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Seoho was biting his nails as he tapped his feet over and over on the fountain he was sitting on. It was noon so the sun was lighting up everything around. His skin felt hot and wet at the same time. He turn around and not noticing anything I look at his cell phone, no notification.
He enter his mailbox and look at the last message he had sent. Had he probably exaggerated? He shouldn't have listened to Dongju, although the younger one was worried about him and in a way he was right, he shouldn't have listened to him. He wanted to take on a brave character and would probably now be left with nothing, although to tell the truth it's not like he could lose something that wasn't his in the first place. He sighed when see the profile picture.
His usual dilemma, Lee Keonhee.
Lee Keonhee was a boy two years his junior, they didn't share the same university building because the boy studied medicine and he studied economics. They had met almost by chance the day Dongju invited him to hang out with a group of guys at the bar where the event would be held at the welcome party. That day, although everyone drank and ended up drunk, Keonhee and Seoho were the exception. As one of them tripped and spilled his drink on Lee Keonhee, Seoho came to his rescue and offered him his shirt instead. Keonhee thanked him and then they began to talk, they had some things in common and others were very different, they continued looking around laughing at what alcohol did to people. Together they discovered that not drinking at a party like that let them know a lot about their classmates.
Seoho accompanied Keonhee to his room, the boy had a room just for him. He requested it that way because he didn't want to disturb anyone because normally every day he used to study until very late. Keonhee didn't let him go, he told him he'd give him his shirt so he let him in. Seoho waited for the boy in the room, looked around and could only see medical books and many small notebooks where he wrote down important details such as the steps of a cardiac action potential.
Lee Keonhee came back still with his shirt on, only this time it was only the shirt that he was wearing. He will never forget how his throat went dry and he felt his face go numb.
"You have two options, I give you your shirt and you go or ... you take me off your shirt and you... cum with me."
He wasn't his ideal type but seeing him that way made him lose his sanity, grab his waist, bring his lips together and stay that night with Lee Keonhee in the dark with soft music in the background, both sweating and panting heavily surrounded by medical books.
The next day Lee Keonhee wasn't there, he was late for his first class and spent several days trying to find a boy who wouldn't show up again until he wanted to show up. In a private cubicle in the library, the boy walked in and locked the door. Seoho wanted to know something about what had happened but didn't have time because Lee Keonhee was a person with enough confidence to start kissing him without saying a word. Seoho forgot everything, his mind was occupied only with taking the boy's thighs and sticking them to his waist, making sure that his grip between the wall and his body was safe for the one who was the owner of his last thoughts every night since the day of the welcome party.
That was his routine. Keonhee would show up whenever he wanted to, sometimes they would exchange a few words and they would always end up saying “goodbye” after having sex.
Dongju told him that they should know more about him, Seoho didn't want to inquire so much but convinced by his friend they went to the medical school to find out about his fleeting crush.
Lee Keonhee was the model student, there was no one who didn't know him, didn't admire him and didn't want to be close to him. He was also someone known for flirting with girls who approached him, nobody had said something about him having sex with women, but part of him knew it was best not to find out about it.
So Seoho was the one who hid from Lee Keonhee and it worked for a while, but one night the boy came to his room. He looked tired, told him that he had had a difficult day and that he needed to speak to someone who wouldn't judge him. He talk to him about how he performed poorly in his practical exams, about how he felt ashamed with his classmates because his theory exams were perfect. That night there was no sex, instead they got to know each other better.
Lee Keonhee started eating with him, people started to know that they were friends, everyone took him as two people starting to get to know each other and nothing else, everyone except Dongju, who couldn't help but say hurtful comments about the initial behavior that he had medical student had had with his friend.
It was hard for Seoho to forget that the boy who laughed until his stomach ached and called him "hyung" was the same boy who had trembled under his body countless times in the beginning. He wondered if the boy didn't think of him in the same way, if he didn't feel his blood boil every time someone showed too much interest in him. He liked Lee Keonhee, and he wasn't sure if he could still pretend to want to be just his friend.
So he try, he tried to be Lee Keonhee's economics friend, the friend who agreed to go out with a friend of his from medical school. That afternoon he spent a good time with a sweet girl who made him laugh and with whom he had in common the pleasure of reading webtoons.
Returning to his room, he found Lee Keonhee waiting for him. Told him he had to tell him something, Seoho sat down at his desk. Lee Keonhee paced his room while complaining about his classmates who hadn't worked on a group assignment. Suddenly, while talking about how they were unable to explain the different movements of the muscles of the body, he began to take off his clothes. His speech about how he had failed a test because of third parties turned into him complaining about the girl he had dated. The boy begged her to kiss him and make love to him, Seoho ended up giving in because Lee Keonhee's kisses were his weakness.
Seeing him below him with his eyes staring at each other discovered that this is probably the real Lee Keonhee, the one who complained about everyone, about himself, who lived burdened by the fact that his medical career drove him crazy, who enjoyed rough sex and moaned without inhibition. Only he is the one who saw him undress like this, not only physically but also from the soul. He holding his hands with the boy's above his head, the feeling of the grip of his hands tightening was what made them come.
“The night we met I knew you are a freak like me. So I couldn't let you go and give up on spending one night with you. You drive me crazy but you also relieve me, I like to feel you close. But ... No one can know. Everything is so difficult for me if we also add this I ... "
"We can work this something out."
"Seoho are you crazy? Are you okay with everyone knowing? "
"The world already knows that I'm bisexual."
"Well I guess it's easier for you then."
"Do you like me?"
"Seoho ..."
"Answer me."
"I like you but…"
"Sometimes I think you just take advantage of me, it's like you cheat on me."
"And you don't take advantage of me?"
"No. I love to see you when take it off when you are with me. "
"Is the same as…"
"No. I mean, I love that it's you when you're with me. You live as if you are underwater holding your breath all the time and you only breathe when you are with me. Be brave and take it off. This is you, when you do it… I'll be with you. " Seoho held his fingers. “I'll take your hand and walk with you. If it is difficult I'll help you. "
"Everybody will treat me differently ..."
"And you can show them that even then you are worth much more." Keonhee sighed and released his hand, got up, dressed, and left the room.
Seoho sighed and swallowed the tears that wanted to come out, he called Dongju and he burned his sheets. He told him that Lee Keonhee needed an ultimatum, to give him 7 days to think about it and be brave, that on the eighth day he would wait for him at the fountain of the university center and that if he didnt arrive he would erase his existence from his memory. So that's what he wrote, that and other strong words that Dongju added.
He bit his lips after seeing that two hours had already passed. He would soon have a class, so he was at the crossroads of continuing to wait for something that probably wouldn't come or going to a class that he hated trying to occupy his mind so as not to cry.
He took his things, put his cell phone and walked to his building. He was concentrating on breathing that when someone took his hand he felt his heart stop.
"Where are you going?" A trembling voice told him.
"To my class?"
"I ... I'm terrified, I'm terrified of everything. But, after thinking about it I realized that there would probably be nothing more terrifying than living looking at you from afar or hearing you go out with someone else. That night ... I didn't just want to sleep with you, I wanted to to meet you but I tried to convince myself so many times that it was just sex and that's it, then we got close and I found out that you're amazing. I couldn't let you go. " The boy had red cheeks, his circular glasses were foggy because he had surely run up to him to get to him. He looked at his hands, he was holding them tightly because he did not stop shaking, so he took one between his own.
"Take it easy. It certainly won't be easy for you. You will have to be strong and have more confidence in yourself. But you will be with me, so we will be fine."
"Really? Because I feel like I'm going to throw up…"
"Well then let's go to the infirmary ..." Seoho still with their holding hands pulled the boy.
"What? Now? Do you want us to walk across campus like this?" Keonhee raised their linked hands.
"Why not? It's better to get things done early." The medical student looked down. "Everything will be fine, this is you going to a new stage in your life. One where it can be you. It will be worth it, trust me."
"I feel like I will fall."
"I'm holding your hand, I'm not going to let you go." Keonhee nodded and they started walking.
As he felt his forehead moisten with nerves, he looked to the right and the image of him holding Lee Seoho's hand seemed incredible to him. He felt that this is how it should be, how it should have been from the beginning. He felt that it probably didn't matter if he had to prove now more than ever that he was the best, as long as he could hold the hand of that guy from the bar everything would be fine.
...