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A sharp sting spreads through her back at the speed of light, and that’s when Ganyu opens her eyes, gasping.
She’s on the floor, the cold and unwelcoming presence of the ground pressed against her bones. Her vision is blurry, her head spinning and throbbing, but she makes out something moving not too far ahead. She hears a voice, someone calling out something she can’t quite grasp.
Oh.
It’s you .
She hears your voice calling out her name, soaked in anguish.
“…yu! Ganyu! Run!” You yell at her, though she can’t quite focus her eyes on you yet, barely following your silhouette moving through the unknown surroundings. You sound desperate. “Ganyu! You have to get out of here, please!”
The despair in your voice is what clears her mind, and Ganyu tries to stand to the best of her abilities.
When she feels her body able to sustain her on her two feet, she focuses her senses back on you.
You’re a little further ahead, sword in your hand, and you’re desperately fighting against a hoard of beasts of the abyss, trying to keep them from coming closer to Ganyu.
You’re bleeding through your clothes, but you’re still fighting furiously.
A few feet from her, Ganyu sees her bow. She runs to it and grabs it, immediately targeting the enemies that are quickly circling you.
She doesn’t know how you two have gotten here, but Ganyu’s certain that she will get you out safely. There’s not a chance that she would run like you asked her to and leave you there helpless and alone.
She’s spent her life being reliable and a source of stability and comfort for those around her, but in you Ganyu has found for the first time someone she can trust, someone she can be vulnerable around, someone to lean on. Keeping you safe is a promise, a contract, Ganyu made with herself when she first started harboring feelings for you, and in all her centuries of roaming this world, Ganyu is yet to break a single contact she’s made. And she isn’t planning on starting now.
She closes an eye to have better aiming as she shoots her arrow, infusing it with traces of the cryo element that she bears.
Ganyu sees as the arrow flies through the space between you and how, completely unaware and defenseless, you dodge an attack and accidentally position yourself right where the arrow collides with the monsters.
There’s an explosion of fire and ice, and Ganyu watches in horror your body falling limp to the floor, the remnants of the monsters scattered around you.
She lets out a raw scream, her limbs burning and aching as she runs to your side.
She doesn’t know what to do, Ganyu hovers her trembling hands over you, desperately blinking and trying to clear her vision blurry with tears.
“I’m— I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I—“ Ganyu stammers, her breathing panicked as she assesses your wounds. She places your head on her lap with utmost care. “Rex Lapis, please, let us be alright— Please, I…”
You open your eyes, slowly looking up at her. Ganyu sees a pained expression flashing through your face, like your whole body hurts. The arrow didn’t collide with your body, thankfully. That might’ve blown you up in the air. But the explosion that came afterwards did, and Ganyu thinks that your limbs must be aching like they’re set on fire.
She did this to you.
She hurt you, the person she treasures the most in the entirety of the world. And she hurt you.
Ganyu listens to your troubled breathing, your chest going up and down laboriously, and she can feel her own chest constricted in anguish. The guilt overwhelms her chest and spills over the edges, soaking her veins and filling her eyes. She tries to hold it in, to be strong in the face of your suffering, but everything spills out when your vision unfocuses and your breathing starts growing faint.
Ganyu’s blood freezes in her veins.
“No— No, no, please—” She hears her own pleading voice, her thick tears falling down onto your cheeks, but you’re not looking at her. Her pulse quickens, and she shakes your body. “Please, stay— Stay with me. No, no— Oh, gods—“
She looks around. Maybe someone can still help you. Maybe there’s still time. Ganyu doesn’t recognize the surroundings, she doesn’t even remember how she got here in the first place.
Your body is going limp on her arms, and she’s growing desperate. She can hear her own heartbeat thumping into her ears, her vision blurry with tears that sting, her chest heaving as she struggles to control her trembling. She holds onto you, digging her fingers in your arms.
“Hold on— Please, we’ll— We’ll find help. Yes, you’ll be alright. Just— Please, just… Stay awake. For me— Please—“
She buries her face on your chest, your pulse barely there. Ganyu’s losing you, but she’s injured too and there’s nowhere she can go to get help for you. She’s losing you and she knows it. Her chest stings like a shattered mirror burning with regret and fear.
She can’t lose you.
She can’t live in a world without you, how could she ever? How did she manage for all these centuries until you showed up and swept her off her feet?
She can’t lose you.
Ganyu buries her nose in your collar. You still smell like the lemon shampoo she bought for you and that’s still in your shared bathroom. That smell of comfort, of the safety of the home you’ve built together, is what brings Ganyu over the edge.
She curls on herself, burying her face in you, touching your skin and cradling your face, thick tears spilling desperately down from her eyes.
“Don’t— Don’t leave me.” She chokes out between muffled sobs and guttural sounds of agony from the back of her throat. She’s trembling as she holds you impossibly closer. “Please, you— You promised. You can’t go yet, there’s still… There’s so much we haven’t done yet. You can’t— Please… Please don’t leave me—“
Ganyu stays there, holding you close and watching as her worst nightmare came to life, until—
Thud .
Ganyu opens her eyes.
She’s laying down, a soft mattress under her and the sheets sprawled lazily at her feet.
Her breathing is erratic, her chest going up and down desperately fast. She parts her lips and her throat feels dry, it's hard for her to swallow. Ganyu raises her hands, watches her fingers tremble in the dim light of the room, the only source of light being the green numbers of the clock on the bedside table.
Three in the morning.
Ganyu blinks several times, feeling her cheeks wet with recently shed tears. She can still feel her chest throbbing with pain at the sight of you limp in her arms.
A nightmare.
It was all a nightmare .
She presses the heel of her hands against her eyes and breathes out shakily. She tries a few times, calming down her painfully clamoring heart, stopping her trembling to the best of her abilities.
Ganyu notices she doesn’t have a pillow.
Ah, that must be the thud she heard earlier, what got her out of the nightmare. She must’ve been moving restlessly, and the pillow must’ve fallen down the bed.
She rolls to her side, locks of blue hair falling over her face, and reaches out to your side of the bed. She’s met with empty air.
Then, Ganyu notices.
You’re not sleeping next to her.
In fact, you’re not in the room at all.
Her hand falls in disappointment, and she smoothes in the place in the bed where you should be resting. Is it still warm? Maybe it’s Ganyu’s wishful thinking.
There’s a strange twinge of anxiety in her heart.
You’re not beside her in bed, sure, but what Ganyu saw was merely a nightmare. You’re most definitely alright. You must’ve gotten up to go to the toilet, perhaps to get a glass of water. But nothing bad has happened to you.
…Right?
Ganyu rolls and spreads out on the bed, pulling your pillow into her arms and softly resting her chin on it. She closes her eyes and inhales your scent. It still smells like you, like the lemon shampoo she bought for you and—
Traces of her dream come back to Ganyu’s mind. Her arrow flying through the air. Your body falling limp onto the ground. Her shaking hands all over you. Your eyes slowly losing focus.
She buries her face in the pillow, tightening her grip on it. The comfort of your scent seems to taunt her now.
Ganyu has to talk herself out of her baseless fear and growing anxiety. She hasn’t managed yet to shake the feeling, so she tries to soak up as much of this as she can, as much of you — the comforting scent of you in your pillow, the knowledge that you were sleeping next to her until only recently, and you'll be here again soon— because if she doesn't, if she lets herself slip even a little, that'll be it.
She sharpens her hearing, trying to find the sound of your steps coming back to the room in the darkness, but she’s met with complete silence.
Ganyu’s fighting against it, but she can start to feel it— the cold certainty settling in her stomach, telling her that you're not coming back, that she lost you again.
What if it’s true?
What if something happened to you and Ganyu wasn’t there to protect you?
What if you weren’t coming back to hold her again?
Her chest clenches at the thought, her eyes slowly filling with unshed tears she’s fighting back.
Ganyu feels her body moving when her feet meet the cold ground beneath.
She opens the door and finds more darkness on the other side, but she knows your shared house like the back of her hand, and she could find you in her sleep. She makes her way down the stairs, the unease quickly climbing up her back and spreading through her veins like wildfire. Ganyu feels her breathing shortened when she finally sees a dim light in the kitchen.
When she opens the door, Ganyu is met with your eyes. You’re quick to draw a gentle smile on your face.
“Hey,” you say, leaning against the counter and reaching your hands out to Ganyu. “It’s late, what are you doing up?”
Your voice washes over Ganyu like a gentle summer rain, washing off all her anxiety and melting away her fears as she timidly walks up to you. She breathes out, reaching out to your hands and holding them steady.
“I woke up, and—“ She hesitates. She probably could tell you about her nightmare, but she doesn’t want to worry you, really. So she shakes her head briefly. “You weren’t there.”
You draw Ganyu to you, holding her waist as she softly lands against your chest. Her body is unusually warmer than yours, probably because she’s been in bed until recently.
“I’m sorry. I woke up and my throat felt super dry, so I came down to grab a glass of water.” You say, drawing circles on her waist with your thumb. “But then I saw we hadn’t cleaned up the dishes from last night, and I kinda started washing them, cause I know you’d worry about cleaning them in the morning when you’re hurrying to go to work, and we can’t have that, can we?”
“I guess we can’t.”
Ganyu rests her head against your chest, not really paying much attention to your words. In other circumstances, she’d listen closely to all and any of the things you say, but Ganyu feels immensely relieved to have you close, and right now hearing your voice is enough to lift the heaviest of burdens from her chest.
You don’t reply, and Ganyu figures it’s okay to stay like this for a little while longer.
Her ear pressed against your chest, she can vividly hear the thumping of your heart underneath. She closes her eyes, lulled by your warmth, the way your soft chest rises and falls, the phantom of your touch on her waist.
Ganyu’s suddenly aware of how blissfully happy she feels right now, the previous nightmare completely forgotten.
Being half-human and half-qilin, Ganyu has lived for centuries with the ever-present feeling of not having a place she belongs. She shares a human soul with human emotions, but she also possesses qilin heritage and abilities that parallel an adeptus’. She’s seen by the citizens of Liyue as someone to rely on, someone trustworthy and strong. In the eyes of everyone she’s ever met in her centuries of life, Ganyu has always been a reliable tool, a secretary, a fighter, a protector, a mentor, an ever-present, ever-capable creature.
And she was fine with that, she’d managed to exist, to find joy in the little aspects of life— until you .
You came into her life, and falling in love with you felt like falling asleep— slowly, at first, and then all at once. Your company kept her focused until late hours at the Yuhei Pavilion, your gentle reassurance gave her strength to keep trying her best at work, your sweet presents made her feel valued in a bubbly and exciting way she had never felt, and your gentle touches fed a craving for comfort that she hadn’t dared to indulge in ever before, making her feel the sweetest form of love.
Confessing to you was close to the hardest thing Ganyu’s ever done, considering she was part of the Archon War many centuries ago. But the hardships that one experiences in a war are nothing to be compared to the hardships of baring your heart out to the object of your affection, completely vulnerable in a way that made Ganyu’s anxiety skyrocket. She stammered and felt her face light up like fireworks from Inazuma when she told you that she loved you.
It had been silly of her to worry at all, really, because you were really quick to reciprocate, drawing the sweetest smile that Ganyu had ever seen, and that was the first time she caught herself thinking just how much she wanted to kiss you.
From then on, you’ve built your life around Ganyu, and she’s done the same with you. Your lives are so helplessly intertwined that Ganyu can’t even imagine a future where you wouldn’t be next to her. The thought alone makes her stomach swirl in the most unpleasant way.
Ganyu inhales, her head resting against your chest and your scent filling every edge and crack in her heart.
A life without you…
Just like that, her nightmare creeps back into her brain. The images of you sprawled on her lap, your eyes unfocused, and her thick tears sliding down your cheeks.
A life without you…
Ganyu isn’t sure she could ever continue living on without you. Living day by day, waking up without your warmth pressed against her in bed, having breakfast without your sunny presence shining over her, going to work without your texts telling her how much you miss her. All your plans for the future, the calendar you mark shared plans in with joy, the certainty of you embracing her every night and holding her close as she falls asleep.
A life without you… would be torture .
Ganyu feels her eyes fill up with tears and she closes her eyes tight.
You’ve been holding her for a couple of minutes, Ganyu’s face hidden from your field of vision, but you feel the tiredness creep up your body, and you can’t suppress a yawn.
You softly try pushing Ganyu away from you.
“We should go back to bed now, my love.”
Ganyu notices you trying to let go of her and she panics. She can’t let you see the tears pricking in her eyes, she really doesn’t want to bother you with her childish insecurities after a nightmare. She can handle this on her own. She only needs some more time to set her heartbeat and her emotions down.
Ganyu presses herself closer to you again, tucking her head under your chin, careful not to hurt you with her horns. She’s trying very hard to hold the tears in, she really is, shutting her eyes close and holding the soft fabric of your shirt on your back, gently enough to not startle you.
“Someone’s cuddly today.” You say with a small smile.
You’re too taken aback by her sudden burst of affection that you decide to not read too much into it, arguably blaming the night for the vulnerability in Ganyu’s actions.
“Can we… Can we stay like this?” Ganyu whispers. She doesn’t trust that her voice won’t tremble if she speaks any louder, and she curls a little into herself, as if trying to make herself smaller somehow. Maybe, if she was smaller, the feelings swirling in her chest would feel less overwhelming. “Please. Just for a minute. If… If that’s okay with you?”
Slowly, you wrap your arms loosely around her waist, nuzzling your face into her icy blue hair and placing a gentle kiss on her horns. “Of course,” you whisper back. She smells like lemongrass and winter.
You hear Ganyu softly sigh at the contact, the warm air leaving her lips and caressing the skin on your neck, and you smile to yourself.
Ganyu’s heart skips a beat when she feels your lips being gently pressed against the delicate surface of her horns. You know how sensitive they are, she reluctantly told you when you first started officially dating.
You’d ask Ganyu to let her play with her hair and she would usually refuse, but on the rare occasions she allowed you to, you’d see a furious blush blooming under her cheeks while laying on your lap, your fingers lost in her blue locks, gently scratching her scalp. If you ever accidentally reached the base of her horns, Ganyu would jolt up and stare at you with wide lilac eyes, a violent shade of crimson sprawled all over her cheeks, for a split second right before she excused herself and bolted out of the shared room.
That happened several times, and ultimately you decided to directly ask her about it. After learning how sensitive her horns are, you’ve learnt to be much delicate with your affections, and Ganyu’s slowly learnt to let her guard down around you, silently enjoying your lingering kisses on her horns, your soft caresses, your fingers gently running through them when you play with her hair.
Having you kiss her horns in such a gentle way makes Ganyu feel like she’s melting, her limbs feeling weak for a short second, having to rely on you for support, her fingers trembling as she grabs your shirt, a content sigh leaving her lips.
She managed to blink back the tears, focusing instead on your arms holding her steady, in the sound of your heartbeat. You’re alive and well and next to her. There’s nothing wrong, nothing to be afraid of. Everything’s okay. You’re okay— She’s okay .
Ganyu doesn’t answer, and you don’t add anything else. You let her stay like that for a couple of more minutes, until you hear her first yawn.
You softly pull away from Ganyu.
“Let’s head back, yeah?”
She looks up to you, and your hand travels to her cheek, brushing it softly with the pad of your thumb. Ganyu leans into your touch, her eyelashes fluttering briefly.
She shakes her head. “Yes, it’s late. Sorry to keep you here for longer than intended.”
“Being with you is always a delight.” You kiss her cheek, and Ganyu averts her eyes, slightly embarrassed. “Now, come on.”
You hold her hand and start making your way to the bedroom. Ganyu follows you closely behind, her grip on your hand growing imperceptibly tighter.
You climb on the bed easily, plopping yourself on the mattress and covering your mouth as you let out a big yawn. Your eyes flutter closed quickly, you struggle keeping them open as you watch Ganyu’s movements in the dark.
Ganyu climbs on her side of the bed, lying on her side so she’s facing you. You reach down and pull the sheets over Ganyu’s body and then over yours. You place a sweet, small kiss on the tip of Ganyu’s nose.
“Goodnight, my love.”
Ganyu’s heart skips a beat for a second. She knows you’re alright and safe next to her, but the unease weighs over her bones like a suffocating blanket she can’t shake off. It’s not rational, Ganyu thinks, she’s just indulging in childlike fears and behavior. But she doesn’t want to be left alone in the dark with her thoughts.
So she clears her throat and she finds her voice, small and timid like a newborn flower.
“Actually… Before we go to sleep, is it okay if you—“ She swallows, tries again. “Can you hold my hand?”
Your eyes flutter open again, and you find her face partially hidden under the covers, a sweet pink spreading over her cheeks. You draw a gentle smile, finding her hand under the sheets and holding her steady.
“Of course.” You whisper, the sleepiness settling in on your body, but you still want to make Ganyu comfortable like you always have. Her hand feels small and slightly cold in yours, you can feel it starting to warm to your touch. “This is nice.”
Ganyu scoots closer, her knees brushing yours, and you close your eyes again.
Ganyu watches your chest rise and fall, slowly falling into a rhythmic pattern.
You’re falling asleep .
She’s usually a very bashful person, she won’t indulge in her desires if that places her in a position of temporary vulnerability when around others. She tries to not eat too much in public, to politely accept praises and never take them actively to heart, to admire the things she considers as beautiful from afar, never too close.
But with you, that changes a bit. Ganyu’s still bashful, but you encourage her to live more freely, to plant a garden full of Qixing flowers to snack on, to accept the praise you give her because you’ll repeat it over and over until she believes that yes, you really think she’s beautiful and hardworking and special .
You make her feel special.
That’s why, when it’s just the two of you, Ganyu can allow herself to indulge in what her heart desires, to admire the things that make her the happiest.
Right now, the thing that makes her the happiest is watching your peaceful face as you sleep.
The smooth line of your eyebrows, the bridge of your nose, your eyelashes fluttering as you dream —hopefully something beautiful. Hopefully, Ganyu timidly wishes, you were dreaming about her—, the soft skin of your rosy cheeks, the pink of your lips and how desperately sweet they taste on hers.
She raises her other hand, the one that isn’t held in your grasp, and very slowly she traces the smooth skin of your bottom lip with her thumb.
Ganyu stays there, softly staring at you as your chest rises and falls, and she thinks of how utterly in love she is with every part of you.
She scoots slightly closer, trying to not stir you in your sleep, hoping to lose herself in your scent, her chest swirling with homesickness even though she’s lying pressed close to you.
Your warmth and closeness alone prove to not be enough to calm Ganyu’s ruthless heart, traces of her nightmare still plaguing her mind, scattered behind her eyelids every time she tries so much as closing her eyes to hopefully get some sleep.
Your raw scream as her arrow sent you flying.
Ganyu’s hand tightens her grip on yours, feeling the familiar trembling spreading to her fingers.
Your eyes fluttering open and losing focus.
Her breathing starts to quicken, coming out sharpened and jagged as the air leaves her parted lips.
The weight of your body in her helpless hands.
Her vision starts to blurry, the edges fading into dark dots dancing in the periphery of her eyes.
Her chest burning and aching like a shattered mirror set aflame, the pain spilling over and overflowing her veins, clawing her heart.
Ganyu bursts into tears, but she’s quick to press her free hand against her mouth. She closes her eyes tight, biting her bottom lip to muffle her sobs.
She’s always been a silent crier, even when she was little and Cloud Retainer was looking after her, Ganyu wouldn’t allow herself such selfishness of bothering others with feelings she could bear alone, so she learned to cry in silence, the tears spilling out of her like a silent waterfall as she tries her best not to sniffle, and—
“Ganyu?”
She shoots her eyes wide open, the blood in her veins freezing. She finds your eyes, drowsy and slightly unfocused. She immediately lets go of your hand, furiously wiping away the tears staining her cheeks.
“Oh, gods, I—“ Sniff . Her voice comes out wet and shaky. She feels miserable for waking you up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—“ Sniff . “I didn’t want to wake you—“
“No, it’s… It’s okay.” You blink a couple of times, completely clearing away the drowsiness, your senses focused on Ganyu. “What’s wrong?”
Ganyu rolls on the bed, lying on her other side, facing away from you. She’s hiding her face in her hands.
“Nothing, I—“ Sniff . Ganyu whispers, her throat closing in on itself, making it harder to breathe. She presses the hills of her hands against her eyes, squeezing tighter. Stop crying, stop crying, stop crying! “I’m sorry, please…” Sniff. “Please, go back to sleep—“
“Hey, look at me.” You try, rolling to your side, facing Ganyu’s back and placing your hand on her shoulder. Ganyu flinches at the touch, but she doesn’t pull away. “Ganyu, please . It’s me. It’s okay, I promise.”
You’re met with silence, but you keep on drawing circles on Ganyu’s shoulder with the pad of your thumb, caressing her skin, silently letting her know that you’re there, that you’re willing to wait for her.
Eventually, Ganyu uncovers her face, but she doesn’t move.
“I’m sorry.” Sniff . Thick tears keep spilling out of her eyes, dampening her cheeks and the pillow underneath. Her heart beats unsteadily, her voice small and trembling when she opens her mouth again to try to offer some explanation to you. She really feels terrible to keep you up and worried over her, but the tears won’t stop coming, and she doesn’t know how to stop them. “I— I really didn’t mean to wake you—“
“That’s alright, I promise. I’d rather be here with you.” You say, caressing her arm, from her shoulder slowly sliding down to her elbow, soothing. You try again. “Is it okay if I hold you now?”
Ganyu whimpers, curling into herself at the sound of your voice overwhelmingly caring.
“Yes—“ Sniff . She tries holding back the tears, closing her eyes shut as she waits for your touch on her again. “Yes, please. I would… like that.”
“Alright, here we go—“
You scoot closer to her, Ganyu’s frame smaller than yours as you secure your arm around her waist, your other arm sliding under the pillow for support. You press your front to Ganyu’s back, taking in her body slightly colder than yours, your thighs brushing the back of hers, your feet barely touching, and you cover both of your bodies with the sheets.
You raise your hand and brush off some locks of icy blue hair off her neck, and you place a soft kiss on the skin that meets you there, on the spot between her jaw and clavicle. Ganyu shivers in your arms, but you feel her body noticeably relaxing with your touch.
She sniffles again. You can feel her trying to even her breathing, the air leaving her lips ragged and shaky still.
Ganyu’s heart is not nearly close to calming down now. Having your body pressed close to her makes her feel small but in a good way, like the utter certainty that nothing bad can happen while your arms are wrapped around her middle, your heart beating steadily on her back, your breath on her neck, and she feels the safest Ganyu’s ever felt in her life.
She really loves you, she’s desperately in love with you, and that tiny and stupid part of her brain keeps remembering how discouragingly shattering it would be to lose you, to lose this happiness she has right now, and she’s terrified because her hands can’t stop shaking, and the tears won’t stop coming, and she doesn’t know what to do with herself—
“I’m here, my love.” You whisper, your voice low and overwhelmingly soothing, Ganyu wants nothing more than to melt in your arms. “We don’t need to talk, alright? We can just stay right here, like this.”
Ganyu’s eyes sting and her chest is throbbing and she opens her mouth before she can stop herself.
“I had a nightmare.” She blurts out.
Hearing it out loud makes her feel even worse. It sounds so childish. It was just a stupid dream, it wasn’t real, and yet she’s selfish enough to trouble you when you should be resting, to worry you over her unfounded fears. You must be ashamed of her right now. A grown woman losing her composure over a bad dream. You deserve better, Ganyu’s sure that—
“That’s terrible. I’m sorry to hear that, my love.” You whisper, drawing soft motions on the back of her hand. Your voice full of honest concern and love and your soothing touch makes her feel even worse, the tears burning behind her closed eyelids. You really are too good for her. “Do you want to tell me what happened in the dream?”
“It’s okay, really. I’m—“ Sniff. “I’m okay.”
Ganyu mumbles. Well, that wasn’t convincing at all.
She feels the tip of your fingers lightly brushing the skin on her neck again, setting aside some locks of light blue hair, slowly pressing your lips against her neck in a sweet and gentle kiss.
“You don’t have to lie to me.”
You say, and something in Ganyu’s chest twists. You didn’t say it with malice or resentment, just matter-of-factly. You weren’t pushing her to talk, just making sure she knows she has a safe space to talk if she wants to. She really has no reason to lie to you, you’ve proved to her time and time again that Ganyu’s feelings are just as important as anyone else’s and that she doesn’t have to diminish them.
Then, why…
Ganyu’s hand clasps the shirt above her chest, feeling the warm sensation of tears building up behind her eyelids again.
Then, why is it so hard for her to open up to you?
She feels your hand drawing circles on her hand, over her waist. Patient, loving, accepting. You’re every little thing that’s good in her world, and if she really does want to keep you, she can’t keep pushing you away when all you want to do is soothe and heal.
So, Ganyu swallows and slowly turns around in your arms.
She’s facing you, but she doesn’t have it in her to look up at you yet.
It’s a silly thought, but her cheeks are probably stained and wet, her nose must be red and her eyes feel puffy. Something in Ganyu’s chest twinges at the thought of you seeing her like this, a mess outside as she feels on the inside, but the part of her that trusts you and your love blindly is what keeps her steady in your grasp, not turning away again.
Ganyu can practically hear the smile in your voice.
“There she is.” You say, repositioning yourself to be more comfortable. One arm around her waist, and the other arm climbs up to palm Ganyu’s face. She closes her eyes briefly when you place a soft kiss on the tip of her nose. “I missed your pretty face.”
You tease, and Ganyu lets out a wet chuckle.
She’s such an idiot, really. Worrying over how her face looks like when she knows by heart that you’re nothing but tender and loving when it comes to complimenting her, appearance and all.
“Do you want to tell me about your nightmare?” You offer.
Ganyu visibly tenses in your arms, her muscles growing rigid at the memory. She swallows before she opens her mouth.
“It’s silly. You—“ Sniff . Here comes the tears again, Ganyu thinks as she feels the familiar sting behind her eyes. She closes them shut, trying to hold them in, to hold it all in, keep it together for just a little bit longer. Her voice sounds shaky and wet. “You don’t need to worry. This is— Being like this is—“ Sniff. “Is more than enough, really.”
You draw your hand to Ganyu’s back and start running your hands up and down in soothing motions. Ganyu feels your warmth spreading down her back, in her veins and in every centimeter of skin, calm and soft like summer rain over her tired body.
She closes her eyes tighter.
You really are making it hard for her to keep it together, to not overflow and spill out all her feelings on you.
“You don’t have to—“ Sniff. She can feel her fingers shaking, she doesn't know what to hold on to. “You really don’t have to do this. I’m— I’m sorry.”
“Ganyu, my love. Please .” You press closer to her, your hand on her back holding her steady, secure. You nuzzle your face in the crown of Ganyu’s head, between her horns, careful not to brush them too forcefully, and place a lingering kiss on her icy blue hair. “Let me take care of you.”
Maybe it’s your scent surrounding her, maybe it’s your soothing touch on every part of her you can reach, maybe it’s your encouraging words, or maybe it’s the sound of your voice, familiar and overflowing with the sweetest kind of love that Ganyu’s ever felt, almost something tangible, real— but Ganyu’s defenses come crashing down, the walls she’d spent centuries building steadily crumbling like a sandcastle in the ocean of your affection, and she finds she can’t hold it in any longer.
Ganyu hides her face in the crook of your neck, her nose brushing that mole you have between your jaw and the bone of your clavicle, and she lets out a sob that comes out ragged and leaves her breathless. The tears start pouring down her cheeks and they don’t stop, Ganyu can’t possibly stop them. She finds herself panting for air, the oxygen draining from her lungs as she chokes on the heavier sobs, her cheeks wet and your shirt growing increasingly stained with tears.
You hold her through it all, whispering sweet nothings in her ear, feeling her whimper and breathing in an uneven pattern, her chest rising and falling erratically as she pants for air, no longer trying to wipe out the tears that keep pouring down from her fluttering lilac eyes.
“I’m sorry—“ Ganyu breathes out, chokes on a sob, tries again. “ I don’t— I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” You palm her cheek, stained with tears, and you make her look up to you. Her brow furrows, she sniffles and lets out another sob before she breathes in and continues. “I can’t stop crying—“
You give in, cupping her face between your hands. You feel your own expression turning overwhelming with feelings. Torn, worried, agonizing. You search in her eyes, mirroring her pain. Like it’s hurting you, too, even if you can’t possibly understand the way her chest bleeds and hurts.
“That’s okay, my love. It’s okay. You’re okay.” You reach down, placing a kiss on her forehead, brushing her cheek with your thumb, wiping the tears that keep coming. Your heart aches seeing her like this. “I’m here, alright? I’m here with you.”
Ganyu finds shelter in your touch, leaning to your hand holding her face, trying her best to breathe in steadily, to suppress her sniffles.
She finds comfort in your words, in your presence, so she repeats them like a mantra, like nothing can hurt her as long as these words are true.
“You’re here. You’re here. You’re—“ Sniff. Ganyu says between sobs, holding tight to you as if you were the last lifeline she had left in all the broken things that are left of her. “You’re with me. You’re here .”
“That’s right.” You soothe her, holding the base of her head with your right hand. “I’m with you. I’m here.”
You reach up, taking her face in your warmer hands, and you brush Ganyu’s tears away with your thumbs.
“You were hurt.” Ganyu blurts out, heavy tears falling on your hands, her lilac eyes desperately searching for comfort in yours. “I— I hurt you. In my dream.” Ganyu stammers between sobs, shaking, like she can’t do anything but let the pain dig its claws into her scarred skin and tear her apart piece by piece, memory by memory. “You were— You were gone. I lost you—“
“It was just a dream.” You whisper to her. Ganyu’s shivering continues, but her breathing grows calmer. You find your way into her icy blue hair, the tips of your fingers tingling with electricity where your skin touches the base of her horns. “You could never hurt me. I’m alright, see? I’m okay, I’m with you, and I love you so much. Okay?”
Ganyu doesn’t answer. She weeps instead, her own fingers clutching so tightly at you that you feel little stings of pain where she’s holding onto you. But you can’t find it in you to complain. You don’t say anything, don’t move her away an inch. You simply wait, wrapping your arms tight around her like you could jeopardize your own life if you ever let go of her.
You don't know how much time you spend in that same position. Eventually, Ganyu’s breathing starts to even. She's still quietly weeping in your arms, and you keep dragging your fingers through her head, her neck and then her back, drawing figures, contouring her scars and bones, and caressing softly the skin on her arms.
Finally, her sobs stop at some point. Her breathing is calmer —she breathes in deeply and releases the air very slowly. It soon becomes a pattern, and you find yourself following it too, along with each breath she takes. After several minutes, you guess she's probably asleep. You cease with your caresses and open your eyes.
You look down at her, Ganyu’s eyebrows softly knight together, her puffy cheeks and pink nose, and the soft curve of her lips.
She stirs a little when you let go of her, stretching your arms above your head.
You stand up.
Maybe she wakes up in the middle of the night and she’s thirsty after all that exhausting crying session. You decide to go down to the kitchen and fetch a glass of water, trying to make the least amount of noise as possible. Ganyu deserves to rest.
When you make it back to the room, you find her sitting on the bed, playing with her fingers on her lap. Ganyu’s eyes quickly find yours.
You blink, visibly surprised.
“I thought you were asleep.”
“I, uh— I’m sorry I blacked out just now.” Ganyu looks down at her lap, apologetic. A couple of loose strands of blue hair fall over her face. Her voice sounds hoarse when she speaks. “And… I’m sorry for the trouble I caused you. It was just a meaningless dream, I shouldn’t have made a big deal out of it…”
You don't respond right away. Instead, you sit on the edge of the bed, Ganyu following your movements with her lilac eyes.
“Here, you should drink something.” You hand her the glass of water and Ganyu timidly takes it into her hands. You keep your eyes on her as she drinks the water in one go and places the glass on the bedside table. Her gaze returns to you. “I’m glad you told me. Though you could’ve told me sooner, you know you don’t have to hide painful feelings from me. You’re allowed to feel upset over a nightmare. I would’ve been upset if it was the other way around, and you would’ve been there for me, right?”
“I suppose you’re right.” Ganyu sighs. There’s no fighting your reasoning, she would be there to help and comfort you for any reason at all, big or small. Though it’s still hard for her to accept that there’s someone willing to go such lengths for her now. She’s slowly getting used to being valued and loved by you. “I’m sorry—“
“Stop apologizing, please.” You gently cut her off. You climb up in bed but, instead of lying down again, you sit up against the headboard of the bed. You open your arms wide, motioning her to follow. “Just, come here. Come hug me.”
Ganyu’s heart skips a beat when your words reach her ears, the faintest shade of pink blossoming under her cheeks, but she nods.
She climbs on the bed and sits between your legs, gently resting her back against your chest.
You wrap your arms around her waist, clasping your hands together with Ganyu’s on her lap, brushing softly with your thumb. Ganyu lets out a content sigh.
“How are you feeling?” You ask, quietly. Ganyu plops her head down on your shoulder, careful to not hurt you with her horns, closing her eyes briefly. Then, she draws a small and sweet smile.
“Better. Much better.” She says, and it feels true. Her heart beats steady and calm in her chest, fueled by your everlasting support and words of affirmation, the heartbreaking emotions she felt in her nightmare long forgotten. “Thank you.”
You hug her tighter from behind, snuggling your head into the crook of Ganyu’s neck, soft locks of blue hair softly tickling your skin. She smells sweet, gives you a sense of familiarity and home that fills your chest.
“I’m glad.” You whisper to her skin. “It was just a stupid dream.”
“If I may be so blunt as to be completely honest, I think…” Ganyu says, playing with your fingers on her lap, tracing up the contour and the shape of your knuckles, her heart beating steadily. “I think I know the reason why this dream shook me this much.”
You tilt your head waiting for her to continue.
Ganyu takes a small breath in, tugging at the fabric of her shirt. There’s no sense in being reluctant to open up now, not after the amount of honesty she’s displayed in front of you minutes before, so she gathers her courage and she opens her heart just enough for you to peek in.
“I think… No, I know that I’m… I’m scared that one day you won’t be with me; that you’ll leave or you’ll be taken away. That you’ll wake up one day and choose to leave me behind…”
As she speaks, Ganyu’s voice grows smaller, like she’s afraid of you hearing her secret insecurities, like you’d treat her differently at all.
“Why would you be scared of that?” You say, quickly going through your brain trying to find any clue as to why she feels this way. Maybe you said something that upset her and she never told you, or maybe you acted a certain way that woke feelings of distrust in her? You’re not sure. You want nothing more than to reassure her, so you tighten your hold around her ever so slightly, feeling the way Ganyu’s body sinks deeper into yours. “I love you. That hasn’t changed. Why would you lose me?”
“No, no. Please, don’t get me wrong, I— I love you too. So much.” Ganyu timidly says, the tips of her ears growing a faint shade of pink that you find absolutely adorable. “I just— I suppose I’m not used to this .”
“To what?” You press.
“To belonging.” Ganyu says, moving her head enough to lock your eyes with hers.
There’s a gentleness drawn all over them, lilac shining dim like the sky on a starry night, and you’d swear you were blessed by a shooting star the day you first lay your eyes on her.
Ganyu’s staring at you, her eyes focused on your soft expression, and the way you’re looking at her like she’s everything makes her cheeks feel warm in the most pleasant of ways.
You part your lips.
“It’s alright, you have all the time in the world to get used to it.” You say, gently cupping her cheek, not breaking eye contact. “I’m not going anywhere. Not tonight, not ever.”
Ganyu’s eyes fall to your lips, and her heart falters. She keeps her gaze there, mesmerized.
“Is that a promise?” She slowly whispers. If you weren’t sitting, your knees would feel shaky from the way those words have left her rosy lips.
“Come here.”
The words leave your mouth before you can process them, but your chest feels tight and your hands travel to Ganyu’s hips as she turns around and you pull her into your lap.
Ganyu straddles your thighs, her knees on either side of your hips, her arms resting on your shoulders, and you’re looking up at her like she’s a goddess descended from the heavens to grant you your most selfish wish.
Ganyu’s heart stammers in her chest, she can hear it behind her ears, her blood pumping electric waves through her veins, the anticipation pooling in her belly. She lowers her head just enough to press her forehead against yours.
Ganyu parts her lips and you stare, stare .
“Kiss me.” She whispers under her breath, sending all your thoughts into a spiral and you’d swear your skin is on fire. Ganyu leans further in with half-lidded eyes, clumsily bumping your noses together, scooping closer to you, to your lips—
You decide now is the perfect time to tease her.
You swiftly reach up, placing your lips against the smooth surface of her cheek.
Ganyu leans back, lilac eyes widened by the surprise. She rolls her bottom lip between her teeth, bashful.
“No, that’s not—“ She says, her cheeks colored the sweetest tone of pink.
“Oh, sorry.” You chuckle to her visible disappointment. “Did you want a kiss here?”
You say, leaning in and brushing your lips to the tip of her nose in a small kiss.
Ganyu wrinkles her nose, shaking her head.
“This wasn’t what I…”
You watch as she struggles to answer, lilac eyes darting around the room, her intentions very clear but she’s not bold enough to directly ask for the affection she’s seeking, her cheeks blossoming with colors like a crimson flower under your teasing gaze.
“Ah!” You pretend to finally understand. Ganyu closes her eyes when you cup her cheek, eagerly waiting for your lips on hers. Instead, you lean and plant a gentle kiss against her earlobe. “Perhaps here?”
Ganyu covers her face with her hands, visibly embarrassed, the tips of her ears growing a faint shade of red. You chuckle.
“Stop teasing me!” She mumbles, her voice muffled by her hands pressed against her face, trying to cover her expression from you as much as she can. You can feel her whole body trembling with denied anticipation. Her voice sounds mildly annoyed at you. “You’re being too mean to me.”
You laugh at her reaction, her embarrassment proving to be too much for your heart to handle, feeling the warmth of the love you have for her spreading all over your bones.
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop playing.” You say, defeated. Ganyu uncovers her face but she gives you a wary look, her brow slightly knit in distrust. You raise your hands innocently. “Trust me?”
“I’ll let it slide just this one time.” Ganyu says as a lopsided grin tugs at the corner of her mouth.
You reach up and place some rebellious locks of icy blue hair behind her ear, and you keep your hand there, resting against the angle of her jaw.
Ganyu slowly places her forehead against yours again, taking in her warmth, how good it feels your hand holding her face, how her heart starts beating more quickly with anticipation. She leans in, brushing your lips together painfully slow, lingering for a moment before—
You pull back, a mischievous grin splattered on your face when you see Ganyu’s eyes filled with disappointment and betrayal.
“I can’t believe you!” Ganyu scoffs, the air leaving her lips as her cheeks quickly bloom with bright crimson colors.
You raise your hands again, pleading guilty.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” You try to sound serious, but your goofy smile betrays you. “For real this time.”
“Just kiss me already—“
Ganyu grabs you by the collar of your shirt, colliding your lips together before you can tease her again.
Ganyu kisses you desperately, her tongue slipping over your bottom lip, and you can feel her frame shivering above you, her cheeks furiously dyed red. Ganyu hunches over you, locks of icy blue hair tickling your cheeks as they cascade down, and you kiss her back hotly, insatiably, craving, needing .
After a few minutes, Ganyu finally pulls back, breathless. Her chest rises up and down erratically, trying to ease the burning of her chest that slides down her veins, setting her whole body aflame. As she catches her breath, Ganyu’s tongue smoothes over her bottom lip, staring at your mouth again.
“Can I get another kiss?” She says, and you don’t even bother with replying, your whole body shivering under her.
You catch Ganyu’s lips again, and she feels her self-restraint crumbling, fingers shaking. Ganyu wants to melt for you. She wants you to soak her in your scent, mark her skin, her heart, her soul, all of her. She wants you to prove that you’re here with her, that you aren’t going anywhere else. She wants to feel completely and utterly yours .
You’re pulling her closer again, her mouth on yours, her breathing hot and troubled. She’s pulled into your lap, hips pressed against your stomach and her chest against yours. You kiss her life away, leaving kisses on her eyelids, her cheeks, her nose, her jaw— her lips taste like salt, like trust, like home .
When you break apart, Ganyu looks at you like you’re the most precious thing she’s seen in all her years roaming this earth, and your stomach flutters with butterflies.
“Your kisses mean the world to me.” She breathes out, pulling slightly away from you, enough to place her head on your shoulder, breathing heavily. “Did you know that? I’m not the most open person, but… I hope you know how much I cherish you.”
You open your mouth, your chest overflowing with feelings for her.
“Ganyu, I want you to know that I—“
Ganyu places a gentle finger on your lips, a tender smile drawn on her mouth.
“You don’t have to reassure me anymore. I know what you’re going to say.” She says, her voice sounding soft in your ears. “I’m certain of my feelings for you, and… and I am certain you return my affections. You don’t need to say anything for my sake.”
You look up at her, the way her light blue locks cascade down her shoulders, her solid horns peeking out of her hair, her lilac eyes framed by long eyelashes fluttering as she gazes at you, her chest rising and falling pressed close to yours, her heartbeat against your own skin.
“Then— Then let me say it.” You breathe out. “Because I don’t think I can live with myself if I don’t.”
Ganyu blinks twice, her hands reaching up to cup your face, gently brushing her thumbs over your cheeks.
You wrap your hands around her waist, securing her on your lap. Her eyes shine dim and peaceful like a lilac sky right after the sun sets.
“I love you.” You whisper breathlessly. “You’re the beginning and end to my everything, and I’d swear that a star was smiling down upon me the day that I first met you.”
Ganyu stares at you intensely, her hands tightening their grip around your face ever so slightly, and you watch as her lilac eyes start to pool with tears. But this time, the tears hold a completely different meaning.
“I love you,” Ganyu chokes out, lips red and heart upon her sleeve as if saying ‘kiss me, take me, hold me until all the years I’ve lived without you never existed’ . She presses your foreheads together, a tender lopsided smile drawing on her lips, heart overfilled with feelings she can’t convey. “I always have. I love you, I love you.”
It’s been hundreds of years. She can’t believe she’s finally found the one place that’s made for her —the one she knows she truly belongs to, now and forever— in your arms.