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“Hey, Sirius?”
Sirius grunted a response, not bothering to look up from the transfiguration essay he was working on. Lately he and Remus had started to study together and now Sirius actually had to do his homework to be able to keep up with him. James made fun of him for it, but it was worth it to see the proud smile that appeared on Remus’s face every time Sirius got a good grade on an assignment.
“Do I look alright?” Remus asked.
He looked up and studied the boy for a moment. Remus was dressed up in a soft green sweater that made his eyes look brighter, and loose dark jeans that were just tight enough to hug him right. Sirius licked his lips and flicked his eyes back up to Remus’s.
“You look great.” He croaked out.
A relieved look appeared on Remus’s face and a small smile appeared on his face.
“Thanks.” He exhaled.
“Um..why?”
“Oh, I have a date!” Remus exclaimed with an excited smile.
Sirius froze. A date? Remus was going on a date? With who? And why?
“What? With who?” Sirius demanded.
Remus’s smile became uncertain. “Uh...Francis Clark. I met him in the library and we got to talking.”
“Francis? What kinda pansy name is Francis?” Sirius eye twitched. Here he was...studying for Remus and he was going on a bloody date with some pansy named Francis.
“It’s not a pansy name! I like it and I like him. He’s nice.” Remus said defensively.
“Nice” Sirius sneered. He didn’t know why he was so peeved all of the sudden but it felt like the ground was falling from underneath his feet.
“Yeah! Nice!” Remus flared his nostrils. “And attractive and I’m going on a date with him.”
“Great! Go then!” Sirius snapped. No, don’t go, stay here with me instead. The thought ran through his mind and Sirius squashed it not wanting to analyze it any further.
“I will!” And with that Remus stormed out of the dorm with a slam of a door.
Sirius picked up his quill and started back up on his essay, writing harder than necessary.
****
Later in the evening, Sirius had finished his essay and moved down to the common room to glare at the fire, it was much more interesting than glaring at the wall in his dorm room.
“Hey, Padfoot,” James greeted, interrupting Sirius’s brooding. “Where’s Moony?”
“On a date.” Sirius muttered, through a clenched jaw.
“A date? Well, good for Moony!”
“Yeah, good for Moony.” Sirius repeated hollowly. Good for Remus, not good for Sirius. He felt hurt and angry and confused. He should be happy for Remus but all he felt was anger towards this Francis individual. Everything felt out of place, Sirius wasn’t the type to get overly caught up in feelings and yet here he was unable to stop thinking about what Remus was doing on his date, and if he was smiling that breathtaking smile that’s usually reserved for Sirius or if he was going to kiss Francis or if-Sirius rubbed his chest in a vain attempt to ease the knot of pain that was building.
“Sirius? Are you alright?” James’ concerned voice rang in his ear.
“Peachy.”
****
“Sirius, wake up! We’re gonna be late!” Peter shook him awake.
Sirius groaned and got up and blinked blearily. He had barely slept the night before, too busy thinking about Remus and what he had been doing on his date. He had come back late and gone straight to bed before James had the chance to grill him for answers.
Sirius showered and dressed in a fugue and walked to the Great Hall in silence, lost in thought.
“There he is!” James exclaimed when he sat down next to him. “With how late you slept, you would’ve thought you were the one with the late night.”
“Ha ha you’re so funny James! Where do you come up with this stuff?” Sirius replied sarcastically.
“It just comes naturally. I’m just that clever I guess.”
Remus snorted and Sirius shot his gaze his way before turning back his food.
“Anyways, Moony, how was the big date last night?” James asked and Sirius shoved some bacon into his mouth.
“Nice, I guess.” Remus replied softly.
“Oh, come on! You gotta give us more than that! You stroll in at one am and you expect us to not ask for details?”
“Nothing happened, we just...talked.”
Sirius pressed his lips together and shoved his plate away, no longer hungry.
“‘Talked...sure.” James said unbelievingly.
“It’s the truth!” Remus insisted.
“Uh huh, are you believing this Padfoot?” James said, nudging Sirius with his arm.
“Honestly, I don’t care what Remus did or didn’t do with Francis.” Sirius said stiffly.
James stared at him incredulously. “Are you feeling alright? You’re always up in Moony’s business and finally he has something interesting going on and you ‘don’t care’?!”
“You seemed to care last night.” Remus stated, raising an eyebrow in Sirius’s direction and Sirius glared.
“Wha- What is he talking about?” James asked, looking between the two of them in confusion.
“Sirius got all heated about me going on a date last night.” Remus explained.
“What? Why?”
“Because his name was Francis,” Sirius scoffed, “Francis! Possibly the stupidest and pansiest name to ever been given any male on this God given Earth! And you went on a date with him!”
“It’s not a pansy name! You’re just being a dick!” Remus said hotly.
“Oh well ex-cuse me for caring if my friend is going out with a panty wearing pansy!”
“You know wha-” Remus was cut off by James interrupting them.
“Ladies! Ladies! It’s alright.”
“No, it’s not James! Remus is going out with some idiot named Francis, who probably isn’t going to treat him right or know any of his favorite things like what kind of jam he likes on his toast, or which quills are his favorite to write with, or even how he color codes his socks and it’s dumb that Remus can’t see that there are much better options than some freak named Francis!” Sirius spewed.
James stared at him for a moment and a look of realization washed over him.
“Oh.”
“Yeah...oh.” Sirius said, suddenly deflating. Heat rose to his cheeks as he slouched over his abandoned breakfast, winded and embarrassed from his outburst.
“Sirius-” Remus began.
Sirius closed his eyes tightly and sucked in a breath. “Forget it, Moony, date whoever you want. I don’t really give a shit anymore.” Sirius pushed away from the table and stormed out.
***
“Sirius just talked to me!” Remus sounded frustrated and a small part of Sirius felt bad but he was in survival mode and no one was safe. He had shut down completely after his outburst, barely talking to any of the Marauders and refused to even look at Remus much to his chagrin.
Sirius felt his arm being yanked and he was pulled into an empty classroom. He whirled around ready to dash towards the exit but Remus was blocking the door and he looked like a force to be reckoned with.
“Sirius Black, you are not leaving this room until we talk!” He hissed at him.
Sirius scoffed. “Nothing to talk about Moony, I’m just trying to go back to our dorms so I can take a nap.” He was tired, he hadn’t been sleeping well as of late.
Remus crossed his arms and glared at him. “You and I both know that you haven’t been acting like yourself these past couple of days and I know it has something to do with Francis, so spill.”
It was quiet for a moment and Sirius stared past Remus’ shoulder and everything that he had been bottling up for who knows how long started to bubble up. The way Remus made Sirius feel when he smiled at him (warm and clumsy), the way Remus always knows when he’s had a bad day and will secretly suggest pranks for them to do, how Sirius found excuses to stand close to Remus at the off chance that he could catch a whiff of his intoxicating scent (like pinewood and books), how Remus allowed him to hug him for as long as he wanted (and would murmur calming words into his ear), how Remus winked at him once and Sirius proceeded to spill ink all over his essay and struggled to focus for the rest of the day (it was worth it to hear Remus laugh), how hearing about Francis had scared Sirius and forced him to face the feelings that he had been staring at all along.
Remus sighed suddenly and Sirius met his eyes, he seemed disappointed in Sirius. “Whatever Sirius, I gotta meet up with Francis anyways.”
Sirius stared at the ground and pursed his lips.
“Unless you don’t want me to.”
Sirius could feel Remus' eyes on him and he met them with a forced half smile. “Why wouldn’t I want you to go to him? I told you I didn’t care.”
Remus walked towards him until he was in Sirius’ space and Sirius felt like his heart was going to pound out of his chest. “We both know that’s not true so I don’t know why you won’t just admit it.” Remus said softly and he raised a hand to Sirius’ cheek.
“Moony-” His were cut off by Remus’ lips and the world fell away as Sirius wrapped his arm around Remus and kissed him with everything he had.
Remus hummed contently as he pulled away to breathe and Sirius felt dizzy.
“When did you know?” Sirius asked breathlessly.
“I suspected when you started studying more than normal but you were so upset about Francis that I figured something was up and the last time you got all mopey like this was second year when you had a crush on Sheila Lance from Ravenclaw, so I took a guess that this was a similar situation. It was mostly just a matter of waiting for you to catch up.”
God Remus was smart, Sirius mused to himself as he dragged Remus back to him and kissed him again.