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Castiel didn't know what he had been thinking.
A few days ago he had been contacted by some angels. They said they needed his help. Castiel had been hesitant, but he answered them anyway. They had been vague on why they needed his help, but Castiel had still shown up.
It was a trap. And an obvious one.
Six of them circled him. When he had asked why they called him here, they answered him by saying he had to be punished for what he had done to Heaven.
And now Castiel lay on the wet, cold concrete next to a liquor store. Its red neon glow illuminated the dark empty parking lot, reflecting off the puddles of rainwater. Castiel clutched his side as the remaining three angels slowly approached him. He glanced down. He was injured badly, his grace flowing from his wounds.
"You don't have to do this," Castiel tried as his brothers and sister drew nearer.
"Yes, we do," one of them replied. "You've gotten off too easy until now. Who would have thought it would be this easy to kill you all along?"
So this was it. This was how Castiel was going to die. In some parking lot next to a liquor store all alone.
Cas had been acting strange the past week. Dean knew Cas was keeping something from him. But Dean also didn't want to pressure him. Cas would tell him when he was ready. Or so Dean thought.
Cas had been acting super distant and distracted today. He hardly contributed to any of their conversations, and Dean had to keep grabbing his attention from whatever he kept thinking about.
Now it was almost 2am, and Dean hadn't heard anything from the angel. Something had felt off, so Dean called. Then prayed. Then called. Then prayed again before he started pacing his room anxiously. He stopped. He could track Cas through his phone. Sam had shown him how a couple weeks ago. Dean grabbed his laptop and hopped on his bed. He found Cas in no time. He was in the middle of nowhere. That wasn't a good sign. Dean grabbed his keys and raced out of the bunker.
Somehow, Dean wasn't pulled over as he sped across town to find Cas. He drove through an old back road that didn't have five feet of asphalt without a crack in it. This was shady, and a sinking feeling tugged at Dean's gut. Dean hadn't seen anything for miles and was beginning to lose hope when he saw a light; it was a red neon sign that read: "LIQUOR".
And then he saw Cas.
He was laying on the ground attempting to sit up as three people approached him. They were all holding angel blades.
Angels. Of course.
Three more angels lay scattered across the empty parking lot. Dean pressed down on the gas and drove full force into the angels walking towards Cas. They went flying. They wouldn't be gone long, though. Dean raced out of the Impala to Cas.
"Dean?" Cas grimaced as he managed to sit up. He was holding his side. It must've been bad.
"Yeah, it's me." Dean helped Cas up and dragged him to the car. Dean opened the door, and Cas practically fell into the passenger seat.
Dean glanced back to see the angels coming back. He took a knife from his jacket and rolled up his sleeve. He cut deep into his arm. He'd have to work fast. He raced a few feet forward and began painting the angel-banishing sigil on a dry patch of ground. He hoped Cas wasn't too close. The angels were nearing. Dean hastily finished the sigil, hoping his sloppy work was good enough. The leading angel suddenly stopped when he saw what Dean had drawn.
"Don't mess with my friend," Dean said before slamming his hand in the center of the symbol, sending the angels away.
Dean stood up and raced back to the Impala. He sighed in relief as he saw Cas still sitting in the passenger seat. The angel's head rested against the seat, and he was staring distantly through the windshield. Dean rushed to the driver's side, slid into his seat, and jammed the keys into the Impala. He slammed his foot on the gas pedal while glancing at Cas as he backed out of the parking lot. Cas was fighting to stay awake.
"Shit," Dean muttered. "How bad is it?"
Cas pulled his hand away just enough for Dean to see grace spilling out of...somewhere. Dean couldn't make out exactly where. But it was pouring out fast. Cas wasn't going to make it back. Dean pulled over. He had to do something—anything—to get Cas patched up enough to get back to the bunker. Dean ran to the trunk and pulled out the first aid kit. Maybe he could get Cas to stop bleeding, or leaking, or whatever, so his grace would stop leaving his body. Dean opened the passenger door. Cas' eyes snapped open, and he flinched. He was ten shades paler and drenched in sweat.
"It's just me," Dean said. "Let me see."
Cas carefully unbuttoned his shirt and winced as he pulled the cloth off his bloody skin. It wasn't just one deep cut like Dean had thought. Cas' abdomen was littered with cuts ranging from wounds that barely cut his skin to some that were deep enough to touch bone. Dean knew torture when he saw it. Those other angels weren't there to merely kill Cas. They wanted him to feel pain.
"Those sons of bitches! I should've killed them!" Dean exclaimed.
"They were just doing what they thought was right," Cas spoke softly. It sounded like he could barely get the words out.
"Don't defend them," Dean spat and grabbed some gauze. "I'm just going to try and stop all this bleeding, and then we'll fix you back at the bunker, okay?"
"Okay," his voice even softer this time.
Dean cupped Cas' face, and Cas' eyes fluttered open. "Stay with me, Cas," Dean said. His heart was hammering loudly in his chest. He'd lost Cas too many times. He won't lose him now. He can't lose him now.
Swallowing down his panic, Dean picked the nastiest looking cut and gently dabbed it. Cas made a small noise and balled his hands up into fists. Dean had to keep Cas awake and preferably not thinking about the pain. Dean had to get him talking.
"This was intentional, wasn't it?" Dean asked.
"Yes, Dean. They attacked me," Cas bit back. He peeked down at what Dean was doing for a second before looking away.
"No, I mean all of this. They could've killed you fast. But they didn't. They were making you suffer." Dean finished cleaning up that cut and went to the next one. He looked up at Cas. "Cas?"
"I suppose."
"Did you know they were going to do this before you met them?"
"Of course not! Why would I come if I thought they were going to harm me?"
"I don't know, Cas. Seems to me like you weren't putting up much of a fight. I've seen you take on worse and come out with less."
"You're being too rough." Cas looked down disdainfully as Dean finished cleaning one of his wounds.
"Stop avoiding the conversation." Dean pressed the medical tape on extra firm before moving onto the next cut. He pulled back Cas' shirt to see an even deeper cut. "Dammit, Cas! You could've died if I wasn't there!" Dean glared up at the angel and cursed the involuntary tears stinging his eyes. Cas wouldn't look at him. "Hey." Dean wouldn't let him run from this. Cas finally met his gaze. At least he didn't look as pale as before. There was still pain in his eyes, but it wasn't from the injuries. It was something Dean recognized in himself. Guilt. "You think you deserve this."
Cas looked away again. "Let's just go."
"You don't deserve this! What the hell were you thinking?!"
"I do deserve this, Dean!" Cas turned to him fiercely. "Do you know what I've done to Heaven? What I've done to my own brothers and sisters? I can't—" His voice cracked, and he looked down. "I can't live like this."
"You don't have to be alone, Cas! I'm right here!" Dean put a hand in Case shoulder. "Just please, please stop doing shit like this."
"Why does it matter to you? You don't know what I'm feeling!" Cas returned Dean's gaze.
"No, I don't, but I can't lose you, okay? I need you! If I had lost you tonight..."
Dean had to stop himself from going there. He couldn't even imagine what he'd be doing tomorrow if he realized Cas had died. He never wanted to go down that road. Cas was the one he could count on not to die.
"Dean, I'm sorry. I just... You and Sam don't need me. You can do it without me. You two were hunting long before you met me."
"And? That doesn't change a damn thing. You're my best friend. I was worse off back then without you."
They locked eyes. Dean was hoping if Cas saw how upset he really was over this, he'd stop believing this lie. Dean truly meant it when he said he needed Cas. The pain Dean saw in his friend's eyes only reflected his own.
Cas finally nodded and looked down. "I understand."
"Do you?"
"Yes, Dean. I... I can't leave you. I don't want to leave you."
Dean studied him once more. He seemed to be physically much better. Dean just hoped he really meant what he said. "Ok."
Dean grabbed the first-aid kit and returned it to the trunk. He opened his door and sat down. He started the engine and looked at Cas. He was surprised to see Cas looking at him, too.
"Dean..." His voice was quiet. "Thank you."
"Yeah, any time," Dean replied awkwardly.
There were too many feelings now. Dean just wanted to go home. He put the car in drive. The journey back to the bunker was silent, but Dean didn't mind. It was peaceful, and he didn't feel like there was anything wrong in between them. If anything, they were closer.