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Late nights had become the norm. Although for the Commander, it had always been that way. I knew he thought staying up late into the night was often preferable than sleeping, and dreaming. Though he never said anything, I’d caught him ‘patrolling’ at Haven late at night several times.
But what with the war, moving to Skyhold, attempting to get a foothold with both Orlais and Ferelden, and trying not to starve to death, the list of things had been never ending. I would be glad, as Inquisitor, if I never had to read another report by candlelight. Whenever I was at Skyhold, there were a million things to do and not enough daylight to do them in. I always left the balcony doors open so the cold breeze would keep me awake.
I looked up as the messenger I’d sent off came in. “Did you get a reply?”
“No, uh…” the messenger - Albert - trailed off.
“What is it?” I felt a twinge of anxiety. Had something happened?
“The Commander was asleep - at his desk,” Albert added quickly. “So I left the report on the top of the papers.”
I sighed and glanced out the open door. “He may have the right idea. The midnight bell rang not too long ago. We’ll pick up tomorrow. Though don’t let me catch you sleeping at your desk like the commander.”
“Yes, your Worship. Good night, then.” Albert gave me a small smile, perhaps a knowing one.
Only a few people had seen us kissing on the battlements just a few weeks ago (it still made Cullen blush a little when anyone mentioned it) but somehow the news had got around faster than Sera when pulling pranks. I didn’t particularly like it, but it was inevitable. And the way Leliana and Josephine teased him was quite funny, and I was often rewarded by watching him desperately stutter.
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he’d said, burying his head into my shoulder later.
“I’ll rescue you next time,” I’d said.
I waited a few minutes - putting away the ink, carefully sorting through the reports for tomorrow - before grabbing my lantern and heading out of the tower to Cullen’s office. There were no guards around my quarters, though patrols made their way through Skyhold even into the night. We didn't have the numbers, and in any case I was rarely at Skyhold - always needing to be out in the field.
I crossed the battlements, and entered the office. The candle flickered, and I couldn’t help but smile: Cullen was slumped over, his curls a little mussed. I gently shook him and he sat up quickly.
“Huh? What’s-” He blinked up at me.
“It’s just me,” I said. “I sent you a report and the messenger told me you’d fallen asleep. You should sleep in your bed.”
Cullen swiped a hand over his face. “You didn’t have to come.”
“I know, but I haven’t seen you today,” I replied. “And I’m sick of reading all the memos about Orlesian customs anyway.”
Cullen grimaced. “I’m glad to have escaped most of that, at least.”
Cassandra and Cullen had been given several lectures and warnings, mostly from Josephine, about being careful at the ball in Orlais. Cassandra had looked about as petulant as she must have been when she was a child. Cullen had had his ‘commander’ face on - when he had to listen to someone complain about something he didn’t really care about, yet it was now his problem to deal with.
“Yes,” I said. “Lucky you. Now, come on. You can’t sleep at your desk.”
“Wouldn’t be the first time.” He stood and yawned.
I scowled at him. “Well, I strictly forbid you to do it from now on.”
“What about you,” he said, laughing. “These three weeks is the longest that you’ve been here since we came to Skyhold, and you’re always doing more work.”
I looked up at him and gave him a crooked smile. “Feeling neglected, are you?”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said, suddenly serious. “You need rest, too.”
“Don’t worry about me,” I said, shepherding him towards the ladder. “I know what I’m doing.”
He wasn’t convinced, but he climbed up. I passed him the candle and joined him.
“Are you really alright with staying up here?” I asked. “I know Josie set aside quarters with the rest of us.”
“You don’t like it?”
“Well, half the roof is missing.” I had to suppress a shiver. “What do you do when it rains?”
Cullen placed the candle on the little table he had. “I know. We’ll get it fixed soon.”
“Alright.” We looked at each other for a few moments. “Can I stay?”
“Of course, if you want,” he stammered, suddenly not being able to meet my eyes.
“Are you sure? If you feel uncomfortable…”
Cullen took a deep breath. “Please stay. I’d like that.”
I smiled and nodded. We stripped down to our tunics, and I crawled into the blankets with him. I turned on my side and watched as he stared up at the ceiling. “You’re supposed to sleep.”
“How can I sleep with you staring at me,” he muttered.
I tried not to laugh. “Fine, I’ll close my eyes. Will that help?”
“Probably not.”
Laughing again, I drew closer to him so I could place a hand on his chest. “Is this alright?”
His voice was barely a whisper. “Yes.”
I closed my eyes and snuggled closer. “Good night.”
“‘Night,” Cullen said sleepily.
Sometime during the night, I woke to find Cullen wrapped around me completely, legs entangled with mine and arms pulling into his center. I didn’t even open my eyes, I just covered his hands with one of mine and let sleep pull me under again.
***
I was, by now, used to the ungodly hour at which I had to roll out of bed, or even worse, slip out of the bedroll on an uncomfortable rock. Weeks of sleeping rough, trying to stop everyone who was out to kill me, closing rifts and generally being out in the elements had made me an early riser. But nothing was so bittersweet as waking just before dawn, snuggled next to a warm body. Or as in my case, totally wrapped up in them.
The sun was beginning to rise, already, and I sighed. I was going to make getting that roof fixed a priority. And get some curtains, too.
Cullen had buried his head into my hair and was still holding on tightly. I was beginning to feel a little sticky but it was better than moving out of his embrace - not only because it was a rather chilly morning.
I wriggled around to face him, trying not to disturb him, but his eyes flickered open.
“Morning,” I murmured.
His eyes widened. “G-good morning.”
“Sleep well?” I slid my arms around him, sliding my hands up his back.
“Yes,” he said. “Surprisingly. I rarely sleep through the whole night. You?”
“I slept very well. You’re nice and warm.”
He chuckled. “I aim to please.”
“I should get up soon,” I sighed.
“Stay until it’s daylight proper,” he said.
“Alright, you’ve convinced me.” I paused and then said, “can we do this again tonight?”
He nodded. “I’d like that.”
“And most nights until I have to leave?” I asked, feeling my cheeks heat.
Cullen smiled. “Yes. That will give us almost two weeks of uninterrupted nights together.”
"Don’t tempt the universe by saying ‘uninterrupted’,” I warned. “Otherwise I fear Leliana and Josephine will start making me work nights.”
“Very well, I’ll say nothing more.”
“Good,” I smiled, pressing a soft kiss on his lips.
His own smile faded a little.
“What? Was that not alright?”
“No, no,” he said, shifting up onto his elbow. “It’s just, still doesn’t feel real.”
“You mean us?”
“Yes,” he said. “I mean, I know it’s been a few weeks, but I’ve been dreaming about this for so long.”
I ran a hand through his hair, which was now shining as the sun rose more. I felt my breath catch as he sighed and leaned into my touch. “It’s real,” I murmured.
“You don’t sound convinced, either,” he said, smiling.
“I’m still coming to terms with it.” I tugged his hair and he obediently lowered his head. “Might take some convincing, too.”
He huffed out a soft laugh. “And how would you suggest we do that?”
I didn’t bother answering, but by the time I managed to get dressed and leave, it was well into the morning.