Chapter Text
“Fool!”, the kaijū Weavile shouted, stomping her feet on the ground. A small earthquake can be heard. “You think you can keep us apart?! You-”.
“OH SHUT UP!”. The Buneary wiggles away from the kaijū Ralts’ fingers, carefully wrapped around her in a protective manner. “I’M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT, ROSE! YOU’RE CLINGY AS FUCK! OPEN YOUR BIG FUCKING EARS AND LISTEN; I. DON’T. LOVE. YOU!”.
Astra chortles loudly, a slice of pineapple-and-ham pizza in her hand. “Man, this movie is, like… way cheesier than I remembered”. She’s laying on her right side, looking at the movie being projected on the side of the hill, a large pizza box next to her, under a colossal carton cup with a straw in it.
“I know, right?”. Terry takes a bite out of their cheeseburger, leaning on Astra’s forearm. “And the plot is so unoriginal! This must be, what? The billionth kaijū highschool romcom? Like… it feels like they’re taking the same movie, and just changing the title and the characters’ names! Heck, do you remember The Third King?”.
The kaijū Pikachu’s brows furrow. “Uh, that’s… the one with the Scyther… trying to impress the kaijū Pachirisu…?”.
Terry shakes their head. “No, no”, the Minccino corrects her. “It was the one where the kaijū Pachirisu was trying to save the Pichu princess”.
Astra’s eyes light up. “Oh, yeah! I remember now!”. She snickers. “That was actually kinda wholesome, not gonna lie!”. The large Electric-type takes a bite out of her pizza slice. “…I don’t know who got the idea of putting food and movies together, but that’s pog!”.
The Minccino nods. “Totally. We need to, like… invent a time machine, and go back to the past and tell them how awesome they are!”. They take a sip of their coke and continues. “Like, ‘hey dude, sorry to interrupt you, but you’re the most incredible Pokémon ever, and you have our eternal gratitude for making our evenings less boring’… and then we’d take them back with us and show them JUST HOW MUCH THEY’VE ACCOMPLISHED!”.
“Heh, that’d be pretty pog, too”, Astra comments as she grabs another slice of pizza. “Oh, hey, they’re fighting”.
Weavile shoved Ralts against a building. “IF I HAVE TO GO DOWN, I’LL BRING YOU FUCKERS WITH ME!”.
“…you know, I almost never understand these characters”, the kaijū admits, sipping some of her melon soda. “I can’t see what they’re fighting for. Like, I know Weavile is made because she’s been rejected, but she’s, like… massively overreacting!”. She points at the screen. “You see that skyscraper right there? The one who crumbled just now? That’s at least 500,000,000 Jewels worth of damage. There’s no way she’d be able to pay that off, and she has no reason to do any of this!”.
Terry nods approvingly while finishing their cheeseburger. “Yeah, I can see that. It feels like every single kaijū antagonist is a hothead. They never have complex personalities!”. They shake their head in disapproval, their arms crossed. “It kind of pisses me off… I want to see a good kaijū villain, dammit!”.
“I agree”. Astra lowers her pizza slice towards the Minccino. “Want some?”.
“Nah, I’m good”, they reply, shrugging. “Besides, I’m not really a big fan of pineapple-and-ham pizza. I really don’t know how you can eat that stuff, it’s… not good”.
“…AND BANANA-HAM-ONION-AND-CURRY PIZZA IS?!”.
“TO EACH HIS OWN, ALRIGHT?!”.
The end credits soon roll, just as Astra inserts the slice in her mouth and bites it. Then, she gets up and collects her stuff. “Same time, next week?”, she asks Terry.
“Same time, next week”, the Minccino answers. “You know I’d never give up on our Weekly Romcom Review~”.
^^^