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one.
Their little holiday in Florida comes to a close as fast as it begins, and Dan and Phil once again find themselves on a plane. The time has come for them to leave the sunshiney wonder that is Orlando, Florida and reenter the gloomy cold of London, England. And even though the two of them love London, it’s never fun to leave the warmth for the bitter chill.
“What are the odds of it not being two degrees when we get back to London?” Phil asks as he and Dan make their way onto the plane in search of their seats.
Dan groans a little. “I don’t even want to think about how cold it’s going to be back home,” he says. “Let me just pretend that the weather isn’t going to be finger numbing and completely horrible.”
Phil laughs a little. “Okay,” he says and then he points to a row of seats, “Here we are.” There’s a man already seated by the window of their row, leaving the other two seats open for Dan and Phil.
“This should be fun,” Dan says under his breath, but loud enough for Phil to hear. The two of them always have interesting experiences when they’re sat next to other people on planes. Or, at least Phil always has the unusual stories to share because Dan always falls asleep on their flights back home, and Phil is always the one wide awake.
Phil bites his lip, to keep himself from laughing, as he and Dan quietly sink into their seats. Phil’s phone buzzes a moment later with a text from Dan.
he looks angry.
Phil’s lips twitch a little as he types back, you’ve only looked at him for about three seconds.
are my instincts ever wrong?
well in all fairness, you didn’t think you liked cat when you first met her and now she’s one of your best friends.
hush that was one time.
you thought the same thing about louise.
circumstantial evidence.
you probably thought the same thing about me when we first met too.
now that is false. i thought you were amazing when i first met you - no pun intended.
aww :] well you were my biggest fan. and you followed me until i loved you.
don’t start, or i will literally delete your number.
Phil laughs quietly to himself, which earns a glare from the cranky looking man seated next to him and Dan gives him a look that says, “I told you so.”
two.
Dan gets fidgety when he’s bored, and Phil can’t blame him because there’s nothing more boring than an eight hour flight. Granted it’s only been two hours into their flight, but there still isn’t much to do on flights in general.
He shifts around in his seat countless times, playing with the loose seams on his shirt - and on Phil’s as well - and eventually going to play around with his hot towel from the stewardess. He fiddles with it in his hands, twirling it around in circles as if it’s the most interesting and the most fun thing in the world. Phil’s always admired that about Dan; he’s always able to make the most of what little he has.
When they first moved into their London flat, the two of them had nothing - no money, no furniture, no wifi for almost two weeks. Even when all their flat had was a blow up mattress in the living room and a dozen candles for light sources, Dan made it seem like they lived in a mansion. Every night he’d set up his laptop and play a movie, or a TV show, or a new anime for them to check out, and he’d wrap the two of them up in a blanket, and he’d light all of their candles, and it was kind of perfect. Dan never made it seem like they were living in an unfurnished apartment that they could barely afford while they waited for some word from Radio One about their show pilot, but instead he made it seem like they had everything and anything they could have asked for. Always making the most out of what little they had.
Phil sometimes wished that things were still like that - simple. Not that he doesn’t love his life now and all of the amazing things he has and all of the great opportunities he’s been given, but it goes without saying that a life of just himself and Dan is better than anything.
His thoughts are interrupted when Dan accidentally swats him in the face with his hot towel, causing Phil to nearly jump out of his seat - which makes Angry Pete next to him glare at him yet again.
“Dan Towel,” Phil jokes to him and Dan laughs softly, but still rolls his eyes at Phil’s terrible and unoriginal pun.
three.
Phil can hear Dan singing quietly to himself, not really any song in particular but still sort of singing nonetheless. The soft “do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,” is music to Phil’s ears and better than anything his iTunes and Spotify could offer. He loves when Dan sings; granted he’s not fit to be a member of Pentatonix or One Direction, but his voice is just so soft and soothing. And he’s almost always in key, which is more than Phil can say for himself who struggles to find a key to sing in in the first place.
He gets out his camera, raising it without a word because Dan’s used to this kind of thing by now, and he turns it on, filming as Dan continues to sing and fumble around with a hot towel. Phil stares ahead at the camera with a blank look on his face - to represent how utterly tired he is right now - while Dan glances from the camera over to him briefly, then behind him at the man sat next to Phil who angrily closes his window shade in response to Dan’s singing. It clatters as loudly as a window shade can, but the two of them catch the hint.
Phil lowers his camera and Dan falls silent almost immediately. “Something tells me he doesn’t think I have the X Factor,” he jokes.
“I think you have the X Factor,” Phil tells him, and Dan just rolls his eyes in obvious disagreement. Phil never understood how someone as bright and beautiful and talented and intelligent as Dan could fail to see his own worth. He’s never been good at taking compliments, always quick to deny the truth. It could be because he’s humble or it could be because he’s still struggling to see in himself what others see in him. But whatever the reasoning may be, Phil never tires of telling Dan all of the wonderful things about himself. It sure isn’t difficult either - Phil could name about a hundred things he likes about Dan starting from the dimples in his cheeks to the way his fingers fly effortlessly across the black and white keys of his piano.
Dan Howell is great, there’s no doubt about that. And Phil finds himself lucky to be able to remind him day after day.
four.
“Wanna watch a movie?” Phil asks as he gets his laptop out, unable to cope with the silence of just sitting there and doing nothing.
“Sure.” Dan takes the headphone bud that Phil offers to him, the other going in Phil’s ear, and he leans over closer to him while Phil sifts through his iTunes for something to watch. The brunet snorts quietly. “Big Hero 6 - why am I not surprised?”
“All biases aside, it was a really good film,” Phil tells him.
“Yeah. The Male Technicians were my favorite part,” Dan replies, and Phil laughs. He still can’t wrap his mind around the fact that he and Dan were in a movie. Out of all of the people that Disney could’ve asked, they asked them. Them! Two people who barely have any experience in acting alone, nevertheless voice acting, and Disney wanted them to have a cameo role in one of their biggest animated films to date. It’s still hard for Phil to grasp onto that fact, and it just goes to show how crazy his life had become over the years.
He supposes he has Dan to thank for that. He and Dan are a team, and almost half of the things they two of them have been able to do, has been because they’re Dan and Phil. And even better, everything they’ve been able to do, all of these opportunities and experiences, they’ve been able to do together. As much as people on the internet - and people who know them in real life - like to joke about the pair of them being conjoined at the hip, it’s kind of true. They do almost everything together - live together, work together, go out together. It’s never bothersome though, because Phil can’t think of a single person he’d rather spend his life with. Except Sarah Michelle Gellar maybe.
“Let’s watch it.” he says, and he plays the movie, Dan huddling closer to him to get a better look at the screen. Phil quickly glances over at him and smiles. He can’t sit through Big Hero 6 without thinking of the fact that Dan, who for the longest time wanted nothing more than to be an actor, finally had his dream come true. And he supposes he can thank himself for that as well.
five.
Dan barely makes it to the end of the movie, exhaustion taking over him about halfway through causing his eyes to flutter shut several times. Phil notices out of the corner of his eye. and he smiles a little when he sees Dan fighting sleep. After a while, Dan sighs softly, and Phil glances over at him. His eyes are shut but it’s almost as if he can see Phil anyway because he mutters, ‘I’m not sleeping.”
Phil chuckles lightly. “Sure you’re not,” he replies.
He raises his hand to reach out and brush and ornery strand of Dan’s hair back into place, but he recoils almost immediately when Dan says, “Don’t touch my hair.” His eyes are still closed and Phil briefly wonders just how he knew what Phil was going to do, when he remembers that he always plays with Dan’s hair while he sleeps. He figures that Dan must’ve been awake on at least one or two occasions, and that makes Phil smile a little.
Dan’s always had a knack for pretending he doesn’t notices Phil’s little idiosyncrasies - he pretends not to care when Phil puts stickers on everything in their flat, he pretends not to notice how Phil leaves his socks all over the place, he pretends to be asleep so Phil can play with his hair. Anyone else can’t help but to point those things out - “why are you so uncoordinated?” “why do you know so many animal facts?” - but Dan just lets them slide. Maybe it’s because he’s used to it all, maybe it’s because he can’t help but to be polite and let Phil do as he pleases.
Or, maybe there’s a part of Dan that actually likes those things about Phil; maybe he kind of likes that Phil does all of these weird things. Maybe he’s not just grown accustomed to them, but he’s actually quite fond of them now. Because in all honesty, Phil is about as unorthodox as they come and sometimes he thinks that he scares people off, but Dan is here to stay. Dan likes the parts of him that other people don’t understand, he likes the things about Phil that set him apart from everyone else. He never makes Phil feel bad or ashamed for who he is, and it’s not as though he needs the validation - but there’s just something about knowing that Dan loves him and accepts him for who he is that makes me so unafraid to be himself.
Phil hadn’t realizes he was staring at Dan - or that their film had ended and the credits were now rolling - until the brunet’s eyes flutter open, and he looks over at Phil with his eyebrow raised. “What?” he asks.
Phil blinks. “What, what?”
“Why’re you staring at me?” Dan asks him.
“Oh.” Phil’s cheeks flush red and he glances back to his laptop, looking through his iTunes for the next movie to put on. “No reason,” he finally replies. “I just like to look at you.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “You’re so lame.” he tells him, and he settles himself comfortably in his seat, his eyes closing again.
“Can I have my other headphone?” Phil asks. “Y’know, since you’re going to fall asleep in about five minutes anyway.”
“I am not,” Dan insists, but he complies, taking out Phil’s other headphone and handing it to him.
“Goodnight sleeping beauty,” Phil says with a short chuckle, to which Dan replies, “Fuck off.”
six.
Dan’s head lols over until it’s resting comfortably - or as comfortably as one can manage on an airplane - on Phil’s shoulder. Dan is always so beautiful when he sleep. He always looks so peaceful, so relaxed. And since Dan is one of the most stressed out people Phil has ever met, he’s always comforted by the fact that for several hours a day, Dan’s mind shuts up and he can finally be at peace.
He’s such a worrier, that Dan is, and Phil has never really understood how Dan manages to find worry with every little thing - but he supposes that’s because he’s the complete opposite. He can manage to make it through the day with minimal stresses and anxieties, while Dan is almost always on the verge of tearing his hair out for one reason or another. Phil wishes he would just learn to relax a little; it can’t be good for his health to be so stressed.
Dan tries to reassure him that he’s fine, but Phil can hear him pacing in the middle of the night and he can’t help but to worry. In his own way, Phil is quite the worrier too, but in a different way than Dan is. While Dan worries about deadlines and videos and work, Phil just worries about Dan. He worries about him sleeping enough, about him eating enough, about him taking care of himself. And truthfully, it’s a bit silly; because Dan is a grown man who is more than capable of taking care of himself and he definitely doesn’t need Phil to baby him. But Phil still finds himself worrying about him from time to time.
Phil thinks it’s just because he loves him. He really, really loves him.
seven.
Phil turns his movie off about halfway through it, unable to sit through it for a second longer, and he tilts his head to rest atop of Dan’s. He closes his eyes, knowing very well that he isn’t going to fall asleep, and he listens to the sound of Dan breathing.
It may come across as slightly creepy, but Phil is always enjoyed the silence where all he can hear is Dan’s soft breathing. It’s comforting, a gentle reminder than Dan is always there. And sometimes, Phil really needs that reminded.
After losing his first, and for a long time only, best friend in uni, Phil couldn’t help but to feel lost. It was almost as if he was just floating through time, alive not really living. Because he didn’t care about anything; he had just lost the most important person in his life, so why should things like school and good grades and graduating and getting a job mean anything to him? He spent half of that semester asleep in his dorm, because sleep was the only peace that came to him. When he was asleep, he didn’t have to deal with the constant reminders that his best friend was gone. And even better, when he was asleep, the two of them were reunited again.
Now granted, he did manage to shake himself out of his funk and get himself back on track, but even for a while after that found himself faking a smile and saying “I’m fine” with such conviction that even he managed to believe it after a while. And, sure, there were days where he actually did feel okay but there was always a voice in the back of his mind that told him he wasn’t okay, and maybe he would never be okay.
And then he met Dan. And he started smiling for real, and he started laughing again, and it was as if the dark cloud that loomed over his head was being interrupted by sunlight. Dan was everything that Phil didn’t know he needed, and while their relationship took off rather quickly, Phil wouldn’t have it any other way. He has a best friend again, and he doesn’t feel so lost and alone anymore, and he’s happy. God, he’s so happy.
It’s no secret that Phil had saved Dan from himself a long time ago, but what no one - not even Dan himself - really knows is, Dan saved Phil too. And day in and day out, Phil is so, so thankful.
eight.
A voice over the loudspeaker announces that they’re about to descend into England. Phil is more than greatful; his back and neck ache terribly and he doesn’t know how he managed to stay awake for the entire duration of the flight but he knows he’s going to need the world’s longest nap as soon as they’re back in their flat. He can’t wait to rest his head on his pillow and allow his duvet to wash over him like an ocean’s wave on the beach. He can’t wait to sink down into his mattress, never to get up until he feels fully rested.
And even more so than that, he can’t wait until Dan is curled up in bed next to him, his soft hair tickling under Phil’s nose, their bodies curved together like the top of a question mark. He can’t wait until they both drop down in bed together, too tired to change out of their jeans or even get in the shower to wash the stench of an eight hour flight off of them. He can’t wait to wrap his arms around Dan and pull him in close, kissing the back of his neck and his shoulders. Neither of them would say anything, they’d just lie together in utter bliss until Dan rolls over so he and Phil are facing each other. And he’ll whisper softly, “I love you,” just because he can. And Phil will smile and whisper, “I love you too,” back to him - just because he can.
Dan stirs next to him, pulling himself out of his slumber and yawning as he rubs his eyes. “Are we home?” he asks tiredly.
Phil smiles. Physically, they’re home; they’re back in London, and soon they’ll be at home back in their flat. But home isn’t always a place or a building; for Phil, home is a person. It’s two lanky arms and two incredibly long legs. It’s messy brown hair that curls when it’s wet, and chocolate brown eyes that shine in the sunlight. It’s a loud hyena laugh, and unbelievably loud swearing. It’s Dan. Dan is his home. And for the past eight hours, Phil has already been home.
“Yeah,” he says to Dan. “We’re home.”