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Really, you and...him?
Poe’s heard it at least once every day this week. When his friends react, they can’t even bring themselves to say the name out loud. Like it’s connected to a curse. Look in a mirror, say “Armitage Hux” three times fast, then watch him appear and grab you… aaagh!
Nobody in Poe Dameron’s circle of friends believes this relationship will last the month.
Poe Dameron doesn’t own a tie. Armitage Hux owns all of them.
Poe Dameron holds off on laundry until he’s basically down to his swim trunks and a letterman jacket that hasn’t fit him in twenty years. Armitage Hux always looks like he’s stepped off the cover of GQ. Never the same outfit twice.
Poe Dameron once followed the Foo Fighters on tour. Armitage Hux has a subscription to the Metropolitan Opera.
Poe Dameron can belch the national anthem on the strength of one bottle of Blue Moon. Armitage Hux sits in velvet-upholstered wingback chairs and sips twelve-year-old Scotch.
Heads all around Poe shake in bewilderment. Rey, Finn, Rose… they have a private pool going to determine when this odd couple will finally and spectacularly split. Everybody’s agreed it will go down on Karaoke Night at the Cantina, in front of the entire company gathered together for Lando Calrissian’s retirement sendoff. Just a matter of the time.
When the golden couple arrives, the countdown begins.
***
Really? You and Poe?
They say his name like it ought to have four letters.
Armitage long ago stopped acknowledging the question from well-meaning friends. They spoke his name with derision -- not unkind, just… well, the way one reacts when taking a bite of a sweet expecting vanilla and instead getting banana. To his friends, Armitage’s new relationship is worthy of a surprised wince.
Nobody in Armitage Hux’s circle of friends believes this relationship will last the month.
Armitage Hux is all pleats and silver cufflinks and Mozart. Poe Dameron is a Levi jeans commercial with a Bob Seger soundtrack.
Armitage Hux owns specific forks for eating salad, fruit, and oysters. Poe Dameron will lick the Buffalo wing sauce off your fingers if you let him.
Armitage Hux can name every Supreme Court justice. Poe Dameron can name all of the Three Stooges. By the way, there were actually six, he’ll tell you.
Armitage Hux uses a device -- no kidding -- for opening pull tabs on aluminum cans in order to preserve his fingernails. Poe Dameron’s right thumb and forefinger are permanently stained orange due to his love of Cheetos.
Heads all around Armitage shake in bewilderment. Ben, Phasma, Dopheld… they have a private pool going to determine when this odd couple will finally and spectacularly split. When they learn of a similar grid happening among Poe’s department, the money is combined and the stakes significantly higher. Each person with skin in the game is fantasizing about what they’ll buy with their winnings when Poe and Armitage take the stage together for the first number.
Don’t go changing to try and please me…
The two men take turns with the verses. They don’t acknowledge their friends in the audience because they are too rapt with each other to care.
I don’t want clever conversation...
Poe has eyes only for Armitage in this moment, and vice versa. As they sing to each other, it’s clearly straight from their hearts.
I said I love you, that’s forever…
They’re singing together by this point, standing toe to toe with fingers clasped. They are the only sound in the bar. Hands hold utensils still, patrons silence phones. Even the ice in all the drinks recognizes the need to keep it down. Everybody gathered for Lando’s retirement party is watching the stage as two people who seem horribly wrong for each other mesh oh so perfectly.
I want you just the way you are.
As though that explains everything, and it does.
The song ends with a kiss, and wild applause.
All the money in the pool goes toward buying the night’s drinks. Scotch for Armitage, Blue Moon for Poe.