Work Text:
"I'll never love another person again."
It's something that slips out of Shen Yuan's mouth out of habit now. A simple phrase he utters every single day is a source of affirmation for him. Of course, it is. He repeated it for 30 years, after all.
He's not lonely by any means! He would never think he is since he could meet the village nearby at any time. However, he would never admit that he's close with anyone. No one knows who he is. All the villagers think he's Shen Jiu.
He's not, but that's a lie he has to keep.
Shen Yuan didn't know what to expect when he first transmigrates into the story. However, it wasn't meeting the supposed villain of the story as a child. To think that the villain would have such a tragic backstory!
So, of course, he cared for him as he would an older brother would. They cared for each other. So many years passed, bleeding wounds healed over time. Shen Jiu could finally trust another again.
Maybe that's what caused it. Shen Yuan put so much care and love into Shen Jiu. Deep in his heart, he truly fell in love with Shen Jiu. And that love cursed Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan wanted to believe the curse was a misunderstanding. He hoped so desperately it was. However, Shen Jiu pushed Shen Yuan away. Their relationship broke apart, and Shen Yuan was heartbroken. The familiar love-fueled Shen Yuan's powers. Now, he was a human, cursed with the restriction of his magic.
That same love betrayed him over again. A wing mangled when he thought Shen Jiu wanted to see him again. The other wing sliced protecting Shen Jiu. Shen Yuan is weaker now.
Shen Jiu didn't care. Did he ever?
Shen Yuan cannot leave the forest. The life of the trees and growth mocked him. The once comforting greenery now laughed at him. What's a nature dragon without his wings? They keep laughing.
The divine magical monster feared by humankind bounded to a small forest because he allowed himself to be cursed. He would laugh at himself as well. And he did too. Maybe to cope, Shen Yuan doesn't know anymore.
For 30 years, he was bound to a forest no one dared to venture. Shen Jiu left long ago with the wings. It was so unbearably lonely. It's something Shen Yuan would never admit. Never.
The first person to discover he's a dragon nearly killed him. He was surprised by the sympathetic person, granted with the help of his situation. He lied. Shen Yuan started little lies and continued so many more. He had to live.
"A dragon cursed me before it died."
Shen Yuan felt immensely guilty for it. Of course, he did. He didn't lie so much to the villagers nearby because he would feel guilty.
"I'm simply a dragon-tailed witch."
He didn't lie. Not completely. It didn't matter. Shen Yuan is never going to meet this person again.
But he did, in another unfortunate situation.
The guilt ate away at him. It was killing him, quite literally. He'll only admit if he sees this person again.
And he did. Liu Qingge meets with him holding Shen Yuan's severed wings. Nature expressed his feelings for him, crying a harsh rain before them.
"I... I can't accept this..."
"Why not? They bound you, don't they?"
"You wouldn't give them to a dragon."
Liu Qingge's frowned at this answer, pushing the encased wings into Shen Yuan's arm.
"I'm giving them to you."
Shen Yuan's arms trembled with his wings in his hands. Thunder starts clashing violently. Did he ever want his wings back? They brought so much pain and reminded him of betrayal. He hands them back.
"A dragon never cursed me."
"But you said-"
"A human cursed me. I am a dragon cursed to stay in a human body."
"That's not possible!"
"But it is. The proof is before you."
It wasn't betrayal when Liu Qingge left. But it sure hurt the same way. Shen Yuan thought it was better this way. Lying was never something he liked. It made him weak.
The wings stayed with Shen Yuan. He wished Liu Qingge took them away. However, that would have bound him to wherever Liu Qingge took them. Maybe he figured that out as well.
Shen Yuan might finally admit that he's lonely now. Only quietly, he did.
"I don't want to be alone."
He was surprised that an entire guild hasn't tried killing him yet. What was Liu Qingge doing to allow him to stay alive? He was more surprised to see Liu Qingge again.
"You're a dragon."
"Yes..."
"And for 30 years, you stayed here? Alone?"
"What a cruel way to remind me."
"Then why are you still here?"
Shen Yuan fiddled with his sleeves, adjusting them nervously.
"I don't know."
"Are you punishing yourself?"
Shen Yuan wouldn't have phrased it like that, but he was, wasn't he?
"Things are much more complicated than that."
"Then tell me. I'll listen."
And Liu Qingge did. Shen Yuan tried his best but couldn't hold his tears. He cried without knowing until Liu Qingge wiped them away. He cried harder.
"Were you lonely all that time?"
"..."
Shen Yuan never wanted to admit it to someone else. But he did, along with his affirmation spilling out as well.
"Then I'll be the exception."
Shen Yuan blinked in confusion. Didn't he said he was lonely?
"You won't love anyone again. Then, I'll be the exception."
Shen Yuan didn't know he needed to hear the words. He desperately wanted to love someone again. This time, he'll make an exception.
"Then you have to be ready to take responsibility."
"I am. I wouldn't have said so otherwise."
Shen Yuan didn't realize that the greenery glowed a little brighter. Or that the mocking laughter they held finally stopped. Liu Qingge didn't tell Shen Yuan how beautiful the pink flowers bloomed on his horns. It was his little secret.