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The buzzing. It never stops. People on the streets, allowing their feet to lead them wherever they are needed ,or wanted to go, with fleeting emotions,namely as happiness or nervousness. The cars, lining up a great length, almost twice as long as the Great Wall of China (or at least he thinks so.)
Them, all of them, producing a voice or sound of their own, to eagerly join the cacophony of the ever-dying chorus of the world. This horrid compilation of noises, clawing at his ears, slowly clouding his mind, begging him to mindlessly join them with much more temptation day after day. No, he resists. He doesn’t want to. He wants to be safe, be secured in his little gap he barely afforded to stay.
It’s not like he hates it outside. No, far from it. He enjoys the fresh air blowing to his face, the smell of petrichor when he decides to take a walk around the nearby forest while it’s raining, and especially, the sight of those lilacs he loves to see everytime he passes by the familiar pathway to the lake. They remind him of someone, and he makes sure the lilacs are well-watered. (He even went the extra step to research the ways to grow and take care of lilacs, and he bought seeds to grow them on his backyard.)
He, Shuichi Saihara, enjoys little moments like that, but only when he is alone. When the only thing he has on his person is nothing more than a mini instant camera. He has picked up this photography hobby from god knows where, but it helps him to distract from the usual business of life, from the influence of noises.
Noises. That’s the only thing he hates. The never-ending buzz of the streets, always crowded with various people from across the known world, opening their mouth to do they all do the best of. Talking.
Talking. If it werent for his job, he would stay at his home all day and seal his mouth shut for an eternity. But in order to maintain peace and understanding (to some extent) from people, he has to do it. He can’t stand his own voice as much as he can’t stand others’. It makes him angry, furious, driving him to the brink of madness. But he holds on, he always somehow does. He got used to it to this now-monotone cycle.
Being a private investigator is what he dreamt of becoming all along. His childhood was often colored with the thoughts of being alone in his own Victorian England style detective agency, swinging back and forth on his rocking chair, usually smoking a long pipe. Oh, how naive he was. The typical detective dreams he was fed with, with how much he read mystery novels and rarely used television, to only watch Sherlock movies.
But now he doubts if he is cut out for the work. Sure, he enjoys solving cases and bringing justice on the table with his unmatched observation and intuition skills. But, he gets less and less patient by the everday usual talk with the clients. He almost gets a clear picture of how will the conversation go most of the time. And the noises dont help him either, makes it worse. Eh, he thinks, without this job I’d have nothing to do. Besides, the payment he gets is decent enough for a living.
It’s another rainy Saturday night. After finishing a long day of drowning himself in the paperwork mountains that formed on his agency desk, he decided to call it a day and walked to home in a steady pace. Any other day, you would think he has secret wings that takes him home in 5 minutes, but today, he feels… strangely in peace. And he didnt want to distrupt the peace of his own mind, not when it happens in so rare occasions.
He checks the clock. 8:26 PM. Time seems relatively slow today. But it’s okay. As long as he maintains the peaceful state, that’s what matters to him for now. He grabs a random book from his shelf.
“Piano Book for Adult Beginners” Huh. Now where did that come from, he thinks.He probably ordered it online when he decided to throw a drunken party all by himself, he finally deduces. Eh…. Whatever. This will probably not make so much problem.
.......
........
........
All of a sudden, his serenity was severed by lots of honks from a dozen of cars outside the street. This had to be expected, but yet, he cannot help but feel frustrated. He glances at the clock again.
11:37 PM. Time flies when you’re having fun, eh? He lightly chuckles at that. Although, judging from the book’s content, he knows someone else that would have more fun than him reading it.
But sadly, she no longer resides in this world. He knows it, knows it better than anyone else. And he came to accept that fact, even though the process was too painful and hard. But he moved on from that long time ago.
Still, that left a tinge of sadness on his mind. It’s a hard work to get over someone’s death. But it’s impossible to forget the ones you love. And in his case, forget the one he loved endlessly. He wouldn’t dare forget her. Every now and then, whenever he feels down, he can hear her in his mind. And that would always motivate him to feel better. She still had her effects on him, and he still loved her.
With a swift shake of his head, he decided to not delve deeper into this matter. After all, night was going relatively well compared to the past nights he had this month.There was no need to have a sour mood all of a sudden. She’d not want that anyways.
Even though tomorrow’s a day off, he decided to go to bed early. It’s not that he is an early bird, but rather he had nothing else to do. He still felt a bit tired after today’s work as well, so he decided, nothing a good night’s sleep can’t fix.
And with that, he headed to bed, shut his eyes and tried to clear off his mind from any thoughts. There’s always a tomorrow to look forward to after all, and he learnt that from her as well.
Damn it. It’s hard to get her off the mind, but he did not mind that. At least, she’d help him going to sleep in his mind, that’s what he’d like to imagine. He’d always imagine good things for her, because she never was guilty of anything in the beginning. She was pure, she was kind, she was…
He couldn’t complete his thought.
………
…… . .
………
And suddenly, he was awake again. But this time, he was surrounded by a shroud of darkness. The old familiar darkness was closing on him like walls. He could feel the anxiety rising inside of him. He didnt know what to do. What kind of a dream was that?!
Then.. something unexpected happened.
Something he didnt guess it was coming.
He heard noises.
But they weren’t the usual pollution of car honks nor the people’s running mouths. It was... an instrument. A musical instrument he forgot the sound of, since a long time ago.
It was the sound of... a piano. One of the things he’d love to hear everyday. If it werent for the high price, he’d get one for his mostly hollow living room.
The magnificent enstrument was playing.. a familiar but yet distant tune. He couldn’t quite remember what was the piece’s name was.. he’d have to jog his memory deeper for it.
He didn’t realise it at first but, with every note that dissolved into the air was making the darkness around him melt little by little. The unmistaken precision of the familiar melody was also working its way to his soul. He felt something that was long asleep inside of him awake. An emotion… longing?
Yes.. it was definitely longing. But he didn’t exactly know what he missed so much.
Then slowly, as the notes slowly faded away, something else happened that he didn’t guess again.
He heard talking.
At first, nothing but a mumble that came from a far away distance. But as the source of the voice got closer, and darkness around him also got vanished slowly, he could start to clearly hear and see what’s going on.
The tone of the voice was chirpy and full of childlike excitement, and judging from the pitch of it, the voice belonged to someone… female? He wasn’t sure. He needed to have his vision back for clearance.
There wasn’t much darkness left now, only a little bit more and….
…And…
…He would see who has made him feel this way…
When he regained his complete vision back, the first thing he saw was a girl with a flamboyant ball dress in pinks, complete with a pink masquerade mask, lightly running to his direction while holding on to her skirts.
And now that he’s paying attention, she was yelling something too.
“HEEEY!! Wake up, cloudy head! You missed the whole performance!” She exclaimed with a surly face. Her mouth also had a pouty expression, which made her much more adorable than she already is.
He was literally flabbergasted. How could he… not recognize her? Has it been really that long? How long has it been anyway? But the most important question of all was.. how could she be here?
This woman, filled cap-a-pie with glee, was none other than Kaede Akamatsu. The one he loved so dearly, the one he had dreams of a future with her, the one who lilacs reminded him of her… it was her in the flesh, and she was there, coming towards his way with the best she can do with her high heels.
It took him a good twenty seconds to take all of this information in, and even more so for the emotions receptors to kick in. He didn’t even realise Kaede was already beside him, he was still so confused about this whole situation.
“HEEEEY!! Earth to Sherlock Junior! Are you there? Have you decided to take an eyes open nap?” She asked with fear in her voice. If the term ‘emotional influencer’ could be applied to just one person, she’d be the only fitting candidate to proudly wear that title, because as soon as he realized Kaede was standing there with a worried look on her face, he immediately became alarmed as well.
“K…Kaede… I..I’m sorry! I was probably daydreaming, hehe.”
“Probably? Shuichi, I tried to get your attention since the last two minutes. It cannot be just a simple daydreaming session. Are you alright?”
“Yes, yes. Don’t worry. And I didn’t completely got carried away in my mind as well. I heard your playing. It was really good!”
“Oh! Thank you so much Shuichi, it really means so much to me when it comes from you!” She added with one of her biggest smiles she can manage.
He couldn’t help but feel the heat that rushed to his face and the butterflies in his stomach. She was still the same old Kaede that made him always encouraged and happy. And that’s what he’s been missing all these years. Life is hard to live when there’s no one to stand with you. And he simply wished that it would be her that stood with him, but that dream was ruined long time ago.
Without giving him another chance to utter a word, she grabbed his wrist and started to drag him somewhere. Up until that point, Shuichi didnt actually realize where he was. But now he started to notice…
The place he was inside of was shaped like a triangle, and the architecture was reminding him of the old Medieval Age churches. The pillars, the walls, the ground... everything else but glasses were made of polished stone, and if any light were to reflect on them, they would reflect back with much more brightness.
The windows were circle shaped, and had stained glasses. But in place of the religional figures and events, they had musical notes this time, and every note was glowing in a different color from each other. And right on the roof, a gigantic mosaic of the Moon loomed overhead. It seemed to be shining down on something, or rather reflecting the light on something, something that had sit in the middle of the fascinating structure.
And of course, without a doubt, that something was none other than the magnificent musical enstrument piano itself. It has been polished so well, that it can reflect the light “Moon” shines upon it like it’s starlight.And the casual white tint of the piano has also been accompained by a few pink stripes. It’s fitting for its pianist, he thinks.
The pianist herself was shining like a star as well. She was always this full of life, and that’s what Shuichi misses in his drowningly unchanging life. He needs some excitement, he needs some energy.
He needs her. He wants her back…
Even though he knew this was just a dream, he was sure that this would be a quality time spent.
“There we are! You already know our signature song, so we will begin with that, okay?”
“Ah, yes that is.. good...”
He saw his own reflection on the piano’s polished surface. He was.. younger again. Exactly looking like back when he was forced to play that accursed game of life and death.
It has been.. 12 years since he and his friends were forced to participate in that inhumane work of mad minds’ cooperation. That sorry excuse for a company only brought him pain and sadness. But when he stepped back into the real, concrete world, he made sure to put them down, once and for all. Yet the fiery anger inside of him seemed like still burning bright. He would never forgive them.
But he wasn’t here for that. No.
This time he’s here to reciprocate forhis faults. Or at least he thinks this is the reason why he is here.
This time he will stand with her, and protect her, no matter what kind of an ending awaits him. He owed that to her. She was the only one who stepped up for him, protected him, and everyone else in the process, save for herself. She paid a price, that wasn’t actually hers, with her life. And that was one of the main reasons he would never forgive what Team Danganronpa did.
“Shuichi? You’re spacing out again! What has gotten into your mind lately?” He faintly heard Kaede whine.
“Ah.. Sorry, it’s nothing. I’m prone to these anyways.” He added with a light smile, turning to face her again.
Kaede pouted. “There’s definitely something that has been troubling your mind lately, Shuichi Saihara, and I won’t touch even a single piano key before you spill the truth!” She crossed her arms in attempt to make an angry posture.
Shuichi lightly chuckled at that. “No really, there’s no need to worry Kaede. It’s just I’m surprised of this whole situation. The fact that you’re here in front of me again, is enough to make me dazzled.”
Kaede stationed herself on the piano bench’s right side, and gestured the empty space for Shuichi to sit, and so he did.
“I know you’re being genuine, but I dont feel like you’re telling the whole truth, Shuichi. I saw your face while you were in your mind. There was sorrow in your expression. I don’t want to force you to tell it, but I don’t definitely want you to suffer like this either. So please, if you want to share your burden, I will listen to every word of it. I promise.”
The sincerity in her tone, and the genuinely worried face she had on was enough to convince Shuichi of revealing the truth. He took a long sigh and allowed his mouth do the talking this time.
“The truth is, I’ve started to feel tired after 12 years of avoidance. I didnt even know I had a family back then, nor sure that even there was, they would welcome me back. I’ve been running away from people for 12 years, only interacting when it is necessary. Because.. because I can’t forgive them too. I can’t forgive that they also were supporting this monstrosity that we were willinglessly dragged in. We all suffered, got hurt, doubled over and wept with every ounce of power we had left over, but no one heard our cries for help.
We lost everyone and everything in the process. Maki lost Kaito, Himiko lost Angie and Tenko, and I lost you. Three of us tried to survive by sticking together, but eventually we went our different ways. The wound is still fresh after 12 years, and all I ever tried to do was to put a cover over it. I can’t go on with being oblivious to this fact anymore Kaede. I can’t run away from my own feelings for an eternity. Even now, I feel tired of pretending everything is going to be okay… All I ever wanted was to have a normal life, not this hellish highlights of tragedies I remember every waking moment, and still be silent about it!” He concluded with tears falling down from his eyes like waterfalls.
Next minutes were just silent sobs of him while Kaede was holding him in her arms, gently stroking his hair, and whispering her own words to his ear.
“I understand your pain, Shuichi. The killing game has left every single one of us with unmendable scars. We didn’t want to be victims of this horror, like no one else should be ever again. But the single thing you did wrong was to seal your emotions away in your heart.
You had gone through a living hell that made you feel so many emotions. You don’t need to compress your feelings, Shuichi. It’s okay to cry your heart out as much as you want, believe me. A moment of vulnerability always makes you feel better afterwards.
As for the people, please try to give them another chance. I know it’s much more easy said than done, but you have the option to be the better human being. And, since Danganronpa is gone, you can correct their mistakes by voicing how much you have experienced in that short amount of time. You can always make your voice heard, even if it starts off with small crowds of people who will hear you.
But I believe in you. You can make your voice heard by anyone if you try hard enough. And with time, you can turn even the most convincing lies to the absolute truth. I believe you can do this , I believe in you with all my heart, Shuichi.”
“…But Kaede.. I can’t do it alone. I can’t face the whole world alone. I’m not strong enough. I’m not as strong as you..” He protested with dried tears.
“That’s true. You are stronger. Strength isn’t something measured with physical or mental traits. It’s something that can only be measured with your emotional stability. And you are the most strongest person I’ve ever met, Shuichi. And you’re not alone in this too. You have Maki and Himiko that can always help you out. And I will try my best, you can count on that, eheheh.”
Shuichi slowly raised his head, to meet Kaede in eye to eye level.
“Your help is something irreplaceable for me, Kaede. You really do help me every day to keep moving. And you are still helping me even now. I can’t really describe how much I feel grateful for you because you are the guiding voice in my head.” He added with a broken smile on his face.
Kaede’s blush became more noticably in tune with her dress now. Shuichi cracked a giggle at the sight. And soon, both of them were laughing.
After they regained their breath, Kaede offered to play the piano together, which Shuichi happily accepted.
Together, they began to play their own tune. The tune of their commitment and passion to each other. The tune of their love.
Clair de Lune.
Although Shuichi wasn’t an expert like Kaede, she gladly showed him how to play his part, and he quickly learned to be in tune with her.
And they were literally in sync. Every single high and low note. Every pause in between… it was like they have finally mingled together and created a single body and soul.
This is how it should’ve been in reality. He still feels a bit of sadness over this fact, but he holds on to his heart. He realized he’s not here to suffer for his faults. He’s here to have a peace of mind.
After the song slowly came to an end, they turned to face each other. They’re both satisfied with how things turned out. They had each other for now, they were in peace.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too, darling.”
Their foreheads came to contact first, then their noses, and finally… their lips. That’s all they needed.
They didn’t need long phrases of how much they meant to each other. Because they already knew. Their love was past the little fancy words of admiration. Theirs was the true mutual love, separated lovers finally met. A longing for a decade finally relieved.
And the “Moon” shone upon them. The scene they created could be interpreted as divine.
They gently broke the kiss, and now they were in each other’s arms, looking at their eyes.
The world stopped spinning, and the clock stopped ticking for them.
It was only them in their own world. Eternal and forever.
And it was her who broke the seemingly infinite moment.
“Shuichi. It’s time for me to go. I’m sorry.”
He understood the implications. Of course, this was only a dream.
Even though, he shut his eyes and said “Can’t you stay a little bit longer? I’d love to spend more time with you.”
Kaede smiled. “Me too, love. But you’re waking up soon. I’m afraid this is the end of our time now.”
Shuichi looked into her eyes again, with a cracked smile. “Before I go, I just want to say something. I tried my best to save you that day, I swear. I regret that it wasn’t enough. I only wanted to get out of there with you, to start a new chapter in my life with you. I’m sorry Kaede. Our fates never fully intertwined.”
Kaede gently pressed her index finger to Shuichi’s mouth. “No Shuichi, it wasn’t your fault. I know it so well that you tried your best. I saw you saving everyone time and time again. That’s all I wanted to see. You became confident and brave. And you ended not just the killing game, but the creators of the killing game as well. That’s more than I ever wanted. Thank you Shuichi. Thank you for making my wish more than granted.”
Small tears rolled down on his face, and Kaede wiped them one by one.
“Kaede.. I love you so much. I will never forget you. Ever.”
“Thank you Shuichi. I love you too, so much.”
Shuichi slowly brought Kaede’s face close to his, and kissed her forehead. “Goodbye, sweetheart. I hope we’ll meet again.”
Kaede giggled. “I’m looking forward to it, darling.”
And they looked into each other’s eyes, one last time.
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . .
He opened his eyes.
First thing he felt was a wetness beneath his head.
It must’ve been tears. The tears of joy. The tears of long since bottled up emotions. Tears of humanity inside him.
He was relieved. He felt lighter. He would never conceal his emotions again.
And he would spread the truth of everything to people outside. He was determined.
With a smile on his face, he rose up from his bed. Today will be the beginning of changes in his life.
And somewhere in the afterlife, the spirit of a young pianist girl was smiling too.