Work Text:
The fire in the library was roaring. Rose was watching it, losing herself to the dance of the flames in the hearth.
It was soothing, having the freedom to let her mind wander. Almost like it was stretching its legs after being confined today, roaming for the sheer pleasure of being able to do so. She still had a wicked headache - a result of her entire psyche being crammed into a corner of her mind, the Doctor had said - but sitting unfocused was helping to stave the worst of it off.
The muffled thump of the heavy library door closing made her wince and look up.
“Sorry.” The Doctor crossed the room and eased himself onto the couch behind where Rose was sitting on the floor. “Here, let me…”
And then his fingers were on her head. She almost moaned as he massaged her scalp, slowly easing away some of the pain.
She let her body rest back against his legs and her mind sink back into the flickering flames.
At some point, the Doctor’s fingers eased off his ministrations, and started fiddling with her hair instead. She could feel him pulling it up, shaping it into some elaborate form, and then combing it back out with his fingers, braiding it, unwinding it, and starting again. It had nothing on the glorious massage he started with, but it was still nice. He was so gentle, making sure not to pull on any snags and not pull the styles too tight on her aching head.
This new Doctor was so tactile, she mused. Rose couldn’t imagine her last Doctor sitting down and playing with her hair like this. His affection had been all wide grins and brilliant distractions that she had been sure were handpicked to inspire awe in her. An occasional cuddle on the jumpseat if the day had gone spectacularly wrong for one or both of them.
This new Doctor though - well, a girl could get used to this casual intimacy.
Rose hadn’t realized she was practically asleep sitting on the floor until the Doctor reached forward and shook her shoulder.
“Rose, wake up. Come’on, let’s get you to bed.”
She let herself be roused, but when the Doctor pulled her to her feet, the sudden blood rush left her rocking and blinking away black spots. When her heart finally sent blood to her head again, her headache from before came back with a vengeance.
“Oh. Urgh.” She must have swayed again from the pain, because the Doctor’s hands tightened their grip on hers.
He looked at her in concern.
“Are you alright? Is it your head again?”
She nodded, and then flinched when that only amplified the pounding in her skull.
“Right, Medbay before bed then, I think. I’m sure the TARDIS has something that will help settle all those lovely neurons down for you. Oh! Or…” He trailed off, as he pulled her out the library door, and something in the following silence felt tense. Awkward.
“You were saying?” Rose tried to prompt him as they walked down the hall. “Or what, Doctor?”
He was quiet as they entered the Medbay. It wasn't until after he helped Rose up onto an exam table that he spoke.
"Welllll, I was just thinking…” He seemed to be struggling with how to put the next bit. His hand went up to worry at his hair, and his eyes refused to meet hers. “You were attacked telepathically today. The- my people, they had this- it didn’t happen often, but if someone was attacked they could- I suppose you would call it therapy. Kind of like, oh, like physio of the mind. It was the most effective way to recover after a telepathic assault. I was thinking it would help your headache, among other things.”
The stop-start babbling was almost overwhelming in her current state, but Rose thought she got the gist of it.
“You- you’re offering to help my head with ‘telepathic physio’?” She confirmed.
“Um. Yeah. Yeah that sums it up.”
She nodded, and then remembered why she was avoiding that at the moment. Ouch.
“Okay.” His head shot up in surprise, eyes widening as they met hers.
“Okay?”
“Okay, yeah. Go for it. Please do it. Willin’ to try anything me, yeah? ‘Specially if it will help with…” She waved vaguely in the direction of her head.
He was still staring at her agape. Why was he so surprised? She thought she had been doing a pretty good idea of being open to new things in their travels. So why did he seem like this was unexpected?
“But you don’t even like the TARDIS being in your head!” He said, shocked.
Confusion set in for a moment, and then it clicked. Their first trip out. The end of the Earth. She had been mad at him for not telling her about the translation circuit.
“Oh. Doctor, I was only mad because no one asked me if I wanted a sentient ship pokin’ around in my head.” The daft alien.
He held her eyes for a moment, as if he was trying to see if she was telling the truth, before breaking out into a wide smile.
"Well then, in that case, let's get started! I just- you are brilliant, you know that?” And he really was beaming at her like he believed just that.
He moved in front of her so that her knees were almost grazing his torso, and spoke gently to her.
“Okay, I’m going to put my fingers here,” he said, moving his hands up to frame her face and pressing two of his fingers to her temples. “You might feel a bit of a push in your mind - it can be a bit uncomfortable at first, but we can wait until you’re ready before we move on, okay?”
Rose hummed her agreement, and mimicked the Doctor when he closed his eyes
When the Doctor finally pushed his mind toward hers, it was unlike anything Rose had been expecting. Her experience with Cassandra earlier that day had her expecting a sharp shove and being suppressed into a corner of her self.
This was nothing like that.
It was like having a familiar hand slip into hers. Comforting in its familiarity, accompanied by a sense of closeness. It was trust, and care, and support, all wrapped up in a tendril of the Doctor’s self.
It should have been overwhelming, being that close to the very core of someone, but Rose couldn't help thinking that it was brilliant.
Being so focused inward, she startled when he spoke out loud.
“Rose, is this okay?”
Yes, yes of course it was okay. It was lovely in fact. Why couldn’t she find her tongue to tell the Doctor that?
She heard a chuckle from him.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
Oh god, that was embarrassing. Could he hear all of her thoughts?
“If there’s anything you don’t want me to see, just imagine a door over the thought or memories, and close it. I won’t look, promise.”
She immediately conjured up several doors and slammed them shut. She didn’t need the Doctor finding those thoughts on top of everything.
“Okay, I’m going to have a bit of a poke around, turn off those nasty pain signals for you, and make sure there won’t be any lasting damage from today, alright? You might find some memories popping up as I disturb them, sorry about that.”
It was quiet for a moment, and she could sense the Doctor’s mind moving about hers, but she couldn’t have said what he was doing for the life of her.
After a minute, her headache vanished, and she let the relief flood her at the lack of pain.
A moment later, she found herself feeling inordinately pleased with herself. She was confused for a moment, before realizing it had to be the Doctor.
Smug git.
Oi, I heard that! His voice in her head had a layered quality to it, like many people talking in sync. Alright, I’m going to start sorting through today. That feeling you have from the compression - try to pull that to the surface.
Rose could quite easily conjure up the sensation of being packed into a corner of her head. As soon as she had, however, memories of the day started flashing past, all jumbled together. She could feel the Doctor watching with her, and soothing the discomfort that came with the memories as she recalled them.
The chaos of being on the ladder, one second herself, and the next fighting to not be squashed like a bug in her own mind.
Screaming and pleading and begging for the Doctor to be let out of that horrible chamber.
The first time she realized she wasn’t in control of her body.
The elevator shaft, terrified as her body was clumsily flung across to the gap to cling to the Doctor’s back.
The kiss that the stupid flap of skin had used her body to get.
Disappointment reared up, that that had been her first kiss with the Doctor. And it hadn't even been her!
Pffft. Our first kiss was much better than that. She heard the Doctor scoff offhandedly as he finished easing the last of the strain in her head.
What.
Right, all done. I’m just going to gently disconnect. Hang on.
And with that, he slowly disappeared from her mind, leaving her alone with her unanswered questions.
She opened her eyes to the Doctor standing in front of her, watching her carefully.
“How are you feeling?” He sounded concerned, even though he had surely felt several seconds ago exactly how she was faring.
“Yeah, fine. Much better ta.” She grinned up at him, trying to ease his worry, and was happy to get a beaming smile in return.
“Good, good. You did really well, you know. You’ll probably want to get some rest soon though, before you pass out somewhere - telepathic contact can be exhausting if you’re not used to it.”
She nodded and prodded him to move over so she could hop off the exam table.
He helped her out of the Medbay, and they walked hand-in-hand down the hall towards her room. He had a look on his face like he was deep in thought. She supposed she looked deep in thought too, only in her case, she was trying to get up the courage to ask what he had meant by ‘our first kiss was much better'.
Absolute plonker, making a comment like that and scarpering, she thought.
Only he hadn’t really scarpered, had he? He was still there, making sure she was okay, walking her to her door and all.
They finally reached her room, and Rose went to enter, but paused with her hand on the handle. If it was her last chance to ask it…
“Doctor, what did you mean, when you said that today wasn’t our first kiss? I’m pretty sure I would remember something like that.”
He grimaced and tugged on his earlobe, his eyes glued to the floor.
“You caught that, huh?” He looked guilty. She scoffed. Of course she had caught that . “Right. Ahem. You ahhh- you remember what I told you about the Game Station?” He asked.
She nodded warily, wondering what that had to do with it. She vividly remembered that particular conversation. It was the first thing she had grilled him about after Christmas, the moment that they had found a second alone.
“Wellllll, when I took the vortex out of your head, I might have, uh, kissed you. To remove it. The time vortex.”
Rose couldn’t believe her ears.
“You kissed me... to telepathically remove the entirety of Time from my head?” She deadpanned, still not sure if she fully believed him. Why would he kiss her? “Didn’t we just do telepathy with, like…” She mimed bringing her fingers to her temples. “So why’d you kiss me?”
“Well, I- ah. It was the most effective- really, I mean the contact area of fingertips wouldn’t be sufficient for an energy transfer…”
She knew the Doctor was still speaking, trying to justify it. But really, she already knew, didn’t she? There was only one reason that the Doctor would have kissed her, and that was because he wanted to.
Her eyes drifted to his lips of their own volition, and she suddenly wondered what he would do if she ‘returned the sentiment’ so to speak.
She supposed there was only one way to find out.
“Tell me Doctor,” she interrupted his babbling before she could lose her nerve, “our first kiss, did it go anything like this?”
Standing on tiptoe, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and gently pulled his mouth down to hers.
Their lips met, and for a moment, he didn’t move, and Rose was convinced she had made a horrible mistake.
And then all at once his arms wrapped around her, tugging her closer still. And he was kissing her back. Their mouths moved over each other, teeth tugging at lips, tongues tangling. Rose barely noticed when she was backed up against her bedroom door. When the Doctor’s hands moved from her back to run down her sides, oh she noticed that, and she couldn’t help the needy moan that escaped her. In retaliation, she moved one of her hands up to sink into his hair, and was rewarded with a low growl.
When they finally broke apart, it was for a gasp of air, and Rose couldn’t help being a bit smug that the Doctor was breathing as heavily as she was. His hair was sticking up in all directions, his lips were still in a slight pout, as if they had gotten stuck chasing after hers, and his eyes were dark and still utterly focused on her own lips.
She was sure she was in a similar state of disarray.
“So, was it like that, Doctor?” She teased. She loved the way his mouth gaped open and shut while he searched his brain for how he was supposed to reply.
“No, not quite- ahem. Not quite like that.” His voice had pitched up higher at the start than she had ever heard it, before he got it back under control. Yes, she really was quite pleased with herself.
“Well then, how did it go?” She said in her sultriest voice, hoping to provoke him. He swallowed, hard, and it took all her willpower not to pounce on him.
He surprised her again when grabbed her hands and tugged her close, his face going soft, tender. He ran his hands gently up and down her lower arms, and she quickly caught on to the change in mood. His eyes were full of affection, and held hers as he spoke.
“I would say,” he began, oh so softly, “that it went more like this.”
He leaned in and pressed his lips gently to hers.
She could have cried at the tenderness contained in the light brushing of their lips.
The kiss was perfect. It was everything.
And it was finally theirs .
Their new new first kiss.