Chapter Text
Kyoko sent off a final like before planting her phone back in her pocket, looking back at Homura.
“So,” Homura began, “We corner the witch on 4th. There’s a Yakuza hideout there. I’ll draw out a weapons stockpile, then we can overwhelm the witch with our firepower. If that doesn’t work, we can chase it into 3rd, and do the exact same thing. If that doesn’t work then-”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” Kyoko waved her off. “We corner the witch, then blast it to smithereens. Not that hard. Why are you getting so worked up over this?”
“I have been tailing this witch… for multiple weeks.” Homura breathed in deeply and exhaled, as if to perform impromptu meditation. “It has driven me to my absolute wits end. I am very tired and would be ecstatic to see it dead and cold in the ground. Coming to you was a last resort.”
“Woah, you need a massage. Alright, yeah, I’ll help, don’t worry. Just at 5 pm, right?”
“That’s correct.”
Kyoko turned around. “Alright. See you later, oomfie.” Kyoko stopped.
The world seemed to stop behind her. Homura’s ambient breathing paused. For a moment, it felt as if there was absolutely no wind blowing in the air.
“...Oomfie?” Homura questioned.
Oops. I’m using Twitter too much.
“Uh…” Kyoko turned back around to face Homura, raising an eyebrow at her. “It’s, uh, something that Sayaka says…”
“Kyoko, don’t think that I haven’t seen your Twitter account.”
WHAT?!
“It’s an inside joke, I swear!”
Homura huffed. Kyoko hoped it was a laugh. “Don’t worry yourself. Despite my outward appearances, I don’t actually mind internet colloquialisms.”
“Oh, thank God. I thought I was in deep stuff there”
“Of course. So, I’ll be seeing you at 5?”
“Yeah, see ya.”
“I’ll be seeing you… oomfie.”
-
The surreal rooftop of the labyrinth faded to reveal the outside world. A small, black ornament fell slowly in front of the two girls onto the pin, but it did not topple. The witch was defeated.
“Boom.” Kyoko expanded her arms sideways, in a sort of ‘ta-da’ motion. “Witch dead. That all you needed?”
“Yes.” Homura answered. She swished her hair, and then leaned over, picking up the grief seed before them.
“Cool. Well, I’ll be-”
“Wait.”
“Hmm?”
“Kyoko, I do believe that, as oomfies, a mutual victory is something that should be celebrated, correct?”
Kyoko tried not to let her soul out of her body when she heard that, and stuttered, “Y-yeah, sure. W-what do you have in mind?”
Homura slid up to Kyoko, and her hands crawled around her body. She leaned in, pressing their bodies together, and placed her head over Kyoko’s shoulder.
Homura hugged her. Kyoko was being hugged by Homura. Homura was hugging her.
Before Kyoko even had the time to process this, Homura broke away. “Thank you, oomfie.” She stated.
-
Kyoko was on a rooftop, performing some of her habitual magical girl rooftop brooding. At night, of course. The city lights below you with the wind blowing in your hair was a truly wonderful feeling. In that moment, you see what you fight for. You can feel the weight of it on your shoulders, but also the pride that comes with being its savior, as a thousand unsaid ‘thank you’s drifted through the air. Brooding is the essence, the heart and soul of a magical girl.
“Hello Kyoko.” A monotone, raspy voice calls out from behind her.
Of course. She’s here to ruin my brooding.
“Yo, Homura.” Kyoko replies nonchalauntly.
“Might you be busy at this hour?”
“Uh, yeah, actually. My brooding is kinda going off right no-,” Through the darkened skies, a certain smell hit Kyoko’s nose. A familiar one. A tasty one, even. “Are those apples?”
“Yes.” That convinced Kyoko to turn around, seeing Homura carry an entire basket full of bright, red apples. “I bought them fresh for you, oomfie.”
“Woah, wait. You’re still doing that oomfie thing? That’s from, like, a whole day ago.”
“So? Our bond as oomfies is strong, is it not?”
“I mean…”
“It’s strong enough for me to bring you apples, after all.”
“I guess. I just don’t really get why you’re being so chummy with me.”
“It’s what oomfies do for each other.”
“Sure, but it’s kinda…“
“Out of character?”
“Something like that.”
“Please. We’re oomfies now. It only makes sense that I should feel the need to strengthen our bond, be it through gifts, or words of affirmation.”
I started saying oomfie as an in-joke. How did it end up like this?
“Kyoko, do you know how else oomfies can bask in their bond?”
“What?” Kyoko asked, though more so hoping for clarification, rather than an answer.
Homura’s face approached Kyoko’s, and she pressed her lips against the others gracefully. Clearly, Kyoko had received the latter.
Kyoko was shocked, but she didn’t break off immediately, glaring at Homura questioningly. Homura let her lips sit for a second before settling off, returning Kyoko’s stare with a blank look.
“Homura? What are you-?”
“It’s alright,” Homura affirmed. “Oomfies do that.”
Do they?
“Who the hell do you hang with?”
-
“Kyoko. I’m very glad you came, as this meeting is of absolute importance.”
“Yeah, ok, I got it.” Kyoko flopped over on Homura’s sofa, hands rested on her chest. “What’s up? Is there another witch, or something? Walpurgisnacht two?” Homura instantly appeared at Kyoko’s side, grasping her two hands together. “Homura?”
“I need to verify our status as oomfies.”
“Woah, Homura, wait, I don’t think you understand, I’m not from Michigan-”
“It’s alright. Oomfies do this.” Homura stepped over Kyoko’s leg, her knee landing on the couch. She held Kyoko’s hands behind her head, and laid over her, casting a shadow upon Kyoko.
“Oh my God, you’re serious.”
“Of course I am.” Homura stated, holding her intense glare down onto Kyoko.
And holding.
And holding.
And holding.
“Er, Homura?”
“Yes?”
“You gonna, you know, get on with it?”
“I am… not certain what I do now.”
“Uh… Need help?”
“That would be appreciated, oomfie.”
“Well, start kissing, for one. That’s a given.”
“Continue.”
“Uh… massaging, too. That’s important.”
“I see. Go on.”
“Uh… shoot, I don’t know. Just kinda go with the flow, I guess.”
“Most interesting. Yes, that should do. Oomfie, I will be proceeding with the kissing now.”
“Go to town, girl.”
Homura lowered her mouth down to Kyoko’s level, closing her eyes, and tilting her head so as to not clash noses. First starting with a light peck, she escalated to a warm smooch, then to full making out. Kyoko felt the grip on her hands loosen as Homura moved her attention to Kyoko’s body, scrounging around at her waist. Kyoko herself moved her hands over Homura, caressing her back in return, inviting her to move closer.
A palpable amount of sweat started to form on Kyoko’s forehead. That, or Homura was starting to sweat, and it was falling onto her face. One of them was getting hot, and Kyoko really hoped it was herself. She wasn’t sure, though, and pat Homura twice on the back, hoping she got the moment.
Homura rose off of Kyoko, still sporting her signature blank stare. Not sweating. Praise the lord.
“Yo, don’t you think it’s a bit hot in here?”
“Not really, no.”
“Really? Not even hot enough for you to, you know, take my shirt off, maybe?”
“Oh, I believe I understand. You’d like me to, ‘take your shirt off.’ Is that correct?” Homura accentuated.
“What?”
“‘Take your shirt off.’” Homura winked.
“I have no idea what you’re getting at.”
“It’s just a bit of oomfie humor. Pay it no mind.” A hand preyed upon Kyoko’s side, and Homura raised the fabric over Kyoko’s head, exposing her bare chest to the world. Tossing the garment elsewhere, Homura wasted no time in landing herself on Kyoko’s abdomen.
Homura teased by caressing downwards, practically tickling Kyoko’s tummy with her hand. Then, by placing her mouth close to Kyoko’s stomach, gracing against it. Kyoko couldn’t help but gasp as Homura started to chew on her tummy like glue on a playground. The feeling of hickeys being created in real time welled up on Kyoko’s stomach, but she really didn’t care, because dang, that felt good.
Kyoko stroked Homura’s hair in a desperate attempt to express her euphoria, silking her hand down a long, luscious road of strands that seemed to massage her skin in return. Homura did the same, bringing Kyoko’s bangs back, and painting her forehead with kisses, Kyoko getting a good look at Homura’s neck as she did so.
All of the sudden, Kyoko laughed.
“Hmm?” Homura paused. “Is something funny, oomfie?”
“Nah, not really. I just thought, it’s kinda weird.”
“What?”
“I’ve kissed a few girls. But you’re the first one who started kissing me as a joke. It’s kinda funny that way.”
“I don’t understand.” Homura replied.
“Heh. The way you say stuff is cute. You’re cute, Homura.”
“Hmm. Fair enough, I suppose.”
Kyoko pulled Homura in for a tight cuddle. “Just, uh, don’t tell anyone about this. They’ll start thinking I’m a real freak.”
“I see. Yes, I’ll be sure not to do that, oomfie.”
“Uh… yeah, thanks, oomfie.”