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Winter had come a little early this year, and the snow began to fall as soon as October came. Tonight, it was that type of silent that only came with a blanket of those soft white flakes outside the windows. The click-clack of the Playbox controllers was all you could hear in the entire Reynolds house. That, and the breathing of two young boys, as they neared the end of their intense digital race.
Chris took a left, drifted, and used the boost to pull ahead at the very last minute. He slid into first place and Hawt Dawg Man came on screen to congratulate his victory. “Yes!” He celebrated, dropping his controller to pump his fist in the air.
“Fuck!” Daniel yelled. He slammed his controller down and hit it, emanating pure frustration. Chris watched, wide eyed, and even flinched back. For a moment, neither of them knew what to say.
“Are you okay?”
Daniel crossed his arms. “Yeah. Sorry. Just frustrated.”
“Okay. We can play something different,” Chris offered, just hoping to cheer his friend up. He remembered his talk with Claire and Dad, and how he promised to be there for Daniel, and be careful not to push him too far.
He was scared at first that Daniel would be like how Dad used to be. But he was actually way nicer about stuff, even when he was angry. Maybe that’s what being a superhero was like, you just had to be super nice… but he still didn’t like it when Daniel swore.
“Thanks, Chris,” Daniel said, after a moment. “Can we just draw? I don’t wanna go to bed, yet, but I don’t like this game.”
“Okay! Yeah!” Chris agreed. A part of his brain remembered that last week, this was Daniel’s favorite game. At least, he said so, but Chris decided to ignore that. He’d changed his mind like that before, especially with basketball. But he loved drawing, so.
He set up the coffee table of Daniel’s living room with all of his art supplies while Daniel went and got paper. When he came back, his long hair was stuck to his face, and his cheeks were flushed red.
“Woah, how fast did you run? We didn’t need paper that bad,” Chris asked him.
Daniel flushed deeper. The color was warm and purply on his tan skin. Chris thought that he wanted that color in a marker. Instead of responding, the boy sat on the floor opposite Chris.
“What are you gonna draw?” He asked.
“I think I’ll draw Elsa. I was thinking it would be super cool, if she had, like, fire powers… or anything other than ice, really. And we could make her dress a different color, to match!”
“That sounds really cool, Chris.”
—
Every once in a while, Daniel would come over unannounced. It didn’t really matter when he came over anyway, since Dad always said, “That kid is welcome here anytime!” to Claire. But Chris wasn’t sure if he really meant that, and so it made him nervous.
Tonight, the sounds of yelling were bouncing off the walls, even though Dad was sitting and watching cartoons with him. It was a female voice, probably Claire. It didn’t surprise Chris, since he knew that Claire wasn’t very nice.
He felt really bad. It gave him the same ugly worm feeling in his stomach that he used to get when Dad would get angry.
Speaking of… “You okay, Chris?”
It had been almost a year since Dad had started going to those group meetings. He’d even briefly had a girlfriend, not that Chris was supposed to know that. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful that Dad was doing better, but lately, Chris got a lot of questions along these lines, and he never knew how to answer.
“Yeah!” He said, like he always responded, before he even had a chance to think.
He paused the cartoon and opened his mouth, ready to say something, when an aggressive knock hit the front door. “I’ll get it,” Chris said, jumping over the chair and bounding towards the door.
When the door opened, Daniel stood there, face teary and arms squarely crossed.
“Uh… Are you okay?”
Chris chastised himself inwardly. What kind of question was that? He clearly wasn’t okay. Chris should help him. But he didn’t know what to do.
“Do you wanna have a sleepover?” Daniel asked. “If it’s okay with your dad.”
Chris hesitated for a second, afraid to ask. His dad had never said no, but…
Dad suddenly came up behind him, hand on Chris’ shoulder. The three of them didn’t notice when Chris flinched. “Daniel! It’s freezing outside, you should come in!”
Daniel climbed inside, stomping his feet on the mat before sliding off his shoes. Chris took the moment to ask, “Do you think he could sleepover? It’s Saturday,” he said to his dad.
“Well…” Dad started. But then Daniel turned back around and the two of them were facing Dad. “Of course he can. But don’t forget you have Sunday chores.”
“I have to go to church tomorrow morning,” Daniel added, suddenly. This made Chris’s head turn.
“What? No way! What about…” He almost asked. He wasn’t sure if Dad had ever heard all of Daniel’s stories, so he didn’t finish.
“I know! I don’t wanna go. Sean says I shouldn’t, and he was there! Plus, they still won’t let me text him, even though he got a phone months ago. I tried to talk to her but she got all angry,” Daniel explained, as Dad led them into the living room. Daniel took a seat on the couch. “It was total bullshit!”
“Hey, you shouldn’t swear,” Chris said, quietly.
“It’s okay, Daniel. I know you’re angry,” his dad said. Chris looked up, wide-eyed. Chris had never even tried to swear…
Daniel’s head swung down into his hands. “Sean never let me swear,” he said.
Chris looked from his dad, back to Daniel, back to his dad. His blue eyes were wide like saucers, completely unsure of what to do.
“I bet you miss your brother, buddy. I wish you guys could talk more,” Dad said.
For the first time in years, Chris was so thankful that his dad was there to save him. Dad talked to Daniel a little more about Sean, before he made them hot chocolate and sent them to bed.
In bed, Chris laid there silently, unable to sleep. He could hear Daniel to his right in the sleeping bag tossing and turning too.
He wanted to help. So he tried.
“Hey, Daniel?”
“Yeah?”
“What was that guy's name, that you and Sean were friends with in California?”
“Oh, Finn?”
“Yeah! Will you tell me more about him?”
“Yeah! One time, he showed me how to throw knives at a target…”
They talked all the way until midnight.
—
After Christmas and after winter break was over, Daniel started going to school. Chris was so excited! They walked together every day, and sometimes Stephen even drove them and they could get hashbrowns from AFC.
But there was the issue of the other kids. Some of them knew about Daniel and what he could do, and others just looked at the thing he had to wear around his ankle and laughed. There was even a rumor that went around that it was to stop him from murdering the teachers.
lt didn’t really bother Chris. He hadn’t had friends before, and now he had a new best friend to sit with at lunch! But they had to sit alone, away from the other kids, and Daniel always seemed angry about it.
On January 14th, Daniel said, “Do we have to sit all the way over here?” On January 16th, he just groaned, and on January 17th, he was being really mean.
“Don’t you have any other friends?” He asked. Chris’ eyes went wide— as they tended to, around Daniel.
“What do you mean?”
“Like, other people to sit with. It’s lame that we sit here alone like losers.”
Chris looked down at his tray, and his throat got heavy and thick. “I like sitting with you,” he mumbled.
“I don’t like it over here all alone,” Daniel insisted.
This time, Chris was angry. He ripped his eyes from the tray and looked at Daniel. “Then leave,” Chris bit out. He was trying to be angry, but it was really hard not to cry instead.
“I don’t wanna leave, just…”
“Well, you’re being mean.”
“I’m not being mean!”
“Yes you are! You’re being totally mean and acting like you’re cooler than me!”
“No, you’re the one who’s cooler than me! You should have other friends, instead of sitting with the freak every day.”
“Stop acting like we aren’t best friends. You’re being an asshole!”
Daniel’s eyes went wide. It made his eyes look like two big Hershey’s Kisses. They paused for a moment— it was the first time Chris had ever said a bad word.
Daniel laughed, and then his face turned bitter. “Okay. I’m sorry I’m being an asshole. Just, my grandma keeps going insane about random shit and… I really miss Sean,” he said, dropping his head into his hand.
Chris felt bad for calling him an asshole. Even though he hated when Daniel was upset, he always explained it to Chris. It made Chris feel important, and he wanted to give that back.
Maybe that was why Dad had liked his talk with Sean so much, because Sean made him feel important. Maybe it just ran in the family or something. Chris wondered what it was like to feel important.
“I miss Sean, too!” Chris agreed. “I wish I had an older brother like Sean.”
Daniel sighed, like he wanted to feel better but couldn’t. Or maybe wanted to say something but couldn’t.
“I wish… I could make all this bad stuff in your life disappear. But I don’t get it… I’m not really a superhero, so I don’t have any real villains,” he said. Daniel smiled softly. “I wanna help, though. And you’re not a freak… or an asshole.”
“You are helping, Chris. You’re like my best friend, besides Sean.”
Best friend besides Sean. Chris could definitely make that work. You could love someone and still miss another person— If Chris knew anything, he knew that.