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Izuku awoke, a scream ripping through his dry lips. His throat felt like a cheese grater with every ragged breath he took, and he felt a sob wrack through his whole body. They’d only been in the dorms for two weeks, and out of all those days, he’d only woken quietly twice, all the others he awoke, either crying, or screaming. And yet, no matter how loud he was, there was never a knock at the door, never a concerned classmate to check on him. It was selfish, he knows, to want someone, anyone to hear him beg for help, but when he needed them the most for selfish reasons, he was a ghost, they acted like they couldn’t hear him, acted like he hadn’t made a single sound, and he wished to know the answer.
Sure, if he was quirkless it would make sense. After all, when he was diagnosed quirkless, his mother either used him as a punching bag, or he simply didn’t exist in her life, and his father, oh how his fathers flames felt against Izuku’s torso and upper arms. The pain of a fist pounding his jaws, the pain of a kick to his knees.
The pain of his mothers quirk pulling apart his flesh with her quirk, pulling his browns out of their sockets with her quirk, the pain was unimaginable, and so, he had learnt to silence himself at home, walking like a ghost. He never made a sound getting up for school, never trod on a squeaky floorboard, managed to open his creaky door silently, managed to scream from a nightmare silently, managed to cry in pain from his mothers quirk in silence.
He’d learnt to make no sound unless needed, but now, at a school that accepted him, a school that didn’t laugh when he was in trouble, a school that comforted him when in the middle of a panic attack, he thought it would be different. He stopped being silent in the corridors, he’d learnt to finally make noise when pleading for help, learnt to finally let people hear his mumbling. And he’d felt he could trust them at his most vulnerable, but now, he’d learnt they were different from his old school, yes they soothed him in front of teachers, but behind closed doors, they let him beg for their help in his room, they let him feel safe, only for them to turn their backs on him when no teachers were around. They probably laughed behind his back, probably snickered when his screams ripped through his lips.
But he still smiled at them, still acted like he trusted them, he wouldn’t let them know that they were hurting him, he wouldn’t show them just how weak he is without them, he wouldn’t let them feel the victory of knowing they truly have broken his trust once again.
His teachers are different in U.A, but they still ultimately ignore him when he needs their help. His classmates are different at U.A, but they still hurt him, they still don’t care for him, and he never did have friends in U.A, not really anyway. Uraraka might still beam at him, but behind that smile, he knows now, is something malicious. Iida might remind him daily to eat a proper balanced meal, but he knows that’s just Iida’s responsibility as class rep. Shinsou might not act like Izuku is his enemy anymore, but still, he knows now, deep down, that Shinsou may not see him as the enemy, but instead see him as a lamb whilst he’s the wolf looking for easy prey.
He no longer has friends he can trust, he no longer has classmates that he can turn to, but he’ll act like he does, so that they never look at the way his mask cracks everyday. They won’t notice the way he silently yearns for his friends to care for him, they won’t ever notice the mask cracking to show the face of a lonely boy, because he won’t let them.
+++
Izuku got dressed silently, he placed concealer under his eyes, hiding the dark bruises, he brushed through his messy curls, placing his unruly hair into a tight poney-tail, ticked his shirt into his trousers, did the tie up properly, placed his blazer on, and folded the shirts collar over said plazer. He made sure no one could see any clues as to him rushing around the room, made sure to smooth out any creases in his uniform, before leaving his bare room.
Everyone else was still in bed, still asleep, and they’d be asleep for another hour, but he wanted to get to class early, before being greeted by his classmates. He didn’t want to deal with fake concerns early in the morning. He grabbed a juice pouch, finishing it off within seconds and throwing it in the bin, before leaving the dorms and entering the school building. He walked neatly towards 1-A’s classroom, glad to see it open, and sat in his chair.
He had just under an hour to himself, just under an hour to make sure that no one had any reasons to ask if he was alright. When he was sure everything was done, he dawdled around on his phone for a while.
Iida was the first to enter, and he gave Izuku a polite nod, and Izuku gave an over enthusiastic wave and smile in Iida’s way. Iida smiled brightly, before sitting down, now only twenty minutes before class starts.
“Deku-kun, is everything alright?” Uraraka asked, worry etched into her eyes.
Izuku smiled brightly up at her. “Uraraka-chan!” He exclaimed in greeting, waving brightly. She seemed to accept that answer. Even if it wasn’t actually an answer, and sat down in her respective seat.
More student’s filed in then, each one giving Izuku concerned glances, but all he had to do was smile and wave and they’d think everything was okay. Aizawa-sensei was harder to convince, constantly giving Izuku concerned glances, or just leaving his eyes to linger on Izuku longer than normal, and Izuku had no clue as to why, sure he was neater then normal, and yeah, sure he wasn’t mumbling, but that should be a good thing. It memes he’s not disrupting class anymore.
For heroic training, Izuku was paired up with Shinsou, and they were up against Toodoroki and Iida. They were doing stealth training, and Izuku and Shinsou were supposed to leave ground Beta without their opponents' notice. They had to start at the opposite end of the exit, and had to make their way over as quietly as possible, leaving no room for the opponents to catch them.
For the opponents to win, all the need to do is wrap capture tape around any part of their body. The other two don’t really need to be stealthy, but it could help them catch Shinsou and Izuku.
The last rule is that neither opponent is allowed to stay by the exit.
Izuku looked to Shinsou, and saw the boy give an exact replica of Aizawa-sensei’s smile and Izuku couldn’t help but understand Todoroki’s latest conspiracy theory of Shinsou secretly being Aizawa-sensei’s love child. He smiled at the thought of both their reactions to Todoroki’s theory, before shaking his head out of his thoughts.
“Ready?” Shinsou drawls out.
“Yes, Shinsou-kun.” Izuku nods excitedly, before a booming voice says to start.
It was pretty easy to be fair, Shinsou was naturally silent, probably due to his own upbringing, and so he knew how to stop and duck just in time, before someone saw him. Izuku, on the other hand, was tripping over everything in his fear of getting caught. Shinsou had to grab him by the elbows several times, before Izuku could fall and make a loud clattering noise, alerting Todoroki and Iida of their positions.
And then came Izuku’s biggest mistake, not looking where he was going, he didn’t notice it until it was too late. He kicked a large trash can, and Shinsou’s eyes widened in fear, knowing that Iisa was just around the corner, and neither would be able to outrun him, well Izuku might, but Shinsou wouldn’t. And yes, Izuku could carry Shinsou, but he felt Shinsou would probably rather not.
It was like the world slowed down for a split second, he and Shinsou holding their breaths, as the bin made quick haste to fall, and Izuku wished beyond wishful thinking, that it wouldn’t make a sound, and that’s when the bin landed, and no sound was emitted. Shinsou and Iziku had no time to wonder about the fact, and made quick work of escaping, just as Iida rounded a different corner, and the exit was in sight. Izuku looked to Shinsou, who looked back at Izuku, and they smiled widely, before breaking for the exit, no longer caring for moving silently. Neither realised that only one set of feet falling could be heard, the other set as silent as a strand of hair falling to the ground.
They heard the crackling of ice, and Izuku looked behind him to see Todoroki’s ice mere meters away, and they were so close to the exit. They ran faster, faster, faster until, “SHINSOU AND MIDORIYA WIN!!!” rang through the grounds, and the two of them collapsed to the ground, panting for air, and in the rush of excitement, both forgot about the silence of a metal bin falling to the ground.
+++
The rest of the day was uneventful, just more people faking their concern for Izuku. And soon, he found himself collapsing to bed, and falling asleep.
+++
‘Even with a quirk, you’re still just a useless Deku.’ Kacchan smeared, before an image flashed, Asui broke on the floor, her face decayed to be unrecognisable. ‘Even with the former number one’s quirk, you couldn’t save her.’
Another image flashed, this one of Aizawa-sensei bleeding out to death on the floor, too far gone to be saved.
Another image, one at the mall, tens of hundreds of bodies laying bleeding on the ground, Izuku staring at them, rubbing at his own bleeding throat.
Another image, Iida dead, a katan protruding from his neck.
Another image again, Kacchan being taken away, but this time, he’s dead, they're going to use his body for a nomu.
Another image, All Might dead at Kamino. AFO standing victoriously over All Might’s body.
Another image, Sir Nighteye, Lamillion, Eri and all his classmates dead.
‘It’s all because you’ll always be a quirkles deku. No one saves you when you need it, and you deserve it. You damned nerd, it was your fucking fault Sir Nighteye died, your fault Mirio lost his fucking quirk, your fault that Aizawa-sensei’s quirk will never be the same. And it’s your fault you couldn’t fucking save me in time, your fucking fault the symbl of Peace retired. You should have taken a swan dive off the roof like I fucking told you, before you messed everything up.’
+++
Izuku awoke screaming, panting for breath, sobbing his heart out, as he stumbled out of bed, ran to the dorm's bathroom, upchucked everything humanly possible, and flushed the toilet. It was silent, no noise to be heard, and he was grateful. He didn’t care at that moment that it was supposed to be impossible, just that no one would wake to the sounds of the loud noise of the toilet flushing.
He stumbled to the kitchen, and turned the coffee pot on, no longer caring for the silence it made, instead of the usual noise. He wanted silence in that moment, wanted to be drenched in nothing but quiet as sobs wracked his body. He quickly poured the coffee into a mug with shaking hands, and moved to the living area, and sat on the sofa. He didn’t care that the coffee burnt his mouth, didn’t care about the pain in his lungs as he tried to draw in a breath of air after finishing his coffee, all he was scared for were the words of his dream.
He sobbed louder, rocking his body back and forth, hugging his knees to his chest, and placing his chin on his knees. He couldn’t breath, but he didn’t care, couldn’t care.
He shook with suppressed sobs, and closed his eyes. Images of his dream flashed in his memories.
“Problem child?” Aizawa-sensei asked, and Izuku jolted from his position to meet worried brown eyes.
Izuku’s eyes widened in fear, and he fell backwards from his position, gasping for air that never came.
“Breath, kid.” Aizawa-sensei said, suddenly in front of him, and placing his hand atop his chest, and Izuku followed as close to the pattern as possible.
“S-s-sorry.” Izuku mumbled, looking at Aizawa-sensei’s arm, anywhere but his eyes.
“I can’t hear you, problem child.” His sensei said, and his eyes watered all the more.
“S-s-so-sorry>” He said, more loudly.
“Midoriya, kid, I think somethings going on with your voice.” His sensei said as gently as possible, and suddenly Izuku’s shaking his head vehemently.
“I’M SORRY!” He yells, finally looking at Aizawa-sensei, and he’s looking at Izuku with, is that confusion. Can the teacher really not hear him?
Fear spikes his heart, and he’s falling away from the teacher, falling onto the floor before he can catch Izuku, and in his heist to get away, get away from the nightmare, get away from the fear of silence, his back hits the small coffee table, sending it clattering away from the both of them.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He says over and over again, and finally Aizawa-sensei’s eyes grow in understanding, and suddenly his eyes blaze red, and Izuku yelps, fear once again hitting him. “I’m sorry.” He sobs, and suddenly arms wrap around him.
“Kid, quit apologizing.” His sensei whispers in his ears, slowly placing Izuku back on the sofa.
“I-i-i-i-”
“Shhhh, it’s okay kid.” Aizawa-sensei whispers, smoothing his green locks away from Izuku’s sweaty forehead.
“Wh-wh-why c-c-cou-coudn-couldn’t y-y-you h-h-hear m-m-me-e-e?” He stutters out.
“I think you have a new quirk, or maybe even an old quirk we just haven't realised you’ve had.” Aizawa-sensei says, and Izuku’s breath hitches, and his eyes widen.
“M-m-my f-f-friends.” He stutters out, hoping to hit his eyes. “Th-th-they ne-ne-never mea-meant t-to h-h-hurt me?” He asks hopefully.
“Why would they hurt you kid?”
“Th-th-they i-ig-ignore m-m-my sc-screams a-at n-n-night.” He stutters out in a whisper, and suddenly Aizawa-sensei’s clutching at his shoulder tightly.
“They’d never ignore you intentionally, kid.” Aizawa-sensei mumbles quietly, and Izuku launches himself at Aizawa-sensei and cries into his chest, and slowly, as if scared to harm the kid, Aizawa-sensei wraps his arms around Izuku and let’s the kid cry himself to sleep, and in that moment, Aizawa promasis to hurt anyone that ever dared to or will ever dare hurt his problem child.
+++
That’s how Yamada and Shinsou spot Aizawa and Izuku. Yamada makes sure to take many many pictures of the sleeping husband and the hero to be, whilst Hitoshi put this image of his friend and his dad on his mental blackmail list, so that if ever his dad won’t let him drink coffee, he can just say he’ll tell Nemuri.