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2015-02-15
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1/1
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Ninety-Eight Percent

Summary:

“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Niall chokes out, actual tears welling in his eyes. Liam hates him. A lot.

“This website is bullshit,” Liam grumbles. “Niall this can’t be real. How am I ninety-eight percent compatible with Louis Tomlinson?”

--

In which Louis is Liam's soulmate and Liam is really not amused.

Notes:

Starting off with: THIS IS A ZAYN/LIAM FIC I SWEAR LIKE 100% PROMISE.

Thank you to everyone who sent me ideas for a Valentine's Day fic, I'm sorry I didn't use any of them. I've been watching too much Parks and Rec recently, and that is literally the only reason for this.

Thanks to Husky for the quick beta. All other mistakes are my own!

I do not own One Direction and this is obviously fictional.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Liam’s not planning on running into Zayn in the copy room. Like, fine, maybe he knows that Zayn goes in there every day at 12:30 to make copies for Ms. Watson, but he’s totally not thinking about that as he steps into the small room with a stack of papers from Mr. Cowell. They’ve been on his desk all morning, and it’s purely coincidence that the first chance he’s gotten today to copy them coincided with Zayn’s daily trip.
 
“How’s it going, Liam?” Zayn asks with a grin when Liam walks in. He looks effortlessly beautiful with his dumb new undercut and his dumb short-sleeved button up that displays all his dumb tattoos. Really, no one should be able to blame Liam’s dumb heart for beating a bit harder at the sight of him.
 
Liam shrugs, fiddling with the machine next to Zayn’s and trying not to stare at him too creepily. “Oh, y’know. Been working on proposals as usual. Had a meeting today, but it was basically just an hour of Harry asking shit questions and confusing the hell out of Grimshaw.”
 
Zayn snorts out a laugh and it’s definitely not the cutest thing Liam’s ever heard. “Not surprising. How are your proposals? I can like, look over ‘em again if you’d like?”
 
Zayn’s leaning against the copier as it does it’s thing, arms crossed at his chest. He looks cool and casual in a way Liam feels like he never manages to himself. It’s a bit intimidating almost how Zayn makes him feel so hot under the collar just by standing there.
 
“Um, sure,” Liam grins, hoping it’s not obvious that he’s internally freaking out just a bit. “They’re not due for a couple days so maybe we can grab dinner or something after work? Discuss ‘em then?”
 
The easy smile on Zayn’s face slips and Liam feels his stomach fall, wishing immediately that he can take his words back. Fuck, why does he never think before he runs his mouth?
 
“Dunno, um -” Zayn hesitates, worry his bottom lip between his teeth. Usually the sight would probably send Liam’s heart into a frenzy, but right now it just feels like someone’s got a strong grip it on it, squeezing it tight in his chest. “I’m kinda like busy in the evenings? I can just look at ‘em when I have a free minute one day if that’s okay?”
 
“Right,” Liam says, voice all small and tight. He grabs his papers from the copy machine, not really caring if they’re done or not yet. “Just come by my desk whenever.”
 
“Liam -”
 
Liam’s out of there before Zayn can finish. He’s not really sure what Zayn could say right now to make him feel like he hasn’t made a huge, stupid mistake.
 
--
 
Like he does whenever he’s trying to push something out of his mind, Liam throws himself into his work. He types out proposals and runs errands for Mr. Cowell and does his best to avoid Zayn’s eye across their small office space. He hasn’t even realized he’s skipped lunch until Niall perches himself on the edge of Liam’s desk, placing a bag of food from the commissary in front of him.
 
“Everything alright?” Niall asks pointedly because Niall knows Liam better than probably anyone in the world. “You haven’t taken a break in hours.”
 
Liam smiles a little sheepishly, face heating up when his stomach gives a loud growl. Niall just raises an eyebrow at him, pushing the bag closer to Liam.
 
“‘M fine,” Liam mutters, taking a huge bite from the sandwich Niall’s gotten him. “Just busy.”
 
“Right, so this has nothing to do with you asking Zayn out in the copy room today?”
 
Liam chokes a bit on his food. “How do you know that?” he yelps around a cough.
 
Niall just grins at him. “Word gets around, Leemo.”
 
“Harry told you, didn’t he?”
 
“That’s not important,” Niall shakes his head, still smiling. “Point is, Zayn’s an idiot. You’re also an idiot, but I was your friend first so for now we’ll pretend only he’s an idiot.”
 
Liam smiles weakly. He knows Niall’s trying to make him feel better, but Liam’s not sure if this is really what he needs right now. He thinks he needs a bit of time to wallow. And maybe some Ben and Jerry’s.
 
“Thanks Niall, but really it’s -”
 
“No, listen, Liam. I’m going to find you a date. It’s almost Valentine’s Day, eh? I swear by next week I’ll set you up with someone who deserves you,” Niall insists sincerely. His forehead is all scrunched up, nose crinkled just a little like he’s in deep thought.
 
Suddenly his features smooth out and Liam feels a bit of nervous curl in his gut. That look never bodes well. It’s the same look Louis gets when he’s planned another “prank of the century” to get under Cowell’s skin.
 
“I have an idea,” Niall beams. “Oh God, Leemo. May be the best idea I ever had.”
 
“What is it then?” Liam sighs. He opens the packet of crisps in his lunch bag. He has a feeling he may need the comfort food.
 
“Have you tried online dating?”
 
Liam already hates where this is going.
 
--
 
After some poking and prodding from Niall, Liam reluctantly sets up a profile on some site that Niall’s found and promises is reliable. He picks a recent picture of himself that he thinks he looks a bit more than decent in and fills in the questionnaire as sincerely and honestly as he can.
 
Apparently it’s not enough.
 
Liam stomps into the office the next morning in a frenzy, approaching Niall’s desk and slamming a printout down on it with a bit more force than necessary.
 
“Liam! How’s that dating website?” Niall asks in excitement, but his face falls when he actually takes a proper look at Liam. “Erm, did something go wrong? Did you not get any matches?”
 
“Oh yes,” Liam says, voice surprisingly calm given the circumstances. “I got a few. But there was one that I was very interested in.”
 
He pushes the paper toward Niall again. Niall picks it up in curiosity, face turning pink and then darkening closer to red before he bursts out in laughter.
 
“You - oh my God. Ninety-eight percent, oh my God -”
 
“This isn’t funny, Niall,” Liam hisses. Niall’s still cackling in laughter, drawing the attention of some of the people seated near him. Liam’s sure that if they weren’t in the office, he would literally be rolling around on the floor.
 
“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Niall chokes out, actual tears welling in his eyes. Liam hates him. A lot.
 
“This website is bullshit,” Liam grumbles. “Niall this can’t be real. How am I ninety-eight percent compatible with Louis Tomlinson?
 
The question just sends Niall into another fit of laughter. Liam really, really hates him.
 
--
 
The thing is, despite their rocky start, Louis is Liam’s mate now. They’re close as anything and Liam loves him but Louis can never ever find out about this or Liam will never ever live it down. Ninety-eight percent. Soulmate level compatibility.
 
Liam leaves Niall still laughing at his desk and starts his work for the day. Every once in a while he chances a few peeks at Zayn - who looks stupidly beautiful as always - and determinedly ignores the fact that some dating website has decided that him and Louis are made for each other.
 
Liam’s going through a stack of files that need to be sorted by the next day when he hears footsteps approaching his desk and a much too delighted voice say, “Payno. Fancy a break?”
 
Liam looks up from his work and instantly regrets it. Louis’s standing there in front of him with flowers and a box of takeaway and his most shit-eating grin and Liam really hates his life.
 
“Louis, go away,” Liam groans. “Fucking Niall. Going to murder him.”
 
“C’mon, Liam” Louis tuts, pulling a chair up to Liam’s desk and sitting across from him. “Can you really be mad at him for bringing together soulmates?”
 
“Yes,” Liam glares. “Louis, this really isn’t funny.”

“I never joke about love,” Louis says rather seriously, holding the flowers out to Liam. “You can’t argue with the internet, Liam. We’re meant to be.”
 
Liam takes the flowers from Louis a bit roughly, and if he wasn’t so ticked off he would probably admit that they’re rather lovely. The takeaway’s also from Liam’s favorite Indian place down the street, which is rather sweet, but still.
 
Louis starts to unpack the curries he’s gotten them, and okay, Liam’s hungry and it just smells so good. There’s nothing wrong with having lunch with one of his best mates, even if he knows that Louis’s motivation is at least partly to just take the piss.
 
“Listen, Liam, I have a plan,” Louis starts once they’ve begun tucking into their lunch.
 
Liam nearly groans because last time someone had a plan, he got matched with Louis as a soulmate. “Louis -”
 
“No, Liam,” Louis interrupts, brandishing his fork toward Liam in a manner that would be threatening if there wasn’t a bit of curry spilled on the collar of his button up. “Look, Zayn is at least ninety-eight percent in love with you.”
 
“What?” Liam splutters out. He ignores Louis’s obvious jibe because he’s heating up uncomfortably fast. He’s pretty sure it’s not because of the curry.
 
“Zayn’s an idiot, I don’t know why he didn’t say yes to going out with you. But this! We can use this to our advantage.”
 
“I really don’t see how this is supposed to help at all,” Liam says warily. Louis’s ideas have a tendency to blow up in their faces, and Liam feels like this is going to be one of those situations even if he has no clue what Louis’s going on about.
 
“Give it a few minutes, and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about,” Louis grins wolfishly.
 
Liam has a sinking feeling in his gut like something is about to go wrong, and it’s confirmed when Zayn walks into the office, eyes widening when he spots Louis at Liam’s desk.
 
Liam’s mouth dries up a bit at the sight of him. He’s got another one of his short-sleeved button ups on, pinstriped today as opposed to the solid one he’d had on the day before. His hair’s up in a neat topknot and he’s got his glasses on today, making him look more sophisticated and intimidating than usual. Liam wants nothing more than to make Louis disappear so he can dramatically clear his desk and shove Zayn against it like they’re in some low budget porno.
 
It takes a second for Liam to realize that Zayn’s marching towards them, face pinched. He doesn’t look angry exactly, but his expression is sour in a way that Liam’s never seen it before.
 
Louis rather doesn’t notice Zayn’s displeasure, or doesn’t care at all, because he simply beams with a, “‘Lo, Zayn. How’s it going?”
 
“What the hell is going on here?” Zayn asks, looking between Louis and Liam, lips turned down in a deep frown.
 
It dawns on Liam that between the flowers and the takeaway it must look like they’re on a date or something and he panics, his eyes widening, because no, that’s what’s happening here.
 
“Zayn it’s not -”
 
“Liam’s my soulmate,” Louis cuts off with his usual sharp grin. “Have you not heard?”
 
“What are you talking about?” Zayn hisses.
 
Louis takes a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, and Liam catches a glimpse of it quickly before blanching. This is what hell must be like, he thinks briefly as Zayn takes the sheet from Louis. His own personal hell where Louis ruins what little chance he may still have had with Zayn.
 
Zayn looks at the sheet briefly with a blank expression. It’s hard to say exactly what he’s thinking except he’s clutching the paper so tightly, his knuckles are turning white. Liam really hates his life.
 
“Right,” Zayn says stiffly handing the printout from the dating site back to Louis. “Go back to your - whatever this is.”
 
He turns around quickly, marching to Caroline’s office with her papers under his arms. His shoulders are stiff and tense and his steps quick. Liam feels sick to his stomach.
 
“How the fuck is this supposed to work to our advantage,” Liam growls, kicking Louis’s chair under his desk. “Louis what the fuck -?”
 
Louis just laughs. “Liam, Zayn is my best mate. Trust me when I say I know what I’m doing.”
 
Liam’s pretty sure that he should’ve learned long ago not to trust Louis Tomlinson. No matter how compatible the internet may think they are.
 
--
 
Liam’s absolutely miserable the rest of the day and the day after that as well. Their office really isn’t too big, and it’s hard to avoid Zayn when he’s just a few desks away. They both keep their heads down for the most part though, trying not to meet each other’s eyes whenever they cross paths.
 
There’s a big team meeting Friday afternoon though, and the whole office piles into one of the larger conference rooms together. Liam takes a seat next to Niall as usual, and Louis occupies the other side of him before he can say anything.
 
“Having a good day, Payno?” Louis asks, slinging an arm over Liam’s chair casually. Liam stiffens under his touch.
 
“Not particularly,” Liam grumbles. He looks towards the door, and of course it’s just as Zayn’s walking in.
 
Liam’s stomach turns uncomfortably as Zayn eyes Louis’s arm around Liam. He takes a seat across the table next to Harry and Liam sighs.
 
The meeting drags by painfully slow, most of it just Cowell droning about budgets and numbers and things Liam really can’t concentrate on for the moment. It’s hard with Zayn’s gaze on him the whole time, cold and steely. It’s even worse when Louis leans in close to Liam, whispering in his ear and despite everything, making him giggle with dumb comments about Harry’s heart-eyes towards Grimshaw or Cowell’s hair or how Niall’s dozed off beside them.
 
Liam’s ready to dart out of the room as soon as the meeting’s over but Louis insists on walking him out, a hand on the small of his back the whole time out. They don’t make it too far out the door before Liam hears someone calling his name.
 
“Liam, can I talk to you?” Zayn grits through his teeth.
 
He’s sending harsh glares toward Louis who only blinks innocently before widening his eyes. “Oh you mean alone? Don’t keep him too long. I demand at least ninety-eight percent of his time every day.”
 
Louis lets out a cackle as Zayn rolls his eyes, pushing Liam back into the empty conference room and closing the door behind them.
 
“Um, hi,” Liam says a bit dumbly because now Zayn’s glaring at him and it’s sort of hard for him to think.
 
“What the hell, Liam? What are you and Louis doing? Are you two -?” Zayn hisses, leaning against the table with his arms crossed, much like the other day in the copy room.
 
“No!” Liam exclaims quickly. “Nothing’s happening between me and Louis for God’s sake. Do you really think that we would do that?”
 
“I didn’t, but apparently you guys are fucking soulmates or whatever -”
 
“Oh my God,” Liam groans. “It’s a dumb dating website, Zayn. It doesn’t mean anything. I asked you out literally the day before this started. I’m not like in love with Louis or whatever.”
 
“That’s what’s got me so bloody confused.” Zayn glares. “You ask me out and then you start looking around dating sites and clinging onto Louis? What the hell?”
 
“I went on that website because you said no,” Liam snaps. “And because Niall told me to. And I was not clinging onto Louis.”
 
Zayn deflates a little, the tension in his shoulders slipping a bit as he stares at Liam sheepishly. Liam sighs, plopping down on the chair next to where Zayn’s standing.
 
“I did say no, didn’t I?” Zayn asks.
 
“Yeah, was a bit surprised, to be honest,” Liam admits. “I mean I’d probably be more surprised if you said yes considering that, well, I’m really nothing special and there’s no reason for you to say yes,” he adds with a shrug.
 
Zayn’s mouth dips down in a frown, his eyebrows furrowing. “What do you mean you’re nothing special? Liam, what the fuck? You’re the most amazing person ever.”
 
“Apparently not amazing enough for you to go to dinner with me,” Liam scoffs.
 
“Liam, there are like rules and stuff. We could lose our jobs,” Zayn says softly. “I didn’t want to like, put us in a position like that.”
 
“I don’t care,” Liam says. He shakes his head. “Or like I care if I lose my job. But I also don’t care. Zayn, I like you. I’m pretty sure I’ve liked you since orientation when we had lunch at McDonalds because it was we could afford as unpaid interns. And I like you even more now and I just - I want to be with you.”
 
Zayn’s face softens and he’s worrying his lip between his teeth again like he’s considering something. He pushes himself off the table, making a space for himself between Liam’s legs instead.
 
Liam’s breath hitches, because Zayn is so close. Zayn’s long fingers are tugging carefully on Liam’s tie and his bright eyes are tracing Liam’s face like he’s trying to memorize every part of it, just like Liam’s tried to memorize every part of Zayn’s.
 
And then Zayn’s leaning forward. His mouth is soft and dry, his beard scratchy against Liam’s cheek. Liam kisses back eagerly, digging his fingers into Zayn’s hip and trying to pull him closer. Zayn’s still got his grip strong on Liam’s tie, pulling him in. Zayn bites on Liam’s lip and their noses bump slightly when Liam tilts his head a bit to the side. Liam feels so warm, not exactly like he’s on fire, but like he’s wrapped up in a blanket fresh out of the dryer.
 
“I want to be with you too,” Zayn admits when they part. “So much, Liam. There’s literally nothing I want more.”
 
“Let’s do it then,” Liam says, “you and me. Just dinner for now, yeah? Are there office rules against dinner?”
 
“I’m ninety-eight percent sure there’s not,” Zayn says, giggling when Liam digs his fingers into his side.
 
“And I’m not ninety-eight percent sure I’m already fucking sick of that joke.”
 
Zayn laughs more loudly, and Liam stifles the sound by pressing their mouths together again.
 
--
 
They stumble out of the conference room a bit more ruffled than they went in, Liam’s arm around Zayn’s waist and Zayn’s face tucked into the crook of Liam’s neck like it’s meant to be there.
 
Louis’s waiting out there with a sly smile on his face immediately asking, “Did it work? Did you snog in there or -?”
 
Zayn jumps away from Liam quickly, relaxing when he realizes it’s just Louis. He glares then though, stomping toward Louis and punching him hard in the arm.
 
“What the fuck?” Louis yelps. “I give my soulmate to you and this is how you repay me?”
 
“Louis Tomlinson you absolute arse,” Zayn growls, punching him again, and then a third time for good measure. “You are actually the worst best mate ever.”
 
“Worst or best?” Louis grins brightly. “Because your lips say worst but the hickey on Liam’s neck says best.”
 
Liam covers his neck with a bashful grin. “No, definitely the worst,” he says.
 
Louis just shrugs, beaming at the both of them as they walk back towards the office. “You’re welcome.”
 
Niall’s sitting at his desk, looking over some papers with Harry when they get there, and he mirrors Louis’s grin when he takes a look at Liam.
 
“Nice love bite, Leemo,” Niall laughs loudly, and Liam groans clutching at his neck again. “Told you I’d find you a date by Valentine’s Day. I have a ninety-eight percent success rate with this kind of stuff.”
 
“I’m a hundred percent sure I hate all of you except Zayn,” Liam mutters.
 
“Heeey, I didn’t even do anything,” Harry pouts, only causing Niall to laugh louder.
 
Zayn giggles against Liam’s shoulder, breath hot against Liam’s skin, and it sends a thrill coursing through Liam. Liam’s always known that online dating isn’t for him. He’s ninety-eight percent sure he doesn’t need a computer to find his soulmate.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!! Comment/kudos are, of course, appreciated. Follow me on tumblr at sunshinexbomb.