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It’s the fifth ball of the summer and Vera has grown quite tired of the shallow pleasantries. Every night is the same as the first, with the occasional gossip over rejections and even more shallow betrayals. But tonight, as she enjoys sipping on some champagne in the outer edges of the ballroom, she notices there’s a different kind of excitement in the air.
The talk is centered around one man in particular, dressed in a classic black suit. It’s hard to really say anything good or bad with the masks, so Vera can only wonder who would warrant such recognition.
“You’re curious too?” A young lady asks her with excitement. “He just appeared out of nowhere.”
“What do you mean? Surely someone knows who he is?”
“Trust me, I’ve been asking around.” The lady giggles, “Nobody has a clue, but he’s quite the charmer.”
Vera rolls her eyes. “You all say that about 10 different guys a night.”
“You only think that because you haven’t socialized at all during any of these parties!” The lady whines before getting defensive. “You know, you’re never going to attract any guys with that attitude.” She keeps talking, but Vera tunes her out, excusing herself for a drink refill.
“Really, the audacity…” Vera stares at the topic of discussion from across the floor with indifference. “Those poor girls get hung up on the most ridiculous things.”
Suddenly, as if he heard her, the mystery man finds her gaze. Vera waits to see when he’ll look away, but he never does. As she watches him appear to excuse himself from a conversation just to walk towards her, she turns away quickly, overcome by the straightforwardness of the action.
She likes the attention, don’t get her wrong. But she’s not looking for a suitor tonight, or any other false whisper promised on a drunken summer night. Love is something beyond her, transcendent in both concept and execution. She cannot recall if she had ever loved, if she had taken that love away, let it rot in her hands.
So she turns a blind eye to it. Circles the tables quickly but not so fast as to lose her grace, eventually dips between others in an attempt to create distance. She ignores the footsteps a beat off from hers, ignores the way her heartbeat picks up the pace with every excuse me, pardon me, from the stranger.
When she can’t help but look back between the crowd, she freezes. If she had wanted to reject him from the start she would’ve done it swiftly, leaving no room for an argument. If not a rejection, and not a commitment… What exactly does she hope to achieve?
“I take it you’re done running away from me?”
The question startles Vera, taking her out of her thoughts and right to the heart of the issue. He had caught up to her while she was distracted. “I couldn’t possibly know what you mean.”
The man scoffs before grinning, more amused than offended by Vera’s reaction. “Forgive me. What I meant to say is simple.” He bows, extending a gloved hand. As if staged, the music slows to an end right as he asks, “May I have this dance?”
Vera hides any desire to smile, along with any interest she has in him. He wears a mask resembling an insect’s wings dipped in black and gold. Similarly gold, a brooch resembling a bee rests on his lapel.
Subconsciously, Vera finds herself reaching for her necklace, gently circles the ridges and engravings. A single butterfly wing, forever torn apart from the one which completes it.
They match. In both theme and color, her purple accents complimentary to gold, they match enough that any onlooker might assume they had come to the ball together. Funnily enough, that’s enough for Vera to entertain the offer. Her own dress and outfit will begin to stand out if she sticks next to him. She’ll look even more beautiful dancing, the envy of both women and men. Slowly, she takes his outstretched hand. “You may.”
When the stranger smiles, Vera fleetingly wonders if something like this could count as fate.
“I was starting to think you were going to say no.” He turns to lead them to the dance floor, where other pairs have already gotten settled.
“Don’t get full of yourself. I only agreed because your suit looks good with my dress.”
“Just my suit?”
He grins over his shoulder while Vera struggles to find a casual answer. She’s not looking for a perfect match, but she suddenly gets the feeling that he isn't either. That this is nothing more than amusing to him. While it could just be her own projection, Vera thinks they both might be one and the same.
“You must be confident in your looks, to say such a thing masked.”
“Ah…” There’s that smile again, so easily given. “I got so used to the mask I forgot it was on me.” He laughs, “So it really was my outfit?”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
“Don’t be. If it means I get to dance with you, I’m grateful.”
“Uh…”
“Too much?” He turns and raises his right hand.
“No? Just different.” Vera steps forward to take his hand again. She’s surprised to find it almost as small as hers, more fitting to hold. Her other hand rests on his shoulder, as he gently holds her back. It’s a closed position in dance, tight enough that they’re hips touch but loose enough that Vera can step alongside her partner, as she stands slightly off center to the left.
They begin when the music picks up, falling into the waltz. It’s a fairly easy dance to learn. If you lead, you step forward with your left foot first. Then you bring the other forward but sideways to the right, so you can sidestep and bring both feet together again. The follower does the same motion but backwards so they’re synched. Both partners keep their movements on a three count, a slow tempo that many find relaxing.
“I’ve seen many butterflies over the years, but none quite as beautiful as you.”
“Am I supposed to be flattered?”
“I would hope so. I’m a researcher of bugs, so it’d be hard to name a species I don’t know.”
Vera laughs a little— an entomologist! Everything about the other’s attire suddenly makes sense.
“Are you fond of insects?” He asks.
“Oh no, I despise them.”
“Is that so?”
“Truthfully. Do you know how hard it is to be ladylike at outside gatherings when they’re everywhere?”
The stranger laughs softly as he pulls her into a spin. “I’d know more than you think.”
Vera raises an eyebrow at that, but doesn’t comment. She’d much rather focus on the present: his hand catching her by the hip when she finishes her twirl, how his grip is light and demure. He carries his weight well, steps clearly synced to the music.
“How does a scientist learn to dance with such ease?” Vera voices her thoughts. Everything about the other seems well practiced, like he's only showing what he wants people to see. It would be another thing that makes them similar.
“I was not always taken to science. Growing up, I had been raised to believe that marrying would be the height of my achievement and worth. Needless to say, I realized I was not fond of the prospect, but at least I’m an excellent cook because of it.”
“Cook? Most assume the wife will take care of housework.”
“While that’s true, I’d rather not dwell too long on the past. You know, you’re quite the dancer yourself. Shall we pick up the pace?”
Vera hums into her answer, clearly entertained. “On your lead.”
That being said, he quickens his footwork, heightening their difficulty of the dance. Vera has to follow with some effort, but she finds this new pace more enjoyable than the slow drawl of basic steps, a pleasant change to this year’s set of debutante balls.
He pulls her along the dance floor gently. It’s just so easy with him, as though she’s walking on clouds. Vera can’t recall the last time she’s felt more herself, dancing here, free of the weight which tethers her to her name. What else is she supposed to do with such a giddy, childlike feeling, besides laugh?
As the music reaches its climax, they both become more adventurous with their moves, completely breaking stance to instead circle each other around the floor. They’ve gained an audience at this point. The distant chatter and praise clearly spurs Vera on, as she is the one to offer her hand when they reunite, guiding him into their next steps.
“You wish to lead?” He questions.
Vera scoffs. “What, is being led by a woman so embarrassing?”
“No! No, I’m just… surprised. In a good way.”
“Oh.” Vera responds flatly, feeling her face heat up. “Well then.”
She briefly hopes her mask conceals the blush as she steps to spin her partner. His grin suggests otherwise, but to Vera’s relief he says nothing about it.
As they make another pass through the ballroom, they both remain silent, too caught up in the feeling of another’s presence. The song begins its decrescendo. Switching leads again to match the song’s falling tempo, they settle back into their initial pace.
As the song comes to an end, he dips Vera with a steady hand, smiling wide. “Thank you for the dance.”
They stay like that for a moment, before he raises her up and lets go of her back. When it’s clear she won’t respond, he extends another offer. “Would you like to take a walk in the gardens?”
Just like that, Vera feels as though she’s been taken out of a trance. She had acted without thinking. Foolishly, she assumed they were the same, that he wouldn’t feel any attachment. Or perhaps, it was her own delusions that brought her to believe she didn’t desire the prospect of love herself?
She wills her thoughts away as she nods and walks off the floor. No problem. She’ll simply walk to the garden and reject his advances, like she would any other.
The walk there is quiet. He seems to be thinking something over, which only seems to confirm Vera’s fears. But when they reach the garden entrance, an arched hedge surrounded by hydrangea bushes, he doesn’t seem very interested in Vera at all.
“Follow me. There’s… something I want to show you.” He starts walking, leaving Vera no choice to catch up.
“You know your way around this maze?”
“Yes, well… I’m acquainted with the Woods’ family. The lady of the house is well versed in gardening, so she’s enlisted my help in checking on the ecosystem from time to time.”
“You’re weirdly sociable for a scientist, you know that?”
He raises his eyebrow and exhales in disbelief. “Perhaps you’re the only person who would think so.”
“But you seemed to be getting along with everyone at the party.”
“I’m not usually like that. Most would describe me as a hermit, actually.”
“Huh…”
“Ah, we’re here.” He stops to step aside a wooden gate. “Please, go first.”
Vera frowns but pushes the gate open anyways, and through the other side is… a willow tree. The leaves hang down right to the ground, almost forming a barrier around the tree to protect it. It’s pretty, yes, but she’s not sure what else she’s supposed to say.
A light hand gives her a tap on the shoulder, and the entomologist heads right through the leaves. Vera follows with curiosity.
There’s nothing particularly special under the tree. Honestly, there’s nothing special about the tree itself either, since the willow can be commonly found. But when Vera turns to look back at her surroundings, she’s struck silent.
“At this hour, the sunset lights up these trees through the gaps in the branches, melting away your surroundings. What do you think?”
Vera smiles. “I feel as though you’re determined to drag me into another world.”
He laughs softly. “Is that such a bad thing?”
“No… Well, maybe a bit scary.”
“I’d be with you the whole time!”
Vera kicks her foot into the grass. “That’s the scary part.” She admits.
He pauses at that, settling into a frown. “I’m sorry to say this, but I do have ulterior motives in bringing you here.”
Vera stares at him shocked. Does he really think she doesn’t know he fancies her? “I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“What?”
“Why do you sound so shocked? I’ve made it quite clear this summer that I have no intention of marrying.”
“No, I… I’m sorry. Of course you would think that’s where this was going. I don’t wish to propose that sort of relationship either.”
Vera, entirely confused now, watches in silence as he removes his mask.
“My name is Melly Plinius.” They speak in a slightly higher tone than before, but with the same soft cadence. Vera realizes this is their natural way of speaking. “Please excuse my unsightly appearance.”
Vera notes the rash that climbs their skin like fire. There’s a bubbling sort of scar in the area, which Vera can’t place to a cause from memory. But there’s nothing ‘unsightly’ about it. Their eyes are a dark blue that one could get lost in, and Vera has to remind herself of deceit so she isn’t swayed. “Are you trying to make a fool out of me?”
“No. It was not my intention to lie to you.”
“Then what is this?” She exclaims. Her stomach drops with unease, and she briefly considers leaving the garden at once. It would be the smart thing to do. But against her better judgement, she finds herself wanting to believe those words.
“I have been truthful to a degree. In every aspect, this is how I wish the public to see me, and I enjoyed my time with you as a man would.”
“Surely you jest.”
“I do not. Truthfully, few people are aware of my… situation. I wear headgear outside so others cannot surmise anything from my appearance. Because of this, a masquerade was the only way I could approach you without nonsensical rumors spreading.”
Vera quietly takes that in. It’s not like such a person is unheard of, even though she doesn’t personally understand it. More than that, her discomfort comes from a lack of understanding within herself, faced with something she’s never thought about. What does it mean if she still finds Melly attractive? “Why go through all that effort to meet me?”
“I need a specific perfume made.”
That was the last thing Vera expected to hear. “So all of this was business to you.”
“That’s…”
Melly looks away from her, and Vera suddenly feels all of her anger and confusion dissipate. This is just karma for forgetting her place. Vera Nair exists in this world as a specter, so none should get so close as to see her hollowed. “I understand. You can contact me through the Woods family and I’ll get it done. If that’s all, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my evening alone.”
She ignores Melly’s distress and turns to leave, when he says in a hurry, “I think you’re amazing.”
The statement startles Vera. “What?”
“You carry yourself with elegance in a way that brings other envy, and you’re aware of it. I like the way your eyes light up when you’ve been praised, and I like that you don’t back down from a challenge even more.”
“W-Wait a second—”
“It’s true that I want a certain perfume made. It’s not an easy concoction, so naturally, I had looked into every possible option. And I concluded that you’re the best in your field. Though I can’t wear fragrance around my bugs, I like the way your formulas portray a sense of longing beyond the scent.”
Slowly processing the other’s words, Vera can only question the last thing that had been said. “Longing?”
“Yes. I saw the change after your storm collection, which I admit, is rather early in your career. I have gone back quite a bit in my research.”
There it is again. The feeling like they’ve seen right through her. Vera had released that collection on her first birthday alone.
“The more I found out about you, the more I wanted to learn. Perhaps tonight was a bit of an experiment to see what you were really like, and for that, I apologize. If I’ve made you uncomfortable, please, turn down my request.” Melly takes a deep breath, having said all of that in a rush. It seems that they’ve collected their bearings when they finish their confession simply: “I was not lying when I said I enjoyed my time with you greatly.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Vera states flatly. Overwhelmed by this information, she takes off her mask, walks out from under the willow tree, past the gate, and turns left to a bench she remembers spotting on their walk. Melly follows quietly and sits beside her.
Vera likes Melly. Their laugh is soft like the summer wind, and they’re tolerant in a way that makes Vera feel normal, to like the things that she does or openly speak her mind. The extension of a hand that’s there if you need it, but just as easily gone when you desire space. Despite everything, they seem honest. Vera doesn’t have to guess what they’re thinking because they’re so straightforward. Though… she’s not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.
“You said that you see me as a man would.”
Melly turns red at the topic change, but doesn’t take back his previous words. “That’s correct.”
“I’m not sure how to navigate that, so…” Vera bites her lip, unsure of whether she’ll regret her next words. “I would like to be your friend first.”
“Really?”
“I’ll accept your request for a commission as well.” Vera can practically feel Melly beaming next to her. “So um… It wouldn’t be adverse to sit with you a little longer.”
“You’re kind.” Melly sighs and relaxes into the bench.
Not wanting to overthink her actions, Vera lets the conversation end there and closes her eyes.
They sit like that for a while, getting comfortable with each other’s presence. It’s hard for Vera to admit that she likes the feeling of someone by her side. She’s not sure if it’s something she’s allowed to have, or if she really has been transported to a magical world. One where the stars shine even through the light of day, so she’ll never feel alone or lost. Where the sun whispers good morning, how are you, and the ocean sings her goodnight, sweet dreams. And Vera would have sweet dreams. She’d wake up and feel whole, walk through a door and finally find what she’s felt has been missing for so, so, long.
Caught up in her fantasy, Vera starts to drift off. Melly gently brings her head down to his shoulder to keep her from falling the other way.
“Will you disappear at midnight?” Vera mumbles.
“Like in Cinderella?”
“Yes… I don’t want to wake up yet.”
Though Vera doesn’t see it happen, there’s a tinge of sadness in the smile Melly gives her. Once, Melly gave his heart in the name of love. Over and over, the union that was supposed to be so sacred was defiled, and there was no God to stop him from taking a blade to sever the bond. Where has that love gone? And more importantly, does he want to find it?
Vera’s breathing deepens beside him, and Melly breathes in deep to match the rhythm. These next words are not for the woman beside him, but for his own frightened heart, which he has sheltered for much too long.
“I won’t disappear.”
Sleep comes quickly. The night takes their admissions with quiet patience and whispers them to the sun, so that their feelings may linger. So that in the morning as they wake, the simple spell of companionship casted over their hearts may resonate, within all the small spaces between them.