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Two hours until they hit the Omega 4 relay. Charley Shepard had tried everything she could think of to distract herself from all of the horrifying possibilities of what awaited them on the other side. Perhaps the Normandy would just explode the moment they entered the atmosphere. The very thought brought images of her death to her mind, the blackness of space surrounding her, the heat of the Normandy’s fires at her back. The explosion that threw her deeper into the nothingness of space, the hose of her oxygen tank hissing, her last chance at life slowly slipping away.
Closing her eyes, Charley pressed her fists into her eyelids, trying to burn away the images. She didn’t hear the door to her cabin open until Thane was standing before her, pulling her hands away. He reached out and brushed her hair out of her face, meeting her gaze with a worried expression.
“Siha, what’s happened?”
Charley was touched by his concern, not used to having someone care enough to ask. “It’s just- when I died before-” A shiver betrayed her fears and she turned away from him, not entirely sure how to continue.
“You’re afraid to die again?” Thane finished for her, knowing exactly what she felt even without her speaking it. He gently placed his hands on her shoulders. His touch always had a way of calming her. She didn’t know if it was something alien or perhaps it was his love for her that made her feel that way, but whenever she was in his presence, she felt almost peaceful.
Charley nodded, unable to put her fear into words. As a soldier, she’d never been afraid of dying. It was almost guaranteed in her line of work. There would be that one mission, that one battle in a war that she wouldn’t come home from. And she’d accepted that.
But now, with Thane by her side, she couldn’t face it again. She couldn’t lose him… and she was afraid of losing herself.
Her death aboard the Normandy SR-1 haunted her. When she managed to close her eyes to sleep, the orange fires, the cold emptiness of space, the suffocating pressure in her lungs… it would welcome her with open arms as it had on that day. She would wake gasping and any chance of her sleeping again that night was impossible.
The nights that Thane was in bed with her were different.
With his arms around her, his body pressed against hers beneath the sheets, calm would descend over her. She could lay with him for hours and feel happiness for the first time in a very long time. She didn’t want it to end. She didn’t want to die.
Thane turned her so she faced him, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Siha.”
The single word was almost a plea and she finally raised her gaze to his, finding understanding where she expected pity. She shouldn’t have expected anything different, she knew that, but Charley was so used to being the strong one. She was the person others relied on to get things done. But when it came to vulnerability, Charley Shepard wasn’t the type to seek out help for herself.
But here was Thane, holding her together with only his eyes. She hadn’t realized how much doubt she’d been hiding until she was alone and it all came crashing down on her. She was so used to losing everything that the thought of having something to hold onto, to have someone to come back to once the battle was over… it was overwhelming.
“All my life, I wanted a home. After Mindoir was destroyed, it was the only thing that kept me going. One day, I swore I would find the place I belonged. I didn’t know that it wasn’t a place I needed.” Charley wrapped her arms around Thane’s middle, resting her head against his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat. She couldn’t imagine a moment without him at her side and prayed silently that she wouldn’t have to. “You’ve become more than just important to me, Thane. You are my home.”
He was silent, arms holding her close. He pressed soft kisses into her hair, his hands stroking the length of her back. When he finally spoke, his words were everything she needed to hear in that moment. “Siha, you’ve become more than a home to me. You’ve changed me in ways I never expected. I am excited for the future. I am talking to my son again. Without you, I’m not sure what would’ve become of me.”
Charley’s grip tightened on his waist and she buried her face in his chest to try to keep herself under control.
“I love you, Charley.”
Thane had never called her by her first name before. Surprised, she glanced up, the love he had for her obvious as he watched her reaction. Love wasn’t a word she often associated with the people she knew, but with Thane, it was like a blinking sign that wouldn’t go off. Charley reached for him at the same time he did for her. Their lips met in a feverish kiss, their desire and their feelings unable to deny them this comfort any longer. Thane lifted her into his arms, easily doing so despite their similarity in height. Charley’s strong legs wrapped around his waist as he carried her toward the bed.
Charley broke the kiss momentarily, yet still close enough that she could feel his hot breath caress her lips. “I love you too.”
A smile curled his lips. “Nothing can willingly tear me from your side, Siha. I am with you until the end.”
They collapsed into the sheets, lost in their love and desire for one another as the Normandy moved ever closer to their destination.