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He hadn't expected to wake up. He remembered the explosion of pain in his chest, the expression of shocked horror that came over Wei Wuxian's face. Then, nothing.
It had seemed so final. The arrival of that pain had been accompanied by the cessation of all other feeling.
Physical feeling, anyway. His non-physical heart very much ached for A-Li. For their son, still so very new to this life.
However, it seems that the drop into nothing was not the end of this life for himself that it had felt like. The pain in his chest continues with his awakening, but subdued and somehow… removed, as an experience.
It takes some effort to bid his eyes to open. He sees gold. Koi Tower, then. He has been returned home while he… slept.
The realization isn't as comforting as it maybe should have been. The status of his body is still unknown. Is the lack of physical sensation due to whatever has been administered to keep the pain at bay, or because of something irreparably damaged in the attack?
And what dealt the wound? Something brought to bear by his cousin, intended for Wei Wuxian but inadvertently intercepted by himself? Or was it the Ghost General, reacting to the perceived threat of another Jin closing in on his master?
If it was the latter, Wei Wuxian's face in those final moments had clearly shown that it had not been by his intent. That information would likely be deemed irrelevant by those who had not been present at the pass. Those who were there present - those who voices would be heard - would be unlikely to provide an unbiased accounting of what had become obvious to him as an ambush gone awry.
All the dark corners he'd never peered into, allowing himself to be blinded by radiant gold. Those shadows loom in his mind now. After all, isn't it the brightest lights that cast the darkest shadows?
"A-Xuan!" a precious voice exclaims from his left. Blinking his vision into focus, he shifts his gaze towards the voice.
"A-Li," he breathes, relieved to not having been taken from her side after all, no matter what that may mean for the future of his body. Tears are trickling down her cheeks, although he is uncertain as to whether they are spawned by grief, relief, or some combination thereof.
He hopes that it is relief. Just relief.