Work Text:
The Present (part1):
Everything was perfect. The venue is dreamy and romantic. Everything was going well at the wedding. He planned it after all.
"Kyungsoo!" Here's the groom smiling at him. "Everything looks great..."
Kyungsoo smiled at Jongin. And the younger one hugged him tight.
"Thanks for making me happy." Jongin whispered in his ear. He got teary eyed but tried to hold it in. And hugged the younger tight. His best friend, the love of his life.
Jongin released him and Kyungsoo ducked his head, brushing and arranging his suit.
"Let's go Soo, wedding will start soon." A smiling Jongin said.
He looks happy.
"Are you happy?" Kyungsoo asks.
"Very..." was the answer.
"Go ahead, I'll be there soon"
The happy groom left after one last hug.
Kyungsoo took a deep shuddering breath trying to hold the tears.
His best friend is getting married.
He should be happy for him. He has loved him for 10 years now and volunteered to arrange his wedding.
It was a one sided love the other never knew. It's time to let go. Time to move on.
He entered the venue with his heart breaking to pieces.
He will always be by his side, as a friend. His best friend. He'll have to be contented with that. He endured for ten years, why not 20 more...
He will try to be happy for him because he will never love another like he loved Jongin...
The Past:
The two had been inseparable ever since Jongin’s family moved into their neighborhood when he was in fourth grade. He had been sickly when he was in second grade so he had to stop and repeat it. Thus even if he is older than Jongin they are in the same grade level.
Their friendship started when Jongin just moved in and was taking out the trash and saw a small pale boy being pushed near the trash and recycle bins. Without hesitating, he immediately ran to help the small boy. The bully was burly but short and Jongin is taller and has a loud voice. He immediately hollered to alert his parents and the bully ran as his mom came out to see what happened.
Kyungsoo’s mom also came and as they checked the pale boy for injuries, introductions were made.
Kyungsoo and Jongin shyly shook hands and since then they became playmates, then eventually, best of friends.
Kyungsoo never knew when he was certain about his feelings for Jongin.
Maybe it was during highschool when his best friend started to talk about girls on which he had no interest in.
“Soo, are you listening?”
“Yeah…” he would say without taking his eyes off the book he is reading for both their homework.
“No you’re not… If you are then what was I talking about?” Jongin would pester him.
“Mia this, Mia that… Mia talked to you today… Mia smiled… Mia ate an apple… Mia dropped her pen and you picked it up… Mia said thanks…” Kyungsoo recited without emotion.
“Soo…” Jongin is sulking… He wanted Kyungsoo to take interest in hearing about his crush like his other friends.
“Nini, if you want to brag about your crush with Mia, tell it to someone who likes gossiping like Taemin. We are supposed to study now and do our homework, remember?”
“But you are my best friend and of course I tell you everything.” Jongin pouts.
Kyungsoo is always weak for NIni’s pout. And he sighs.
“Tell me everything except for your crushes… I am not interested in them.” was what he replied. His mood just sours hearing him talk about girls.
“Why? Aren’t you interested in pretty girls? Don’t you have a crush?”
“No…” The answer is precise, succinct and curt.
“But-” Jongin protests.
“I said NO, Nini. My priority is my studies. No silly stuff.” another curt answer.
“So, I’m silly now?”
“Yeah, coz you keep yapping and yapping. Do your homework!” Kyungsoo scolds the younger boy.
“Now you sound like my mom…” Jongin sighs “I won’t have to, you’ll let me copy anyway.”
“.........”
And Kyungsoo just rolls his eyes upward. Nini is right. He will scold, be angry and sulk, but in the end, he will just let Jongin have his own way. He spoils Nini too much.
*****
As they grew up, they were always there for each other. Jongin may be lazy in studying but Kyungsoo makes sure he studies for exams. Nini may slack in studying but he has a sharp brain and grasps lessons easily. Unlike Kyungsoo. He has to work hard to get good grades but it pays off since he is always at the top 3 of his class.
College presented a challenge. Jongin wanted them to have the same course, Architecture. But Kyungsoo wanted to do Interior Design. Again Kyungsoo compromised. He will do Interior Architecture with a minor course in Interior Design. He will have to double the effort in studying but at least they both will be in the same department.
The real challenge was when Jongin began dating and as his best friend, Kyungsoo had to grin and bear the pain of the constantly changing girls being introduced to him. And also being the one who comforts Nini when he becomes broken-hearted.
At first it was bearable because Jongin kept on changing girls, one after the other. ‘Maybe he’s not serious with all those girls.’ He would always tell himself.
And he would be content.
All the while, in his heart, grew the love he has for his best friend.
Then one day in their final year in college, Anya came.
At first, Kyungsoo thought that Anya was like any other girls that Jongin liked. After several weeks, maybe a month or two, they’ll break up like the others.
But weeks turned into months…
They graduated…
They had their jobs…
Before Kyungsoo knows it, Jongin and Anya have been together for 3 years.
*****
“Kyungsoo, I have something to tell you.”
When Jongin said that, his heart felt it was being squeezed. But he has a ton of practice hiding his feelings when it comes to Jongin.
So he smiled and listened… But still his heart broke when he heard the words…
“I’m going to propose to Anya.” Jongin said giddily. He looks so happy.
So he does what is expected of him.
He hugged his best friend tight and murmured, “I’m so happy for you” while trying not to let his hurt show.
Fortunately, Jongin knows him as a crybaby, so he mistakes those tears that flow from his eyes as happy tears.
“Thank you, Soo. Thank you for always supporting me and making me happy.”
Unable to answer, Kyungsoo just hugged his friend again, fist clutching at Jongin's back.
After a week, Jongin called him to say that Anya said yes.
When Jongin asked him to meet for a celebratory dinner he declined saying he’s swamped at work. Then accepted a previously rejected project to work abroad for a few months.
Kyungsoo tried…
He really did. He wanted to forget Jongin as much as he could but he was always bombarded with messages whenever he didn't answer his calls.
In lieu of blocking Jongin, which he can’t do, since he can’t even explain why he would block an innocent guy without explaining his secret, Kyungsoo finally answered his call after giving excuses that he is so busy.
Jongin sounded so happy to talk to him, but a sense of foreboding filled his heart.
“When are you coming home, Soo? I missed you.” Jongin complains. “You never answer my calls, only my messages.” He could practically hear him pout.
“Soon, the project took longer than expected.” Kyungsoo evades answering exact dates.
“But Soo… I need you here.”
“WHY?”
“Soo, I need you to organize my wedding.”
“......”
Kyungsoo is speechless. He was so shocked.
“Soo? … are you there?” Jongin thought they were disconnected.
“I...I’m here. W-why me?” Kyungsoo tried to make his speech normal when his hand was shaking and he was about to cry.
“Because you have the best eye for beauty. I saw your works, Soo, they are amazing. So I want you to design our venue and maybe incorporate the other stuff like cakes and souvenirs to your design.” an oblivious but enthusiastic Jongin replied. “And you are my best friend who designs amazing things, so who else would I go to except you.”
“W-what about A-anya? Does she approve of me doing this?” Kyungsoo tried to get something negative out of this to escape.
“Of course, actually she was the one who suggested it. She was too busy to coordinate with the wedding planner and asked me to do it alone. When I said I don't know much about wedding design, she suggested I ask you to help me.”
That’s new... Anya was always jealous of him. That's why he is always the one who adjusts and moves away whenever they are together.
Kyungsoo was confused.
“Of course, you will be my best man. That goes without being said, because that is what you are, MY BEST MAN!” Jongin exclaims proudly.
Kyungsoo could only hum his approval. But deep inside, his heart is breaking into pieces.
*****
After a month he went home. He really can't say no to Jongin until now.
He made the designs, coordinated with the wedding planner with Jongin approving most of his suggestions.
“What is Anya’s favorite flower?” Kyungsoo absently asks as he tries to incorporate the theme of the flowers in the venue with the bouquet of the bride.
“Uh… Rose?”
“Why are you asking me? You are the fiance, you should know.” an irritated Kyungsoo comments.
“Uh… she never told me, she always says she likes anything I give her. You like pink lilies, they’re pretty so maybe you can use that.” Jongin nonchalantly replies.
Kyungsoo was shocked. Jongin knows his favorite flower?
“Since when did you know pink lilies are my favorite?” the puzzled man queries.
“”Highschool! I asked your mom what flowers you want for your graduation bouquet and she said you love pink lilies.” Jongin smiles fondly. “Don’t you notice that I always give you pink lilies? When you got hospitalized because you are anemic, highschool graduation, college graduation? Your bouquet was even bigger than Anya’s and she got jealous.” Jongin laughs at the last thought.
“So just use pink lilies, It will be nice.” Nini adds.
Kyungsoo feels bittersweet at the thought of Nini wanting to use his favorite flower at his wedding.
The Present (part 2)
Kyungsoo entered the venue with a heavy heart.
The first thing he noticed was that Jongin was restless.
Kyungsoo went to his best friend's side and touched his shoulder.
“Jongin?” he asks the agitated groom.
“We can’t contact Anya. Her mom arrived a few minutes ago and was puzzled why Anya’s bridal car is not here since she left before her mom.” Nini seems to be in panic.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll be fine.” Kyungsoo tries to reassure his best friend.
After 15 minutes, the wedding planner nervously approached Jongin and Kyungsoo.
Jongin was already distraught so Kyungsoo pulled the lady aside.
“What’s wrong?”
“This email arrived in our office email address and I had my staff print it out.” The wedding planner handed him a sheet of paper.
[Don’t let anyone panic. I am fine.
This wedding cannot push through because I am in love with someone else.
Tell Jongin I’m sorry, I truly am.
I am such a coward for not telling him face to face.
Tell Kyungsoo to take care of Jongin.
Please don’t try to find me.
To my parents, Jongin’s family and the guests. I apologize.
Again I’m sorry,
Anya
P.S. All expenses will be shouldered by me, I just wanted to be happy.]
When Soo took Nini to the side, trying his best to be gentle with the distraught friend but after reading the letter, all hell broke loose.
*****
The Aftermath
Jongin just drowned himself in work.
Come Friday night, he always drinks till he drops.
Fortunately, Jongin still has him in speed dial (#1).
Funny, because Anya used to be on that spot.
So bars call him to pick his best friend up. This happened a couple of times then he asked Jongin to call him up if he wanted to drink. So since then, he always accompanies his best friend every weekend. He doesn’t drink, just accompanies him and listens to his sorrows.
It has become a habit. For about a year now Kyungsoo makes time for Jongin every weekend just to hang out and so Jongin could drown his sorrows. Soo suggested that he stop drinking since it’s bad for Jongin’s health, but the younger one says it helps him forget.
“Helps you forget her?” Kyungsoo hasn’t got the guts to say the name of the girl who left his best friend at the altar.
“H-her, ferget? lontimago!” Jongin’s words are now slurred.
“Wannafergetchu…” the drunk man murmured.
Kyungsoo wasn’t sure if he heard it wrong.
“What?”
But the only reply he got was a loud hiccup and a snore. Jongin is out for the night.
Another night of heaving a heavy and taller Jongin to his apartment. Wiping and cleaning the man and changing his clothes like a dutiful wife. Except he is not. He is just the best friend.
*****
Habits…
Funny thing is, habits are quite addicting.
Drinking at bars turned to sleep overs since most of the time Kyungsoo is too tired to go home. He just leaves before Jongin wakes up.
But it became breakfast together, no, mostly it's lunch since Nini usually wakes up late after a hangover…
Kyungsoo always says, ‘I’ll cook for him just this once’ but it became a habit.
Spending weekends together. Leaving a spare shirt and pants on each other’s house or maybe an underwear or two. Just in case, each of them said. In case we need them, in emergencies.
Neither of them noticed that both had been each other’s company every weekend. Neither of them noticed the gradual cancelling of plans with office mates or friends just to be together on weekends.
Habits…
*****
One friday afternoon, Jongin called.
“Soo, there is a typhoon coming, can we spend the weekend at your house? It’s raining so much and your house is nearer.”
‘Can WE spend the weekend’ he says, a bemused Kyungsoo shakes his head.
This is becoming a dangerous habit.
For him.
He has fallen hard for his best friend but all the more he tries to suppress it. But Jongin makes it hard for him by just assuming things.
And Kyungsoo knows eventually he will be hurt again.
*****
Kyungsoo has just showered and is wearing his old sweats when Jongin arrived with a shopping bag full of alcohol and snacks. “Both of us are drinking tonight.”
“.....”
“Oh, I got us some dinner too.” the taller one said, holding out his other hand with a paper bag full of chinese take-out since he could smell the aroma of sweet and sour pork.
“.....”
“I’ll go shower and you fix the food, I’m starving!” Jongin hollered as he entered Soo’s bedroom as if it’s his own. After digging out his clothes from the closet, he entered the bathroom.
It has always been Jongin’s habit to drink but it's the first time they will drink together.
And Kyungsoo’s heart is troubled.
*****
“Are you sick? You’ve been so quiet during dinner.” Nini moves to place a palm on Soo’s forehead. The older one dodges.
“I’m fine… a bit tired, maybe.” Kyungsoo smiles at his best friend.
“Okay, let’s just relax and drink.” Jongin opened a bottle of soju and began pouring.
A movie is playing on the tv but the volume is turned low.
They began to talk about mundane stuff then as the alcohol flowed their conversation turned to more serious stuff.
“Have you moved on, Nini?” biting his lip, Kyungsoo hopes Jongin won’t be angry.
A sigh, then a hollow laugh.
“I moved on a long time ago, Soo. Loving Anya had become a tedious habit. A chore, an obligation. I realized that about a month after she left me at the altar.” Jongin shook his head and smiled bitterly.
“ We were just going through the motions. It started on the wedding preparations, maybe earlier. Mom was pushing me to get married soon and Anya said she was not ready yet. But eventually she said yes but then she seemed uninterested in all the wedding preparations. I should have noticed it back then. I was so happy at the idea of getting married that I didn’t notice that Anya and I were drifting apart.” He took a shot of soju and drank it cleanly.
“Looking back, to be honest, I was more excited to be spending time with you than arguing with Anya to be more hands on in the wedding preparation.Spending time with you was one of my stress free and happiest times.” Jongin faced Kyungsoo with a genuine smile.
“Thank You Soo, for always making me happy.” Jongin touched the cheek of the red faced Kyungsoo.
“Hey, are you drunk already? Ah, yes, your alcohol tolerance was always low. Here, lean on to me.” They were sitting side by side on the couch
Kyungsoo is indeed drunk, but he is also drunk with happiness on the way Jongin has been talking just now. He’s so sweet, and he said ‘I make him happy”.
So instead of leaning on Jongin's shoulder, Kyungsoo leaned in to kiss the younger one on the lips.
Jongin was shaken at first. He was really confused for a while now as to why he always wanted to be on Kyungsoo’s side and it hurts his heart if he thinks about Kyungsoo eventually marrying another person.
Something clicked inside him at the touch of Soo’s soft lips on his. Like a puzzle finding its missing piece.
He is in love with Kyungsoo.
He is in love with his best friend.
*****
Kyungsoo woke up with a splitting headache.
And his body can't move.
Kyungsoo painstakingly opens his eyes and almost screams because Jongin’s lips are near his and his big body is draped on top of his smaller one. No, he amends, Jongin’s big NAKED body is draped on top of his own NAKED self.
What the hell?
He tries shoving that heavy body off himself but…
“Hey, Baby…” The heavy log of a man murmurs on his ear. “Mornin...”
WHAT THE FUCK? BABY??? WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED LAST NIGHT????
Kyungsoo didn't realize he was shouting those thoughts.
“Baby, don't shout, it’s still early. And to answer your question, no we didn’t fuck yet. We just made out a bit and had um....mutual release by um….touching…” Jongin trails off. To be honest, he really wanted to make love with Soo, but he wants him sober and he needs to be prepared because he’s clueless and he doesn’t wanna hurt Kyungsoo.
“Do you realize what we have done?” Kyungsoo sat up, covering himself with the blanket. “Jongin you’re not gay.”
“And you are, I just realized that. And that's the reason you don’t have girlfriends. But Kyungsoo, I also realized last night, all the confusion I felt when I was with Anya, all the uncertainties was all because of you. I like you Soo. and I am willing to be gay just for you.” Jongin held Soo’s face and looked into his eyes with certainty and sincerity.
“I’m willing to be gay, just only for you, because I like you, Kyungsoo, so much.” Jongin repeats the sentiment as he leans in to give Soo a soft and heartfelt kiss.
The kiss was filled with warmth and love with the salty taste of Kyungsoo’s tears.
“Are you unhappy?” Jongin asks as he wipes those tears with his thumbs.
“No!” the older one vehemently denies, “I’m just so overwhelmed and happy. I...I never thought you’d feel the same way and I….” and Soo proceeds to cry again.
“Shhhhh, Baby. It’s over now. I’m here and I’m yours.” Nini hugs Soo and pecks him on the lips.
“Mine? Truly?” Kyungsoo asks the love of his life.
“Uh huh, truly yours for eternity. Indeed you are my best man because you are the BEST MAN for me. I love you, my Kyungsoo.”
“And I love you, my Jongin.”
*****
Their path may not all be rainbows and flowers.
They have hardships, trials, discrimination and sufferings.
But as long as they have each other, everything will work out fine.
Besides, they are each other’s BEST MAN…
* FIN *