Work Text:
Karen begins to call for Childe's manager. Zhongli interferes by saying-
"Is there a problem here, madam?"
"And who are YOU supposed to be? I'm out here SUFFERING, not having my daily dose of a pumpkin spice latte, 10% less sugar with caramel swirl, arabica roast, 50% more fo-"
"I happen to be the manager and owner of this fine establishment."
"Ah, so it's YOU..." Karen let out those words like a snake's venom-laced spittle.
"Well, your LOVELY little barista here got my order wrong! And _I_ demand recompense!"
Childe looks bashfully at Zhongli, as if telling him sorry in those puppy eyes of his.
Zhongli lets out a sigh, another problem he would have to solve it may seem.
Calling upon all of Celestia's knowledge bestowed upon him after millennia of his Liyuan rule, the geo-archon-turned-cafe-manager steeled himself, took a deep breath, and put on his best customer smile (as his mortal colleagues had put it). "Well ma'am, it seems exquisitely clear to me where the fault lies in this situation. May I interest you in a di-"
Before the brown-eyed god could even finish proposing his compromise, the white lactose-intolerant ugly-haircut-donning midget bitch opened her pie hole yet again: "WELL what are you gonna do about it? Seriously the service in this entire damn country is so underwhelming I'm just about to call the police. Do you Genshinnies even have police here? Seriously so barbaric and cultureless."
"Our law enforcement is made up of the most prestigiously-trained soldiers-" Before Zhongli could finish his tirade, a box was thrusted at him by the girl in front of her.
"Learn how to be a proper cafe worker and put on the fucking maid outfit." Karen had whipped out her camera, suddenly eager to record the rest of the conflict.
Anxious about the fate of his career, Zhongli could do nothing but sigh and comply like the kinky little sub he is. He took the box to the cafe's stockroom and emerged from it looking the most submissive and breedable he had ever looked.
"Smile for the camera!" Karen began to snap photos which she would later post to her community OnlyFans. A ginger man with a mask in his hair was cheering him on from a corner table.
The cafe's sales boomed and Zhongli is no longer broke.