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“No, Hokuto.”
Hokuto's face is close to the face of the man beside him. “Hm?”
“Stop it.”
“Don’t worry. We are in the corner of the park and it’s almost 8 in the evening, no one will see us, Taiga.” Hokuto whispers in Taiga's right ear while observes the situation around them. “See, everyone has left one by one. We are the only ones here.”
“Hokuto, please. We can’t do this anymore.” Taiga's face is starting to look bothered.
Hokuto smiles teasingly. “Why are you playing hard to get, Baby? Or you are just shy? I know you really like it when I kiss you, right?” His hand is on the older's chin, gently turning him to his direction.
“Not anymore. We broke up 4 years ago, Hokuto.” He rolls his eyes, trying to avoid Hokuto’s gaze
“So?” Hokuto lifts his brows up. “Taiga, if you want, we can start over again. I still love you, Taiga.” He shifts his sit closer to Taiga before continuing his action to kiss him.
Hokuto’s face is getting closer to Taiga's. But, Taiga immediately pushes Hokuto away and stands up as fast as he can before Hokuto forces him to stay sitting. “Enough, Hokuto. It’s you who dumped me and now you come back, asking me to back to you? I’m not that stupid kid in the past, Hokuto.” Taiga gives a bitter smirk as his voice is shaking from holding his tears.
“Taiga...”
“I have a boyfriend.” Taiga closes his eyes. He stops for a while before opening his eyes and finishing his words. “It’s been 4 years and everything has changed, Hokuto. Now, I have a boyfriend and I am happy with my current life without you. So please stay away from me. Forever!” Taiga walks away, leaving Hokuto alone when he can’t hold his cry back anymore. Not that he still loves Hokuto but that painful past is still hurting him anytime he remembers it.
***
Taiga opens the door and walks inside the house. “Welcome home,” his boyfriend is greeting him with wide smile. But Taiga doesn’t react, just shows a blank expression. “Taiga?” The other man calls him again with a bit of worry on his face.
“I’m home.” Taiga says without paying attention to his surrounding, his eyes are still looking at something far. But, he quickly shows surprised expression when he realizes that there is someone in front of him. “Oh, Juri. What are you doing here?”
“Is it wrong to visit my boyfriend’s house because I miss him and want to cook him dinnner? Hey, don't say you forget that I have a spare key!” Juri answers with teasing smile but still doesn’t get a good response from him aside a nod. “Taiga, what’s wrong?”
“Um… Juri... I…" Taiga continues after cleaning his throat. "I met Hokuto on the way home. He just came back from London” Taiga looks down at his feet after seeing annoyed face of the man in front of him. His eyes can’t meet Juri's.
Juri tries his best to control his voice from showing his displeasure with hearing that name again after years. “He is back, huh!? Then, what did he do to you?”
Taiga is silent in a while before answering, “He asked me to back to him.” He says it with small voice, and getting lower until he finishes his last word.
“Sorry, I couldn’t catch your words.”
Taiga shakes his head. “Nothing. He just asked how I am these days. Nothing important. Really.” He doesn't have heart to tell Juri the truth. Because he knows, telling Juri about it would just make Juri getting worried. Juri doesn’t deserve that kind of feeling because the present is different from the past. The only thing Juri needs to know is that he really loves him.
“Eh? What is this sweet smell, Juri?” He runs a little to the kitchen after recognizing his favorite smell. His eyes are so bright as he looks at the meals that Juri prepared for their dinner.
“You sent me message this morning that you want to eat your favorite mango pudding, right? So I made it for you.” Juri sits across Taiga and grabs a fork. “I also made tomato sauce pasta for making up to you since I’m not able to spend this weekend with you.” He feeds Taiga the pasta he cooked.
Taiga is starting to be annoyed since Juri promised him to have a weekend date. “Why?” His voice is clearly sour, even with his full mouth.
“I gotta out of town for work. I will be back Sunday night.” Juri is explaining but Taiga answers him with a pout on his lips while still chewing the pasta inside his mouth.
After swallowing the pasta Juri fed, Taiga is grumbling, “I really want you to company me this weekend since it’s been a while since the last time we spent weekends together. You promised to take me to amusement park on Saturday though.”
Juri says nothing but sorry. Again, Taiga only pouts. Juri finds Taiga’s action is cute and makes him smile as he is looking at Taiga eating the pasta with his sulking face. He knows his boyfriend won’t be mad at this thing. The matter is just they lately don’t have enough time together. I’m sorry, dear. I will make it up to you more than you want it.
***
Taiga is washing the dishes when Juri finished preparing warm water for Taiga's bath. He suddenly hugs Taiga from behind, resting his head to the older man’s. Taiga just chuckles over this clingy Juri while still continuing what he is doing. Juri is always spoiling him but still there is a time when Juri wants to be spoiled, more than him. Taiga understands it and doesn’t think too much.
Taiga finished the washing and is going to break the hug but Juri tightens his hug intead. “Don’t do that again."
“What?” Taiga doesn’t really know what Juri is talking about.
“Don’t meet Hokuto again. Don’t contact him again. Don’t go back to him again. Don’t—”
“Juri.” Taiga's voice is firm enough implying Juri has to stops his words. Taiga now gets why Juri is suddenly getting clingier. With a little force, he successes to loosen Juri's arms on him and turns to face the younger man. “I promise, Juri. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do about Hokuto. I’m with you now and I’m enough with that.” His voice is full of attention and he gives his best smile to his lovely boyfriend.
“I just… I don’t want you to hurt again. It did hurt to see you with those conditions you had after he left you.” Juri's eyes start getting wetter when he remembers those memories. It's not him who experienced those things but seeing Taiga in the past made him feels the pain as well. He couldn't help himself and starts sobbing. “I heard you. I heard it when you said that he wants you back. Thinking you really loved him in past is scaring me. I’m scared that you would make a second chance for both of you being together again. Please don’t leave me, Taiga. Please. I love you. Really love you.” He couldn’t control his emotion anymore. He is just crying and burying his face to the older’s shoulder. His shaking fingers are holding Taiga's shirt tightly.
Taiga is smiling. He is glad. Finally, after dating for years, for the first time, he could see this side of Juri. He could see his boyfriend, who was never bothered by his closeness with any friend, being jealous.
He rubs his hand to Juri’s back while the other hand on his head. They share a silent moment until Taiga pushes away. He moves his both hands to cup the younger's face and wipe his tears. “Juri, open your eyes. Look at me.”
Juri who is still overwhelmed by his feeling manages to open his eyes. Taiga glues his eyes with his, as if tells him to put his attention to him. “I love you, too. And I don’t need to say how much I do, even more than myself, and you definitely know about it. Then, do you think I have an excuse to leave you?” Taiga talks with the softest tone, doesn't want to make Juri feels worse. Juri just answers him by shaking his head.
Taiga continues his talk. “To be honest, it still hurts. It hurts to remember those memories. But, forgetting all of them is also not as easy as turning palms, Juri. If I go back to him, doesn’t it mean I just hurt myself even more? I don’t want to get hurt again, Juri.” He speaks as calm as he can, even though his voice is almost broken. At this state, he can’t be weak. He needs to be strong, for Juri, for himself, and for their love.
Juri couldn’t make even a single word. His worried eyes, of being left by his lover, are slowly softened. Taiga's smile sweeps away his fear. At this time, he couldn’t do anything but cry that is getting louder when his Taiga gives him a warm hug, whispers comforted words to his ear, tells him how much he loves him so there’s nothing to be afraid of. As Taiga is soothing him by kissing his head and showering him with affection, he feels so dumb for doubting his precious boyfriend's love for him.
They are so busy with their emotional moment to remember that the warm water might be already cold. They are laughing over their stupidity of forgetting the prepared bath while reheating the water before get into the bath tub together.
Only smile that remains at that night.