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Their undercover stint was already winding down by the time they got the marriage certificate in the mail.
A marriage certificate.
A freakishly real-looking marriage certificate.
Was this the price they had to pay for general competence and risking their lives for the safety of society? Sure, they were meant to pose as a married couple to blend into this upper-class suburban neighbourhood, but he was pretty sure posing as a couple didn’t entail actually having a marriage certificate.
This smelled strongly of Su Mucheng’s scheming.
“Why are you just standing there?” Han Wenqing asked as he walked down the stairs.
“Did you know we got married?” Ye Xiu asked.
“...Is that your shitty way of proposing?” Han Wenqing replied, brows drawn together forebodingly.
Ye Xiu walked over to Han Wenqing and handed the certificate over. “Unfortunately, it was actually a legitimate question.”
Han Wenqing grabbed the document and read it over, his eyebrow rising centimetre by centimetre the longer he looked at it. “How did she even manage to do this?”
“There are some mysteries in this world that we will never be able to solve.” Ye Xiu answered dryly, before reaching into Han Wenqing’s pocket.
“Use your own goddamn phone.” Han Wenqing said. Ye Xiu just hummed noncommittally. He’d stop the day it actually started bothering Han Wenqing. Until then, he would only turn on and use his own phone when absolutely required by the job, and not one minute more.
“Got a surprise in the mail today”, he sent to Su Mucheng.
The phone pinged with a reply in less than a minute. “If I can’t be your Best Woman whenever you two finally decide to get married, then a certain someone-who-will-not-be-named can’t be your Best Man either. :)”
Ye Xiu snorted and handed the phone back to his apparent-spouse. Han Wenqing raised his eyebrow. “How long have they been fighting over this? Because I can’t remember ever asking or agreeing to get married.”
“Honestly, that’s probably partly why she did this. She’s been dropping hints about shopping for gowns and suits for around three years now.”
Han Wenqing blinked. “We only started dating around that time. Did she just decide we were getting married as soon as we went out on one date?”
“You’re welcome to try to convince her we weren’t actually dating before then. For some reason, apparently everyone thinks we’ve been together for five years. God knows why they all believe we’d even bother pretending we weren’t dating if we were, but whatever.”
“Huh.” Han Wenqing said, surprised.
“Yep.” Ye Xiu answered, popping the ‘p’.
Ye Xiu turns to head to the kitchen, about ready to put this behind them and get on with their day, when Han Wenqing calls out to him.
“Hey. Catch.”
Ye Xiu turned and caught the small box Han Wenqing tossed over, and started laughing when he recognized that it was a ring box.
“Oh my god, were you planning on asking me today? Was this in your pocket? Would you have actually succeeded in asking me before we found out we were already married, if only you didn’t kick me out of bed for me to take my turn doing the morning chores?”
“Shut up.” Han Wenqing said, before nudging him aside to go into the kitchen.
Ye Xiu continued laughing as Han Wenqing made his usual disgusting morning protein shake, and didn’t stop until Han Wenqing stormed over where he’d ended up sitting, grabbed the ring box, slipped the ring on his finger, and kissed him squarely on the lips.
It was a little hard to laugh after that.