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I’m tired of those mediocre know it all’s. They always give you a headache and heartache. That is the surest thing that you can expect of them, and the rest is a hazy line of unexceptional asshole-ness.
If you’re wondering why I know this- I know because I’ve been dating them.
I think I may have a PhD in spotting them from a mile away but still go to them for another short-lived romance that would surely end in a mess.
Gun was getting awfully weary of having to deal with his life- or more like the men involved in his life. Right now he was facing another impending doom, trying to ruin his rather lovely morning.
He can see it in his mind’s eyes, Jayler is about to break up with him. He looks dashing, as always, with those pretty Asian eyes of his that looks like he was always blinded by the sunlight and his pointed face. However today, there seems to be missing from his demeanour, an air of sureness that Gun find common whenever someone wants to break-up with him.
Gun agreed to be boyfriends with him because Jayler is fun to be with. He is bubbly and a big romantic too, however, Gun is not blind by the fact that Jayler is such a huge flirt, I mean, every single man he dated are either a flirt or an asshole, so no surprise there.
Well, there was one exception of course, but he did not entertain that thought just because it might add a pinch of bitterness to his day.
“What brought you here JayJay?”
Gun asked him, using that cheerful tone that he uses to pretend that he did not catch on with the dilemma Jayler is having. This gives him the pleasure of making the other person guilty.
See, Gun loves his mind games, he loves pretend plays, and he is such a good actor that many would think he was always in love with his boys, when in fact, he was just having fun.
Although these days, he was just plain lonely, he will not let anyone see it, he will not give him the pleasure of seeing him miserable, lest it will make that person laugh at his expense.
“I want to break up with you”
Well that was fast. I mean he did not even stutter. Hmm, this guy is something. So, instead of acting like he used to, Gun only looked at him with his cold and calculating eyes.
"I know" was his only response.
He watched as Jayler's expression morphed from cautious, to confusion, to disbelief and lastly anger. Why they get angry towards him when they are the one who wants to break-up is beyond him.
Well, he expected it but he did not expect what Jayler said next.
With a smirk that was clearly forced, he uttered, "I made Mild pregnant" then stalked away. Looking triumphant and clearly satisfied with Gun's shocked expression.
Gun cannot believe it, his bestfriend Mild. But how come? She knew that Jayler was his boyfriend. They even talk about him a lot.
Gun seemed to have misinterpreted Mild's innocent questions about Jayler, because looking at it now, it seems like Mild is always eager to know things about Jayler.
He was of course very angry with his friend, not because Jayler was his boyfriend- well ex-boyfriend to be exact, but because he felt betrayed by his friend, I mean, he can always give up Jayler, he's just a man after all, and he was also sad, he did not think that Mild can do it to him. It’s pitiful really, their friendship facing this storm because of a man.
So, with this thought in mind, he called Mild.
"Hello babie, why'd you called?" Mild in a singsong voice answered the other line.
"How are you?" He asked, cautiously, not making any hint that he knew something already.
"I'm fine hon"
It sounds like there is nothing wrong with her. The same old tone. But he sensed that something’s is different with her. Of course, stupid! She was acting, duh.
"Do you have anything you want to tell me Mild?"
He heard Mild take a deep breath, and in a slightly shaking voice she replied, "N-nothing in particular. Why'd you asked?"
"Nah, nothing. I'm gonna hang up now. See ya later"
"See you"
And the line went silent.
He massaged his head, suddenly feeling nauseous, when his phone beeped a familiar tune, indicating that he has a reminder from his phone.
He's back
He thought after looking at the reminder, which only made his head ache more.
Now he has to face another man, this time, his man.
And although he knows he owns him completely in the past, he is not sure if it's still true today. What with his escapades with men and all.
He was conflicted, whether to go to his office or go straight to the airport. But since he did not know what time he would arrive, Gun chooses to attend to his company, as its CEO.
-----
After a long day at work, Gun was so tired that he just wants to go home straight and sleep. However, his friends do not think like that.
New: Hey Gunny dear, my place later. You already agreed the other day. No excuses. Bye.
He groaned inwardly, not believing his eyes until he remembered what day it is. Of course, it’s New and Tay's anniversary, how could he forget?
But thinking back, he had so much drama in his life plus some problems at Gente, and although its only minor problems, it fully occupied his mind.
He feels guilty to bail on them so he decided to make an appearance because he was sure that he will not only face New's wrath but also Krist's, Win's, Saint's and Gulf's too. And he can crash there for the night, New have a very gigantic house, he won’t mind.
Gun: I'll be there, I'll just change clothes.
-----
Arriving at the party, he was greeted by his silly friends who are clearly tipsy already.
Gosh, it’s only 6 pm, when did they start?
Of course those bitches are accompanied by their boyfriends, who I think are still sober.
They're only having private party, and only the close friends are invited, Mild's not even here. And honestly, Gun thinks that they only included Mild because she was friends with Gun, ‘because they clearly dislike the girl; you can’t blame them though, that lady literally had a thing for their men'. And his friends are nothing but possessive.
"When did they start drinking?" Gun asked Mew who was being strangled by Gulf for no apparent reason at all.
"They started at 3 pm. I just arrived too"
He just nodded, and looked at New and Tay's direction.
"Happy anniversary lovebirds. I'm sorry I did not buy a gift but I wish you two stop kissing in front of me right now" he said while laughing a little.
He stopped when he felt someone tap his shoulders, looking up he saw Krist smiling up at him.
"What?" He asked arching his well-defined brows.
"Don't disturb those two, they're having a moment" Krist said, which is so unlike him, cause the Krist he knows would be the first one to nag.
"You however, needs to attend to something" Saint interrupted
"Or maybe someone" said Win who was clearly eavesdropping while cuddling with Bright across the table.
Gun was confused; he does not understand what they are saying, until Krist told him to go to the third guest bedroom.
But he complained that he was famished so not minding what they said, he went to the kitchen to eat.
After eating, Gun went back to the living room and joined the drinking sesh slash anniversary celebration of the couple.
"Gun, come on, go to the guest room already" Krist was constantly nagging him, but he was having fun so he just brushed him off and continued to play.
After some time, Gun already felt tipsy from drinking too much, when New went to him.
"Hey Gunny, you look tired. Why don’t you rest first?"
After hearing that, he indeed felt very tired. So he decided to go upstairs and crash on one of New's guest room. However, all the rooms that he passed by are locked so he was feeling annoyed.
Why aren't these stupid doors opening?
When he reached the third guest room, he found that it was not locked.
Sighing contentedly, he opened the door to the room, dimly lit by the moon shining outside the big window.
So dropping his overnight bag on the floor and removing his shoes, he went straight to the bed, not even bothering to wash up.
As he dropped his body to the bed, he expected to land on the soft mattress but instead, his back fell to something hard accompanied by a groan of pain.
Apparently that something is a person.
“Baby, I think you’ve gained weight for the past year”
After hearing that, Gun was frozen.
He remember that voice, heck, he even find the warmth familiar. So mustering courage, he faced that someone, tilting his head sideways, which he completely regret immediately because now he is face to face with the man he was waiting for all this time, their faces inches away from each other.
And like a jittery bug, he immediately bounced back to hopefully get away from the man, but his movement was made futile because the man held his waist in place, with just enough force to make them go closer but not hurt him.
“O-off”
“Hmmmm, do you have something you wish to tell me?” he said while sniffing Gun’s hair
“Umm W-welcome home”
Gun was having trouble thinking straight. As expected, he was still so head over heels with Off, his long-time unofficial boyfriend.
When Off went to the UK to finish his final year of medical education, they decided to end things between them. They just don’t want to end up like those cliché relationship that were broken by the distance. It was actually a mutual decision but Off promised that when he returns, he would claim Gun once and for all.
Gun was of course devastated that time, although he was the one who suggested that idea. But because he was going for a strong person façade, he did not even cry or whatsoever, and even though every cell of his body wants to cling to Off’s promise, he still felt empty, hence, the constant flirting, partying, and nasty break-ups just to fill that void.
“Is that the only thing you want to say?”
Gun only groaned in response to Off’s question, feeling light headed because Off is now sniffing his neck, trailing little kisses from time to time. It made him crazy.
“I was fucking waiting for you in the airport for hours to fetch me”
Oh shit, so he really waited.
“I-am s-sorry hmmm I was occupied hmmm with work. I forgot”
Gun’s response is kind of slurred, he was turned on, and Off’s closeness, scent and voice is not helping him calm down.
“You fucking promised Gun”
Now Off flipped him, getting on top of him, his elbows at either side of Gun to support his weight so as not to crush him.
“You should get punished” Off said.
After hearing that, Gun was dragged by his rational self in his ears, slapped him, and shook him to rationality. And although he loves the idea of being punished, curse his kinky brain, he forced his way out of Off’s grasp and sat up straight.
They are now facing each other, and not withstanding Off’s intense gaze, Gun looked down on his lap instead.
“I’m sorry” Gun said in a small voice
He did not hear or sense any movement from Off so he continued.
“I was just not sure of what we have, or had. And I know you heard news about me here, I’m just not sure if you can still accept me.”
His voice cracked at the last statement, and even though he still have many things to say, he choose to stay silent or he might burst out and cry, maybe go to his knees and beg for Off to get back with him.
He cupped his little face with his palms; Gun can feel his long fingers carefully stroking his cheeks, and in a gentle voice said
“Do you think I would get angry at you and not come back?”
Gun only nodded his head, and even if Off did not say it, it seems like a confirmation that he still loved him, and they are together again, so his tears fell uncontrollably.
.
Off watched as Gun’s tears fell from his beautiful eyes, and before it reached the sheets, he wiped it using his hands. Whispering sweet nothings to Gun to help him calm down.
Gun expected that he would get angry with him. But the silence is deafening, he was tempted to look up but Off beat him to it.
Ssshh, don’t cry baby
I won’t leave you
I’ m just here
Hush
Honestly, it has not been an easy year, what with the pressure from medical school and homesickness, Gun stopped sending him messages from time to time. It totally frustrated Off. And when he heard from his friends that Gun is being a party animal and having boys left and right, he was tempted to just immediately book a flight and get his ass back to Gun, and not just once that he actually book a ticket back to Bangkok, but thankfully he was able to restrain himself.
Thankfully, he was able to confirm from his friends that Gun was just playing around. He was not serious with his relationship with the boys. It calmed him a bit but still not enough to reassure him that Gun would actually wait for him. Honestly, Gun is just so beautiful that he was in turmoil that one of his relationships would be serious, so he cut off any news from Gun, focusing on his studies more. But there is no moment that he won’t think about his lover, heck, Gun was even present in his dreams.
My feelings never changed, you’re still the one.
He still can’t believe it, after that emotional breakdown from Gun, he immediately fell asleep in his arms, but not before making him promise that he will not leave his side while he sleeps, which Off was more than happy to oblige.
Now, he can’t get enough with the sight of Gun, when Off looked at the clock above the bedside table, he saw that it was already 2:30 am. He was staring at Gun for hours already, so he decided to sleep.
He arranged Gun’s position so the it’s little body face him, then he hugged Gun using his left arm for his right one served as Gun’s pillow and closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep but not before uttering two words, and although Gun was asleep, his heart heard it.
I’m home.