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“Hey my love,” were the words that stained the paper. Courtney had sworn she had thrown away the letter about a month ago. Or maybe two. She had trouble remembering exactly, despite having what people might call a photographic memory. What she did remember though was heather. God, how could she could forget Heather.
‘I keep thinking that you’re standing on my floor.’
———-
“Are we going now?” Heather asked Courtney as she struggled to get her shoes on. “Yeah, just a minute…” Courtney said still trying to get the other one on. Heather sighed. “Just let me get it.” As much as Courtney insisted she could do it her self, she eventually gave in and let Heather slide the shoe on her foot. “There now for the other one…”
———-
Courtney groaned. Why couldn’t she just forget about the past? She had promised zoey to meet her at a local bar that had recently opened and didn’t want to ruin her night. She placed the letter on her kitchen counter and went into her bedroom to obtain her purse. Courtney then noticed the small glass bottle of perfume Heather had left for her. She hadn’t used it.
‘You’ve walked out a hundred times’.
———-
The soft creaking filled the small apartment bedroom. Courtney woke up, her hair a mess and still in her bra and sweatpants from last night. Heather had put her tank top and miniskirt back on and was heading out the door. “Leaving so soon?” Courtney asked, she was lucky Heather even heard her as it was more of a mumble. “Yeah, I’ll meet you tonight though.” Heather smiled and excited the room. Courtney sighed but grinned. Heather always left after their nights together. But it was worth it as she could go with heather to all the expensive places they went too. She always made Courtney question where they were going next. Maybe to a museum? Or a restaurant? Maybe just a picnic under the stars? It didn’t matter. Courtney didn’t know but was still excited to those places and made her self look great. Heather was the only person she didn’t feel the need to plan for. And she loved it.
————-
She picked up the bottle and examined it. Maybe it was time to use it? It wasn’t heathers fault for everything, And it was time for both to move on. Plus it was a gift and it was disrespectful to not accept a gift. She reluctantly sprayed herself. Courtney took a glance at the label.
“Roses and vanilla.” It said. It was both there favourite. It reminded them of delicious cherry pastry’s and vanilla batter. Courtney lived in a rather small town before moving to Vancouver so she always felt at home when she smelled it. It reminded her of the cakes her mom would bring home after work. Heather never got that feeling as her parents were rich and made her live in large neighbourhood full of snobby wealthy folk, But she liked to think about what it would be like to be living there with Courtney, together, with no worries or cares in the world.
Courtney put the perfume bottle down and got her purse. She heard the honking of zoey’s car outside her home and walked out the door, rushing through the stairs to the sidewalk.
‘How was I supposed to know that this time you wouldn’t come? That you wouldn’t come home.’
———
They both had agreed to meet at a local cafe downtown. Afterwards both would take a quiet stroll through the park and finally, heather would take her to a drive-in theatre to watch a movie Courtney had been bugging about that whole month. Courtney had been so excited. Heather had too. So why wasn’t she here? Why wasn’t Heather sitting across from her sharing a coffee and chatting? Why wasn’t she looking out the window, admiring the evening sky with her? Not-so-long story short, She hadn’t come. “Would you like some more coffee ma’am?” One of the waiters asked her. “No, I’m alright.” Courtney said, looking down at her phone. Heather hadn’t even answered her texts asking where she was. “Would you like me to throw away the second coffee you saved?” The waiter asked. Courtney darted her eyes over to the cup fo coffee she had ordered for heather. “Yes please, I’ll actually be leaving now.” She said before leaving. She waited in the park. No sign of heather. She tired to call her. No sign of heather. Courtney saw the movie by her self and later went to a sketchy club for no apparent reason at all. Maybe out of spite. Maybe out of misery. Maybe out of rage. She didn’t come home that night.
———
She got to the bar with zoey who had brought another one of their friends, Gwen. As they walked in, Courtney caught a glimpse of the bar name. Talia bar. What a beautiful name for a bar, Charming even.
They walked through the door and to a table and sat with three guys.
One guy was Trent, a guy Gwen had met at a album record shop and had gotten along with pretty well, they went on a couple dates and hit it off. He had jet black hair and green eyes, and wore a shirt with Camo sleeves and a black Hand print in the center. Courtney thought his fashion taste was quite lazy, even slobbish or tacky, but never said anything to Gwen.
Then there was mike, zoey’s boyfriend of three years. Nothing much to say about him.
Then, there as Cody. Zoey and Gwen thought it would be a fun idea for a double date, but forgot Courtney was coming with them for their original plans. Because they didn’t want to make her feel left out, they decided to hook her up with a random guy from Gwen’s workplace. They hadn’t talked at all and Courtney was confused how they’d even get along but she came anyway for drinks. “Hey guys, this is Courtney, the Freind i told you about.” Zoey said. Courtney waved awkwardly. She was always used to introducing people and not having to worry about opening up to compete strangers. She didn’t know any of these guys. She only talked to mike once, Trent had only been mentioned to her, and all she knew about Cody was his appearance and name. It was the worst place to be for her right now.
Gwen looked at both Cody and Courtney. “You guys should go to the bar, get to know each other and buy drinks.” Courtney rolled her eyes and followed Cody to the bar. He bought her a white wine and himself a shot of whiskey.
“Just one single shot of whisky? How light weight do you have to be?” Courtney asked. Cody chucked. “I like to start slow, so I can help the ladies get home.”
“You must gets a lot of girls then.” Courtney said sarcastically, rolling her eyes to get the hint across. Cody nodded. “Yeah, you could say that.”
Apparently “starting out slow” wasn’t enough to stop Cody from getting completely wasted. He had gotten down four shots before laughing like a maniac and having trouble staying in his barstool. Courtney was light weight too, but knew to watch her alcohol dosage, since why she had just finished only her drink of wine. She knew she had to get a taxi or Uber because all the others were drunk too. Courtney thought what Heather would say if she were here.
“This place is stupid, wanna go somewhere better?” She pushed down the thought. She needed to get over Heather. But it was so hard when her favourite song was blaring through the stereo. She looked over to see the Dance floor, she could see heather dancing her heart out, begging Courtney to join her. She wanted to leave, But she needed to make sure her friends didn’t get in a car crash driving home.
She needed Heather, she needed heather more than ever.
“Need more drinks?” The bartender asked her. Courtney was about to say no, but she couldn’t. “If I drink enough, I can taste your lipstick.” She sighed. “Yes please, one glass of tequila.” The bartender nodded and went to go make it for her. Courtney knew if she got drunk enough she could convince herself Heather was there. she knew it would be all in her head, she wouldn’t see Heather again. But it was worth a try.
‘When you left, you took my best friends away and in this mess.’
———-
Courtney sniffled on the couch as Zoey rubbed her back and Gwen poured her another glass of wine. “I’m really sorry about this Courtney, we all know you cared about her.” Zoey said. “It’s fine, I knew it wasn’t gonna last.”
“You know it wasn’t your fault her parents wanted you guys to break up, it could’ve happened to anybody…who is rich and has access to plane tickets to Chicago.” Gwen said. Courtney chucked at gwens poor attempts of comforting. Thanks guys, you know you didn’t have to do this.”
“Of course we do, we’re your friends.”
She sipped her drink slowly, but still gagged at the taste. Why did tequila have to be so bitter? She sucked it up and drank it all in one big gulp. It wasn’t the best idea, as she immediately needed to Throw up after. She ran to the bathroom and vomited in one of the toilets.
When she came out after cleaning her self up, she looked at the bulletin board at the centre of both bathrooms. There was a poster that caught her eye. It was heather. She rubbed her eyes and blinked extra hard to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. But it was real. “I guess she got that modelling contract her parents wanted her to get for so long.” She looked so happy on that cover. Happier than she’s ever seen before. She took the poster of the wall. She was happy for her
‘I dug a thousand graves Talia, I hope your happy anyway’
————-
“We can’t do this anymore.” Heather said. They were at the restaurant heather had always promised to take her on the weekends, the place they had their first date, and Courtney’s new favourite restaurant, and now heather was breaking up with Courtney. “W-what?”
“We can’t do this anymore… this relationship, my parents… want me to move with them to the USA, in Chicago.” Heather said, her head hung low. “Why can’t we date anymore? We can just go long distance!”
“They don’t want me to date women, saying how a women needs a man to make her happy, they want me to date this guy named Derek instead, I don’t even know anything about him. They want to sign me up for modleing and get me and Derek my own apartment. I tried to tell them I’m a grown women and can make my own decisions but they wouldn’t listen and already had the tickets, I want to be with you Courtney, I really do. But I can’t…”
a honk was heard outside the window. “My family is here. We’re gonna get my stuff and then get on the plane.” Courtney let all the tears flow down her cheeks and onto the seat below her. Heather stood up. “I’m afraid this will be the last time I say this, goodbye Courtney.”
Courtney jumped out her seat and didn’t bother paying the bill. She chased Heather to the front of the restaurant and hugged her. She hugged her tight. She hugged her to translate everything she wanted it do to her. Light kisses on her cheeks after a long, hard day, late night texts, cuddles on the couch as a shitty rom-com played on tv. Every thing she hoped heather would have someday. “I love you.” Heather sniffled. “I love you too.” She slowly wrapped her hands around Courtney. “I left are favourite perfume in your room tonight, to remember me.” Heather let go of the hug and entered the car, Courtney tried her best to smile. “Enjoy Chicago for me.”
———
Courtney wanted to forget about heather, but how could she? She decided she never would. She’d save very small bit of heather she had left. She’d been trying to forget heather for two months. It was time to accept she never would. She asked the bartender for two drinks. Two glasses of rosè. Heathers favourite. She got a taxi afterwards. Made sure her “date”, her friends, and their dates, got one too.
When she got home she picked up the letter from the countertop and went to her room. Courtney picked up a small wooden box and sat at the foot of her bed. She opened it and found heathers lip gloss, applying it to her lips. Next time her friends invited her somewhere, Courtney would where it. She then put it on her bed side, next to the bottle of perfume, and placed the poster she found too. She looked at the letter.
“If I drink enough, I can see you dancing, I can lay down next to you at the foot of my bed. If I drink enough, I can taste your lipstick, I can lay down next to you but it’s all in my head,-“
“I swear, that I’ll wake up next to you.”
-heather
It’s weird isn’t it? The one thing Heather promised, she never did. They never woke up next to each other, but that was okay. She laid down on her bed and closed her eyes.
“Only if I drink enough, I swear I’ll wake up next to you.”