to Serena today.” She looks at Dan, trying to read him, but he doesn’t seem to think there’s anything unusual about that.
“Oh yeah?”
“We were talking about you actually. Or, well, us.” Dan raises an eyebrow. “Just, you know, the end of my engagement to Louis and all of that…” Blair trails off, fishing.
Dan takes the bait. “There’s a name I haven’t heard in a while. Wow, poor guy. I’d be lying if I said I felt bad though, I think it all worked out for the best,” he smirks.
Blair presses some more. “Do you…uh, remember the day I left him? What I told you?”
“Is that a trick question? Of course, I remember, it was one of the greatest days of my life. And nights.” He smirks again and Blair feels heat rise to her cheeks at the implication. “You told me that you must’ve had severe head trauma or something, because you couldn’t stop thinking about me, even when you were with him. You yelled at me that I had purposely sabotaged your relationship with my movie nights and my friendship and my dumb book, and then when I told you I hadn’t done any of it on purpose, I just wanted you to be happy, you kissed me. And uh…” Now Dan blushes. “I knew that I would never kiss anyone else ever again.”
Blair sits in that revelation for a moment. The story feels like her, like something she would say and do, and she’s self-aware enough to know it was typical for her to be in denial until the bitter end. But she still can’t really wrap her head around the fact that Dan is going to be the person she loves one day.
But then he takes her hand and looks her straight in the eye, saying, “Blair, I love you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. And I made a promise that I would do whatever it takes to keep you happy and if it’ll make you unhappy to write about your relationship with your mother, I won’t do it. Okay?” And Blair maybe, sort of understands what her future self sees in him in that moment.
Blair nods. “Okay.” He cups her face and leans in to kiss her, but Blair is much more receptive than she was in the morning, kissing him back this time. He pulls away after several seconds, and the two get up and start clearing the table. They wash dishes together, her washing, him drying, just like that Christmas that was six months ago for her, but six years for him. It’s nice, Blair admits to herself. Being with him like this isn’t too horrible, she certainly could’ve done worse.
But then when they’re done, Dan wiggles his eyebrows and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him. “Wanna make-up?”
Blair’s hands start to clam up. She’s definitely nowhere near ready to play pretend when it comes to that.
She carefully untangles herself from him. “I’m actually sorta tired, tonight, sorry.” He tilts his head like a puppy. “What?” she asks.
“Nothing, it’s just, you usually like to…you know…every single night.”
Blair has always had a strong libido, sure, but it weirds her out that Dan Humphrey knows that about her. “Maybe you’re right, maybe I’m not feeling so great,” she says, which isn’t really much of a lie.
“I knew it, I knew you were sick! Why can you never admit when you’re sick, Blair?” Blair shrugs, pretending to be sheepish, glad that he’s okay about the whole not having sex thing. “Maybe you should go to bed early? Get some rest.”
“That’s a great idea,” she says and starts walking to the bedroom quickly, leaving him behind in the kitchen. She changes into pajamas, which at some point in the past five years seem to have gone entirely from cute teddies to Dan’s old clothes, although she’s not complaining really, because this way she doesn’t have to walk around in front of him half naked.
When she comes back out to head to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, Dan is in a makeshift office that’s taken over Jenny’s old bedroom, presumably working on his writing. When she’s done in the bathroom, she wishes him a goodnight and closes the bedroom door behind her, climbing under the covers, the entire surreal day repeating in her head over and over again, leaving her emotionally exhausted.
---
Blair wakes up in Dan’s bed again the next morning. She had kind of hoped that going to sleep would transport her back to her own time, but no such luck.
She rolls over and is taken aback to see him asleep next to her. Of course, they’re married, but knowing that she shares a bed with Dan every night and actually experiencing it firsthand are two very different things.
He’s shirtless (hopefully not pants less) and Blair can’t help but stare at the muscles in Dan’s back, an intrusive memory popping into her head, remembering how he had looked when she had walked in on him and Georgina -
Blair stops herself there, not letting that thought go any further. Her future self might’ve had sex with Dan, but that doesn’t mean that she was going to. The idea that he’s slept with her hundreds of times, while in her world she’s slept with him never, is a bridge Blair doesn’t think she can cross. But at the same time, she can’t pretend to be tired or have her period forever…
Dan rolls over then, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Hey, were you watching me sleep?” he smiles at her softly. His curls are mussed, and Blair suddenly has a strong urge to run her fingers through them, which she ignores.
“No, I just woke up too,” she tells him. He pulls her close then, and while she can tell that he’s wearing pants, she can also feel the evidence of morning against her, and that is just way too much for her to deal with right now.
She hops out of bed, making up an excuse about an early morning meeting, and rushes off to the bathroom to get ready. She’s halfway through her shower when she hears the bathroom door open and realizes that she forgot to lock it, not used to having to do that. “Dan?” she calls out. She pokes her head around the curtain to see him brushing his teeth. He smiles at her, mouth full of foam.
Blair pops back behind the curtain, freaked out. They’ve apparently been together for years, he’s certainly seen her naked, he is more than allowed to brush his teeth while she’s in the shower. And yet, she still feels incredibly nervous, the moment too intimate. She’s never had this kind of domesticity with anyone before, not even Chuck, and the fact that she’s experiencing it with Dan is still so strange.
Luckily, he’s done before she is, and he’s considerate enough to close the door behind him too. She finishes getting ready, giving him a quick peck goodbye to save face for her weird behavior all morning, and tells him she’ll just have Madison bring her breakfast before she walks out the door.
She spends most of her workday reading Dan’s works, insanely curious since he had told her all of his writing was about her. His New Yorker pieces all seem to be about their relationship after they became a couple, a cute story waxing poetic about a Sunday morning spent together, a funny story detailing a disastrous trip to Greece, a romantic story about their first date. It’s his first book Inside though, presumably written before they got together based off the release date on Amazon, that gives Blair some insight into why her relationship with Louis fell apart.
Blair understands now why her six-months-into-the-future self was pissed about the book: it’s filled with sex scenes. Even though she knows this book was written before they had actually had sex and none of them were based off anything except Dan’s own fantasies, she can see how it would cause problems between her and Louis.
There’s also a larger implication as well…books take a long time to be written. Meaning that her Dan - not her Dan, she corrects, but the Dan that’s in her own time - is working on this book right now back in 2011, falling in love with her already.
Blair thinks back on everything that’s happened in the last few months, their time at W, their growing friendship, the two kisses they had shared, the way he had told her he hoped she’d find her prince and helped her be with Louis. They had grown close, sure, and maybe there was a time or two where he looked at her in a way that made Blair feel butterflies, but she never would’ve guessed that he had deeper feelings for her beyond simple attraction. She’s not sure what to do with that new information.
Around three, he calls her. Blair seriously considers not answering, not in the emotional headspace to pretend to be happily married at the moment, but she knows if she doesn’t, he’ll just keep trying her until she does.
“Hey, is everything okay?” she asks him, assuming him calling her during the workday is not a regular occurrence.
“Yeah, I just forgot to remind you that we have dinner at my dad and Lily’s tonight. Pick you up or meet you there?” Blair groans inwardly. It’s been hard enough trying to keep up appearances around Dan, she’s not sure she can do it with two more people, one of whom knew her extremely well back in her own time, the other probably knowing her well now.
“Uh, pick me up,” she tells him, that way it won’t be a problem in case Lily and Rufus have moved.
“All right, see you at six.” He hangs up and Blair exits out of the eReader, googling Lily and Rufus instead.
---
Blair’s not sure why it never occurred to her that dinner at Lily and Rufus’ would mean dinner with the rest of the Van der Humphrey clan, but it didn’t, so she’s quite surprised to see Jenny and Eric already there when her and Dan walk in.
She braces for impact, expecting Jenny to tell her off for banishing her from New York, but instead Jenny wraps her up in a big hug. Blair hugs her back awkwardly, trying to play along. Jenny excitedly starts telling her about everything going on over at Waldorf Designs (Jenny works at Waldorf Designs?) and starts pulling out sketches from her purse, asking Blair’s opinion on the new fall line.
If she thought it was strange to be married to Dan, it’s even stranger to apparently be good friends with Jenny Humphrey.
Eventually, Lily comes and gets them for dinner, and they all sit down around the table together. Blair takes a backseat in the conversation and just listens, not really able to contribute when she doesn’t know half of what they’re talking about.
She finds out that Eric has a new boyfriend, some pastry chef he met at one of Lily’s events, and in surprising news, Jenny is apparently a lesbian, Dan making a teasing comment about her tendency to date her runway models. Blair feels really bad now about banishing her to Hudson; Jenny was clearly never a threat after all.
Lily does make an offhand mention of Charles once, Dan looking angry while giving Blair’s hand a squeeze under the table, so she guesses it’s all still a pretty sore subject for everybody.
Over dessert is when Rufus asks Dan what he’s writing currently. “Um…” Dan starts awkwardly, looking over at her, and Blair remembers that in his world the two of them just had a huge fight about this very subject. “I actually was thinking today about doing a piece about a girl that’s in love with her brother’s girlfriend.”
Jenny hits Dan in the chest. “Asshole.” She then turns to Blair. “I was never in love with you, for the record, it was just a dumb schoolgirl crush. You know that.” And what? Jenny had had a crush on her? And Blair and Dan apparently knew about it and were totally cool with it?
Dan’s in total teasing big brother mode though. “Yeah, but it makes the story so much better if you’re head over heels in love.”
“Dad,” Jenny whines. “Tell Dan he can’t write about me!”
“Oh, no, no,” Rufus says, throwing his hands up in the air. “I know better by now than to try to think I have any control over what you kids do.”
Dan sticks his tongue out at Jenny, who responds by throwing a leftover bread roll at him.
“Children, please,” Eric sighs, while Lily puts her face in her hands. But Blair can tell her shoulders are shaking with silent laughter.
A warm feeling overcomes Blair, something she hasn’t felt since her father was still at home and there wasn’t any drama between her, Serena, and Nate. It had been so long; she had forgotten what it was like to really have a family.
As they leave, everyone hugs her goodbye, Lily talking about some big Memorial Day party she’s planning on throwing at Cece’s old house in the Hamptons. Memorial Day Weekend is three weeks away, and Blair wonders if she’s still going to be there for it. She’s shocked to discover that a part of her hopes she is.
---
Once again, Blair wakes up in Dan’s bed the next morning. And to make matters worse, it’s a Saturday, meaning she has no work to go to, no way to avoid being around him all day.
Dan’s already out of bed, and she finds him in the living room, just getting off the phone with someone. “That was Vanessa,” he tells her. “She says hi. She’s going to be back in town in a few months to work on a movie actually.”
So, apparently she’s friends with Vanessa Abrams now, too. “That’s great,” she lies.
“Yeah, it is. So, uh…you feeling okay enough for Clark’s this morning?” She had pretended she wasn’t feeling well again last night, claiming she must be coming down with a cold or something. She doesn’t know what Clark’s is, but guesses it’s some sort of restaurant, some Saturday morning tradition of theirs.
She realizes then that this is her out. “Uh…I don’t think so. I think I should just stay in, catch up on rest before work on Monday. But please, go without me, I don’t want to ruin your whole weekend.”
He gives her a strange look. “I would never dare go to Clark’s without you. Besides, I’d rather stay here, take care of you.”
Blair finds herself growing annoyed. Why does he have to be so damn nice all the time? “Okay,” she replies weakly.
“Get back in bed, I’ll get you some dry toast and tea, and then we can watch Roman Holiday or something.” Well, at least he knew what kinds of movies she liked to watch when she was sick.
The morning passes quickly, the two of them watching Audrey Hepburn movies together. It almost feels like the movie nights they’ve had over the past few months, only they’re in bed instead of on the couch and Dan has his arm wrapped around her, cuddling her. He’s warm and solid, and Blair can’t help the butterflies that flutter in her stomach when he strokes her shoulder. She wants to hate it more than she actually does.
He spends the afternoon making her homemade chicken noodle soup, Blair sitting at the counter, mostly watching, but occasionally interjecting that he’s put too much salt in, which he ignores each time. He spoon feeds her a taste when he’s done, Blair trying to ignore the heat that rises to her face when he cups her chin, and she’s pleased to discover that he’s quite the chef.
After dinner, he asks if she wants to watch something called Inside Llewyn Davis. “What’s that?” she asks, eyebrows drawing together, figuring it’s some obscure movie that never made the classics list.
“The Coen Brothers movie? With Oscar Isaac?”
“Who?”
He blinks back at her, apparently in shock. “What? Are you fucking with me? You love him! We saw that in theaters three times!”
Blair realizes her mistake immediately, cursing herself for not even considering that Dan was talking about a movie from the past five years. “Yeah, I was fucking with you,” she tries to save it.
He doesn’t seem too convinced, but they watch the movie anyway. Blair loves it, of course, and can easily see what her future self sees in this Oscar Isaac actor. Afterwards, they get into a long discussion debating whether the Gaslight Café was better for aspiring musicians or aspiring comedians, which leads to a debate of who was the better songwriter, Bob Dylan or Joni Mitchell, which bleeds into another discussion of who is the best modern songwriter.
Halfway through that debate, she yawns, and Dan glances over at the clock. “Oh man, I’m keeping you up. You really should get some rest. Hopefully you’ll be feeling better in the morning.”
Blair doesn’t want their late-night chat to end, but nods anyway, going to get ready for bed. As she’s settling in, she finds herself turning to Dan, surprising herself by saying, “Today was actually really nice. Thank you for spending it with me.”
“Of course,” he smiles at her, giving her a quick kiss goodnight before rolling over. For the first time, Blair finds herself wishing for more, regretting her lie about being sick for a quick second. She buries that thought down as quick as it came, resolved to try to forget she ever thought it in the morning.
---
The next morning when she wakes, Dan brings her tea and a pain au chocolat for her to eat in bed, and Blair doesn’t really mind that she’s once again woken up in the future. They split the Sunday paper, her taking the Style section, him taking the Op-Eds, both of them taking turns with the Arts section. They do the crossword section together in pen and she thinks absently that this might be the best Sunday morning she’s ever had.
As they argue over 117 across, Blair proclaims that she’s going to go get a dictionary in order to prove to him that “hoser” doesn’t have an “I” in it, heading into Dan's makeshift office. She can’t find one on the shelves though, and starts digging through the desk drawer, when she finds a stack of papers.
She pulls them out and starts to read, realizing it must be more of Dan’s writing, and is surprised to find that they are all sex scenes. But unlike the ones in Inside, Blair knows instantly that these were based off real events, recognizing her own moves and tricks.
Dan walks in to find her reading them and looks mortified, so Blair guesses her future self had no idea about them either. “Dan?” is all she has to ask.
“Blair, I swear I was never going to do anything with them. They were just for uh...” he blushes, face turning so red she worries he’ll pop a blood vessel, “my own personal enjoyment…” he trails off.
And oh. The idea that he writes about their sexual encounters for his own masturbatory purposes should probably bother her, but it doesn’t, at all. If anything, she’s incredibly flattered.
Blair puts the papers down and steps closer to him. “You really, really love me, don’t you?”
Dan looks almost confused by the question. “Of course I do – “
Blair cuts him off with a kiss. Within minutes, he has her on top of the desk, hand trailing up her thigh.
Blair wants this, she really does, but the back of her mind still registers that Dan knows exactly which spots to hit, while she has no idea what's the best way to even kiss him properly. Right as he starts reaching for her shirt, she pushes him away.
“Blair? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry, Dan. I really thought I could do this, but it’s just…too much.”
“What? What did I do? How can I fix it?” he pleads.
“It’s nothing you did, it’s all me.” She puts her face in her hands. “Oh god, you’re going to think I’m crazy,” she mumbles out.
“Blair, please,” Dan sounds desperate now, and Blair knows she’s going to break his heart. “What’s wrong? What’s been going on with you?”
Blair puts her hands back down and sighs, playing with the hem of her shirt. “I’m not…I’m not who you think I am.”
“What are you talking about? I know you, Blair, I do.”
“You’re right, you do. But I’m not your Blair. I - I think I time traveled or something. Cause one night I was getting engaged to Louis, and Chuck, he…” she trails off, knowing Dan knows what happened that night. “And then I woke up here, five years later, with no idea of what had happened in those years.”
Dan looks at her in disbelief. “That’s not possible.”
“But it happened. It did! You said it yourself, how I haven’t been like me. That’s why.”
“I want to believe you, I do…”
“But it sounds crazy,” she replies sadly.
“A little bit, yeah,” Dan admits.
“Are you going to ship me off to Bellevue now?”
“I don’t think that exists anymore.” He pauses, giving her a funny look. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”
“Would the Blair you know ever make up something so crazy just to play a joke on you?”
Dan kinda half shrugs. “Well…not to me, no,” he yields to her.
“See, there you go.”
His face grows more serious then. “How long? How long have you been here?”
“A few days. I keep going to bed thinking I’ll wake up the next morning and be back, but it never happens.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing to me? You’re the one I feel sorry for. You might not ever get your Blair back.”
Dan shakes his head. “But you are my Blair. Yeah, you seemed a little off, but I thought you were still mad at me, or you had grown unhappy. It never crossed my mind that you were a totally different person…because you’re not. You’re still the Blair I know…just five years behind.”
“I wish that was true…” Blair replies sadly. “Your Blair, she seems so much better than me. She has her life together, she’s freed herself from Chuck’s grasp, she even made things right with your sister. I could never do any of that.”
“But you will!” he tries to remind her.
“I guess it’s promising to know my dark side subsides one day,” Blair continues on as if she didn’t even hear him.
“Your – your dark side?” A horrified expression clouds Dan’s face.
“I bring out the worst in people. Especially men.” She touches the scar on her cheek again. “Look at what I pushed Chuck into. It was only a matter of time before Louis ended up the same way.”
Dan scoffs. “Please. Chuck was a horrible person long before you. If anything, he brought out the worst in you. But that’s not who you are, not really.” Dan sighs, his eyes taking on a look she’s never seen before. Well, maybe once, but she doesn’t like to think of that Valentine’s Day too much. “There’s so much good in you Blair. And yeah, maybe it took you some time to find it, but it’s in there.”
Blair sits in silence with that thought for a few moments before saying, “I think you probably make her really, really happy – “
“Stop saying “her” like she’s some other person,” he interrupts.
She sighs and looks back down as she fiddles with her hands, unable to look him in the eye for this part. “I’m not really in love with you, not yet, but a part of me still doesn't want to go back, you know? So, I can only imagine how she must feel after five years of this.” She starts to choke up, tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she gets out, “I’m worried about going back a little bit, honestly. What if these past few days get wiped from my memory? I know the rest of the world doesn’t get to know their future…but it’s been comforting to know that mine turns out okay.”
Dan brushes a curl behind her ear, smiling softly. “I get that. But when you do go back, and I say when, not if, because I have hope for you, if you don’t get to remember this, you’ll get to experience it all with fresh eyes. And I don’t want you to miss that. Because these past five years…these past five years have been really, really great.”
She gives him a watery smile. “I don’t doubt that anymore.”
He snort laughs, but Blair finds that cute now. “Anymore. You’re hilarious,” he deadpans. He seems to take her in for another moment, before saying, “Come here,” pulling her into a warm hug.
“It’ll all work out exactly like the universe intended,” he murmurs into her hair. “I know it.”
---
The next morning when Blair wakes up, she doesn’t open her eyes right away. She’s in no rush. She knows no matter what she sees, she’s going to be just fine either way.