Chapter Text
Tzuyu lets out a growl, frustrated tears starting to well up in her eyes as she throws her notebook across the room.
She hears it rather than sees it, the stupid, blank pages clattering against the wall as her head thumps against the frame of the piano.
She hates that the first thought that crosses her mind is to quit, to throw everything away and immediately go into hiding, maybe even run back to Taiwan and live a happy, stress-free life with her dogs. It's not even the first time she's had this feeling recently, but that really only adds to the shame that comes along with it and it just has her slamming her head back down.
"I take it that the songwriting isn't going too well."
Tzuyu doesn't have to look up to know that it's Dahyun, probably back from shooting the newest episode of her variety show.
"Welcome home." She grumbles into the piano, deliberately ignoring her roommate’s question. "Did you get groceries?"
"No, something came up. I can tomorrow though."
"But then what are we going to do for dinner? The fridge is almost empty."
"Actually I was thinking we could go out for dinner tonight. You've been holed up in here for like… weeks now."
"Ten days at most," Tzuyu argues.
"That's a long time. And you didn’t answer my question earlier. Have you even made any progress?"
"No." She groans, "all this time stuck in front of the piano and I still haven't been able to string three notes together. I haven't even come up with a title yet!"
Dahyun's response comes quieter this time, slightly muffled by the clattering of cabinets and drawers in the kitchen. "Well, you can't write the title before the lyrics. You have to focus on getting your feelings on paper first and then the rest will practically write itself."
"But that's the problem! I don't have any feelings!"
"Everyone has feelings."
"No! I don't!" Tzuyu cries, "after ten days, I think I can safely say that I have no feelings. I'm just a stupid feeling-less girl who's way out of her league. Maybe the internet's right, maybe I really am just another pretty face that rode everyone else's talent to the top. Maybe… maybe I should've gone into modeling like Mina-unnie."
"Don't say that," Dahyun answers firmly. She hears the quick pattering of footsteps as the girl rushes to her side, kneeling down on the ground to gently set a hand on her leg. “Especially because it kind of sounds like you’re throwing shade at Mina-unnie.”
“You know that’s not what I-”
"I know.” Dahyun cuts in, “but you're not talentless, you're not out of your league, and you're definitely not just a pretty face. Okay? You're freaking Chou Tzuyu. The youngest female singer to go double platinum in Korea and Japan. You even beat Jihyo-unnie and Nayeon-unnie to being the first Twice member to win a Daesang on your solo debut!"
She can't help cracking a small smile at the memory of that night. It had been just about a year after Twice had officially disbanded to pursue their own individual ventures, and she'd been absolutely terrified at the notion of tackling a whole award show on her own for the first time. She had tried to reach out to the other girls for their support, but with how ridiculously busy each of them was it hadn't been much of a surprise when all she'd gotten in response were tear-filled apologies.
It made sense after all, especially for Sana and Momo who had been absolutely drowning under the pressure of starting their own music company in Japan, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
So she'd gone on her own, holding back tears from the moment her shiny black heels had touched down on the red carpet, only for them to spill out uncontrollably the moment all eight members had rushed out from behind the curtains in the middle of her acceptance speech, a scene that had instantly gone viral for being Twice's first televised reunion as well as being by far the hardest anyone had ever seen Tzuyu cry.
None of them had ever told her how they'd all been able to make it at the last moment.
But as beautiful as that night had been, right now she's just a little too distraught to resist pointing out the hole in Dahyun's touching attempt at consoling her.
"I only won because I was the first one of us to release an EP after we split. Jihyo-unnie and Nayeon-unnie have been fighting for the top spot at award shows ever since."
"Irrelevant." Dahyun says as she slides up to join her on the piano bench, "the point is, you're amazing. This is just a little writer's block and it's perfectly normal."
"But what do I do about it?" She whines, "my managers are expecting me to have at least three songs fully recorded in a month! And that’s not even including the title track! God, why did I agree to this?”
“Because you never back down from a challenge.”
Another pitiful whine escapes her lips as her body slumps over to crash her head into Dahyun’s shoulder, the shorter girl letting out an amused chuckle before gently wrapping an arm around her waist.
“Then maybe this is the perfect time to start.” Tzuyu mumbles, “because this is hopeless.”
“It’s not hopeless.”
“It is. I didn’t even write any songs for Twice back in the day and now I’m supposed to come up with an entire album by myself?”
“Well… if you asked, I’m sure Nayeon-unnie or Jihyo-unnie would be happy to give you some suggestions, and of course, there’s always Chaeyoung, she had a lot of input in your last comeback didn’t she?”
“She did,” Tzuyu sighs, “but the whole point is that this one is supposed to be a hundred percent self-written, which means no collaboration. Not that it even matters, they’re all so busy. I’m not even sure Jihyo-unnie is in Korea right now.”
“I thought her tour wasn’t starting for a few more months.”
“Yeah, but she insisted on seeing some of the venues herself. Plus even if she wasn't overseas, you know how busy she can get. I’d feel horrible adding onto everything with my own stupid issues.”
“Well in that case,” Dahyun says thoughtfully, “I guess it’s up to us. And personally, I think what you’re really lacking is a little bit of inspiration.”
She lifts her head up just enough to give her a confused look.
“Inspiration?”
“Yes. All the best songs have something more behind them, some deep and personal meaning so that when people listen to them, they can feel the sincerity underneath, even if they don’t necessarily understand all the details.”
“Okay, what do you suggest I take inspiration from then?”
“I can’t really tell you,” Dahyun answers, “that would kind of defeat the purpose."
"Well then what am I supposed to do?" Tzuyu wails, "watch dramas all day or something?"
Dahyun furrows her eyebrows in confusion. "What? Dramas? No. Tzu, you need to find something that you actually feel passionate about. Something right from your heart that will spill onto the page almost on its own."
"But I don't have anything like that!"
"Everyone has something like that."
"Then why isn't anything coming to mind?" She fires back, "if it's supposed to be so powerful, shouldn't it be popping into my head like… immediately?"
"That I don't know." Dahyun admits, "what I do know is that you'll never find anything to spark your imagination stuck in our apartment all day. Now go change, and maybe take a shower too. We’re going out to dinner.”
Tzuyu lets out a quiet whine. “Can’t we just stay home and get takeout or something?”
“Only if you want Mina-unnie to see how disgusting you are right now.”
That immediately gets her attention and she slowly sits up in her seat. “What? I thought she was promoting her new makeup line for another month.”
Dahyun nods enthusiastically. “Apparently she cut it short. She was actually the guest on my show today as an impromptu last stop on her press tour.”
“Wow.” Tzuyu answers, “I’m surprised she didn’t want to spend more time back in Japan, from all the pictures she’s been posting on Instagram it seemed like she was having a lot of fun.”
“Eh well, you know she can never stay away from Nayeon-unnie for long.”
She feels a smile start to spread on her face. “Those two are so cute together.”
“I know,” Dahyun says, flashing a devilish grin of her own, “think they’ll get married soon?”
“It’s not legal here Dahyun.”
“That doesn't seem to be stopping Sana and Momo."
"What? Sana and Momo haven't even been together that long."
"Well… still, even if it isn’t technically official, don’t you think it’s worth it just to have the chance to declare your love for one another in front of all your friends and family?”
Tzuyu raises an eyebrow. “When did you become such a sappy romantic? Do you have a secret girlfriend that I don’t know about?”
“Oh god,” Dahyun groans, “no, this is actually just what happens when all your friends are getting together and you stay perpetually single.”
“You’re saying that as if I’m not right there with you.”
Dahyun gives her a dramatic eye roll. “Please. You’re Chou Tzuyu: The Nation’s Sweetheart. Half of Asia is freaking in love with you. There are at least a dozen people in my studio that are begging for me to introduce you to them on a daily basis.”
“You’re exaggerating.” Tzuyu stutters, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks.
“I’m really not. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve started only eating lunch with members of my staff that are already married.”
“What? Is it really necessary to avoid your own employees like that?”
“It is!” Dahyun answers, “otherwise I don’t get to eat! Oh, speaking of which, Mina-unnie said that they got a reservation at that new place in Gangnam for six-thirty tonight so we should probably…”
Before she even knows it she’s on her feet, eyes darting to the clock hanging on the wall. “Six-thirty? Dahyun! That’s in twenty minutes!”
“Yeah, and it’s supposed to be pretty freaking fancy too so you should probably bring your A-game.”
She feels her jaw drop as she shoots another glance at the clock as if doing so again would somehow turn back time.
“Wha- we’ve been sitting here for… why didn’t you say anything earlier?”
“Uh,” Dahyun replies, “maybe because my best friend was in the middle of a crisis?”
Tzuyu narrows her eyes. “I’m telling Chaeyoung that you said that.”
She sees a wave of panic wash over the girl’s face. “Please don’t! She’ll kill me if I… look just go change! I haven’t seen Mina-unnie in forever and I really don’t want to deal with Nayeon-unnie teasing me all night if we’re late.”
“If we’re late it’ll be your fault. I mean you could’ve at least texted me or something.”
“I know I know, just go. And once you’re out of the shower I’ll help you pick out an outfit.”
“What? Why?”
“Because… look just trust me on this one, you’re going to want to look nice.”
She barely has the time to scrunch her eyebrows in confusion when Dahyun suddenly gives her a gentle shove to the back, leaving Tzuyu with no other option than to let out a resigned sigh as she turns around to head for her room.
It ends up taking even longer than Tzuyu could have ever expected to get to the restaurant, mostly because Dahyun had been strangely picky about her outfit choices and had categorically rejected the first five or six dresses that she’d pulled out of her closet, which had felt odd, especially considering how much of a hurry the girl had been in to get to the restaurant on time.
But somehow, they end up having a fairly easy time getting their reservation moved an hour back to accommodate the impromptu fashion show, most likely because Dahyun had casually and shamelessly used the term ‘Twice reunion’ on the phone which had also gotten them a free upgrade to a table on the rooftop patio.
And to be honest this kind of preferential treatment never really fails to leave a bad taste in her mouth, especially now that they’re stepping through the ridiculously extravagant double doors and she can see how over-the-top expensive this place is.
Everything about the place, from the chic, minimalist design to the horrendously impractical silk tablecloths, screams the kind of excessive wealth that even after all the years she’s spent in the entertainment industry, still can’t seem to find herself getting fully comfortable with.
And this is probably why her friendship with Dahyun works so well. Even now, as she's crossing her arms and shooting judgemental glances at the solid gold wall sconces, the girl is effortlessly sliding up to the hostess, a couple of bills tucked in her hand and a charming smile on her face as she reduces the hostess to a blushing, giggling mess.
Dahyun’s earlier complaints about being perpetually single are suddenly feeling a lot less convincing.
It’s embarrassing to say that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened, and Tzuyu’s honestly so used to it by now that she knows she’ll have to put a quick end to it if they’re ever going to get to their food.
And she’s so hungry at this point that she’s not shy at all about telling Dahyun to just get the girl’s number and be done with it. Which of course she does, pulling the hostess aside right after they’re shown to their table where Mina and Nayeon are already enjoying a couple of glasses of wine, smiling fondly at each other as they enjoy the view of the sun just starting to dip below the highrises of the city.
It’s Mina that sees her first, jumping to her feet with a gummy smile and rushing over to pull her into a tight hug.
“Tzuyu!”
“It’s so good to see you Mina-unnie!”
Nayeon follows a couple of steps behind, her glass still clutched in her hand and flashing a raised eyebrow as the two of them exchange their greetings.
“I see Dahyun’s getting along well with the staff.”
Tzuyu shakes her head in response. “One of these days someone from the media is going to catch onto her player-ish tendencies.”
“Oh shush you two,” Mina chides, “Dahyun’s just enjoying the single life.”
“Yeah,” Nayeon snorts, “a concept that’s lost on some people.”
Tzuyu snaps her head up. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re talking about me?”
“Oh I don’t know,” Nayeon answers slowly, “one of the most beautiful girls that Asia has ever seen and yet still hellbent on staying celibate.”
“I’m not celibate!”
That seems to get Nayeon’s attention. “Wait really?” The older girl says, her voice taking on an urgent tone that she can’t quite understand. “Are you dating someone right now?”
“What? No.”
The tension in Nayeon’s shoulders instantly deflates. “Oh. Then yeah, celibate.”
“I’m not celibate!” She whines, “it’s just hard to meet people in our line of work.”
“Oh really? Because Dahyun over there seems to be dating someone new every other week.”
Tzuyu lets out a huff as she slides into her seat. “What do you want me to do? Date some fangirl? You know as well as I do that they idolize us too much to actually be interested in us as people.”
“They’re not all bad.” Mina says, “Dahyun’s introduced us to a couple of girls over the years that were pretty nice.”
Tzuyu has to admit that she’s surprised this defense is coming from Mina of all people, the girl had always been one of the more outspoken members when it came to criticizing the obsessive nature of some of their fans. The fact that she’s speaking up now has implications about her love life that Tzuyu really doesn’t want to get into.
“And then,” she fires back, “there was that girl that tried to kiss Jihyo-unnie at her birthday party, the girl that tried selling Dahyun’s autograph to all of her friends, oh and I can’t forget the one that actually…”
“Okay,” Mina cuts in, “okay, you’re right. Maybe dating fangirls is a bit of a risk, the point is…”
“We just want you to be happy Tzu.” Nayeon finishes gently.
There’s something seriously weird about their tone. It's got this hesitant, almost wistful energy to it that she doesn't recognize, especially in someone as typically brazen as Nayeon.
But she doesn't get a chance to contemplate any further when Dahyun comes back, stopping briefly to exchange hugs with Mina and Nayeon, before plopping down in her seat with a triumphant grin on her face.
"What? No phone number?" Nayeon asks, "no lipstick stains all over your face? Did the great Kim Dahyun finally get rejected?"
"Nope!" Dahyun chirps, "don't need her number. She gets off work at ten tonight which gives us plenty of time for dinner before I take her out for some drinks."
She sees Mina and Nayeon playfully rolling their eyes, but Tzuyu on the other hand is taking it up a notch by letting out a low groan.
"Oh my god, am I going to have to wear headphones to bed tonight again?"
"Again?" Mina says with a raised eyebrow.
"I… that only happened once." Dahyun stutters.
"Once is more than enough to traumatize me for life."
"I apologized like a hundred times!" The girl argues, "I even bought you a brand new set of… look you know what, it doesn't matter. If it comes to it tonight, we'll just go to her place."
"You're ridiculous." Nayeon chuckles.
"What?" Dahyun says casually, "I have needs. And not everyone has a freaking Japanese supermodel they can bo-"
"Okay!" Mina interrupts, a furious blush staining her cheeks, "I think that's more than enough of that. Maybe we should actually start taking a look at the menu? I'm starving."
Nayeon giggles her agreement as Dahyun breaks into a fit of laughter. And Tzuyu's just about to join them when she notices something that seems strangely out of place in a high-end restaurant like this.
"Why is there an extra place setting?"
And any hope that it's just an oversight due to Dahyun flirting with the staff is dashed in an instant as the three of them share a panicked look.
"Guys," Tzuyu says suspiciously, "what's going on?"
There's a bit of pointed head tilting and poorly concealed mouthing of words that feels almost insulting that they actually think she might not notice.
"Guys?" She repeats, a little firmer this time as her frustration starts to bubble up inside.
"Okay!" Dahyun squeaks, following a decidedly unsubtle kick to the shin courtesy of Nayeon, "look just, don't be mad okay?"
She leans back into her chair, arms crossing in front of her chest as she narrows her eyes. "Then don't give me a reason to be."
"Just… remember that we weren't trying to ambush you or anything." Dahyun continues nervously.
Nayeon nods a little too quickly. "Yeah, all of this was really last minute. I only found out this morning when I picked Mina up from the airport."
"And I only got word like five minutes before my plane took off," Mina adds, "and then the entire flight here all I could do was freak out because I couldn't take my phone off airplane mode."
Tzuyu pinches the bridge of her nose. "Guys, you're giving me a headache. Just tell me what's…"
She trails off as her eyes catch a glimpse of… someone following the hostess and stepping out onto the patio.
It feels like her body knows who it is before her brain even has an inkling, judging by the way her heart stops, her breath hitches, and her mouth goes dry all at once.
It probably should have been obvious right from the start. If nothing else, then just the casually chic look of the woman’s beautiful flowing white sundress paired with a Jimmy Choo purse and matching sunglasses should have been the biggest red flag.
But it isn’t until she sees the woman’s perfectly manicured fingers slowly running through her chocolate brown hair, at long last grown out to the length she’d always wanted, that a spark of recognition finally lights up in the back of her head.
Because my god she’s always looked so unbelievably stunning with her hair pushed back. And even though it’s just a short and simple move that Tzuyu’s seen a thousand times in the past, somehow it’s still more than enough to send shockwaves through her fragile heart.
And before she even knows it the words are quietly tumbling past her lips in a haunted whisper.
“Jeongyeon-unnie.”