Work Text:
(i)
The first time Donhyuck asks him if he wants to make out, Johnny ends up laughing right in his face. They’re at a shooting for their neo zone album, all dressed up with bomber jackets and caps and leather pants, which - Johnny thought they left that one in the fire truck era, but alas. Taeyong is taking his solo pictures right now, and the rest of them are either cheering him on (Doyoung), on the hunt for food (Jaehyun and Yuta) or sleeping (Mark).
Johnny himself is bored out of his mind, trying to pass the time by blowing up Ten’s phone with cat memes. He knows he’s being annoying, but it’s too hot in his jacket and his face feels thick with make-up, and right now all he wants to do is go home and lay in his bed for all eternity.
His very depressing life goals get interrupted by someone falling down onto the couch next to him, and as he looks up to see who dared to put their feet in his lap, he’s met with big, warm brown eyes and a smile that’s the equivalent of sunshine on a hot summer day.
Donghyuck. Haechan. In times like these, when there’s people around, but there’s also those big sparkly eyes looking solely at him, and the lines are getting blurred, he just isn’t 100% sure.
Sometimes Johnny wonders how that 13 year old boy with ugly shorts and a bowl cut, who sung like it was everything he had in life, that 16 year old boy with heavy eyeliner who wore bandanas, that boy who fell off his hoverboard more than once (but got back up on it, every time again) has turned into the Haechan who’s all cuddled up next to him right now.
This Haechan carries himself with a confidence that has grown over the years of being in the spotlight, quick on his feet and even quicker in his thinking. He used to be soft, rounded around the edges in the way he laughed and the slope of his shoulders. Now, he’s older, more assured and more jagged, most of the baby fat long since disappeared and eyes sharp, but underneath there’s still that boy that wanted to do nothing but sing and make his hyungs laugh.
The stylists found ways to compliment his sun kissed skin and pretty eyes, now. The hair in the back of his nape is a soft blond, contrasting with the dark black framing his face, and his skin looks like honey and cinnamon, no longer covered with a concealer that’s just a tint too light. There’s a leather jacket hanging off his shoulders, filled with buttons and patches and he just-
He looks good, all grown up, but in his eyes there’s still this glint of mischief and youthness that reminds Johnny he’s looking at his dongsaeng, the one that creeped into his bed all those years ago because he couldn’t sleep and changed his ringtone to Baby by Justin Bieber because he’s the coolest, hyung!
He’s pulled back into the real world when he realizes the boy is talking to him, lips moving at a rapid pace with just half of a lopsided smile. There are smile lines by his eyes, ones that deepen when Donghyuck looks up at him brightly, expectantly.
“What?” Johnny prides himself in always paying attention to his surroundings, almost subconsciously listening to whatever’s said to him, but with Donghyuck - Haechan - it’s different, lips just a bit too pink and skin just a bit too smooth for Johnny to focus.
It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again because the quirk of the boy’s eyebrow is just so distracting, but that’s okay. Donghyuck knows by now, which is why he just laughs, head thrown into his neck just a bit too much, bearing his clavicles before he’s repeating the question. Proposal.
“If you want to kiss? Make out? I’m bored and the storage room’s empty right now.” He’s still smiling but it’s almost predatory now, a cheshire grin. Johnny can’t get himself to look away. But he’s also disturbed by the offer. Kind of. Just a little bit.
Baffled is a better word maybe, and so he does the first thing to fill the silence that comes to mind and just. Laughs. Right in Haechan’s face, with thigh-slapping and wheezing and everything.
The boy sitting next to him blinks once, twice, before he’s laughing too, but it’s a bit softer. A bit quieter, more composed. He leans into Johnny’s shoulder for a moment before pulling back, and it’s like he’s searching his hyung’s face for something, a hidden message in his eyes and the curl of his lips. A promise, or a rejection.
Whatever it is he finds, it seems to please him, and he’s going in to say something else when they’re interrupted. He’s called for his solo pictures by the photographer, and the boy stands up slowly, rests his hand on Johnny’s shoulder, letting it linger just a little too long for it to be innocent.
And it’s when he’s posing in front of the camera just a few minutes later, lips turned into almost a pout and pinky delicately resting on his cheek that Johnny realises he hadn’t actually responded to the question thrown his way.
Or that he can't immediately think of an answer.
(ii)
It becomes kind of a thing after that, the offer to swap spit. (Johnny internally cringes at the way he words it, but really, that’s what it comes down to).
All of them are gathered again, in one of the practice rooms, their Punch comeback steadily approaching. It’s been a few hours of on and off dancing, reviewing positions and trying to synchronise their moves. The exhaustion is starting to hit after going over the choreography three times in a row when luckily Taeyong calls for a break, holding up one of his hands - 5 minutes, guys - before turning back and starting to engage into a conversation with their choreographer, arms gesturing animatedly.
Johnny’s walking over to the mirror, gulping down his water while doing so when he catches sight of Donghyuck’s figure.
The boy looks like he just collapsed onto the ground the moment Taeyong let them, leaning backwards on his hands and with spread legs. There’s a little droplet trailing down his collarbone, disappearing into the tank top he’s wearing and the hair in the back of his neck is curled from the sweat. Birthmarks are littered around the curve of his neck, forming a constellation of sorts.
He still looks beautiful. Johnny can’t take his eyes off of him.
Donghyuck seems to notice, too, and he looks up through his lashes. It’s a little too dark, a little too determined, and Johnny feels like a little boy who got caught looking at candy, deliberating his next move.
The other boy’s face lightens though, as he leans back and softly shakes the locks of hair framing his face away. He trains his eyes on Johnny again, and this time it’s open, inviting. He’s lured in.
He goes to sit next to the boy, tries to keep his balance as he squats down and Donghyuck gives him a light push, eyes narrowing to two smiley lines as he ultimately lets himself fall onto the ground with a light thump. Johnny grins back.
There is a lock of hair, damp from sweat hanging in front of Donghyuck’s face and Johnny reaches out before he can help it, carefully tucking it behind the younger’s ear as the boy’s hand wraps around his wrist, holding him close as he tries to pull away.
Donghyuck’s skin is hot from the dancing, smooth and soft as always, a little bit of boy to be found in one who’s grown up to be a man. Johnny cradles his cheek, entranced by the subtle blush that’s starting to spread, a little bit of pink on a canvas of honey.
Then, Donghyuck seems to realize something, sparks appearing into his eyes and a smirk coming onto his pretty face, and for a moment Johnny can’t breath, too enraptured by the little quirk of his mouth. He’s staring.
The boy knows, of course he does. For how obnoxious and impatient Haechan might seem at times, Donghyuck has always been perceptive, almost extremely so, and especially around his hyungs. He picks up every little gesture and whisper with big, almost wise, eyes. He knows everything, about everyone.
(Even though his head’s quite small, it’s full of secrets).
And so, it’s no surprise when he leans forward, until he’s the only thing in Johnny’s eyesight, head turned just a little bit to the side. There’s a teasing lilt to his words.
“Do you wanna kiss me hyung?”
Johnny’s first reflex this time is to pull back, but Donghyuck’s grip on his arm is strong, hard enough to let him know he can’t just walk away, and though he could easily overpower the younger boy and force himself away, he doesn’t. He would never.
Donghyuck has a serious look in his eyes, as he looks up at him expectedly, and Johnny swallows nervously, too many words piling up on the tip of his tongue, ready to spill out the moment Donghyuck would do so much as ask, or smile. Or breathe.
There’s a yell behind him, and then feet running over towards the music installation before their song starts playing again. Donghyuck sighs deeply, rolls his eyes, and goes to stand up. Johnny can’t help but look up at him, following him with his eyes as he’s left alone with a soft pat on the head and the boy goes to annoy Mark.
He only realises he’s been left alone sitting on the floor when he gets kicked in the back by Doyoung, who’s looking down at him entirely unimpressed, and reaching out his hand at the same time. He hauls him up with gritted teeth, Johnny not helping at all with legs that still feel like jelly.
The intro plays again, and they go to stand in their standing positions. Beside him, Donghyuck reaches out and squeezes his wrist just the littlest bit.
(iii)
The third time is a bit different, and Johnny almost breaks.
It happens while they’re filming for a tv show, for christ’s sake, all 23 of them and it’s busy and chaotic and so, so fun.
It’s been an afternoon of games and sport activities, and Johnny’s head almost spins thinking about all the content they’ve already filmed, smiles softly as he tries to envision the smiles and enthusiasm of their fans about seeing all of them interact and bond.
Because that’s really what’s been happening, groups blurring together as people gravitate towards one another, awkwardness turning to loud laughs and light touches, admiration from afar to comfortable postures and the exchange of kakao tags.
And in the middle of this huge gathering, you can’t help but find one boy.
Haechan’s surrounded by the other 00’ liners, high on Yangyang’s adoring laughs and Renjun’s sarcastic quips and the way Sungchan can’t seem to look away for longer than a minute. He loves the attention, thrives off of it and Johnny’s almost painfully happy for him. He deserves it, to bathe in the spotlight with all his peers around him, gushing and laughing and joking.
And so Johnny stays away, admires from a distance and busies himself by talking to Taeil and hanging around with Ten, catching up with some of the members he hasn’t seen in a while. He’s busy comparing biceps size with Hendery (he’s still winning, of course, but the younger boy has been trying to catch up) when Haechan approaches them, skin tan and healthy from being outside the whole day. He flutters his lashes, makes a joke to Hendery, who excuses him to go stalk Xiaojun, before turning towards him.
He looks so, so happy. Having soaked in the attention and being given the opportunity to hang out with the Dreamies - Renjun’s quips, Jeno’s smile - and his new friends has done him good and it seems like he’s glowing when he stands up on his tippy toes, reaches for Johnny’s jaw to pull him in closer. He stops at a distance though, studies his face before leaning in just a little bit, eyelashes brushing the taller man’s cheek as he goes to whisper in his ear.
“Johnny hyung, do you want to kiss me?”
And the thing is. Johnny almost does it. This boy, who has everyone wrapped around his finger, is looking at him and him alone, with stars in his eyes, so content and fearless and utterly trusting, like Johnny holds all the answers. His voice is like velvet and the hand holding his face is warm, and he subconsciously curls his hands around the smaller’s waist, pulling him in just a little.
There’s Donghyuck, and there’s Haechan. In the light of the soft evening sun, skin gleaming and eyes bright, the boy looks almost ethereal, and Johnny has a hard time differentiating between the two. Maybe he doesn’t have to, maybe it doesn’t matter.
Yes , he wants to whisper, Yes I do. Is that wrong? Would you let me? There’s questions raging through his head but Donghyuck’s warm palms, carefully cradling his jaw, ground him. Right now, he can’t seem to think, can’t say anything that’ll do the boy in front of him justice, and how can he possibly not give him what he wants?
He leans in just the littlest bit, pauses, looks him in the eyes. Nobody seems to be paying attention to them, too caught up in socialising and catching up with other members, and couldn’t a day as perfect as this, with a boy as perfect as Donghyuck in his arms, only be allowed to end this way?
He’s gonna do it right now.
There’s a holler behind them, the sound of feet getting closer.
He can’t do it right now.
It’s Donghyuck who pulls away this time, eyes casting down for moment as Jaemin wraps himself around the boy’s shoulders, gushing about the barbecue they’ll have and how they did so good at the games this afternoon, the two of them stumbling as the younger boy guides them back to the tents, only sparing Johnny a kind nod of his head.
He’s frozen, unable to collect his thoughts as his head is raging through feelings of fear, disappointment, frustration. An overwhelming amount of love.
He meets Donghyuck’s eyes, who’s looking over his shoulder as his lips slowly form words, lightly struggling against the death grip his friend has around his wrist. Another smile appears on his face like sunshine on a cloudy day.
There’s a teasing lilt to the way he speaks his words, one that Johnny can differentiate even from that far away as he sees those words being spoken once again. The lines around his eyes appear again as he lightly scrunches his nose, and to anyone else witnessing it is nothing but just a funny interaction between dongsaeng and hyung.
But there’s a promise of something else. A wink and a whisper and Johnny knows that he won’t have to wait much longer.
(+i)
And then, there is that one time,the fourth one. The one he’s been waiting for since the day they were filming NCT world. They finally got a day off after weeks off practicing and performing, photo shoots until early in the morning. Promotions are so good as over, only a few more things planned in the next couple of days, and Johnny’s elated.
He’s so, so ready, a list of things he wants to do in the notes app on his phone and so he goes out to shop and watches a movie and has dinner with Ten and Kun and it’s all so nice and refreshing he could almost cry. It’s nice to have a normal day, a normal life, for once, and Johnny can feel the knots in his back relaxing, the anxiety that seems to always be residing inside his chest slowly dissipating.
It’s already evening when he returns to his room, mind buzzing from the wine he drank at dinner and giddy from the whole day of caring for himself, surrounded by company he enjoyed and getting to do the things he longed for.
Well, most of it.
Donghyuck’s laying in bed, snuggled in his duvet, and he’s wearing basketball shorts and a sweater that’s too big on him. Johnny’s sweater, the one he’s been missing since laundry day last week. He should probably get mad about it.
But you should’ve seen him, hair soft and swept in front of his face, eyes bright as he turned towards the door, getting up slightly to see who’s at the door before falling right back down, chuckling, teasingly waving the oversized sleeve of the hoodie when he catches Johnny looking at it. He’s just so, so cute like this, walls down and eyes for no-one but him.
“Hey, hyung”, his voice now is softer than all the other times he has asked, but there’s a joking tone to it, and Johnny still tenses. He knows what’s coming and this time is different, answer ready on the tip of his tongue.
“Yeah?”
“I’m bored”, He sounds cheeky even like this, all languid and stretched out, safe in the space of their own room, and Johnny almost loses himself in the way his shirt drags up when he lifts his hands to rearrange the pillow. Then, “Do you want to make out?”
And the boy looking at him, that boy isn’t Haechan or Full Sun or anyone else. This isn’t the boy that acts weird and annoying to please the fans, that attacks them with hugs and kisses because he knows they’ll shove them away, that makes a joke out of it. In times like these, Johnny catches a glimpse of the waves and the beach, of friendly neighbors and the giggling of children, of who this boy laying in front of him once was; who he still is in moments as vulnerable as this one.
This boy is Donghyuck, and God is Johnny in love with him.
“Yeah”, he answers, and it comes out so raw and honest that it surprises even himself. “I’d like to. If that would be okay with you, Hyuck?”
Johnny expected the boy to react in a lot of different ways. Laugh in his face, maybe, tell him that it was a joke or jump on him, drag him into a heated making out session. But he should’ve known better, he knows Donghyuck better than that, so when the boy just gasps and immediately after buries his head into the pillow, he isn’t all that surprised.
He decides to give him time, turning back to sit on his own bed and trailing his hand over the exposed bit of Donghyuck’s spine, caressing it until it disappears under the sweater. After some time, he moves up, hands slowly starting to trace the constellation of birthmarks he can't seem to get off his mind. There’s a hitched breath, and then a gurgle coming from the pillow.
The next big Dispatch headline: Johnny Suh from NCT 127 kills own maknae by making him choke on his own spit.
“Baby?” Another high-pitched squeak. Donghyuck looks up for just a second, locking eyes with him immediately, before burrowing his face in his hands. Johnny suppresses a giggle.”What’s wrong love?”
At this point the boy’s ears are so red that they look like they’re burning, and Johnny would become a little worried if it wasn’t for the way Donghyuck was lightly squirming, small smile peeking from in between his fingers. So instead, he coos, hand reaching out to pry the other’s away.
“C’mon, let me see that pretty face.”
And Donghyuck does just that, beaming up at him, lips and cheeks tinted pink and eyes radiant. He’s glowing in the light of the street lanterns that’s shining through the blinds.
and Johnny really can’t wait any longer.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” he announces, tucking a loose curl behind the other boy’s ear. “Are you okay with that?”
A hum. Donghyuck looks at him, so softly and trusting, before he lets his eyes fall close, curls his hand into Johnny’s shirt and pulls him closer as he shuffles around the bed, trying to get comfortable.
He leans in to kiss him, hand coming up to caress his cheek. His boy tastes like sunshine.
(bonus)
“Hyung, do you wanna make out?”
“Hell yes.”