Chapter Text
The sun had set an hour ago, encasing the city in a dark blanket. But of course, this sign for rest was ignored. Lights lit the sky, and people bustled through the streets. Cars were honking, dogs were barking, and people were laughing. Everything was alive.
That was what he loved about the city, Shuichi thought as he swung through the air, the liveliness of it. Even if he himself preferred to observe from the sidelines. These nights he spent patrolling the city were not just a way to help people, but a way to relax his own state of mind. It seemed odd that capturing petty criminals and investigating dangerous cases could be considered therapeutic for him, but he couldn’t help it.
Another reason that made these nighttime patrols so special to him was the aspect of the mask. Outside of his Spiderman suit, Shuichi would often cover his head with a baseball cap. But his mask was a much more protective layer that he could wear without guilt because he needed it to keep his identity a secret. A secret for everyone besides Miu, his mad genius classmate who found out about him being Spiderman and begged to design a suit for him in exchange for studying how his powers worked.
Ever since Shuichi first got his powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider while helping his uncle with a case, he’s used them to help people under the alias of “Spiderman.” Not an alias he created, one that was given to him after videos of him began circulating on the internet. He wasn’t famous or anything, but there were people interested in the spider-themed vigilante. Especially when it came to light that Shuichi was not only stopping small-time crimes but also solving high-profile cases that not even the police could solve. Was it a bit dubious that he stole the cases from his uncle’s desk? Maybe, but moral ambiguity was the main theme of vigilantism.
Tonight was just a patrol, however. He wasn’t on the lookout for anything particular, just waiting to see if his spidey sense would alert him of any troubles. A big city never slept, there were always people to help.
Soon enough, a sharp signal sent his attention to an alleyway he was just about to swing over. In the mere moments he spent shooting a new web into the alley to swing in, a chorus of screams and shouts sounded from below.
“Yeah, try and hit me again, you little jackass!” A shrill declaration echoed off the brick walls. Shuichi collided with the wall and was able to see the source of the noise just in time. An obscene amount of cuss words poured out of the man as he warded off a swarm of people armed with guns and knives. Yet he easily evaded them and incapacitated each one so quickly that Shuichi couldn’t even see how he did so. The man was short and dressed in a similar fashion to Shuichi. He was dressed head to toe in red and black leather, a mask obscuring his face, and was littered with holsters and pouches holding who knows what.
The suit looked familiar, but Shuichi couldn’t place a finger on why. Regardless, Shuichi couldn’t leave him to handle this ambush on his own.
Using his still unknown presence, Shuichi shot out a web and snatched a gun from the man currently aiming at the leather clad individual. All heads turned towards Shuichi’s direction as he pulled the gun back toward himself before crushing it in his fist. Even with his cover blown, Shuichi still held the advantage of the high ground and shot out more webs as the people below fruitlessly attempted to dodge. One by one, weapons were snatched, and ankles were webbed together. People knocked into each other and fell over like dominos without Shuichi even stepping foot onto the battlefield.
It was over in seconds. He kicked off the wall and dropped down into the alley way in a crouch, observing the “massacre” he had committed. It felt almost too easy, but his spidey sense wasn’t alerting him of any final boss. The only other person left standing was the man in the mask.
Before Shuichi could ask him what had been happening, the masked man blurted out, “Ugh, I can’t believe you got in the way of that super awesome fight. I was having sooo much fun. You just made the whole thing boring.”
Shuichi was taken aback. No one had ever gotten angry at him for being saved before. “W-What?”
“Kidding! That fight was already boring anyways, but you made it way more fun. I’ve always wanted to watch Spiderman in action!” His voice took on a new cheery tone.
Shuichi was getting whiplash. “You know about me?”
“Well duh, there are videos about you literally everywhere. Also, people started mistaking me for you ‘cause of the whole costume thing.” The man motioned to each of their respective red suits, but Shuichi could not find enough similarity among them. “I had no choice to learn who you were when people kept screaming ‘Oh, Spiderman, my hero! Save me!’ Do you know how annoying that is to deal with?”
“I mean I would because I am Spiderman, except I don’t find it annoying.”
“Of course you wouldn’t, ballerina bug! You’re too much of a goody two shoes to think that.”
“...Spiders aren’t really bugs.”
White lenses stared blankly at Shuichi, an odd silence filling the air before laughter melted it away. “Man, you sure are weird,” The man said through a fit of giggles.
“Facts are weird, good to know.”
“Okay, I get the point Mr. Dry Humor! My hilarious jokes are just too low brow for you it seems.”
The exaggerated behavior of the other man enticed Shuichi to play along. “Quite, this nonsense is not tolerated in this city.”
Even though the other man’s eyes were covered in white, Shuichi could swear he could see a sparkle in them when he reciprocated the joke. “You beat up baddies and people who make terrible jokes? Wow, is there nothing you can’t do?”
“Well, I’m not that great at cooking.”
“Great, because I’m an amazing chef! I actually own a five star restaurant. This is just a side gig. It’s like we were meant to be!”
“W-What?” Shuichi was really thankful for the mask right then because it was the only thing hiding the blush on his cheeks and protecting his pride. Even with the more aloof character he played when he was Spiderman, he couldn’t help but let the facade slip at times.
“Aw, don’t get shy on me now, bug boy. You were doing so well.”
In his effort to get back on track, a statement the man said stuck out to him. That this was a “side gig.” After getting into a conversation with him, Shuichi was somehow distracted from the fight that had just taken place moments ago and the bodies on the floor. He had absolutely no clue what the man had been doing to these people, or who he even was.
Without wanting to jump to conclusions, Shuichi chose to continue the conversation in a civil manner. “You keep giving me nicknames even though you know my name is Spiderman. I don’t even have anything to call you.”
“You want something to call me? That’s sweet of you, but I don’t do the whole relationship thing.”
“Oh, that’s unfortunate.”
Definitely not being the answer the shorter man was expecting, he jumped to respond. “Deadpool! The name is Deadpool, Dead as in deader than the flowers I cut for you as a gift, and pool as in the pool we’ll be going to next week when I take you out!”
Ignoring the single handedly worst pickup line Shuichi had ever heard in his entire life, he tried to rack his brain for where he’d heard the name “Deadpool” before. It was familiar for some reason. Was he a superhero that he’s seen in the papers or a villain from the news? The name definitely had Shuichi leaning toward villain, but hey, names could be deceiving.
The blurry image of a case file sprung up in his head. Words pieced themselves together, and colors wove into a collection of pictures. Crime scene pictures.
When the file materialized in his head, Shuichi’s blood ran cold. His feet were frozen and his eyes blurred just as much as the previous foggy memory he was trying to decipher.
Deadpool wasn’t just some part time thug.
He was the hit man responsible for the deaths of the common man and wealthy alike. He was a serial killer for hire.
“Hey Spidey, what’s with the silent treatment—”
Webs to the wrist cut Deadpool off. The pair of makeshift handcuffs cut his access to his weapons. Another, larger string of web pounced and glued his body to the wall.
“So I’m taking this as a no on the date thing?”
“Be quiet.”
“Or what? You gonna web up my mouth next? That’s some kinky shit.”
“Deadpool.”
“Mhm, that’s my name, the one I just gave you.”
“Were you planning on killing these people if I hadn’t stepped in?”
Deadpool took a moment before responding. “Ohhhh, that’s what’s got you all in a tizzy! You know who I am. Weird, I know for a fact information about me hasn’t been released to the public yet. Are you a detective or something?”
“Or something. Answer the question.”
“I would say I liked you better when you were just joking around, but this side of Spidey isn’t too bad either.”
It took all of Shuichi’s power to stop himself from burying Deadpool in webbing and leaving him to be someone else’s problem.
“I guess I’ll just contact the police to deal with you all instead—“
“No need for that! I can talk, I can talk,” Deadpool blurted. “You caught me. I was sooo going to kill all these chumps. I had my swords ready for slicing, and you just had to come ruin it. I’m so distraught, betrayed, anguished—”
“O-Okay, I get the point,” Shuichi sighed. Dealing with Deadpool was like dealing with a migraine during finals season. Which probably should not be the comparison he made for Deadpool, considering a serial killer was a much larger offense than a migraine.
Powering through the headache, Shuichi felt that something was off about Deadpool’s words. A statement that didn’t quite fit. Shuichi examined the bodies on the floor and realized what was wrong.
Not a single body had a cut on them. In fact, there was no blood or injuries to be seen at all. All the thugs were knocked unconscious and hit their heads, but that was the extent of the damage.
“You never even pulled out your swords.”
“Hm?”
“You said you were just about to use your swords on these people, but in reality you never took them out. In fact, you never even used a weapon.”
“Well, I—”
“And another weird thing,” Shuichi’s detective brain was on a roll, “You’re a highly sought after hit man. You’ve never been discovered killing random criminals off the street.”
“What’s your point? I’m a busy man y’know, places to be, people to stab.”
“My point is, you were never planning on killing these people.”
That seemed to shut Deadpool up. A small dip in his mask indicated his jaw hanging open, which was soon shut tight. So soon Shuichi couldn’t have been sure he even saw it.
“I knew you would be interesting, Spiderman,” he cooed.
“Uh, thank you?”
“Really, you’re thanking a serial killer? Wow, you sure are stupid.”
“The fact that you’re constantly pushing the serial killer thing is beginning to seem suspect.”
“What? Why would I lie about being a serial killer? That’s a dangerous lie.”
Shuichi shrugged, “I never said you were lying. You just suggested that yourself.”
“Your brain must be part spider too if that’s the truth you want to believe in. Aren’t you supposed to be a genius?”
Deadpool kept speaking as if he knew Shuichi personally. Sure, Shuichi was a “boy detective,” but Deadpool didn’t know that, and that didn’t really qualify him as genius level anyways. “Genius?”
“Yeah, your webs that you designed. Chemicals and shit, I don’t know.”
“I didn’t… I didn’t design them. They’re part of my powers.”
“Then what the hell are the metal things on your wrist for?”
“They just help control the direction of the webs. Do people actually think I make the webs myself?”
“YES. Everybody thinks that. Oh my god, they come out of your body? Like a for real spider. This is too much to process.”
“Spider is literally in my name.”
“I thought that was just like your fursona or whatever.” Deadpool said that as if it was the most reasonable explanation. “Shouldn’t your webs come out of your ass then? That’s how normal spiders work.”
Deadpool’s crude comment has Shuichi choking on his own spit. “W-What is wrong with you?”
“A lot. For example, the fact that I’m a serial killer, which you seem to have forgotten. But hey, if you think I’m innocent why don’t you just cut me free and let me go on my merry way.”
“Oh right, I uh, I actually can’t.” Shuichi really needed to stop impulsively webbing people.
“What do you mean you can’t? Is this some weird moral thing that you superheroes can’t stop raving about these days.
“Vigilante, technically. And no, it’s because I literally can’t. The webs are too strong to cut.”
“You- You don’t even have some sort of chemically thing you could use?”
“I told you, I didn’t make the webs myself. I have no idea how to make a dissolvent.”
“Well fuck you silly and sideways.”
“I don’t think that’s how the—”
“I know what I said.”
Deadpool’s personality was truly not what Shuichi was expecting when he read the brutal descriptions of his past hits. Really not the type of guy you’d think had sawed someone’s head off and thrown it into a river. Although, the fact that Deadpool was lying about attempting murder of the people in the alley was causing Shuichi a small doubt that those case files were even accurate. He didn’t have much he could say about Deadpool for sure. The one thing he did know was that he was a liar.
“It should be about two hours before the webbing dissolves on its own.”
“Two hours!” the man spluttered, “Listen Spidey, it’s been nice and all, but leaving a man to hang around on a shady alley wall for two hours is a little cruel, don’t you think?”
Shuichi hadn’t ever had to think about what happened to the people he trapped after the fact because the authorities would always arrive, and they’d be taken away. However, Deadpool was trapped to a wall with no way of moving him except cutting the brick wall behind him.
What was Shuichi even thinking? Obviously authorities should be contacted. Not the police, that wasn’t the group that would deal with a criminal like Deadpool upon capture. Deadpool was the wanted property of the superhero branch of the FBI, which was the highest level of sought over criminal that could be imagined. Yet some part of Shuichi told him to wait. His spidey sense hadn’t failed him yet, so why would it start now?
“I can wait with you while it dissolves.”
“I feel like you don’t like to think before you say things.”
“No, I thought about it for quite a bit.”
“No duh, I was lying. You were silent for like a full minute.”
Shuichi has been told he had a tendency to go quiet for long periods of time without realizing it. That’s just how his brain worked best, he supposed.
“Hey, I’m not going to stop you if you want to try and hang out with me. It’ll just make it easier to kill you once I escape!”
“Sure,” Shuichi humored him.
“Aw, don’t be like that. You’re still my favorite, even if I have to stab you.”
The occasional praise Deadpool sandwiched between threats should not have riled up Shuichi as much as it did. “Is the whole ‘favorite thing’ sarcasm?”
“Duh, why would you be my favorite when you left me here to rot and starve! I was supposed to be having dinner right now.”
“Oh.” Shuichi brought a hand to his chin. It was going to be two hours until Deadpool could leave. Having him go without food was some cruel and unusual punishment that didn’t exactly fit the Spiderman method. “I can get us pizza?”
“Pizza.”
“Do you not like pizza?”
“I do. It’s just—” Deadpool struggled to form his words “—You’re offering to buy me pizza?”
“I just said I would.”
A wicked grin appeared beneath the mask. “I’m not going to say no to free food. It’s not like you can try and kill me with poison.”
“I wouldn’t—”
“I’m a superhero, I would never kill someone!” he parodied. “Blah blah blah, I want food.”
With a huff and a warning to stay put, even though it was meaningless because there was no way Deadpool could run off, Shuichi swung back into the air and didn’t pause until he found a small pizza restaurant. Some of the patrons and staff recognized him, making the whole ordeal take longer than it should have, but eventually, he was in the air again with a box of cheese pizza at his side.
However, when he returned to the alley, there was no Deadpool to be found. The white spider webs were still stuck to the wall but were absent of the body who was just told to stay put. Though, it was foolish of him to even think that demand had any effect on the quote-unquote serial killer.
That fact played into the humiliation Shuichi felt as he stood alone in the alley way, only him and a box of cold pizza. His mind decided to push down the embarrassment by investigating the webs, seeing what could’ve happened to them to allow Deadpool freedom.
He set the pizza box on the ground and pulled the webbing into his hands. The whole thing was still intact, no slices in sight. He knew he wrapped the other man tightly, making the whole even more confusing.
It wasn’t till he looked past the webs and saw the sticky note on the wall behind it did he have his answer.
“Sorry Spidey, I would’ve loved to stay for our date but unfortunately I have places to be, more people to kill, and didn’t feel like getting arrested tonight. If you’re wondering how I got out, then keep wondering! Cause I ain’t telling. Hope to see you again soon, toodles!” The whole note was written in a large, loopy font and was accented with a heart doodle at the end of it.
It was mocking him, a big slap in the face for his incompetence for keeping one bad guy detained. Especially the last line. What criminal would want to run into the city’s designated super vigilante again? Unless they were crazy.
Deadpool was crazy. But the guy seemed to like his freedom so he doubted the legitimacy of his wish to see eachother again soon. Because the moment Shuichi saw him again, he’d be webbing him up all over again.
His anger was combined with another feeling, however.
Curiosity.
Deadpool was an enigma, barely anyone had talked to the man before. And Shuichi still had his questions, like how Deadpool managed to escape,
how his powers worked, and why he was seemingly lying about his intent to kill. None of it made sense.
Shuichi sighed as he grabbed the note and folded it to hold in his hand because he was the ‘genius’ who didn’t ask for pocket’s in his suit design when he had Miu make it for him.
As he shot out a web to swing into the night and continue his patrol, he made a decision. He would be taking Deadpool up on the offer of a ‘date,’ whether he wanted to or not.