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The fear that the Sakusa family name struck into hearts was no secret. Whether it be from opposing business people hearing about the latest deal Kiyoomi's father or brother had made or women who feared the power his mother and sister held over politics and mindless men. Sometimes, to a very select group of people, the Sakusa family name held more fear behind it than others. Kiyoomi himself had feared what his name was linked to for most of his life.
He'd grown up knowing there was no way out of his place amongst the yakuza scene. Dirty alleyways and cheap deals, he'd loathed it all since he could remember. The way his father used his power underground to help his power in the business scene and how his mother used her sway in politics to make sure it ran smoothly. They were an arranged marriage made in heaven. A deal to keep more hands clean.
Kiyoomi was allowed to grow up near Tokyo with his cousins. Far enough away from where his father worked to keep them safe as children, but close enough to be convenient. He, however, was allowed very few connections with the children his own age.
"They're dirty, Kiyoomi," his mother would tell him as she wiped away every last tear. "You don't need connections that don't move you up in the world. They are a waste of your time."
At 7 years old, Sakusa Kiyoomi began to distance himself from childhood.
Komori was his only friend, and even he was often seen as a waste of Kiyoomi's precious time. Volleyball was out of the question when the boys had begged to play together. Sakusa was only allowed to go to a few of his cousin's games. He was never allowed on school trips or any sort of activity that would take him too far from his family's protection.
While Komori was practicing his fancy receives or trying to work on his other skills, Sakusa was learning how to hold a gun. How to protect himself. While other kids were learning about the history of Japan in museums or monuments, he was brought on underground business deals. Instead of fun facts he learned how to bargain. Instead of playing 20 questions on the bus rides he was taught how to run a proper interrogation.
He grew up as the freak of his classmates. Nasty rumors and names. Eventually the pain that was carried with them just faded out.
At 12 years old, he went numb to it all.
Which never helped his case. Being an outsider was oftentimes harder to deal with than anything his father threw at him. But it was always the same words from his mother. Kids his age were a waste of time. Dirty. Certainly nothing to cry about.
Truthfully, Kiyoomi was always rather jealous of Komori. He was close to so many people. Regardless of his association with his cousin. People flocked to him like thieves to jewels. Something so shiny and bright that they couldn't help but try to snag even a piece of it.
He'd watched enough people break his cousin's heart by the time they graduated that Sakusa was sure there really wasn't such a thing as love in this world. Everyone deluded themselves into thinking it was worth their time. It was all a lie. The only thing he had ever seen marriage be good for was business, his own brother and sister marrying off young to drag their family further into untouchable territory.
Sakusa would do the same after university, he'd been told. He would wait for his mother to find a suitable young woman for him to settle down with. Though the idea of living with a wife, for show or not, made his stomach twist the way a bad stomach ache did.
At 17 years old, he decided that his life was not something he controlled but a thing that was controlled for him.
University was the first time Sakusa was allowed to truly make his own decisions. He was a man. His father had clapped him on the shoulder and sent him off to follow in the family cover. Business school for a few small years of freedom and then back to Tokyo to move up in the ranks of the Sakusa clan.
And he was truly fine with that plan. It's all he had. There were no dreams allowed when you were destined for a path. He was fine being resigned to his fate.
He was fine playing pretend with Komori, who would drag him to parties, on double dates. Komori who came out to Sakusa as bisexual. Who laughed when he stared blankly at him, more confused than anything. And sometimes, he wished Komori never would have explained further.
At 18 years old, he told his cousin that he'd never thought girls were really all that appealing.
Sakusa Kiyoomi, destined yakuza boss and businessman, didn't give his life a second thought until he met Hinata Shoyo.
Ridiculously orange hair, dusting of freckles everywhere, the deepest brown eyes. He was bright, too bright. Brighter than anyone he'd ever met. Loud and open. As easy to read as a book and as shocking as a well written adventure. There was a new twist or turn on every page. He was perfect in every way that someone could be perfect.
Somehow, he was every single thing that Sakusa wasn't. He was his opposite and yet, he was something that he wanted so deeply to keep close.
There was one small problem. Hinata was a name Kiyoomi knew well. Another clan that his father was none too fond of.
Kiyoomi was a trained gang member. Talented in the art of resisting temptation for his own safety. He knew this was only asking for trouble. Being with Hinata was against every rule drilled into his very being. He had a traitorous heart and Kiyoomi was just a man. A man in love with the sun.
Somehow, Shoyo looked past it all. Never once had he looked at Kiyoomi the way anyone had his whole life. There was not disgust or fear, there was no love out of duty like his parents. There was no hatred that should have been there. No hostility. Shoyo looked at him with something warm and soft. Something that made his beating heart race a little faster. A constant reminder that he was no robot.
At 19 years old, Kiyoomi realized he was human. He was allowed to feel. To be happy. All because he had met his savior in the back of the economics lecture hall.
A freshman student who looked as pretty as any of the pieces of art hanging around his childhood home. Prettier.
Someone he was not allowed to want and yet, wanted so deeply. Someone that he lied to his own father for, a thing he'd never thought he'd do.
He spent most of his time with Shoyo. Komori tagged along more often than not. Together they were much too loud for Kiyoomi to handle, but the dull ache in his temples was hardly enough to drive him away.
With Shoyo came a large group of very loud, very annoying people.
The first that he met was a boy named Miya Atsumu. He had half a brain and an accent that helped Sakusa place where he'd grown up faster than he could place anything else about him. "Tsumu", as most people called him, was a wild card. He was annoying, and yet, Sakusa felt he could trust him with much more than most of the people in his life.
It came as a shock to him that there were two Miyas. A shock that was quickly replaced by disgust because Komori seemed to take a liking to joking about letting either of them "ruin his life".
It didn't come as much of a shock when Atsumu, who seemed to be a magnet for people, dragged them along to meet a bunch of people that Kiyoomi hardly remembered the names of. Something about old high school teammates, which finally let Motoya make the connection of where he'd seen the twins.
Komori gets far too drunk that night, far too giggly at Atsumu's god awful jokes and suddenly it becomes very apparent to Kiyoomi that he isn't getting rid of this new addition to his life anytime soon.
That night, Hinata drinks the most out of all of them. Sitting right next to Kiyoomi. He watches up close as the other practically drinks his body mass in alcohol. Somehow, he's still coherent by the end of the night. Komori has to be carried in between the twins, which turns into quite the mess when he can't remember which twin is which.
Osamu has the decency to at least try to play along when Komori winks at him and turns to tell Atsumu that he "has the fattest crush on Tsumu, but don't tell him".
Shoyo laughs at the look on Miya's face until he has to lean against Kiyoomi for support. And if Kiyoomi allows himself to laugh a little and pull the other in just a bit closer for the rest of their walk he'll blame it on the warm buzz of cheap beer in his system.
At 19 and a half years old to the day, Kiyoomi learns that he can forget about the fact that he's never felt accepted if he can keep these people for the rest of his life.
Sakusa is invited to celebrate the holidays with both the Miyas and the Hinatas. Atsumu teases him relentlessly about his final decision when he goes to his dorm to formally turn him down.
"I can't believe yer leavin' all of us fer Shoyo-kun!" He clutches his chest and leans up against the very thin dorm walls in a way that makes Osamu scoff and mutter something about how he's paying if he puts a hole in it.
Kiyoomi shrugs, "I like him better."
Osamu makes an ugly sound that turns into a laugh as Atsumu blinks at him, gloriously silent for a few moments.
"Omi-omi," he cries, "I'm yer best friend ain't I? I put up with ya and this is the thanks I get?"
Sakusa at least has the decency to try to look sorry. It really had been a difficult decision to make. It takes Atsumu all of two seconds to realize this and give his twin a glance. They seem to communicate silently before Atsumu looks back at him, something different in his eyes.
He looks like he wants to pat him on the shoulder, instead he says, "Next year, yeah?"
"Next year."
As he's leaving he hears Osamu say something about betting on how long it will take for something to happen but he can't quite catch it all over the sound of Atsumu laughing.
He spends the holiday with Hinatas family who are much gentler than he'd imagined them to be. Shoyo's father isn't in the picture, hadn't been since his sister was young. His mother had picked her children and their safety over whatever kind of life the underworld of Tokyo offered.
She has the kindness to look past his family name. Something that was growing more common in his life.
Shoyo spends his time telling her all about how they met and that they're going to room together next year if they can find a place to stay close to university. She promises to help them by keeping an eye out herself.
Dinner is a lot of joking and shoving and there is an instance of Natsu throwing a bit of food at her brother for asking about her love life. Kiyoomi expects it to be met with disapproval, instead their mother scolds them lightly for acting like children, hiding a smile in her eyes.
Gifts are small. Nothing like what he is used to at home. Most of them make the brightest smiles cross the family's lips. Exchanges of "you remembered" or "this is too much!". Shoyo hands him his own gift towards the end. A small box with a single mask in it.
Kiyoomi tries his hardest not to make a face. Tries to formulate some sort of thanks before Shoyo's bubbly laughter stops him.
"I'm kidding, Omi-san," he says, placing a hand on Kiyoomi's knee. It should bother him, being touched without permission, but all he feels is heat at the point of contact. "Here, this is from all of us. Mostly me, but all of us."
"Shoyo," his mother scolds gently, which earns her a cheeky smile.
He opens it as if expecting this was all some ploy to wipe his existence off the face of the Earth. Opens it like this was all a scheme, there was no divorce, no split. He's seen a handful of damn good actors in his own ranks. His mother can fake happy too. Always had.
He had to resist the urge to jump when the hand on his knee twitched.
Who did he think had handed him this neatly wrapped box? This was Shoyo. His Shoyo. With deep brown eyes that turned shades of almost orange in the light. With faded freckles that he knew would come back with the summer.
He tore into the rest of the wrapping, sliding the lid of the box off with gentle fingers.
It took him a moment too long to process what he was looking at, "I'm sure it's not as big as what you're used to but-"
"It's perfect."
Inside that little box was a simple string of beads that parted around a deep blue charm. Engraved with wishes of not luck but love. His thumb grazed over the designs long enough that the other seemed to remember something.
Shoyo's cheeks were pink when he finally looked up at him, "Mom said it would probably work just as well. We, uh, well I couldn't decide what to get you. By the time I did, I couldn't find any good luck charms."
Kiyoomi can’t even bother to shut him up like he normally does when he starts in on his rants. Can’t hear whatever comes out of Natsu’s mouth in a teasing tone that has her and her brother arguing at the top of their lungs again. He barely registers their mother jumping in to scold them with that same playful tone she’s had all night. And God, the scene makes his heart swell. It makes him feel a fuzzy sort of joy in his chest that he hadn’t felt since Komori told him he loved him for the first time and truly meant it.
That feeling, foreign and yet so unforgettable, is what makes the lump in his throat grow to a painful size, eyes watering where they are boring holes into the little charm.
Love.
“...yoomi-kun? Kiyoomi~! Omi-san!”
Hinata is there again, smile on his face. He feels too warm. Too fuzzy. Oh, God.
“Are you okay?”
“Fine,” he lies through his teeth because here, right on the floor of their family room, Kiyoomi is slowly realizing that he is in love with Hinata Shoyo. That Shoyo loves him, regardless of what way it might be.
They love each other and that’s plenty for Kiyoomi.
He thought.
At 20, Kiyoomi finally swallowed his racing heart back into his chest and got the words "Be mine," out of his trembling lips. And the smiles he'd been greeted with were worth every small bump that would come on their journey together. As long as he had the people who really mattered, life couldn’t be so bad. If the confession made an even better Christmas present than what he had originally planned, then that was for him and Shoyo to bicker about.
It was the night of his university graduation that he told his father he wouldn't be joining the family business. It was that same night that his father without hesitation told him that he would no longer be welcomed as one of his own. It was that night that he watched Hinata-san raise her tiny hand and slap a yakuza boss hard enough that he stumbled.
That was the last time Sakusa Kiyoomi had seen his father. He wished it was the last time he’d ever heard about him.
Three years later and a successful small business later, Kiyoomi was still hearing his father’s name everywhere. Billboards advertised new products with this family name displayed proudly. Radio ads even featured his father’s voice, charming as ever when speaking to the public, ranting on about his latest investments and how his products were guaranteed to be the highest quality.
Of course that’s not where the recognition stopped. He’d had to escort many angry patrons out the door of his business when they figured out who he was. More of them than he would have liked had to be threatened to leave. Not that he ever did that where anyone else would see. He had a family friendly establishment to run and a shop to keep up with.
Not to mention his own growing family. Shady individuals hanging around hoping to catch him in the act of meeting up with yakuza members just wouldn’t do.
None of that really mattered though. Not when everyday he got to come home to a wonderful boyfriend. He got almost weekly annoying calls from his cousin and his new boyfriend. Sometimes they had Osamu with them. He made a goal to call and check in on the Hinatas at least once a month if not more. Life was easy. Happy.
Kiyoomi had just finished cleaning up the counters from where they had been used to prepare dinner when the door opened.
“How was practice today?” He called out, awaiting a response like he always did. Eagerly and thinking through how every possible outcome could be dealt with.
Shoyo peeked around the corner, bright smile on his face, “Not bad. Although it was pretty tough today. Just couldn’t seem to get on the same wavelength as Tsumu.”
“Sort of hard to do that when neither of you really have a brain to work with, hm?”
That was met with Hinata’s very smelly, very damp shirt hitting him in the face. Which would have been a death sentence if he wasn’t so fond of him. He placed the shirt in the laundry room where they had agreed all of his practice and game attire would stay in its own basket to avoid making their bedroom smell more than it normally did. Though he’d lost track of if that smell came more from his often sweaty fiance or their dogs that, despite his trying, had never been trained to keep off the bed.
Shoyo was gone for just long enough to change into fresh clothes, a small courtesy for now until he had time to shower and properly clean up. It was a routine. Practiced for years, perfected from day one. Maybe that’s what made Hinata so loveable, the way he picked up on the needs of those around him and without question just did what he needed to do. He came back with three dogs on his heels, tails wagging like they hadn’t seen him for years. It had only been a few hours.
He had their most recent adoption in his arms, cooing like a mother trying to calm her upset child. Not that the spoiled brats were much less than human in his eyes. In their eyes, really, but he’d never admit it out loud.
“Sorry I took a while. They just wouldn’t leave me alone,” though Shoyo’s voice was anything but put out. He was smiling and laughing like being in the middle of a herd of dogs was his dream.
Omi smiled a little himself, couldn’t help it, “You weren’t too long. Must be mastering the skill of working around them.”
“Not much other option, is there?” He put the youngest down and like a signal, all four of their dogs ran off into the house.
The way he tried to wrap around him might have even been romantic if he didn’t smell like dog and lingering bits of sweat from practice. The squawk of betrayal when he was ushered away was more than cute, and maybe he only protested the act to see it. He was just a man after all. A man in love with the sun himself. He felt that being a little selfish sometimes was an okay thing to do when it meant the effort to get close to him was just doubled.
After he was done, in his own words, picking on Sho they shared a few quick kisses in greeting and then went about their own ways of setting the table. Another flawless practiced effort.
The table was done and there sat two plates of their food and four bowls of food for their dogs. Only the best for each. They’d made sure each of their specific needs were met. A long process but something felt right about it. The call of “dinner” had the four of them stampeding down the hall and messily climbing into chairs. Sakusa had never had much experience with hungry, unmannered children but he assumed this was as close as he’d ever get.
Shoyo had already busied himself with his own food, and a “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” joke was stuck on the tip of Kiyoomi’s tongue. He didn’t dare ruin the moment though. Not when he was never sure when it would end. With all of him, he hoped never.
“It’s bath night isn’t it?” The words made Sakusa sigh before he had even fully processed them. Bath night.
He supposed it was better than having actual children. The dogs never needed to be bathed as much as babies would but it happened more than once a week and that was enough to have Sakusa already feeling the exhaustion setting into his bones.
The dogs around them went still as well, waiting for an answer. And maybe that was why it was never as much fun for Kiyoomi as it was for Shoyo. He spent his days taking care of a shop. The most he did was lift a few heavier boxes that his employees couldn’t manage. He was nowhere near as athletic as his boyfriend. It was easy for him to keep up with three dogs and a squirmy puppy. Kiyoomi struggled.
He wanted to lie. To say that it wasn’t. Today had been a particularly long shift with a lot of complaints and having to tell people they weren’t welcomed back if they continued to talk to his staff in the way that they had. He’d come home with a headache and the urge to just order in or bug Osamu at his own business.
It’s not that the dogs didn’t like bathtime. On the contrary, they loved it. That’s what made it a hassle. They were too excited.
With a deep sigh Kiyoomi stood from the table to start clearing it, “It is.”
All four tails started wagging like they had understood what he said, and he was almost certain if Shoyo had a tail it would have been wagging just as much. He jumped up to go start the water and the dogs followed like they were going to offer a helping hand. Paw, he corrected himself with a sad little chuckle.
Dishes were easy and if he took a little longer than normal doing them, that was his own business.
When he joined his little family in the bathroom Shoyo was scrubbing the smallest dry. A little Shiba Inu that Atsumu had gifted them. He and Komori had found her on their morning jog, figured there was no one better to take care of her and make sure she grew up to be a healthy, happy dog than “the crazy dog couple”. And Kiyoomi couldn’t say no to two pairs of puppy dog eyes begging to let her stay. So she’d joined their family.
Next in line would be their more docile giant. A Golden Retriever they had adopted together when they had moved in together during college. She was sweet, secretly Kiyoomi’s favorite to nap with and walk because she listened much better than the other three. Not that he didn’t love them all.
She kept them both relatively dry and he got the honor of drying her off and later he’d get the honor of brushing her too because, much to Hinata’s protest, they both knew Kiyoomi was her favorite too.
Third to get a bath that night and probably the worst out of the bunch at keeping anything dry in the bathroom was their black labradoodle that Kiyoomi had heard far too many jokes about resemblance with. They had picked him up not long after they had graduated. He was a frequenter of the back alley of their shop looking for scraps. Neither of them had the heart to turn down a hungry dog who looked like he needed a good home.
He had Kiyoomi soaked head to toe by the time it was over and Hinata had spluttered soap out of his mouth so many times that he was sure he’d have to make him brush his teeth three or four times before he tried kissing him again that night. It’s not that he was a bad dog, on the contrary, he was sweet but maybe just a little too much. It was hard for him to grasp the concept that it was bathtime and not time for cuddles or playing.
Last of the night was somewhere in the middle of his siblings. A husky that they had adopted from the pound after a few days of volunteering. They had fallen in love with him and as much as Kiyoomi had said they didn’t have room in their tiny living space for another big dog, he’d known from the moment he saw him that he was going to be the third addition to their family.
He had a hard time grasping bathtime for the first part but after a few light scoldings he got the idea and calmed down enough that they could finish the night with less water outside of the bathtub than there already was.
After everyone had been successfully bathed, Sakusa stayed back to clean up the tub so that he and Hinata could take their own showers tonight. Shoyo took the four of them and some overly large towels into the living room to finish drying off and start on brushing or any other little needs they had before bed.
He joined him to find him trying his hardest to convince their golden retriever to let her brush him and the sigh he let out when he saw Kiyoomi made him laugh. He shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t help it.
They made quick work of finishing everyone up and leading them back into the guest bedroom that was less for guests and more for their dogs. Each of them had their own bed and space in the room. Though undoubtedly if they left their bedroom door open tonight they’d be joined by a few of them if not all by morning.
Kiyoomi was the last out of the room, leaving the door open just enough that one of them could open it with a paw if need be. The sound of the shower as he passed it and his boyfriend’s obnoxious singing told him that he’d have a few minutes to himself to get changed into dry clothes and get the rest of the house ready for the day’s end.
He did his rounds. The dishes that had been left to dry were put up and the table was wiped down. He tucked in all the chairs neatly again and made sure that the water bowls were topped off and fresh. He was mid-folding clothes that he had taken out of the dryer earlier when Shoyo joined him again. Arms around his waist and damp hair pressed in between his shoulderblades where he rested his head.
“Good shower?” He laughed when the only answer he got was a little hum. “Tired?”
Another hum.
Kiyoomi removed himself from the other gently, placing folded clothes back in the basket. They could wait until tomorrow.
“I’ll be right back. I want to shower agai-”
A warm hand grabbed his wrist, “You don’t have to. I can’t sleep without you here anymore.”
Neither of them really could. Some of the hardest times for them were when Hinata was on the road with his team. They called every night when he was. Fell asleep that way and woke up together. It was almost as good as the real thing. Almost.
Kiyoomi nodded, climbing in next to him. Another shower could wait until the morning as well, he supposed. Especially when the sun was begging him to stay right there with him. Warm and bright.
“You left the door open,” Shoyo muttered against his shoulder as the door across the hall creaked open.
Sakusa hummed when the bed dipped with a new weight. Their puppy. “I thought you were tired.”
Shoyo breathed out a little laugh as the Shiba wiggled her way in between them. Their hands kept interlocked and for now, their legs stayed tangled beneath the covers. This was enough. Just to know they were together was plenty.
At 27, Kiyoomi wondered if marriage would really be all that bad when love felt like this.
