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Momo sat in her room, silent, wrapped in blankets with a blank expression on her face. Tears welled up in her eyes for what felt like the tenth time that day. She just let them fall, not bothering to wipe them. Usually, Sana or Dahyun would comfort her and tell her everything will be alright, but they were the reason she was in that state. The two had announced to their group that they were dating, that they loved each other dearly.
Momo felt her heart shatter. She smiled anyway, leaving quickly to avoid crying in front of her very happy friends. She practically ran to her room, locking the door behind her. She leaned on the door and soon felt her legs give out. Silent, intense sobs wracked her body as she laid her head in her hands. She felt broken. Because she was in love with both of them.
She never said a thing, knowing that it was weird and they'd never be interested. Now with the confirmation that they have each other, she was truly destroyed. She avoided them for weeks, not staying around them for too long and doing all of her work at ungodly hours, hoping they wouldn't cross paths. Her members tried to get through to her and figure out what was going on but she would just shut down.
She couldn't have them knowing, they'd be weirded out and she'd have to leave the group. There was a knock on the door. She didn't reply, didn't unlock the door. "Momo, please open the door." She felt guilty for shutting her friends out, that feeling coming back tenfold when she heard the sad, tired tone of Chaeyoung on the other side of the door.
"It's my birthday, I just want to celebrate with you. Even if it's just a few minutes." Momo felt even more guilt. "I can't." Chaeyoung barely heard her through the door. "Momo, please. You don't even have to come out. I just want to spend a few minutes with you. You've been avoiding all of us and I miss you, we all miss you." Momo felt her tears come back.
She wiped her eyes and got up. "Can I just give you your present?" She could practically hear the smile on Chaeyoung's face. "Yes, that would be nice." Momo reached under her bed and pulled out the fancy set of colored pencils and watercolor paints. She threw the blanket on her bed and tried to make herself look presentable. She opened the door, a small smile adorning when she saw how excited Chaeyoung was.
"I heard you talking about these a while ago. I found them at a shop in Japan, I hope you like them." Chaeyoung opened the box the art materials were in and her face lit up. "You remembered that?" Momo nodded. Chaeyoung looked up at her and gave her a hug. "Thank you, Momoring." She didn't let go for a while. "I missed you. Thank you for this."
Momo squeezed her tight and let go. "Momo?" Momo turned to look down the hall, spotting one of the two that she was trying to avoid. Her eyes widened and she stepped back into her room. "Happy birthday, Chaengie. Eat an extra slice of cake for me." She closed the door. Sana's face fell. Chaeyoung turned to her. She held up her gift. "She got me those pencils and paints we saw in Japan."
Sana smiled softly, knowing Momo remembers almost everything that makes her friends happy. "How is she?" Chaeyoung's smiled faltered. "She..." Chaeyoung furrowed her brows. She felt a tear track down her cheek. Sana pulled her into a hug. "I'm so worried, unnie. She looked so sad and just...broken. I just don't know what happened." Sana held her and let her cry.
Momo heard their conversation through the door, that guilt sweeping over her yet again. She wished she could be okay. She wished she could get over her stupid feelings and just be okay. But she just couldn't. She couldn't even look at Sana without panicking. She felt awful, selfish for being so upset over something that she didn't have the right to be upset about.
Her door suddenly opened and she jumped. She didn't lock it. She didn't want to look at whoever was at the door. "Momo?" She froze. Dahyun. She heard the door close again, felt the bed dip next to her. She refused to look at her, she couldn't. She knew she'd either lash out or admit the secret she's kept for so long.
"Darling, look at me." Her heart broke a little more at the pet name Dahyun often called her. "I can't." Dahyun felt a lump in her throat at the quiet sentence. "Please, I miss you. We all miss you so much." Momo shook her head. "You shouldn't." Dahyun was confused. "Why?" Momo bit her lip, still not turning around. "I'm not normal. I'm...weird." Dahyun was definitely lost at this point.
"Why do you think that?" Momo fought back tears again. With a shaky voice, "I can't tell you. Everyone would hate me and I'd have to leave the group." She had a realization. "I- I should leave. That way you all can remember me as the normal Momo." She was definitely delusional. Dehydrated and weary. "Momo, you're not leaving." Dahyun's tear-soaked tone brought Momo to attention.
She looked at her for the first time in weeks, looked her in the eye. Dahyun gasped when she saw the state Momo was in. "M- Momo..." Momo felt her walls crumble. "I can't do this anymore. All I'm doing is causing you all pain because I can't get over my stupid feelings." Dahyun's unshed tears were making an appearance.
"Please don't talk about yourself that way. We aren't mad at you or angry that you're struggling. We just want to help, to help you fight whatever is going on." Momo thought about telling her. "I don't know how to fix this..." Dahyun looked at her sympathetically. "That's why I want to help. We want to help you." She reached out a hand to hold Momo's, but Momo jerked her hand away as a reflex.
Dahyun looked at her, confused. "Momo?" She turned around again. "Please leave. I need to get ready, I have something to do." Dahyun sat for a moment before following her wishes, leaving. "We love you, Momo. Please come home." Her jaw clenched and when the door closed, a flood of tears escaped. She got up, looking through her blur of tears to get ready. She took a shower and threw on an appropriate outfit for a conversation with JYP.
When she was ready, she texted one of their managers, asking her to keep quiet about where she was going. When she got the text that the manager had arrived, she grabbed her mask, cap, sunglasses, and bag. Heading out the door, she said another quick happy birthday to Chaeyoung and ran out the door. Sana ran to the door and grabbed Momo's arm. "Where are you going?" Momo gently shook her off. "Out. I have something I need to do."
Sana frowned at her cold tone and watched as she left. Then, she remembered all of their phones were linked so they could track each other. She quickly went back inside and grabbed her phone. "Where is she going?" Sana typed something into her phone. "I'm trying to find out." When she had the tracker pulled up, she realized where Momo was going and tilted her head, confused. "She's going to the JYP building. Do you think she's practicing?"
Everyone thought for a moment, then Dahyun gasped. "She's trying to leave the group." Jihyo was shocked. "She WHAT?" Dahyun nodded. "She thinks we'd hate her if she told us what's had her so depressed the past few weeks. She said it would be better to leave while we still know the 'old Momo' since she'd be kicked anyway if we knew." All of the girls were shocked.
"What could she possibly have done?" Dahyun shook her head. "She kept saying she was tired of hurting us because she couldn't get over her 'stupid feelings.'" Nayeon pulled out her phone and called one of their managers. "Girls, get your things, we're getting Momo back." Everyone frantically got ready and was out the door as soon as the car pulled up. "JYP building, quick." The manager nodded and stepped on the gas.
Meanwhile, Momo had arrived and was on her way to JYP's office. She was stopped by a choreographer. "Momo, where have you been? You missed two sessions." Momo looked guilty for a moment. "I'm sorry, I've been dealing with some things, I've realized that maybe I shouldn't continue this career." The choreographer's jaw dropped. "What? But you're incredible! You're one of the best idols I've seen in years."
Momo smiled sadly. "I'm sorry. I've let things get in the way of my success, hurting my members in the process. I can't safely do this anymore. I hope you can understand." She sighed. "If you think that's what's best." Momo nodded and said goodbye, on her way to JYP's office. The choreographer pulled out her phone and called Sana. "I stalled her, she's on her way to his office now."
"Perfect, we've just arrived. Thank you so much for your help, we all owe you." The woman smiled. "Just make sure she doesn't leave. She has too much talent to do anything else." With that, they hung up. Momo arrived at JYP's office, knocking on the door. "Come in." Momo opened the door. "Ah, Momo. What are you doing here?" She closed the door behind her and sat in one of the chairs.
"I apologize for not making an appointment, but this was urgent." She took a moment to think things over. "I- I think it would be best if I leave TWICE." JYP looked shocked. "What?" Momo struggled to continue. "I know I'm on a contract but I'm a risk to the group, the past few weeks have been awful. I can't continue to be a member of TWICE with my personal issues being so prevalent."
JYP was confused. Then, the door of his office swung open again. "Momo. Don't do this. We need you here." Momo clenched her jaw. "I've been nothing but trouble and I refuse to ruin this group because of my emotional issues." Nayeon spoke up. "The group would be ruined without you! It's always been the nine of us, you were brought back on Sixteen for a reason, we won't be TWICE without you."
JYP watched the interaction, already knowing he wasn't going to let Momo quit. "Why are you trying to keep me here? I've been horrible to all of you for weeks! Just let me leave!" Jihyo walked over to her. "No. You aren't going to leave. You're going to stay and we're going to figure things out, okay? We have plenty of resources and people that can help you move on from whatever has you down."
JYP quirked a brow. "So no one knows why she's been like this?" Jihyo shook her head. "Momo." Momo looked at her boss. "You're not leaving TWICE. We'll get you help and you'll be on hiatus until you've healed, alright?" Momo slumped in her chair. "Okay. I'm sorry for wasting your time." JYP nodded and the girls left.
"We'll get you help, okay? You'll be okay soon." Momo acted like she thought it would help. She knew she'd never get over it. She loved Sana and Dahyun too much. When they were back at the dorm Momo locked herself in her room again. A few hours later, she heard a knock on her door. "You have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow at three. You don't have to go, but I encourage you to." Momo recognized the voice as Jihyo.
"Okay." Jihyo left, glad Momo didn't ignore her.
The next day, she sat in a sterile waiting room. She played with her fingers until her name was called. She followed her new therapist into her office and sat on a cozy chair in the corner. "Hello, I'm doctor Park. You can refer to me as Roseanne if that makes you more comfortable." Momo shuffled nervously. "So, I got a basic run-down from your peers of the situation. Can you tell me what brought this on?"
"Right to the point, huh?" Roseanne nodded. "Well, um," she paused. "Is everything I tell you confidential?" She nodded again. "Okay, um. It started when two of my friends started dating. Um, I'm happy for them, of course, but I also was crushed." She was nervous to continue. Roseanne noticed and urged her to continue. "This is a safe space, just between you and me, no one else will hear any of this, okay?" Momo nodded and took a deep breath.
"I'm in love with both of them."
She let out a deep breath, feeling the weight leave her shoulders. "Seeing them together without you hurts. I understand you haven't had much interaction with any of your friends in weeks." Momo nodded. "I was absolutely crushed. I didn't want anyone to know why, so I hid. I just feel like they'd all hate me if I told them. It's weird, right?" Roseanne shook her head.
"It seems frowned upon here, but in other places, polyamorous relationships are very common. There isn't anything wrong with them. And it seems like your members aren't homophobic, I assume the couple is within the group." Momo nodded hesitantly. "I think, if you're ready, you should tell them. It doesn't have to be all at once. It can be person by person. Or even just the couple and no one else until you're all on good terms."
Momo thought about it. "I guess I owe them an explanation..." Roseanne nodded. "Think about it, okay? I'd like to see you again next week, sound good?" Momo nodded and thanked her, leaving with a new mindset. On her way home she texted Chaeyoung, asking if she wanted to get something to eat. An apology for messing up her birthday.
Chaeyoung agreed almost immediately, making Momo smile. When she got home Chaeyoung was ready at the door. She got in the car and they went to one of their favorite places. It was quiet and secluded, perfect for a conversation. "Chaeng, I owe you an apology. I've been a pretty bad friend to you and the others for a while. I want to tell you why."
Momo had her full attention. "It's about Dahyun and Sana." Chaeyoung tilted her head. "I... I'm kind of in love with both of them. And I know that's weird and not normal but I can't help it. The thought of them being together broke me and I couldn't get over it. I'm sorry for treating you so poorly. I hope you can forgive me."
Chaeyoung was shocked. "Momo, I could never be mad at you for feelings you can't control. None of the others could either. We all love you too much." Momo felt tears in her eyes. She held Chaeyoung's hand and let her tears fall. "Thank you for accepting me." Chaeyoung nodded and wiped her tears.
"I think you should talk to Sana and Dahyun. They've been worried the most, asking if we'd talked to you and whether or not you'd told us anything." Momo felt her heart clench, but under that was a small flutter of hope. "I think I will. Thank you for listening, Chaeng. Happy birthday." Chaeyoung smiled and continued to eat. "I've already started a portrait with the pencils you got me. It's a portrait of Mina, I want to give it to her."
"You should, I'm glad you like them." They finished their food and made their way back to the dorm. When they entered, Momo looked for the couple. She found them on the couch. "Um, Sana? Dahyun? Can I talk to you?" They both looked up, surprised. "Of course."
They went to Momo's room and all sat down. "First, I want to say sorry. I've been a shit friend and band member and I want to apologize for that. I owe you two an explanation." She sighed. "It started when you two announced that you were, are, dating." The two girls looked confused. "I've kept something from you, the both of you."
She took a deep breath. "I have feelings for both of you. Like, really intense roller coaster rush feelings that I can't get over no matter how hard I try. And when I heard you two were dating I was just wrecked. I felt like any chance I had was gone, that if I told you, you'd both hate me. I'd be kicked from the group and you'd all forget the good parts."
She was crying, sitting on the floor in front of the couple. Dahyun and Sana quickly got off the bed and sunk to their knees next to Momo. "Darling, don't cry. You can't choose who you love." Sana agreed. "We'll never be mad about your feelings." Momo wouldn't meet their eyes.
"We're actually very happy to hear how you feel." The two girls shared a look above Momo's head, silently agreeing to admit their feelings. "We love you just as much, Momo." Momo looked up, stunned. "You- you do?" They nodded, smiling. Momo felt like she was on cloud 9. "Oh my god, I can't believe it."
She had the biggest smile on her face. Sana and Dahyun matched it, elated to see Momo happy again. Sana held Momo's hand. pulling her closer. "Will you be ours?" She nodded vigorously. Sana pulled her in for a kiss, Both of them smiling into it. When they broke apart Dahyun swopped in to give Momo another. "I can't believe this is real."
She pulled them both in for a hug, crying happy tears into their shoulders. "I love you so so so much." The two girls felt themselves melting at her words. "We love you too, darling." When they had settled down Momo decided she wanted to tell the others. "They also deserve an explanation." So, they all walked out, hand in hand to tell everyone what happened.
"Hey, guys? Um, I want to explain why I've been so shitty lately." She explained what she was feeling and why she was feeling it, then leading into the second subject. She wrapped her arms around the girls at her sides. "We're all together now." Everyone was happy for them, smiling and happy to see Momo's smile again.
Jihyo stood up. "Let's go on vacation." The girls looked at her, confused. "Where did that come from?" She shrugged. "We need a break, I say we go to a beach somewhere for a week. We have the time, no comebacks at the moment." They all sort of shrugged, agreeing. "Let's do it."
The next week, they found themselves on a plane to Hawaii. They were in first class, the 'seats' more like small rooms. once they were safely in the air, they all moved to each other's seats. Momo and Dahyun went to Sana's seat and they all cuddled up in the large seat, more of a loveseat or couch. They closed the door and turned on a movie.
Momo was tired, soon drifting off in between her girlfriends. Dahyun smiled at her and motioned for Sana to get her phone. She took the hint and pulled it out to take a picture. She smiled at the photo, Momo adorably asleep, Dahyun smiling fondly and Sana's big grin. "Should I post it with a photo dump?" Dahyun nodded.
They were relaxed, just hanging out and dozing in and out of sleep. Their legs were tangled and you couldn't tell where one stopped and the other began.