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Katy jumped down on the couch next to Shang Chi, almost spilling the large bowl of popcorn she held in her hand. “Almost ready?”
“Yup.” Shang Chi shifted to allow room for her.
He relished the atmosphere of Katy’s house: Her mom hummed softly while she did the dishes, her waipo read a book in the corner, muttering to herself every once in a while, her brother shouted and cheered in the other room while he played his video game.
It felt warm and lively, similar to how his home in China felt before his mom—
No. Don’t think about that.
He had known Katy for about six months now, and they had been pretty much inseparable ever since they met. He was forever grateful for the way she befriended him so easily, at a time when he needed a friend more than ever, and was so glad he found someone he connected with so easily.
He was at her house to watch a movie, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself when he realized just how normal his life had become.
Katy started scrolling through Netflix with the remote, making remarks here and there when she came across movies she had already seen or heard about. Shang Chi didn’t recognize most of them, but he enjoyed listening to Katy chatter.
“Ooh, let’s watch this one!” Katy pointed to some low-budget action thriller that Shang Chi doubted held any cinematic merit.
Shang Chi wrinkled his nose. “Eh, let's find something else.”
“What about this one?” She pulled up some pg-13 horror movie about a serial killer.
“Ugh. No.”
“C’mon, Shaun, these look exciting!” Katy groaned.
Shang Chi shrugged. “I don’t really like action movies,” he said quietly.
“You’re literally a teenage boy!” Katy exclaimed. “These movies were, like, made for you!”
Shang Chi chuckled a little to hide the cringe he wanted to let out. Truth was, he had had enough fighting in his own life, he didn’t need to watch it on tv also. “I like rom-coms. And dramas,” he said.
“Ugh, snore. You sound like my mom,” Katy said. She shoved him playfully. “Such a softy.”
Lately, Shang Chi had been avoiding anything involving fighting, choosing instead to pretend the last 15 years of his life didn’t happen.
To pretend he didn’t know 101 ways to take a person down.
To pretend he hadn’t—
Knife sliding across—
Blood on his hands—
Nope. Not thinking about that. Shoving all that into a little box and locking it away.
“Hmm…” Katy continued looking. “What about this?”
She selected some comedy movie from, like, 2005. The synopsis marketed it as a lighthearted and comedic spy-thriller.
Shang Chi had to give props to Katy for finding something that fit both their interests. He still didn’t love the idea of it, but he doubted Katy would settle for anything else.
“This looks terrible,” Shang Chi laughed.
“Let’s watch it.”
“Fine.”
The beginning was pretty entertaining, showing a nerdy guy going about his day to day life, as increasingly more pathetic and funny things happened to him. Shang Chi couldn’t help but laugh, especially because every time Katy laughed, she snorted, which just made her laugh more.
Eventually, though, the plot took a turn as the main character was accidentally recruited by some top secret spy agency and paired to work with a classic badass, drop-dead gorgeous spy.
There was a scene where she was teaching him how to shoot a gun, and Shang Chi felt a ripple of anxiety ruin his mood a little. He quickly pushed it down, deciding to focus instead on how badly the guy was handling the gun and the jokes he made throughout the scene.
It definitely didn’t remind him of the time his father—
Nope. Not at all.
The action finally really picked up as they got to the third act, and Shang Chi was doing his best to tune out the whole thing, focusing on the crunch of his popcorn instead of the sounds of punching, grunting, and gunshots.
It wasn’t working. It wasn’t.
But Shang Chi had worked so hard the few months to push away his past, to build up a wall between his old life and his new one.
He couldn’t let it fall now, not in this place where he felt so comfortable, with his best friend he loved so much.
Why was he so messed up? Why couldn’t he ever just enjoy himself?
He felt frustration bubble in his chest, and his fingers twitched with the want to punch something.
The big finale was the icing on the cake for him, as Americans say.
The main character found his inner strength and bravery, and used it to dramatically take out the villain, using a knife to slit his throat triumphantly.
Knife to the throat—
Blood on his hands, blood, so much blood—
Shang Chi stood up suddenly, heart hammering.
His father hitting him, again, again—
“Mama wouldn’t have wanted this for you,” Xialing said.
“She’s not here anymore, so just shut up,” Shang Chi snapped, going back to punching the wooden pole, focusing on the pain in his hands to distract from the pain in his heart.
“Shaun? You okay?”
“Yeah— yeah, I just—“
Helicopter blades whirring, whipping his hair into his face—
Knife sliding across the man’s throat, so smoothe, so easy—
The life fading from his eyes—
“I think I’m gonna—“ Shang Chi ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind him before spilling his guts out in the toilet.
He kneeled on the floor, shaking, blinking tears from his eyes.
He was a killer.
He could change his name, and move away, but he would always be a killer.
He was suddenly overcome with a familiar ache to go home, to cry at his father’s feet and beg him to forgive him, to let him come home again.
At least there, he wouldn’t have to hide. Maybe his father would even finally be proud of him.
But would he be able to look Xialing in the eye?
Shang Chi took a deep, shuddering breath, pushing down another bout of nausea.
A bang on the door.
Bang! Another hit to his side—
Bang! Another punch to the wood—
“Shaun? Are you okay in there?” Katy asked, voice muffled by the door.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” he lied.
“Really? ‘Cause it kinda sounds like you’re throwing up. Sure, that’s really embarrassing, but you can trust that I’ll only make fun of you a little!”
Amazingly, Shang Chi found himself chuckling at Katy’s remarks.
“Shaun? Are you okay? Do you need anything?” Katy’s mom’s voice called out this time.
God bless Katy, his new best friend, and her amazing caring mom.
How many times had he thrown up— from overworking himself, or pain, or fear— and his father hadn’t so much as helped him up?
Shang Chi wanted to cry just from the sheer intensity of how nice they were here.
He wished his sister was here to feel it too.
(He pushed that thought down, though. That was a kind of hurt he couldn’t bear to let himself feel right now.)
Slowly, Shang Chi pushed himself up to his feet, still feeling a little woozy, and flushed the toilet.
He cleaned himself up a little and brushed his hair from his eyes before finally unlocking the door to see Katy and her mom.
Katy stared at him with a concerned look on her face, and her mom held out a glass of water to him. He took the water gratefully, drinking a few sips to wash out his mouth before saying, “I’m good now, really. I just get a little squeamish around blood, sometimes.”
Katy gave him a little side hug, then started laughing. “The moment I saw you running, I thought, oh no, he’s gonna throw up!”
Shang Chi laughed a little with her.
“You missed the end though, but it wasn’t super exciting, they just got married or whatever. You want to watch something else?”
Shang Chi paused for a moment. “How about some Mario Kart?” he suggested instead.
“Ooh, yeah! I just unlocked a new track called Rainbow Road, and trust me, you’re gonna love this.”
As the two worked to turn on and set up the Wii, Katy’s mom brought him a freshly brewed tea that was supposed to help with nausea, and tears prickled to his eyes as he thanked her.
He could do this, he decided.
He could forget his past, and make way for some good people in his life.
He could become Shaun, California high school student, as long as he had Katy by his side.
He could forget Shang Chi, the killer.
(No, he couldn’t.)