Work Text:
Muku couldn’t fall asleep..no not with his mind taking over his consciousness like a blanket, him starring at the ceiling. Kazunari was fast asleep, mainly from doing a lot that day. He felt horribly..mentally that was. Muku didn’t feel like he was enough, like no one would care if he left. Deeply numb, Muku quietly got out of bed, before looking around the dark atmosphere. Kazunari was in a deep sleep, so he turned on the lamp at his desk with no problem. Maybe some manga would help.. he sat down, starting to read his favorite one. His eyes scanned the words, trying to get a grip into the fictional world, running away from the reality and pain. But with no escape, he could feel his body tense up..as tears fell through. Why was he such a failure? He covered his mouth as harsh sobs broke through, his mind racing and his state of being weakening. Muku didn’t belong here.. Up he went, packing all of his stuff. His bed stuff first, then his precious manga. The pinkette’s body shook as goosebumps took over, his face red with his eyes puffy. Why was he still pushing them all down, they would do so better without him. That’s what he thought, at least. Due to his quick pace yet carefulness, he managed to pack things rather quickly, the last thing being Mr William..who had to deal with his useless tears all 17 years of his life. Muku’s body collapsed, landing on the chair by his..old desk. He noticed there were still supplies there that weren’t his, so with the weak writing of his hand he wrote a latter..
“Dear Summer Troupe, and everyone else,
I thought I was at least a little better than I truly am..but I am nothing but a worthless thing on the ground. I never understood why Director accepted my audition in the first place, I wasn’t good at all and they could of chose someone way better. I don’t want to push my troupe any further down, so I’m heading out now. I will still support Mankai, and I wish you all well.
— Muku Sakisaka. “
Several tears and mess up later, the letter was completed, causing Muku to force himself up, as he quietly placed the pencil he used down. It wasn’t his anyway. With that note, he placed it down on Kazunari’s desk so he could read it when he got up, before taking his bag of stuff. He was..actually doing this. Just as Muku’s brain screamed at him to stay, his feet rushed him out, quietly walking out the door. Now you see, he was now walking out of the dormitory. And from there, he just walked for a while as tears jerked from his face, rolling all the way down his cheeks and down his chin. Muku felt so weak and so numb, yet wouldn’t take a seat as he just felt nothing of that specific situation. Later in the morning, around 7, he went to look for his parents’s house..where he obviously had to stay. He was so done with everything, he however couldn’t just leave.. Muku was just going to try to get by in life..even though it seemed even doing that made him feel like a complete failure. Once he made it to his parents’s doorsteps, he had the key so he just.. walked in, quietly closing and locking the door behind him as sniffles released. He was scared..but he couldn’t go back now,, as he went to where his room was- at least where it was before Mankai, and it was his bedroom once again now. He quietly entered the room, then when the door shut that’s when it hit. Muku fell onto the ground sobbing, his body leaning against the wall next to the door of his room as he curled up. This was all..such a mess. He was such a mess. He felt so horrible yet so..less. no emotion at all. Why couldn’t this end? Muku, with little body strength, got up slowly as he went to flop onto his bed. with a bag still in hand, he took out Mr William.. dropped the bag onto the floor and then snuggled the teddy bear.
“..You hate me, don’t you, Mr. William?” he sniffled, holding the bear as he closed his eyes, tears uncontrollably falling down his cheeks. That was continued, until he fell asleep.