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evening stars are shining, quietly enjoying the scene that beautifully unfolds underneath them.
on the top of one cheap apartment block in the suburbs of seoul, a secret place only yedam and his friends know一their own hideout/headquarters/second home一genuine laughs merge with the sound of the speaker playing yoshi’s playlist. the twelve young men are comfortably seated around the outside table, sipping on their drinks and joking around with each other. as though nothing else in the world matters ; as though only they exist. they would never trade this for anything.
school has finally ended for everybody and they all plan on not wasting a second of what can be the best summer of their lives. life-sucking exams and homophobic teachers and hyprocitical popular jocks are past them and very long forgotten. they’re in their own bubble, delighted as ever.
the oldest of the group, hyunsuk, has been lost in the admiration of the younger ones doing their thing with an endeared smile for the past two or three minutes and when he comes back to his senses because jihoon poked his side with a giggle, he stands up off his chair and raises a toast. “to us”, he says, his voice holding so many memories. then jihoon stands up too, “i guess this is the time when we are emotional so, to us. i love you guys”. and even if he wanted to make it sound like a sort of joke, the thankfulness when he spoke was clear. he clinks his glass with hyunsuk’s一it doesn’t make any sound, because they’re plastic, but the feeling’s there.
and only the split of a second passes before chaos. there’s junkyu jumping off of his seat, jeongwoo and junghwan following him ; there’s jaehyuk riding on yoshi’s back and the latter running around the table while screaming his lungs out because doyoung chases them ; there’s haruto and asahi robot-dancing on the side ; there’s hyunsuk and jihoon eating each other’s faces and there’s yedam and mashiho just hugging tightly before sitting down and waiting for everyone to actually clink glasses with one another. and when it finally happens, drinks get mixed and they’re cheering and shouting with all their might because that’s how twenty year-olds express their happiness. a bunch of friendly ‘i love you’s can be heard as well.
the adrenaline of the moment dies down slowly and, one by one, they sit themselves with a happy soul and a happy heart. the air is cool and it calms their excited minds.
“never have i ever…” after taking a gulp of his cola, haruto’s words are slurred. “drank jaehyuk’s banana milk despite the fact that he wrote his name in red caps on it”, and there’s a mischievous smile on his lips as he concludes his sentence.
everyone goes along with the game, because of course they do. and before jaehyuk can say a word to protest一banana milk is precious a and a treasure to this world一jeongwoo, asahi and haruto have already finished their glasses up to the bottom. a vague feeling of betrayal takes place in the banana milk lover’s heart because he simply can’t believe his best friend could do such a crime, he’s even covered for the babies !
but he doesn’t say all of this. he settles for something shorter, clearer, “i hate you all”. and they know he’ll stop being mad in a minute so they only laugh at him while mashiho fills their glasses up with some pink beverage that they know is way too sugary for their health in the meantime.
yoshi then shyly raises his arm, all twenty-two eyes turning to him. he stutters because the way he got everyone’s attention in a flash is quite funny to him, and then, voice sweet as ever, he suggests, "never have i ever took a roommate's clothes and, when they asked where it was, i said i didn't know". he smiles softly, making the rest of the boys smile too in spite of the fact that his question could create a war.
with a slight smirk on the lips, jihoon elbows his boyfriend’s side, "come on, drink up". hyunsuk is not ashamed in the slightest but, he still wishes he could deny it, only because jihoon takes too much pleasure in teasing him and he wants to tease back. but the evidence is too obvious as he clearly is wearing jihoon's purple hoodie, so maybe another time, he thinks. and as he reaches for his glass, he notices asahi reaching for his too. "who's ?" he asks, without much thought.
"haruto's sweaters, they're comfortable" asahi shrugs, as if it's no big deal, and it really is. yedam wanted the butterflies in his stomach at the mental sight of asahi wearing haruto’s clothes because he knows he’d be so cute but he can’t help the odd feeling of jealousy bubbling inside him instead. and he shouldn’t feel it, he tells himself, because haruto has been asahi’s partner in crime since day one and still counting. but the uncomfortable emotion only grows bigger, in a way that yedam despises.
he shifts uneasily on his chair, trying to think about anything but the robot boy who's being so pretty right on the other side of the table. junkyu, who’s seated beside him, sees the change of his younger friend’s behaviour and一bless his soul一asks him discreetly if he’s okay. yedam only nods. what a lie.
he's everything but okay, but he thinks there is no need to alarm his friends. they're here to have a good time, after all. worrying about a poor boy who's too much of a coward to confess to the person he likes is the last thing he’d want everyone to do. always the confident person, yedam is anything but confident when it comes to his crush and he really downgrades himself for that, regardless of jihoon’s words to him that one night, “you’re worth it, darling, take your time”.
a finger snap, and yedam thanks the heavens for whoever just changed the flow of his thoughts because his overthinking got him feeling like throwing up. he looks up, and oh how much he wishes he didn’t. he sees the look in doyoung’s eyes, that look he knows too well. it means nothing good, he’s been by his best friend’s side long enough to be sure of that. doyoung's got something in mind, and yedam knows by his twinkling eyes that doyoung thinks it’s the idea of the century. wait and see, they say, though yedam is positive, he doesn’t want to see it.
and what the red-haired boy says confirms his theory. because his chest puffed and confident as always, doyoung grins brightly, "never have i ever had a crush on someone who's around this table". he created a chaos of emotions in everyone’s head and heart and by the looks of it, he did know what he was doing. yedam would slap away this fake-innocent smile if he didn't love his best friend that much.
it's as if time has stopped, when each one of the boys finally assimilated doyoung's words. some of them are embarrassed, cheeks tinted the softest pink. some others are surprised, because who knew sweetheart doyoung could do such a thing ? of course they knew, doyoung has always been a flirt and a tease, but they want to believe he didn’t do what he just did. it's almost laughable how they're all frozen in their place, acting like it’s the most horrible thing that has happened to them in their twenty or so years of lifetime. spoiler alert : it really isn’t.
it's mashiho who breaks the heavy silence, his tone comforting as ever, "don't stress about it too much guys, we don't have to give a name". he offers a small smile and tensed shoulders relax and itchy palms disappear, mashi effect. he knows doyoung will disagree with him, but he really wants his friends to be comfortable in what they tell each other or not. he hits doyoung's thigh for him to not say anything but the redhead, even though he understood the message, doesn’t listen and opens his mouth to say yet another word to emphasize his point. but then, mashiho takes a sip of his drink, and oh, that shut doyoung up for good.
yedam giggles silently, because karma struck his best friend like a tidal wave. the teaser gets teased, much to yedam’s joy. he almost forgets that he himself has a crush and that he has to drink just like mashiho did. but he doesn’t, telling his heart to worry about it a bit later.
he watches his best friend taking a gulp of whatever is in his glass, downing it so fast that yedam thinks it might give him a headache later. he notices doyoung’s hopeful eyes when looking at mashiho, waiting for any type of answer. and with a fond smile and his voice laced with so much affection, mashiho answers before doyoung can actually ask, “yes, it’s you. it always has been you”. pure, genuine joy can be read on the younger’s face as he hears the words. “it always has been you too”, he says as he hugs mashiho happily.
"no wonder why the teachers thought these two were dating ever since mashi set foot in korea, i mean, it was obvious except for them two” jihoon laughs, and they all agree. then, he downs almost all of his cherry cola and it’s no big surprise who his crush is. it’s not even a crush anymore, it’s true love, but he plays along. he gives his boyfriend a shameless wink, not slightly embarrassed about it and the latter一used to all of this teasing, yet still took by surprise一chokes on his drink and curses jihoon when he stops coughing. hyunsuk is jihoon’s and jihoon is hyunsuk’s, there are no reasons left to hide it. yedam looks at them and thinks that if this is love, then he wants it.
he loses himself in his mind for a bit, imagining his future with a certain white haired boy and wondering if one day they could love each other as much as their oldest brothers do. his thoughts are interrupted by a surprisingly not-so-hyper junkyu, “you and i are written in the stars, my dear yoshi”. he states it as if it’s the simplest, most normal thing to say. but yedam knows better, he sees how junkyu’s leg keeps on bouncing due to stress. junkyu might’ve seen this as the perfect opportunity to confess, so he took it, but it doesn’t mean he was fully confident in doing it now. though the soft blush on yoshi’s cheeks as well as the glasses in both their hands tell there’s no room for misunderstanding. they’ll be happy.
yedam smiles unknowingly at the sight of a shy yoshi and an equally shy junkyu holding hands. and then, "cheesy". it’s jeongwoo who says it, comfortably seated on jaehyuk’s lap and always one to tease junkyu. haruto is quick to reply though, defending his favorite older brother (and if he can make fun of his best friend at the same time, then he killed two birds with one stone), "says the one who added a straw in jaehyuk's banana milk so they could drink it together". jeongwoo’s ears turn red, but he rolls his eyes, "whatever". jaehyuk holds back a giggle because one, jeongwoo is cute, and two, haruto is right and he doesn’t want to hurt jeongwoo’s feelings by putting himself on haruto’s side.
“how are these two not married yet ?” yedam asks hyunsuk, who just shrugs, a big smile on his face. and yedam chuckles because damn, he just realized that he’d never want to be anywhere but here, enjoying the night with his friends. his heart tells him he’d also very much want to be in asahi’s arms but yedam tells it to shut up. he tries to find a distraction and the gods must have heard him because he catches haruto glancing at junghwan before emptying his glass. and if he sees junghwan doing just the same, then he is nice enough to not voice it. he hopes for the younger ones to discover everything together, whether it’s love or not, and to take their time doing so. they still have their life before them, so no need to rush.
it’s when he snaps out of his sort of contemplation that he understands that he, though, has to rush. it’ll seem suspicious if he drinks after everyone else because why wait, it’s not like he isn’t proud of having a crush neither that he’s not confident enough to tell everyone that he has one. it’s just that he thinks it’ll be safer for his heart if he keeps the secret a little longer.
and so he reaches for his glass. it’s full of a dubious liquid that he prefers not knowing the origin of, must be a kind of mix of beverages that one of the babies tried and found disgusting so they put it in here. however, he doesn’t mind that and he takes it to his lips, his head held low despite the fact that no one’s looking at him. they’re all too caught up in their own worlds, newfound loves and long lasting loves and not yet acted up on loves. well, love must be a really cool thing if it makes you forget that people around you exist, yedam thinks as he finishes his drink.
he lets out a breath, the tiredness somewhat fucking up with his head. he goes to take the bottle of cherry cola to fill his glass up again, because one more drink full of sugar is what he needs. only if he listens to himself, that is. but someone seems to have the same plan as him, fortunately or unfortunately he doesn’t know. he feels fingers brushing the top of his hand and he pulls it back rapidly. he’d look up and tell them to have it first but, that’s apparently not what fate has held for him. instead he looks up, and locks eyes with asahi.
he stares, his mind going blank for a second. and his senses come back to him like a blow in the face, accompanied by the realization that asahi is the only one, except him, who didn’t drink for this question. and if he solves the equation logically一which might be a little complicated considering the unhealthy amount of sugar that got to his head, but he manages, somehow一he’s the only one remaining who asahi could have a crush on, right ? this sudden discovery he’s not so sure yet about, intertwined with his more-than-confused thoughts equals in a dazed-minded yedam on the verge of tears.
the overall confusion-slash-excitement of the situation is too much for him, he doesn’t like when he doesn’t understand his feelings. and he must’ve been lost in his mind for a little while because when he comes back to himself, he sees the white haired boy chuckling. he thinks he must have looked stupid but, if it meant making asahi laugh then he doesn’t mind. “cute”, he reads on the boy's lips, not that he’s been staring at them or anything. he unconsciously smiles, though remembers way too quickly that it’s probably what his heart wanted him to see and not reality.
oh how much he wishes he saw reality.
then, asahi stands up from his chair, “gotta use the bathroom”, he says. he glances at yedam one last time, sparkles in his eyes, and walks slowly towards the building. “follow him”, yedam’s heart says. “you don’t want to look any more stupid, don’t”, the overthinker in his head says. he looks at jihoon, his guardian angel, in mild panic. “should i ?”, he asks, and it doesn’t take a second before jihoon understands what’s happening.
ever true to himself, jihoon laughs gently at his younger friend’s alarmed state. though he decides not to torture the poor boy for too long and gives him the answer that, yes, he should. yedam thinks jihoon might know things he doesn’t yet, given that he’s everyone’s confidant, so he trusts his word. yedam offers him a genuine smile ; his heart is beating fast and there’s an unfamiliar yet soothing feeling that flows through his veins. he sticks his palms together, thanking jihoon a million times as his body is already attracted back to where asahi is.
yedam doesn’t know what to expect, but he’s looking forward to this talk with asahi. he pushes the stress aside, decided to enjoy every moment with him. who knows, maybe he’ll leave the party with a boyfriend…
it’s completely out of breath that he enters the building. asahi is leaning against the wall, looking utterly magical. it’s crazy how much of a fairy he looks like, despite the robot-boy image that has been imprinted on him. asahi smiles, a small smile, when he catches sight of yedam. the latter can read the nervousness in it ; though it feels reassuring, in a way, to not be the only one who’s nervous. asahi gestures to him to come closer.
yedam doesn’t waste a moment, he walks shyly to asahi. his heart starts beating quicker and louder in his chest, so much, that he wonders if asahi can hear it too. and when he finds himself right in front of the boy of his dreams, it’s as if his breath has been taken away from him. every aspect of asahi proves that he is, indeed, a fairy. yedam rocks on his feet because he’s not quite sure how to start the conversation. it’s not everyday that you talk about your feelings with the one you like, especially when you’re not already in a healthy relationship.
“look,” it’s asahi who speaks first, and yedam is thankful because he could’ve never brought himself to do it. “we don’t have to stress about anything, okay ? we’ve been friends for years now, so we don’t have to be afraid to say the things we want to say. and wherever this,” he motions between yedam and himself, “is going, it’s going to be alright, okay ?”
yedam smiles, knowing that asahi tries to reassure him but deep down mostly tries to reassure himself. “never doubted it”, he whispers, and asahi breaks into the loveliest smile yedam has ever seen. they don’t say a word after that, just staring into each other’s eyes until asahi falls into a fit of giggles. yedam is surprised, but asahi’s laugh is infectious and so damn cute that it doesn’t take half a second for him to join him.
and a few moments later, when their laughter dies down, it’s as if the awkward atmosphere has never been there. “so,” asahi breathes in and cracks up a smile as he exhales, “i have a crush on you, and i believe you have a crush on me too given that you followed me here”. yedam chuckles, “yes i do, very very much”. after a second or two of silence, he then tilts his head to the side, “so, what’s happening now ?”
a slight smirk appears on asahi’s lips, “wanna make out ?”
eyes wide open and mouth stuttering voiceless words, yedam’s expression is priceless at the assimilation of the words. asahi falls into another fit of giggles, but this time yedam is too surprised to come along with it. how to break your soon to be boyfriend, a guide by hamada asahi. 1,2k of copies sold.
the white haired boy wipes a tear, “you’re so cute”. the smile never leaving his face, asahi stares at yedam as he gets a grip on himself. and once yedam is fully back with him, he simply says because he doesn't have anything to be scared to say anymore, “let me take you on a date, yeah ?”
and yedam doesn't wait a second to nod, so rapidly that it might break his neck but that’s the least of his worries right now. the hamada asahi just asked him on a date, it feels so surreal. sure, if the doyoung-situation didn’t happen, he would have taken the matter in his own hands and confessed sooner or later but, he’ll have to thank his best friend for the beautiful occasion and the future boyfriend.
asahi chuckles because yedam is adorable and he just can’t believe he’ll be soon able to call him his. his eyes find yedam’s and oh, the sky must rain because it’s sad that all the stars decided to find refuge in there and not up where they belong—though asahi knows they belong in yedam’s eyes. they are sparkling. he thinks yedam is an angelic being, because there’s no way a mere human can be so perfect.
and in a kind of love induced trance, his mind bubbling with rainbows and heart shaped confettis and fairy glitter dust, he holds his hand out to yedam, “shall we ?”
yedam takes the cold hand in his, in hope to be the warmth that asahi needs. “yes, we shall” he answers, voice almost inaudible, with a fond smile adorning his lips.
they have no distinct idea of where they’re going but they know they’re going together. these two hands holding each other not quite perfectly, keep a promise of forever.