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“You know, Adora, I didn’t think it would be this easy to catch you, but I guess you are weaker than I thought”
Catra holds and analyses she- ra`s sword with an ironic awe, one foot lying on top of Adora’s chest. Adora`s eyes are watery, she does look weak from that stand point, injured and tired, laid on the cold floor of Hordak`s old sanctum. Catra had thrown her to the floor and gotten the sword without much effort.
“Well, it won`t be easy to catch the others”
“Wow!” She laughs. “You really never lose hope, do you?it’s almost depressing how dumb you are”
“That`s true. I mean, not the dumb part. I never lose hope because there still is a chance to defeat you. The rebellion will fight until the end”.
Adora said, her voice desperate but strong between tears.
Catra laughs again.
“Oh, they have! They have fought until the end, and the end has come. Don`t worry about them, they won`t have to fight anymore. They`re all enjoying their last hours of life in the safest horde cells.”
Catra said with a big smirk on her face.
“No! Catra, you can`t do this. You don’t understand, this will destroy all of Etheria” Adora begged, still crying and more desperate than ever.
“Oh Adora, I can, I will and I´m well aware of what it does, I will set off the heart of Etheria, but don’t worry, you will be long gone before it ever destroys the planet. You, die here. Now.”
Catra has another smirk on her face as Adora`s desperation grows to amuse her more and more.
“What about you? Do you hate me so much that you`re willing to die and destroy the world just so you can destroy me?”
Catra still looks at the sword with indifference while saying:
“Maybe, I wouldn`t really mind dying it if I could destroy you, if I could be on top for some time at least. But I´m waiting for Horde Prime`s arrival, and as soon as he gets here I`ll be able to show my worth. I`ll show how I`m above Hordak, above you and above everyone that has hurt me. When the heart´s set off I`ll be far away, in his ship”
Catra takes her foot off Adora`s chest and walks around. Adora can`t even stand up because of her injuries.
“Please Catra, this is way bigger than Hordak, way bigger than you or me or even Etheria. This weapon can destroy galaxies, whole worlds destroyed for your ego. For your need to be above.”
Catra is facing the wall, walking, sliding the big sword on the floor with a screeching sound when she stops and angrily turns to Adora, pointing the sword at the princess, her eyes now watery like hers.
“And you think you don’t have the need to be above others? That’s what you’ve been doing since… No, no. That is all you’ve doing since we were kids!”
Catra yelled with a cracking voice while aggressively walking towards Adora. Adora closed her watery eyes and turned her face the other way in anticipation of an attack as Catra got closer. Catra took a deep breath, standing right next to the princess, she turned the other way and kept walking around.
“You know, I can`t pretend I didn’t miss you; I can’t pretend I didn’t cry for you for some time, I can`t pretend I wasn’t hurt when you left.”
“I know, Catra, I know that I hurt you but I needed to do the right thing, and you need to do the right thing now. For once in your life, do the right thing.” Adora interrupted.
“Yeah, typical. With you, everything is about the ‘right thing’. Well, that must be easy for you, because you are the right person, you always have been, special, perfect. And all I ever wanted was to be the right person too, perfect too, so we could be together. But like you implied, I´ve never done the right thing in my life. I guess that’s why you left.”
“Catra, I…”
Catra turned to face her, revealing tears and a frown.
“Adora, I`ve been having this dream, ever since you left”. Catra`s voice is emotional and reluctant. She talks slowly.
“We are both underwater, in the bottom of the ocean, where everything is so, so dark. We´re…”
She turns to face the wall again, her voice a bit more stable.
“Holding hands. But you`re above me, trying to swim up and bring me with you. But I`m heavy. Really heavy. We can see the surface, there´s a beam of sunlight close enough to lit up your skin, you are bright. You’re trying to go towards the light, Adora.”
Catra is still in tears, her voice back to cracking as she kneeled next to the princess, looking her in the eye. She quickly turns to face the wall again, she can`t be this weak.
“But you can`t bring me with you, I`m not made for the light. I can`t reach it. I´m too heavy.”
She takes another deep breath, calming and lowering her voice.
“I say something; ‘Stay’. But you don’t hear me, you can’t hear me. We`re underwater so all that comes out is bubbles.”
She sighs while adora looks at her with a hurt look on her face.
“And then… and then, you… let go off my hand, you swim effortlessly towards the light, it is your destiny. And darkness is mine. I cry as I watch you go. And then I wake up, Adora. And I feel the same darkness that I have felt through all of my life, only now, I know that you`re not here. Now I know that you`ve never really been here, have you? It was always like this, you were always above, always bigger, always stronger, always away from me, Catra, the poor kid, doomed to failure.”
Adora takes a deep breath and starts talking.
“Catra… I don’t know what to say, I had to leave, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t come with me. You don’t understand, I…”
“No! You don’t understand Adora. You never do. You, you are so destined to light, that it follows you around wherever you go, and I, I´m so destined to darkness that the light runs from me, every time I get closer.”
“Well maybe… maybe the dark is there because you make a home out of it!”
“Of course, I do, it is all I have left to make a home out of”
They were both yelling but now there´s silence. And Adora says in a quiet voice:
“You know, maybe if you would let me help you, we could find a new home for you. But this, this isn`t the way to reach the light, this; power and being above others, isn’t the light you think it is.”
“Urgh! Like you even care about me”.
Catra is still yelling.
“I´m not going to fuel your will to control everyone and let you tell yourself that you’re saving them.”
“I just want to help.”
Catra has her foot on Adora`s chest again. She looks at the princess with burning anger in her eyes while crying.
“Oh, you love to help right? You love to play the hero, don’t you? But we both know what you really love is the praise, is the power, is feeling like you´re worth something, like you control something. That’s why you left, because you needed to feel like you were bigger than me. You`re just like me but luckier, way luckier. The only difference is that throughout your life, you`ve gotten all those things without even trying, you`ve gotten the praise, the power, the control, and I haven`t. You`ve taken everything from me, you have always been above me, but now, it`s my turn.”
Catra has dropped the sword and her hands are wrapped in Adora`s neck. Adora tries to take them off with her owns hands, not being able to breath.
“You know Adora, I´ve done everything I needed. I conquered Etheria, I´m going to be a legend, the woman who went above everyone, conquered and destroyed a whole planet, and will conquer many more. There`s just one thing I have to do, before I can move on from the dark. Before I step into the light, I need to kill you with my own hands. I used to think you left because I was too heavy for you to swim up with me, I thought I was the one preventing you from swimming up. You had to let go. You had to fulfill your bright destiny. I cried because I thought my destiny was written, I thought I was destined for failure. It turns out, you were the one preventing me from going up. But no more, Adora, no more. Next time I dream, I´ll wake up satisfied, because I will reach the light and you will be the one left in the dark, I´ll no longer cry begging you to stay, begging you to save me. Throughout my life, I`ve learned that I´m the only one that can save myself. And only one of us can reach the light, Adora. And this time, it will be me. I don’t care about you or everyone that has hurt me, I`ll lift myself, even if I`m heavy. This time, I reach the light, even if…, especially if I have to use you as a staircase. I may be destined for darkness, but not for failure, so I will rise from the darkness, I will rise with the darkness, and reach the light anyway.”
Adora let’s out a laugh while coughing. Catra looks confused but doesn’t take her hands off Adora`s neck.
“What`s so funny, idiot?” She tightens her grip on the princess`s neck.
Adora coughs, trying to speak and Catra loosens her grip so she can hear it.
“I didn’t think you were this obsessed, but you really are, aren’t you?”
Adora`s face melds into a familiar green shapeshifter`s one.
“Double trouble?!” Catra`s jaw drops and she furrows her brow as she takes her hands off their neck and takes reluctant steps back. Double-trouble gets up effortlessly, as if those injuries were mere props for the part, because they were.
“Yes, it’s me, this was so fun. I didn’t think I would get to see your vulnerable side so easily. You really play the victim part very well.”
“What… what about Adora? What about the sword?”
Double-trouble gets the sword behind her.
“Entrapta did a great job with the props for this one, right? This sword is almost identical to the real thing, which is with Adora, by the way, and she´s on her way to destroy it, preventing the heart of Etheria from activating.”
“No!”
Catra takes several steps back, crying while Double-Trouble walks towards her.
“Yes” Double-Trouble laughs.
“You haven’t won yet; I still have the princesses”
Double-Trouble stops walking.
“Well, that won`t really matter in the long run, don’t you think so? Adora always wins, I´m sure you, of all people know that. That`s why I turned to her side”
“You… betrayed me, you left me. Like everyone else.”
“It`s not personal, dear. I just need to survive and win, and right now, you don’t seem really good at neither of those things.”
“I can´t believe you did this to me.
“You know, it took me a while, but I finally figured out your character.”
They keep walking towards Catra, changing their form to hers.
“What are you doing?”
“You know, You try so hard to play the big, bad villain, but your heart's never been in it, has it? You just want to be safe, you want people to love you; you just want people to… stay. You want to be on top so you can feel safe. People have hurt you, haven't they?”
They turn into Shadow Weaver
“They didn't believe in you.”
They turn into Hordak.
“They didn’t trust you”
Double-Trouble kneels to Catra`s level, stroking her cheek. They change into Adora. Catra feels her heart sting at every one of these words.
“Didn't need you. Left you.”
“But, did you ever stop to think that maybe they`re not the problem?”
Double-Trouble turns into Scorpia.
“It's you. You drive them away, wildcat.”
They change into their normal form.
“Why are you doing this to me? What did I do to deserve this?”
“Oh, kitten. Don’t you get it? You are doing this to yourself, you`re the one who decided you deserve this.
You can never reach the light; you can never leave the dark because you are the dark.
Adora leaves you because you are the dark, and she is the light.
There`s a beam of darkness surrounding you, everywhere you go. You know that. It`s what you are because you chose to be this way, it is your destiny because you choose it, but you still try to lie to yourself, blame others, blame destiny, pretend you like it this way, pretend like being on top will fix you.
But nothing like that can fix the hole inside you, the hole you carved, and that’s your biggest failure, the hole you can never fill.
So, know, that you can conquer galaxies, you can kill Adora, use her body as a staircase, but you can never, ever, run away from yourself.
into the light, darling, and only then you`ll see the contrast, of how the light is repelled by your dark beam.
You love to play the angry victim, the villain who`s getting revenge, you tell yourself it`s because of what others did to you, but this, this is your choice and only your choice.
You chose the darkness because you never believed you could be on the light, and now, as much as you pretend you are going towards the light, deep down you know you`ll do everything to keep it away, anything to keep real light away.
You aren’t a villain, nor a victim for that matter, you are just a lonely, desperate soul that just wants someone to save them, someone to believe in them. But how can anyone believe in you when you choose to stay in the dark, when you can`t ever, truly, believe in yourself?”
“And now all of this; your empire, everything you`ve been building to try to fill in the hole, will fall apart. You failed. As expected.”
Catra was now sobbing, dropped to the floor, defeated, like the failure she always thought she was.
“And scene. Anyways, kitten, I`ve got to go now, but playing this part was lovely, who would´ve thought it would be this easy to distract you while the princesses’ escape. Good night, I hope you´ll sleep very well. “
Double-Trouble walks away. And Catra stays there, alone, defeated, lost, and she can’t help but to think that this is familiar, comfortable, it`s her home. Darkness is her home, her only home, and she could never reach the light, no matter how much she tried and maybe it was time to accept that.