Work Text:
1976
“Prongs, I already told you that I do not want to go to your stupid party tonight!”
“Oi! It is not stupid!” Remus didn’t need to say anything, as he gave James the look“Okay, but you have to go, the whole gryffindor is going to be there and I know that once you have a bit of firewhiskey you’ll have fun… If you’re not having fun, you can always go for a smoke with Pads, like you always do at every bloody party…”
Remus knew he was right, Sirius always noticed when he wasn’t comfortable and asked if he wanted to leave for a smoke and they would stay there for the rest of the party, or until they needed a drink or something.
“Oh fuck it. Okay, I’ll go to the party.”
And that's how Remus got himself at a party, with indeed the whole bloody gryffindor, some ravenclaws and hufflepuffs and Remus swears he even saw a slytherin 'Was that Regulus Black?' but that might just be the alcohol…
Remus felt someone observing him, he looked up and realised that Sirius was looking at him, ''of course it was Sirius'... His friend started coming closer and closer.
“Come here, let’s dance.” said Sirius.
I feel so unsure
As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor
Remus didn’t even say a thing and just followed his friend. A familiar song started playing just as they got closer to the dance floor… 'Was that George Michael? Fucking hell!'
They were in the middle of the dance floor now, Sirius’ face was unreadable, but yet very sweet and Remus felt his face heating up ‘Blushing? Really Remus?’, he thought to himself. He tried to pull himself together, took Sirius by the waist and started swinging to the beat… Sirius looked surprised by the action, making Remus smirk, proud of the way his friend’s face was slightly pink.
It's been a while since Remus realised that his friendship, 'relationship?', with Sirius was leading to something different, 'but that doesn't need to be bad, does it?'. Then it hit him what his feelings meant, that it wasn’t just a crush, he was in love with Sirius, his best friend, Sirius fucking Black. The same Sirius Black that hated when his hair wasn’t the way he wanted, the self proclaimed punk rock but the same boy that always blushed when Remus did as much as look his way.
That's when he knew... He was fucked.
As the music dies, something in your eyes
Calls to mind a silver screen
And all its sad good-byes
I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
1982
The same stupid Sirius Black that was now in fucking Askaban for the death of James and Lily Potter. The same Sirius that was scared of storms, and hated sleeping alone, that knew how to speak french and latin, and how to dance ballet, ‘ballet for fuck’s sake!’ The same boy that promised him heaven and now put him through hell.
The same boy that once made him the happiest he’s ever been, the same boy that was so loved by Remus and as Remus likes to think loved him back. But if he really did, he would be here, helping Remus take care of baby Harry, or even better, he would be here with him, with James, Lily and Peter, everyone alive and happy, no betrayal, no war, just love, how things were a long time before... So long that even the memory was failing.
He should have known, he should have known that he was never meant to be happy, that he was always meant for being alone, and he should be alone, he really fucking should, but now he has Harry, and this little baby, little James and Lily, his best friends, the best couple, parents, friends, the best people he ever knew. And so he would take care of their child, he owed them this, but he would do this the way he wanted, fuck Dumbledore, fuck the Ministry of Magic, fuck Petunia and Vernon, fuck Sirius Black!
☆☆☆
Should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
1993
How? How did he let things get this far? This messed up. It was all his fault, James and Lily were both dead and it was all his fault, Peter Pettigrew, the little rat, being the secret keeper was his fault, and Remus alone, his Moony, all alone, was all his fucking fault, because he didn’t trust Remus enough, and he should have known better, he should have known that he whould ruin everythin. Now he would pay for it, he deserves this…
He would never be able to forget the pain in Remus’ eyes everytime they fought during the war, he did that, he caused that pain, and why? Because he didn’t trust the love of his life, and he would never be able to fix that. He didn't deserve Remus’ love, never did, never would, and he would never ask for forgiveness. He didn’t want forgiveness, what he did was unforgivable. He was going to rot in Azkaban and he was okay with that, because this whole situation was his fault, and this was his punishment…
That is until he knew Peter was alive... He needed to make things right, to kill the little traitor! He would find a way out of this prison and would avenge his best friend’s death, avenge all the lost time...
Time can never mend
The careless whispers of a good friend
To the heart and mind
Ignorance is kind
There's no comfort in the truth
Pain is all you'll find
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you
Never without your love
“Where is he, Sirius?” Sirius’s breath caught in his throat, his face expressionless, he remembered this voice very well, Remus. Very slowly, he raised his hand, and pointed straight at the ginger boy, Ron. Remus looked at him, very intently, even after all this time, he could still read him very well. Sirius swears he saw the slightly change when everything sunk into Remus's mind, when he understood what happened 12 years ago...
“Unless he was the one… unless you fucking switched without telling me?’
Anger started boiling through Remus, everything made sense, they didn’t trust him, Sirius didn’t trust him… Not enough, not enough to make him the secret keeper, or to at least tell him that they switched.
He put that thought aside, they had a rat to get and now, they would finally have the time to talk, and more importantly to explain everything to Harry, all the missing parts from the time that never left any of their minds…
Tonight the music seems so loud
I wish that we could lose this crowd Maybe it's better this way
We'd hurt each other with the things we'd want to say
“Moony”
After all this time, after everything, Sirius Black could still make his heart skip a beat, and it’s something out of his control, because if it was, Sirius Black wouldn’t be able to make him like this, like a fool. Sirius explained everything, every little detail to both Remus and Harry, the poor boyrefused to let go of Remus’ side since Peter’s trial. Sirius could only watch the scene, how close they got, how happy they were and how they had each other all this time, a little smile crept into his face…
☆☆☆
1994
During the summer, things got better, he got closer to Harry, and Remus was starting to loosen up a bit, getting comfortable with him again, everything was falling into place...
Harry was a smart kid, he knew that Sirius and Remus had a past, and the feelings never left, so just like his father, he had to meddle… During one night, Remus was making dinner and Sirius was just watching him, Harry had the ‘picking the record for the night’ job, so that’s what he did.
Having the Potter’s blood, plus Lily’s brain and sassiness, combined with being raised by the one and only pranks mastermind Remus John Lupin, he thought it would be funny to pick a slow love song, turn off some lights and then just disappear, leaving his godfather and Moony alone.
What he didn’t know was that the record that he picked, was not a new thing for the two men… As the beat started, both their hearts stopped. Harry found it funny, if not weird, two grown men gasping at the music and seconds later looking at each other, both flustered. A whole conversation seemed to happen as they exchanged looks, a conversation that he didn’t understand, like it was a different language, full of memories and history.
☆☆☆
We could have been so good together
We could have lived this dance forever
But now who's gonna dance with me
1996
And just like that it was all gone, right in front of Remus’s eyes, the image of his lover, the love of his life, going through the veil, and there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t just fucking jump in there and leave Harry. 'Will you ever learn? We have been here before...'
Just like that everything was lost again, he was without Sirius again, after all, they didn’t have a lot of time...
Please stay
And I'm never gonna dance again
It was all empty again…