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In the seven years aboard Voyager, Chakotay had been through a lot; he’d been linked up to a hive mind, he’d been brainwashed into committing mutiny, and he’d watched his friends die more than once (some of them dying more than once per person, in fact). He’d seen death, he’d seen new life, he’d been tortured, he’d been healed. Somehow, all of that experience (and, frankly, trauma) did not prepare him for the absolute rollercoaster that was their final day in the Delta Quadrant and their first day back in the Alpha Quadrant.
From the arrival of Admiral Janeway to the heart-stopping moment that Earth came onto their viewscreen in the wake of an exploded Borg cube, each moment had taken its toll on the first officer until, in the quiet moments after they had come into orbit around Earth and were ordered to stay put until Starfleet could confirm their identities and open a bay for them, he was certain he was going to fall asleep on his feet.
He stood at the helm, too afraid to sit for fear of actually drifting off, keeping an eye on the sensors as Earth passed, blue and green and more beautiful than he ever remembered, quietly below.
“Commander Chakotay: my ready room.”
Her husky voice sounded much more awake than he felt. “On my way.”
She was standing at the window, watching Earth drift below just as he had been a moment before. Her hands were clasped behind her back, but she seemed more relaxed than he remembered seeing her in quite some time. Quietly, he stepped up next to her and mirrored her stance.
“Well, we made it.” It felt stupid to say because, of course they had made it, Earth was right there but he couldn’t think of anything else to say. The weight of their journey was heavy in the air and yet, Chakotay felt just a bit lighter than he had in the Delta Quadrant before the admiral had arrived.
“We did.”
He heard the smile in her voice and glanced down at Kathryn for just a moment; the morsel of joy gracing her lips was somehow more beautiful than the vast planet below.
He turned back towards the window as a pleasant warmth settled in his chest. “I-”
Suddenly, slender fingers were grasping the collar of his jacket, pulling him downward with a surprising strength. Soft lips met his with a firm but brief pressure. Just as he registered what was happening, the moment was over and nervous blue eyes were looking up into his.
He froze for a moment, scarcely believing that Kathryn Janeway had kissed him. He’d dreamt of such a scenario, imagined what it would feel like to finally push away all of their parameters and show her exactly what she meant to him. A thousand different scenes of such an action had run through his mind in the seven years they had been in the Delta Quadrant. None of them compared to the real thing.
Every cell in his body wanted to lean back down and kiss her until someone told them to stop. Every cell, that is, save for one.
“Kathryn,” he swallowed, trying to clear away the rasp in his voice, “are you sure?”
She held his gaze with a look he had seen in her eyes many times before, the one where she was nervous about the result of her actions, but too stubborn to back down from the decision she had made. “More sure than I have been in a long time.”
“But our parameters-”
“The hell with them.” She swallowed. “I’ve taken you for granted for far too long, Chakotay. You’ve always been there and I’ve always kept you at arms length. Now that we’re back home, I-” Kathryn gave him a small smile. “Well, I realized that no place could ever be home without you.”
He smiled back cautiously. “Are you sure you’re really ready for this? Because to love you openly, Kathryn... I’ve got seven years of pent up romantic tension behind me and I might get serious about this very quickly.”
“Good.” She smiled even wider, her eyes lined with silver. “Because I also happen to have seven years of dreaming about a future with you behind me and I want to get started as fast as possible.”
The last bit of his mind that was holding him back let go and he smiled fully, his heart suddenly very full. “That almost sounds like a challenge.”
Her smile became a playful smirk and she tilted her head. “Maybe it is.”
“Good. Because I want a big house with a dog and lots of kids and I want to be so affectionate that Harry Kim refuses to be seen with us.”
She laughed aloud at that, throwing her head back and patting him on the chest. “I’ll agree to all of that save for one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I want two dogs.”
“I’ll agree to another dog if we can also get a cat.”
“A cat? I didn’t take you for a cat person.”
“No that’s right - you thought I was a bear person.”
The reference to their earlier years on Voyager made her laugh again as he tucked her into a tight embrace, her head resting nicely under his chin. They stayed like that for a moment, savoring the closeness they had both craved for years.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to- to let us be like this.” Her voice was quiet.
Chakotay leaned back and lifted one hand to softly cup her cheek. “Hey, don’t blame yourself. I was holding us back too, I’m just not as good at hiding my feelings. What’s important now is that we’re here.”
Kathryn leaned into his touch with a smile. “I love you, Chakotay.”
The smile he gave in return was nearly blinding. “I love you too, Kathryn.”
He wasn’t sure who kissed who this time; maybe they leaned forward at once. What he did know was that kissing Kathryn Janeway with the hopeful future they had just laid out before them in his mind was the most at-home he had ever felt, on a planet or in space or otherwise.