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Published:
2021-09-05
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2021-09-05
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2/2
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When The Time Comes

Summary:

A re-telling/continuation of the Star ending.

Notes:

Mind the tags. It's a sad story and I'm not sorry.

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

River never had much dealings with the nomads. The only other time he was at the Aldecaldo camp was his brother-in-law’s funeral. The entire camp wept and mourned him, Joss included, but not him. Saul was giving a eulogy, something about his death being honorable. River wasn’t listening. He did not share their grief, and felt nothing but relief, knowing that his sister will never again panic at the sight of her husband’s raised hand and the children will never need to wait for their father who does not come home for days on end. He said his goodbye to Joss and slipped away before the service was finished. Duty calls. In fact he was surprised Han had waited this long. Besides, he didn’t mind appearing rude when he would never see the Aldecaldos again.

But when V appeared in his life, and pulled him from the brink of the abyss, he couldn’t help but fall in love with her. They exchanged stories of their past after their first night together, and his heart prickled when she revealed that she was a nomad in her previous life. He wondered if she would ever agree to settle down with him, build a life together. But he was soon mesmerized by the sparks in her eyes and rationality was tossed aside. It’s alright, he thought to himself, one thing at a time.

That was before he truly learned the severity of her relic problem, and the lengths she had to go to for a chance of survival.

Panam called him, ten days after Arasaka Tower fell. And he knew it was what he had dreaded the most. V was going back to her nomad roots but he was not ready to leave with her. Randy was finally making progress with his recovery and it would be heartless leaving Joss to deal with it all alone. He knew what he had to do, even if it would break his heart a thousand times.

“What are you saying, River?”

“I can’t leave this city, leave my family. Randy’s finally making progress with his recovery and I can’t leave Joss to deal with it alone. Besides, Night City is my city. And I have a duty.”

“Goddamnit River. I don’t want to believe it. Can’t.”

“That I need to take care of my family?”

“No, it’s not about that. I just hoped if you were breaking up with me, you’d not hide behind the talk of city and family and duty.”

“Maybe it’s because I don’t want to end it." He admitted weakly, "I love you, V, madly. But what can I say? I can’t ask you to stay when your life depends on it. And I can’t ask you to wait for me either.”

“Why not?”

“V!” He exhaled with a heavy sigh. “Would you really want to spend what may be the last few months of your life waiting for a man that can’t even promise to be by your side?”

“If I’m not dying, if...”

“Then I’d ask you to marry me.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eye.

“V, Panam says they’re ready.” Saul interrupted from behind the Thorton. The recent raid clearly left its tolls on the man—his upper body was almost completely covered with bandages, a trail of bruises that span across his neck, ending near the temple , not to mention he is obviously not yet used to the new arm in the ways he keeps adjusting his posture, and tries not to carry anything heavy with it even though he instinctively favors the injured side.

Despite the severity of his injuries, Saul still carries around an air of intimidation wherever he goes. River notices several people deliberately changing directions just to avoid being too near to him.

“Hey Saul. Glad to see you’re doing better. Give me a sec here and I’ll join Panam.”

“Is he giving you trouble?”

“Nah. We’re alright. Just need a moment.”

“Alright. Don’t keep us waiting for too long.” Saul leaned in a little too close as he says goodbye, not forgetting to stare River down just long enough for him to feel uncomfortable before leaving them alone.

“Do you remember that morning at Joss’s, after the family dinner? You said my dying doesn’t change anything for you.”

“‘Course I remember.”

“So, ask me.”

“V...”

“Last chance, River.”

“Will you marry me, Valerie?” He knelt down faster than he could think, taking her hand in a hurry. His heart pounding, his breath shortening, though he tried very hard not letting it show.

“Yes I will.” She smiled, and it’s the kind of smile that drives him wild. River pulled her down and she didn't resist. Her lips tasted like vanilla and expensive wine and he’s lost in the sweetness of it all. She felt cold under the desert sun, so he held her closer, and swallowed every little moan from her mouth. When the kiss was over, she was panting and giggling ever so softly. The reality finally sank in as her laughter settled down, and he didn’t know what to do next.

“What happens now?”

“I don’t know exactly. You can join me and the Aldecaldos when Randy’s doing better, or I can come back to the city after I’ve found my cure, if that’s what you want.”

“I thought...you’d want to stay with the Aldecaldos...that you’d be happier being part of a clan again.”

“River, I’ll be happy anywhere as long as I’m with you.”

“Valerie…” He says her name like a whisper, a worship that’s too fragile to be overheard, “I don’t deserve you.”

“And I love you too.”

“Ahem. Sorry to interrupt you love birds, but we really have to go.” Panam stood not two meters away from them, clearly exasperated from the wait. Saul followed right behind. “Whole family's waiting.”

“Sorry.” V apologized meekly, “I have to go now. Bye River.”

“One more thing.” He stopped her as she turned around to leave and quickly wrapped something around her neck. “Wear this, so I can be with you, heart, body and soul.” The metallic feathers clinked softly as they fell into place. “Bye, V. I'll see you soon, I promise.”

“V! You look great. Looks like nomad life agrees with you.”

“I feel great, River. How are things at your end? You look like you could use some sleep.”

“Huh, not too bad actually. Joss spends most of her time at work and at the hospital, so I try to be useful at home. Had a slow start with the PI business, but it’s getting somewhere.”

“You know I can always help. Rogue still owes me a favor.”

“Baby, you’ve helped me plenty, more than anyone in my entire life. All you need to do right now is to concentrate on saving your own life.”

“Alright alright. You know I can never refuse you when you go doe-eyed like that.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“How’s Joss?”

“She’s doing great. Finally coming out of the shadows after all those years. Don’t remember the last time I’ve seen her so...full of life. And she wouldn’t stop teasing after I told her about us, at the camp. Keeps saying she couldn’t believe I proposed without a ring, and somehow got away with it.”

“You can always blame it on me.”

“Oh no. If she knows how it really happened, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

***

“You look a bit pale, V. Everything alright?”

“Oh, not you too.”

“What’s that?”

“Sorry...It’s just...Panam and Saul are making a big fuss. ‘You are staying in bed for the rest of the day and that’s final.’ It was only a nosebleed and it stopped pretty quickly. I feel fine now, but no one seems to believe me. So I’m being held a prisoner in my own tent.”

“How many times has this happened?”

“River...”

“Please, just tell me.”

“Four, maybe six times since we left Night City.”

“Why haven’t you told me before?”

“They weren’t serious, and I don’t want you to worry.”

“...”

“Please don’t look at me like that. You are going to make me cry if you keep that up.”

“Just...promise me that you’ll tell me everything. And I mean everything. No more hiding bad news, V. I’m strong enough to take them, but I can’t bear not knowing.”

“I promise.”

***

“Love the photos. Who knew the badlands could be so picturesque?”

“Don’t jump to any conclusions. After a month on the road, I’d kill for a hot shower, and a room with any semblance of air-conditioning.”

“You can complain about nomad life all you want, but I know you love it. Deep down.”

“Quite the mind reader.”

“Only for you.”

***

“How’s that ripper in Arizona treating you?”

“She’s nice. Knows a lot about neural networks and the chip. Says she’s been studying the design I got from Hellman ever since Panam contacted her. And the pills she gave me have done wonders. So it’s looking good.”

“Love to hear good news, especially from you.”

“You look suspiciously upbeat. Got any good news of your own?”

“You read me like a book. Randy’s getting discharged at the end of the month, just before his birthday. Joss is planning a small party to celebrate, and I’ll be free to join you after.”

“What about your PI business? You’ve only just got started.”

“You don’t actually think I care more about that than you, right? I want to be with you as soon as I’m able.”

“Then I’ll be waiting. I’ve missed you, River.”

“I miss you too.”

***

“Thank God you picked up. What happened, V? You missed three calls yesterday. I was worried sick.”

“I was feeling a bit tired yesterday and Saul practically forced me to take a nap. I must have passed out in bed and slept for 17 hours straight.”

“What did the doctor say?”

“She said she’ll look into it, but it’s most likely some side effects from the pills.”

“You’ll tell me if it’s something else, if it’s getting worse?”

“‘Course. I promised, remember?”

***

Dialing V…
User Busy. Would you like to leave a message?

“Hey, guess you are still sleeping. Just calling to say...um...I dreamt about you last night. It was a good dream, which is rare for me. Must mean something, right?”

***

Dialing V…
User Busy. Would you like to leave a message?

“V? Is it the pills again? If you are too tired to talk, send me a text, a picture, anything. I just need to know you’re ok...Please.”

***

Dialing V…
User Busy. Would you like to leave a message?

“I’m coming.”

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

“Where is she?” River almost crashes into a makeshift guard post as he comes up to the Aldecaldo camp. He falls to the ground as he steps out of the Thorton—he has not slept nearly enough on the road, and during the moments where he does get some shut-eye, his mind seems determined to torment him. He dreamt of V lying in a cot, cold and alone, and he was jolted awake by a bone-deep shiver.

“Where is V?!” He repeats the question desperately. Somebody, anybody, please. He lets out a silent prayer. Just tell him he's not too late.

A strong hand grips his shoulder, pulling him up from the ground. He turns around. The man is well built, with a black metal arm. The way he carries himself suggests the past life of a soldier—not to mention the old shrapnel scars on his forehead, but he wears a gentle expression.

“You must be River. V’s told us so much about you. I’m Mitch. Come, I’ll take you to her. Just a heads up, she’s not in great shape.” Blind fear seized River, and he must have grabbed Mitch with too much force. “Hey hey, easy there. She’s alive. That’s what’s most important. But she slipped into a coma two weeks ago and hasn’t woken up since.”

“Mitch. Tell me the truth, what are the chances she’ll make it?”

There is a pause, but Mitch answers with a level tone. “I’m not sure. But she hasn’t got any worse, according to the doctor.” River smells the scent of disinfectant before they even go in, and there she is, in the centre of it all. She is much paler and thinner from his memories, almost brittle.

Saul sits beside her bed, holding her hand. It looks as if he’s been sitting there for eternity. There is a sense of peace in the room that makes River envious.

I should’ve been the one by her side, he thinks to himself.

“What’s he doing here?” Saul notices them entering the tent, but doesn’t leave V’s side.

“Saul, come on. He’s her husband after all. Let’s go for a walk. Then you can help me check over the Panzer.”

Saul leaves reluctantly. When he walks past River he bumps into him with way too much force for it to be an accident. “Sorry.” Mitch whispers behind Saul’s back, and quickly follows him out of the tent.

There are a thousand questions in River’s mind, but now’s not the time to chase down answers. He sits down next to the bed and gently traces V’s face. Her skin feels cold, but the slow rise and fall of her chest eases his anxiety somewhat. She does not stir when River leans in to kiss her. Even when asleep, she holds him captive like no other. He cannot stop staring at her face, admiring every feature with love and heartache. He does not remember how much time has passed, but he dozes off to a first real sleep in what feels like forever, reassured by the steady pulse at his fingertips.

The Aldecaldos have slowly gotten used to River after about a week, even offered him a tent of his own, which he respectfully declined. Though Saul proves to be an exception. He avoids River as much as humanly possible, which is easy enough since River rarely leaves V’s tent. He reads her old detective stories she used to tease him with and V sleeps still. Sometimes he could feel her fingers twitching, just for a second, or a frown, a transient smile. And that's enough to keep him going.

He does some odd jobs and lends a hand with the repairs from time to time. Panam once insisted that he didn’t have to do anything around the camp except looking after V, but River just shrugged and carried on. His way of saying thank you to the Aldecaldos.

Today he’s working on the Panzer. With Saul. The Aldecaldos seem to use the Panzer whatever chance they could get. While he concedes that it’s an impressive and deadly piece of machinery, the repair is such a pain in the ass he’s not sure it’s worth all the trouble. It’s been at least four hours, longest he’s been away from V since he arrived, and there’s still so much to do. Saul isn’t helping either. Everything seems a problem to him. At first River thought he was just being a perfectionist, but an hour into the job he realized the problem was in fact himself. So he decides to do what he always does—get to the bottom of the problem, directly, bluntly and with far too much honestly than most people could handle.

“What’s your problem with me? And don’t even think about denying it.”

Saul paused for a second, probably wondering if silence would get him out of the question, but he relented and told River the truth, “I don't know what she actually sees in you.”

“Why do you care?”

“From what she told us, you seem like the kinda guy who’s all about family. But then you leave your dying wife’s side without a second thought. Just feels very hypocritical to me.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“She’s part of the family. That makes it my business.”

“Ha,” River lets out a bitter laugh, “I’m sure you care about each member of your family deeply. Sitting by their bedside, holding their hand for hours on end.” He turns around and looks Saul in the eye, “I know you want her. Don’t bother denying it because I can see it in your eyes. But she is my wife. So please, for all our sakes, leave us alone.”

“Then tell me. Where were you when she cried herself into sleep at night? When she coughed up blood in the morning and tried to hide it? When she passed out while driving a car and almost killed herself?!” Saul is beyond furious. How dare he leave her at a time like this.

River doesn’t have an answer for that. It’s the first time he’s heard any of this. Whenever he talked to V over the holo, she was always a picture of sunshine and optimism. He can tell Saul isn’t lying, which makes it all the harder to swallow.

“I don’t care why you have to stay behind in Night City. V wouldn’t say.” Saul added, “but the simple truth is, you didn’t put her first. I don’t know how you can claim to love her and still be able to live with yourself.” He stormed off after that, probably to give Mitch an earful about forcing him and River to work on a job together.

River keeps on working. Tightening a screw here, fixing a crack there. Anything to distract him from what Saul just told him. He’d almost prefer if Saul had just punched him in the face. At least the physical pain would have distracted him from the overwhelming guilt that would no doubt bury him alive.

“River!” Panam shouts from outside the tent, and the expression on her face tells him all he needs to know before she even speaks, “It’s V.”

“River! You can’t go in yet!” It takes both Mitch and Saul both to stop him from barging into the tent. He struggles to break free but Saul’s not relenting. Before long, River’s strength is thoroughly spent. He sits on the ground with his back leaned against the tent, shaking, trembling, an utter mess of grease, dirt and sweat.

It feels like an eternity, listening to the erratic beeping from inside, the sound of machines going on and off. When the doctor walks out, it’s as if he’s died again and again. He doesn’t even have the strength to stand.

“I’m sorry.” Those are the only words he hears.

Turns out there is a small mercy, according to the doctor. She’s able to wake her up, with a massive dose of stims and analgesics, just long enough for them to say farewell before she goes.

River waits outside the tent as Panam, Mitch and Saul each take their turn. It feels eerie and strange to have the chance to think about what their last conversation would be like. He’s used to deaths that came quickly and suddenly, where mourning felt more like a reflex than a conscious thought. I have perfected the process by now, he thought bitterly. But this is different. And much scarier.

Panam gently pats him on the shoulder when she comes out, “She’s been asking about you non-stop. Don’t make her wait any longer.”

He keeps his head down when he walks in, and hears Panam ordering everyone to stay away. He knows V is watching him. The weight of her gaze is almost tangible. He takes a deep breath and meets it.

She looks perfect. A picture of health. And beauty. Those glistening eyes, dripping with tenderness and love. He could drown in them. One look from her and he’d do anything she asks, no questions about it.

“River.” She beckons and he comes closer, hypnotized and enchanted, like a sailor bewitched by siren’s call.

“I’ve missed you.” She croons and leans into him, “come sit on the bed with me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.” He holds her by the shoulder and rests his chin on top of her head. So she can’t see his face.

“Never apologize for taking care of your family, River. I love you more for it.”

“But—”

“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

He breathes her in, unable to utter a single word. Because if he does, she’ll hear his voice crumble and crack. And he doesn’t want to taint their last moment with tears.

“What time is it?”

“Probably mid-afternoon, why?”

“Shame. I’d like to see the stars one more time. Makes me feel free. And brave.”

“You're already both things, baby.” He whispers in her ear, “It’ll be dark soon. I can take you out to see the sunset. We can wait for the moon and stars to come out together.”

“Never realized you were such a romantic.”

When they come out of the tent, there’s a Delamain waiting.

“Welcome aboard. Miss V, Mr Ward. Where would you like to go today?”

“Somewhere quiet. Not too far. And most importantly, a clear view of the sky.”

“Understood.”

They stopped at a cliff top, with a view of both the sky and the desert.

“So, is it as picturesque as you imagined?”

“It’s better.”

“Do you regret it?”

“Regret what?”

“Me. I keep thinking if we just remained friends from the start, I’d have spared you. I was being selfish when I asked you to propose. Gosh what was I thinking, dragging you down like this—”

“Valerie, shhh-shh. Listen to me. If I had the chance to do it all again, knowing how it would end, I wouldn’t change a damn thing except leaving Night City with you and the Aldecaldos straight away. We’d have months together. You can tease me about all the ways I’d make a horrible nomad. Think about all the fun we’d have.” He chuckles at the imagination.

“I love it when you laugh. You’re right though. You can’t even drive properly.” She leans back a little more, closing her eyes, like she’s ready for a nap. Her body slacken, her pulse slow and her breathing shallow. Her voice is getting softer too. Each word so easily carried away by the wind. “But promise me one thing, River.”

“Anything for you, love.”

“Promise me you’ll live your life to the fullest. Don’t close off or bury yourself with work like you did before. Don’t let me hold you back. Promise me you’ll not deny yourself the chance to fall in love again.”

“Valerie...I can’t...I love you, always and forever.”

“I know, River. And I love you too. But you have to promise me that you’ll try. Please.”

“I promise.” He doesn’t know if his heart could ache more. He wants to look away but he’s lost control of his body. He doesn’t want to feel the life leaving her body, but his mind can’t seem to focus on anything else.

“How much longer till the sunset?”

“Just an hour to go.”

“I feel sleepy. Would you...wake me up...when...it starts?”

“...”

“River?”

“I'm right here, Valerie. You can sleep now. I’ll wake you when the time comes.” He rocks her gently, watches the rise and fall of her chest slow to a halt. Watches as life leaves her with a sigh.

He doesn’t remember how long he spent cradling her cold body, but he remembers the sunset. It was heartbreakingly beautiful.

She’s buried right next to the cliff. River wanted to take her home but there’s no way he could get past border control with a body in his car.

“It’s an impressive view. She’ll love it.” Saul gazes down at the sea of sand, seemingly lost in thought, but River sees the same grief in his eyes.

“Thank you for taking care of her.” He says to everyone who came to the funeral.

“What will you do now?” Panam asks. There’s a gentleness in her voice that feels almost foreign.

“I don’t know.”

“You’re always welcome to stay with us.”

“I know. And I’m grateful. But I think I’ll go back to the city.”

“I'm not surprised. Good luck with everything, River. We’ll all miss you.”

“Thank you, Panam.”

He finds Delamain parked exactly where he dropped them off the day before. Its door slides open as he approaches.

“Welcome aboard, Mr Ward. I am sorry to hear Miss V’s passed away.”

“Why are you still here?”

“I’m not quite sure. Father instructed me to be in Miss V’s service till her dying day. But now that I’m free, I find myself...reluctant to return to his side.”

“I thought AIs like you can’t comprehend human emotions.”

“With Miss V’s help, father and I have evolved beyond our base function. ”

“What will you do now?”

“Miss V once asked me if she could transfer her Excelsior privileges to you. It wasn’t possible of course. Father wouldn’t allow it as he fears I would be trapped in a never-ending contract, much like he was before he was freed. But he did not forbid me from choosing my own Excelsior clients. And you seem to be in need of a driver. Would you like to state your destination?”

“Night City. I’m going home.”