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“Eren, who the fuck needs to be told the car needs fuel!? You just need to look! The fucking car warns you by itself!” Levi walked into their house annoyed, carrying more bags than his arms could handle.
“I haven't driven your car for about 4 months! And you were the last person who drove it, you should have filled it up!” Eren snapped, slamming the front door behind himself and going after Levi with as many bags in his arms. "It's your fault we had to call Jean to tow the car."
“It's your fault for being so damn stupid as not to see that the fucking car was calling for fuel!” Levi grunted, dropping the bags onto the kitchen table. “The one driving was you .”
“Fuck you, this shitty discussion ends now.” Eren dropped the bags on the table as well, putting away the groceries with irritation rising in his head. He was angry and Levi would take it! Nobody had forced him to marry someone as hot-headed as Eren! “We're already home and Jean said he'll bring the car later.”
Levi fell silent and leaned his hips against the kitchen sink, looking extremely annoyed. After a few seconds, Eren realized that Levi wasn't silent.
He was muttering!
“What did you say?” Eren grumbled.
“I said I'm going to prepare the fucking dinner before it becomes breakfast.” and he turned away, his back to Eren, and began washing his hands to prepare dinner.
Eren knew his face must be red with anger. It wasn't even that late, it was still seven o'clock! Why did Levi need to be so hasty?
"You don't even need to make dinner with such a long face." Eren spat, unable to hold back the acid comment. Levi braced his hands on the sink and heaved a deep sigh, as if he was trying not to throw a pan at the Eren’s head, and Eren withdrew from the kitchen, muttering under his breath. "Your food tastes like shit."
That night, Eren was forced to eat cup noodles as dinner and to sleep on the couch.
*****
“So, let me get this straight… you said what you wanted to Levi and now you're regretting it?” Reiner muttered, watching Eren's face across the table. Eren looked away, slightly uncomfortable with the way Reiner needed to repeat everything he had just said. It seemed like he did it just so Eren would sound stupid twice instead of only once.
"It was the heat of the moment." he explained.
"But you did." Reiner continued.
Eren rolled his eyes.
"Yes, yes, Reiner, I know what I said! That’s why I need your help, not you throwing it all in my face.” he scolded.
“Look, you're already getting stressed.” Reiner rested his chin in his hand.
Both were having coffee at a cafeteria near where they worked; Eren found the prices slightly exorbitant and always preferred to have breakfast at home before leaving for work. However, that day, Levi had left nothing prepared. It sounded silly, but after nearly a year of marriage, he really had lost his way with these things. Making a full breakfast was Levi's habit, never Eren’s, and he always left something ready for Eren before leaving the house early.
That morning, when Eren woke up to go to work, Levi was already gone… and without preparing anything.
After the fight with his husband, when he complained about Levi’s food the night before, he regretted everything he said five minutes later; the need to sleep on the couch brought backaches and he felt cold without Levi’s body to warm him up, so there was nothing Eren wanted more than his husband’s forgiveness.
"How was he this morning?" Reiner asked.
“He always wakes up at five. I wake up at eight… he had left a long time ago.” Eren grumbled, taking the last sip of his mochaccino. “But I don't think he was too happy, he really left me sleeping in the living room. Even locked the bedroom door!”
Reiner wore a pitying expression.
“Look, Eren…you were an idiot with him. I think you should apologize, it was just a fight, tell him you said those things just for the sake of it and that you don't hate his food. It's the truth, isn't it?”
Eren slumped, facing the table.
At the beginning of their relationship, Levi’s cooking skills were really poor. After the marriage, he began to learn not to burn everything in front of him or to season the food so that it tasted good; after all, his working hours were only in the morning and he was always back home at 1pm. That way, he was responsible for cooking lunch for himself and dinner for both of them, as Eren used to come home dead tired around 7pm. After some months, Levi got the hang of it and his food had become something Eren really enjoyed.
Oh God, why had he badmouthed Levi's food like that? He knew that this was a weakness of his… Those were the consequences of being so explosive…
“I like Levi's food. I just said that to hurt him.” he snorted. “But now I'm feeling bad.”
"Usually you're the one who explodes alone, but yesterday Levi exploded back, and now you're regretful." Reiner shrugged.
“It's just that he tries so hard to take care of our house.” Eren explained, staring at his empty glass that still gave off a nice mochaccino smell. Levi might not be the most humorous person in the world, but he was definitely a good husband. “I spend most of the day at work and on weekends he's already done all the chores just for us to spend time together. I wish I could go back in time.”
“But you can't. Reiner stated stiffly. "Then you should apologize and do something to earn his forgiveness."
“Like what?
“Eren, for God's sake, the husband is yours, I don't know!” Reiner crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat. "Flowers, maybe?"
Eren looked down again at his empty glass.
"Nah, he doesn't care much for flowers. I think if I promise to clean the toilets for three months, he'd be able to forgive me faster.” he muttered.
"Then take the flowers and promise to clean the toilets." Reiner suggested.
Eren watched Reiner for a few moments, trying to convince himself that the idea wasn't ridiculous. But, well, the most Levi would do was threaten to shove the bouquet of flowers up Eren's ass, and it's not like that was really that threatening. In the beginning of their relationship, reeeally in the beginning, Eren shivered slightly when receiving threats like that. Nowadays, he didn't even blink.
In the end, it was never in Eren's ass that things were shoved.
“Yeah, it's not a bad idea.” Eren concluded. "I think I'll do it. Thanks, Reiner.”
“Your welcome! What are friends for anyway?
Their day was a busy one, as usual. Both were architects running out of time to deliver a massive project; the office routines were getting pretty tight in this final days of the project. Eren's workday, which was usually from 10am to 6pm, had already been extended to 8pm for the past three weeks, which meant that he arrived home after 9pm, stressed, dead tired of facing traffic and hungry.
At least he remembered to stop by the downtown flower shop and buy a bunch of white tulips before heading home.
He parked the car in the garage, next to Levi's car, which had been the cause of all the mess at first, and walked into the house with the best smile he could muster at that moment.
Levi was in the kitchen, his back to the entrance, but he sure as hell had heard the keys turning in the door and Eren's stumbling as he tried to take off his shoes.
Eren hesitated. Levi looked like he was pretending to be busy making a salad. On the table, dinner was ready and looking very good; that made Eren's heart give a little twist as he remembered his own comment from the night before.
He walked over to Levi, running a hand around his husband’s waist, hoping not to get a punch in the stomach.
Fortunately, Levi's mood looked good as he just turned to look at Eren.
"You took your time."
“It's still that project. Eren justified, leaning in to give Levi a quick kiss on the lips. "We'll finish it in ten days, so I'll be back early again."
"I had to reheat the food in the microwave, it might not be so good." Levi justified, refocusing on the salad he was preparing. Eren used the moment to show off the bouquet he was hiding on his back. Levi made a surprised expression. "You didn’t...”
“It’s my apology for yesterday.” Eren explained, slightly hesitant. Levi's reaction could be unpredictable, but he looked much more relaxed than Eren had expected him to be. After all, he hadn't ripped his mouth out with his teeth when they kissed.
Levi arched an eyebrow, looking Eren up and down with a slightly suspicious expression. After a few seconds, he seemed to convince himself that there was nothing wrong with Eren, and he accepted the gift with a nod.
"Leave it there on the counter and go shower before the food gets cold again."
Eren smiled, content. Levi was no longer upset and that was a great sign! In fact, he didn't even look like he'd spent the day upset about something.
He showered and returned to the kitchen, sitting at the table with Levi and noticing that he had found a vase for the flowers. For dinner, there was a platter of spaghetti and meatballs that looked exceptionally good. And Eren wasn't wrong!
“Wow, this is amazing!” he praised, honestly dumbfounded. He watched Levi's face, seeing that he was staring at his plate, looking embarrassed or hopeful about something. So despite pretending everything was fine, Levi had actually spent the day thinking about the comment Eren had made.
His comment confirmed Eren's suspicions.
“I watched some videos on Youtube.” Levi confessed.
Eren chewed as he thought, noticing that Levi was avoiding his gaze and concentrating on eating as well. He raised an eyebrow, thinking to ask if there was still anything he wanted to say, but Levi interrupted him with questions about how Eren had spent the day at work; all without looking too much at Eren's face.
Even after dinner, when they washed the dishes together or when Eren decided that make up sex would be a good way to find out if Levi had really forgiven him, he still thought there was something off about the other. Even though Levi had acted as naturally as possible, as usual, Eren couldn't ignore that weird feeling in his chest.
*****
“I think Levi is trying to poison me."
Reiner almost spit the juice over his own lunch.
“What!?"
Eren looked around, as if in a spy movie, then leaned across the table to get closer to his friend to speak in a lower tone.
“Yesterday, when I got home, he was perfectly normal. Accepted the flowers, accepted my apology, we even had sex.” he muttered and Reiner squinted as if he could spend the rest of his life not knowing that particular information. "And the food was very good."
Reiner looked honestly confused.
“But, Eren… didn't you take the flowers precisely to reconcile?"
“That's where the problem lies, dear Reiner.” Eren raised his voice, minutely inspecting Reiner's face for any reaction that might indicate he was collaborating with Levi to poison him. “Levi never accepts my apology so easily. He would have, at the very least, started a typical married couple fight during dinner until I apologized a couple more times, admitted he was right, and then we would have sex. But sex came without any of these steps being completed before!”
Reiner was still confused.
“What if he was just upset about the fight and didn't want it to go on?"
Eren chewed his lunch slowly, afraid it might be poisoned too if Reiner were Levi's henchmen.
“That never happened, I don't know why it would be any different this time. Also, the food was different.”
“You said he saw a tutorial on Youtube. You know how many culinary types of videos there are there, don't you?”
“Yeah, but it was like there was something different about the food, like something else, you know?” Eren kept talking, a slightly manic expression taking over his face. “And if I die, Levi will inherit a lot of money.”
Reiner gave a discreet laugh.
“Eren, if he had poisoned you, you wouldn't be here right now. And I'm sure he prefers your body alive.” he concluded.
Eren seemed to have no way of disagreeing with that information, and shifted his gaze to his plate of food. That restaurant was where he and Reiner always had lunch between work and the food was very good, but with so many thoughts running through his head right now, he couldn't concentrate too much on the taste of it.
“Look, you're just stressed out. Reiner continued. “I'm sure that in a few days the strange mood will be gone. The fight is still very fresh in both of your minds, it's normal to act weird for a few days. I'm sure Levi made the reconciliation easier because he didn't feel like fighting anymore.”
Eren watched him, trying to find something he could use as a clue that Reiner was against him too, but he decided there was nothing. He shrugged, concentrating on lunch; time was short and running fast. In addition, he had many other concerns about the project and the short deadline. Of course Levi acting like nothing was wrong meant nothing!
*****
Levi had prepared shrimp risotto with asparagus.
Eren was sitting at the table, watching Levi in front of him. Behind Levi, on the kitchen counter, the flowers were magnificent in the vase Levi had chosen. It was a vase Carla had given them two weeks after the wedding, saying it belonged to her grandmother and that she really wanted to pass it on to her son. Eren always thought it was just junk that Carla hated and wanted to push on them.
"Is something wrong?" Levi asked.
Eren looked down at the food; it looked amazing and his stomach even rumbled, but again something whispered in his ear, saying Levi was trying to kill him. He held the urge to lick his lips and looked up at his husband, who was watching him with a question on his face.
"When did you have time to buy shrimp?" he asked as firmly as he could, afraid his voice would break.
To his surprise, Levi turned red. That was a rare sign and it sure meant something.
“Oh, I… stopped by the market on my way home from the hospital today and I thought they looked fresh.” he replied quickly. Eren observed how Levi was eating the same food as he and, after a few seconds, concluded that it was impossible for Levi to have poisoned the food. After all, he wouldn't be eating the same food as Eren if he had.
Right?
He ate, feeling slightly stunned by his own mind full of bullshit. Even so, the strange mood that seemed to hang over the dining table was still there. Even though everything looked in perfect condition. Even though Levi was cooking, asking what Eren had been doing during the day and having sex with him at night, there was still something weird.
Eren narrowed his eyes, sensing the danger lurking around.
*****
"What if he's been poisoning me with small doses? By the time I’d realized it, it would be too late.” Eren spoke abruptly, his gaze glazed over at the blueprints for the project he and Reiner had been discussing a few seconds ago.
Reiner wore an expression of complete bewilderment.
“What are you talking about?”
“Levi's food!" Eren exclaimed, as if it were obvious.
The office was empty and they were the only ones present. It was the last day of the project and everything was ready, it would be presented the next day, and both were just going over some details of the blueprints and model to confirm if there was still something to be corrected.
Reiner raised an eyebrow.
“Eren, it's 8pm, it's time for us to go home. You are already delirious with fatigue. Besides, where would your husband get poison? And if he was slowly poisoning you, you would have felt something already. It's been two weeks!”
“Levi works at a hospital.” Eren stated, looking slightly insane.
"But isn't he… a physical therapist?" Reiner asked stupidly, as if he couldn't understand where Eren was trying to get to. Well, really, a physical therapist would not have medications easily on hand like a pharmacist or nurse. But even so, he couldn't rule out the hypothesis! “Eren, for God's sake, do you still think that flat ass of yours is worth some money? Levi won't gain anything from your death, you’d cost a misery…”
“Ha, ha, ha, dear Reiner.” Eren's eyelids fluttered, as if in a nervous twitch. "That’s where you’re wrong! This flat ass is worth more than you think! Levi must win half a million with my death.”
Reiner didn't seem to be finding the whole story any more amusing.
“Eren, I'm going home, I can see these blueprints are fine, since you're finding time to think shit. Have a good night.” and he turned off the office lights when he left.
Eren sat in the dark, wide green eyes reflecting the moon light coming through the window like an owl.
*****
Time had passed and he was still alive.
After entire weeks of despairing and, at the same, time eating delicious food for dinner, Eren ended up deciding that, okay, his husband was not trying to kill him. At least not poisoned with food. Maybe suffocated in his sleep, or from having too much sex. In fact, Levi actually seemed to have forgotten what had been up between them nearly a month ago, and come to think of it, the fight hadn't really been serious. Maybe Eren had been too hurt with what he had said and ended up projecting himself in Levi's place; that would explain his inability to understand how Levi was as so calm.
It could also be that, as much as they made acid comments from time to time, there had never really been a real fight between them.
"So are you going to transfer the money to me or what?"
Eren looked up from his cell phone to Reiner.
“Oh, yes, sure.” Reiner had been kind enough to buy his lunch the day before, when he forgot his wallet with all the cards at home. Really a friend to keep! “I’ll do that.”
He opened the bank app in his cell phone and went straight to the transfers tab, not bothering too much to check how much money he had. After transferring the money to Reiner, he noticed that there was something odd about his balance.
Had Levi's salary not dropped yet?
Eren and Levi had a joint account, into which their salaries were deposited monthly, and Levi was the one who always took a moment to pay the bills, and also who usually went shopping, since he had more free hours than Eren in a day. Eren didn't even use that account, except to swipe the card. So why the hell was there such a long list of spendings that amounted to almost $3000!?
Eren frowned. If it was that amount all at once, he could imagine they'd been stolen, or that Levi had had some emergency at home and needed to buy something new. He hadn't warned Eren because…because…well, Eren always got home so late, the only time they talked the most was on the weekends, right?
But the amount spent was pretty evenly distributed at about $90 to $250 spent daily. What the hell was Levi buying so much? The name of the store or person was still slightly mysterious. What the hell did Springles mean ? Eren couldn't quite understand if the card had been swiped or if it was being debited directly from their account.
"Thanks, Eren.” Reiner smiled at him after his cell phone vibrated with a message confirming the transfer. However, after Reiner looked into his friend's face, he seemed to realize that something was wrong. “Hm…Eren? You okay?”
Eren didn't know whether to tell or not. What if Levi was cheating on him? There weren't many explanations for so many expenses. But Levi would never do that! Or would he?
“Eren? Are you okay? You're pale…”
“I'm… I'm fine…
"Are you still thinking about what you're going to give Levi as a gift?"
What?
Oh!
Of course.
He had spent the past three full days complaining to Reiner that he had no idea what to give Levi on their wedding anniversary, which, by the way, was today. In the end, he had decided to buy travel tickets to the beach, as Levi had never seen the sea. Even when the two of them were still dating, the opportunity had never arisen. Also, he had suggested to Levi that they both go out to dinner at some more expensive restaurant on the other side of town, as Levi always seemed interested in going out to eat there. However, his husband had vehemently refused, claiming he preferred something more intimate at home.
But now, Eren was reflective. How could he face Levi today, right on his wedding anniversary? How could he talk to Levi about his spending last month? How to act normally at an ‘intimate dinner’?
He looked down at his cell phone again, feeling his stomach sink.
He wasn't even looking for a fight this time! Why the hell did they always seem to find him?
*****
When he got home for dinner, the wonderful smell of lasagna bolognese, his favorite food, filled his nostrils. But Eren was angry and wanted to start another fight. Still, remembering the tragedy of the last time and not really wanting to sleep on the couch again, he held back as much as he could. Besides, it would be very stupid to argue with Levi on the most special night of their wedding!
He showered, irritated, thinking about how to bring up the subject with Levi, and when he realized, he was sitting face to face with the man as they began eating dinner.
Levi seemed to sense that something was wrong.
“Did something happen?”
Eren clutched his fork in his hand and looked up slowly at Levi, finding him with his usual blank expression, but his eyes expressed concern.
Eren sighed, looking back at his plate. He didn't have the courage, that was the truth. At the same time, his furious inner self was screaming at him. What if Levi was cheating on him? What if he was sending money to someone else? It wasn’t possible that he really was spending so much, every day, to add up all that loss in one month. Who the fuck was that Springles guy ?
And Eren hadn't even noticed! This was proof that he trusted Levi so much with his finances. For what? For Levi to become… a sugar daddy to someone out there? Levi was still 33 years old, so Eren wasn't sure if he fit into the sugar daddy category, but he was also curious to know if that was the case. If Eren was being fooled, he didn't even know what to do. What would he do with those expensive travel tickets? Stick them up in his ass? Should he go with Reiner?
“Eren, what happened?” Levi called him again.
“Nothing, I…” Eren swallowed, unable to speak that nothing was happening. Anger and confusion were boiling inside him, but the last thing he wanted was to explode.
“I can see there's something bothering you, you look like you haven't shit in a week.” Levi grumbled. “Spit it out.”
The shit jokes were back! This was the Levi he knew.
Eren squinted his eyes. The comment hadn't helped him much in containing his anger, but he'd refrained from holding back the aggressive tone and keeping only the bitterness in speaking. Since Levi wanted him to talk, he would. He was never a person to hold grudges to himself, always preferring to throw everything in the other person’s face right away. Lay his cards on the table , as Carla used to say when she tried to defend him against Grisha for coming home from school with a bloody nose.
“It's nothing, I just thought it was funny that last month you spent more than 3000 on our card and didn't feel the need to tell me what you were buying.” Eren grumbled, watching Levi's reaction as he felt the anger slowly rising inside him. “Funny, isn’t it? Not once. You didn't even mention you were going to buy anything. Not that I'm making any accusations, of course.” the tone of voice was ironic, and Eren had to admit, he wanted this to happen.
Levi's reaction was unexpected. Eren supposed he would get angry too and quickly explain what had happened. Then, he would say that Eren was exaggerating, as he usually did when Eren started making accusations, and ask him what he was trying to imply. But Levi looked genuinely embarrassed, and just looked down at his food.
What!?
“It was nothing, it was an emergency, I was going to tell you after I sorted it out.” Levi spoke quickly, not meeting Eren's eyes. He was lying! Levi was always a terrible liar, perhaps because he was always telling the truth. Eren could tell he was lying from his expression, even if they were miles apart.
“Levi.” Eren spoke in a warning tone, seeing how Levi seemed to hesitate to even look up. "Tell me now what happened, or I won't be the one sleeping on the couch this time. Like you said… spit it out. ”
Eren never spoke in that tone to Levi, as that could mean anything from sleeping on the sofa for a night, to no sex for a month, but right now he was more concerned about other things. His marriage could be at stake forever, not just his integrity for a single month!
He didn't think Levi was going to speak and prepared to raise his voice, when at last, not looking him in the eye and keeping his face down, he answered something Eren didn't understand.
“What? Eren pressed, getting annoyed.
"I bought food." Levi answered louder, leaning his elbow on the table and looking up. His face wasn't red, but he looked pretty frustrated. "You thought I was doing what? Cheating on you?”
Not as much as he was implying, but… yes.
"What do you mean food?" Eren frowned. “You always cook at home and never spend this much.”
Levi sighed.
“I was buying it from a restaurant.”
"What?"
“You know, ordering dinner by app.” Levi replied, getting annoyed too. Eren was more confused than annoyed now. It felt like a plot twist of something like ‘My Wife and Kids’, not his own life.
“But why? You’ve always cooked. Did something happen at your job that left you out of time?”
Levi looked furious and disappointed at the same time.
“Of course you've already forgotten.”
Eren frowned, sighing heavily.
“Well, refresh my memory!”
“You said my food tastes like shit, so I just thought that after eight hours of hard work at that shitty company, you deserved to eat something good.” Levi replied gruffly, looking very displeased at having to refresh Eren's memory. “So I decided that buying was better, since even after a year I apparently haven't learned how to cook.”
“When did I say that?” Eren was startled. “And since when is spending half your salary buying food a good idea?
Levi watched him with a frown.
“You threw it in my face that day.” he replied with a grim expression.
Eren blinked. What day? On the day of the fight?
Oh.
It was true.
Eren remembered saying that in the heat of the moment, but with all his crazy thoughts about why Levi didn't seem angry, he'd even forgotten. Besides, the project he had to deliver had destroyed his neurons. Was it really that bad he didn't remember? Of course Levi was upset. Not angry, but pissed off at what Eren had said. That's why he was pretending everything was fine… He was trying to please! Besides...
“Babe… I just said that just to upset you, I was mad, it's not true.” he softened his voice. Levi didn't seem to believe that explanation, so Eren continued, keeping the puppy like face that he wore when he wanted to convince Levi to do something. “You really didn't knew how to cook when we got married, but I love your food. You don't have to worry about that.”
Levi still looked surprised.
“You say that just because you want to save money.”
“Levi…” Eren continued in a bland tone. Seeing that the other didn't seem to believe, he pulled his chair back until he could sit next to Levi and took his hand, stroking his golden ring with his fingertips. “I thought you wanted to poison me, but this whole time you were upset.”
“Poison you?”
“Thanks for worrying about me, but I really like your food. Really. I just said it without thinking. You know I say these things when I'm pissed.”
Levi looked slightly smug, but still embarrassed, and watched Eren's hand over his with some hesitation. Eren slowly leaned in to kiss him, still hesitant. If Levi hadn't accepted his apology, he probably would have turned away. But when their lips touched, Eren realized that he had finally received complete forgiveness.
“You're still going to make it up to me.” Levi muttered, pulling away a few inches. “I can't believe we argued on our anniversary.” Levi said, more to himself than to Eren.
“We're not arguing.” Eren smiled. “We're talking like the two adults we are.”
“Of course.” Levi sighed.
“And then we can put our tune in test.” Eren went on, insinuating. “I hope it serves as compensation.”
Levi smirked slightly.
“I want a gift , Jaeger.”
"I may have prepared a surprise." Eren muttered. "And where were you buying all this anyway?"
“At Springles.” Levi said simply.
"And where the hell is that?"
“Across town.” Levi muttered, turning red again. “I was shopping at your favorite restaurant, the one you eat at lunch. I bought it about four times there, but you started to notice…”
Eren's eyes widened.
“So that's why everything was so familiar in the beginning. “ he said. “And that's also why it became so expensive, if by 'across town' you mean Mitras .”
Levi didn't turn to look at him again, embarrassed by the whole situation. Eren smiled, resigned. Since they'd met, Levi had looked cold on the outside, but on the inside he had a soft heart. At the beginning of their relationship, Eren thought that Levi just wanted to have fun with him, because he was always so cold and distant. It turned out that, in the end, it was Eren who got it wrong. Eren was enraptured when a sudden declaration of love escaped Levi's lips, before he could prepare to hear it.
Anyway, that's how things worked between them for a while. Eren returned his chair to where it was and suggested they start eating before it got cold. He still had more on his mind to do that night, and now that everything was settled, it would be a shame if he took too long to enjoy the moment.
A smile spread across his face as he watched Levi, who raised an eyebrow in confusion.
“What's it?"
“Now I get it.” Eren stated.
"Get what?"
"The reason why you didn't want to go out to eat today."
Levi's cheeks turned slightly pink once more.
“It's fine, Levi.” Eren spoke in a suggestive tone. “You can pay me twice tonight.”